Serendipitous Friendships: In Springsteen and in Sports

I repeat the quote by Matthew Kelly in every class I teach and with each team I coach. He has said, "the friends you keep are more important than the books you read." I have yet to encounter any resistance to his words. Rather, I find an audience nodding in universal agreement. We know we can't choose our family, but we do have a say when it comes to choosing friends. And let's be honest, some of us get lucky—really lucky—when it comes to them. My mom always says "you make your luck," but I think there is something serendipitous about certain people that enter into our lives. 

I've made some of my closest friends through school, work, sports and my faith. Many of these relationships are nourished by common values, similar interests and a shared passion. But I would by lying if I didn't admit that some of my favorite people in the world have become my friends because of one particular preoccupation: American singer, songwriter and performer: Bruce Springsteen. And, watching the CBS Sunday Morning show's interview of the Boss offered me more than another opportunity to reach out to those buddies with whom I love to "speak Springsteen." 

From the conversation between The Boss and Anthony Mason, I was reminded that the miracle of friendship that can be born between two unlikely people, at unsuspecting time or in inconspicuous places. And, it is shaped, formed and sustained through sharing our talents, abilities and ourselves.

In what may be one of the more beautiful treatises on friendship, when asked “How would you describe your relationship with Clarence?” Bruce said:

“It was very primal,” he replied. “It was just, ‘Oh, you’re, you’re some missing part of me. You’re some dream I’m having. He was this huge force, you know? While at the same time being very fragile and very dependent himself, which is maybe what the two of us had in common. We were both kind of insecure down inside. And we both felt kind of fragile and unsure of ourselves. But when we were together we felt really powerful. 

“We were very different people, you know? Clarence lived fast and loose and wild and wide-open, you know? And I tended to be a little more conservative.” 

“You said offstage, you couldn’t be friends.” 

“I couldn’t because it would ruin my life!” Springsteen laughed. 

“But Clarence could be Clarence excellently. He was very good at it.” 

Until Clemons’ health went into a long decline. In 2011 he suffered a stroke and died days later. “Losing Clarence,” Springsteen writes, “was like losing the rain.”

I thought of the rare and wonderful chemistry that existed between Bruce and "C." At 6"5" and somewhere close to 280 pounds Clemons was a force, but that force was magnified by who it met and what it became on stage. It wasn't just part of the show, it was a gift for all who love both men and their music to witness the dream. 

Springsteen is indeed a poet, a performer and a musician...so I shouldn't be surprised by the loveliness of his words. His insight into friendship invited me to think of others who might share this type of gift. My mind considered former teammates like Steve Young and Jerry Rice, Chris Mullin and Manute Bol or Kareem Abdul-Jabar and Magic Johnson. These friendships pair two very different men who collaborate and create something greater than themselves. And then I realized perhaps that's exactly why Elie Wiesel said, "Friends are the jewel of life." 

True friendship asks us to be nothing more than we are...if we are fragile, we should be fragile. If we're insecure, a friend lets us be insecure. He or she may actually get what that means. And if the other is loose and larger than life, let him or her run with it. Know who you are, what you can do and delight in the other half. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. 

All Springsteen fans are grateful that part of Clarence lives on with the E Street Band in Jake Clemons, the new saxophone player. But, we also know that change that was made uptown when the Big Man joined the band, formed something "really powerful." Losing the rain has left us longing for the day when there's a Reunion tour of another kind....thank you brother man.

Photo Credits
Force
Jerry Rice & Steve Young

Jordan Spieth and His Caddy: Glad It Wasn't a Dream

I have a lot of stories, and I carry with me but a few good ones. One of my best was made known on one of my favorite sports days of the years: the final round of The Masters.

Perhaps you are one of thousands who have sought to learn all you can about the 21-year old champion Jordan Spieth in the 24 hours since his epic victory. I remember first reading about him two years ago thanks to Sports Illustrated's Sportsman of the Year Issue. Produced at the year's end, it includes a feature of "up and coming athletes."

The article, entitled "A Swing and a Hit" included a pronunciation key for his surname: "Spieth rhymes with teeth." I learned about his parents Shawn and Chris, respective athletes in their own right (baseball and basketball), as well as his younger brother Steven (who plays hoops at Brown) and his 14 year old sister, Ellie who has autism. "She keeps me grounded," said Spieth. A graduate of Dallas Jesuit, I immediately felt a kinship with this young face in American golf. But my story about Spieth comes from an unsuspecting source: his caddy.

I come from a family of teachers. My grandfather, sister, as well as too many of my uncles, aunts, cousins and I share a common profession. As educators, each one of us is familiar with what people always want to know: What do you do with your summers?! My cousin Amy and I have enjoyed plotting and strategizing how to have good ones. We discuss aiming for the right balance of activities, travel, down time, new hobbies, etc. We compare and contrast. However, I think her former co-worker figured that out best.

In the summer of 2013, Amy told me about her colleague Michael Greller; a fellow middle school teacher who caddied in the summers. He took a leave of absence from teaching in their school district to work with a young man who was going to play on the PGA tour. As written in "Why Masters Champion Jordan Spieth Hired a Former Teacher as His Caddie," Michael said he "had no aspirations of making caddying his profession. Among other things, Greller liked that it gave him a practical-world example to show the students. After caddying at  amateur tournaments, he would often bring his yardage book—which caddies use to calculate precise distances on the course—into class. "A lot of that is sixth-grade math," Greller said.

Greller first caddied for Spieth at the 2011 US Junior Amateur which was held hear Greller's home. A bond was created. In 2012, Greller caddied for him when he played in the US Open as an amateur. Spieth's 21st-place finish at the Olympic Club made him the top ranked amateur in the world. 

Dallas Jesuit so proud of their alum.
From their athletics webpage.

When Spieth went pro, Mike decided he would break from teaching, continue caddying on the tour and see where things went. Mike wasn't offered another year for a leave of absence. With the support of his wife, he committed to full time work with Jordan Spieth. Fortunately for both men, in the summer of 2013, it was to the trophy stand at the John Deere Classic. 

This past summer, I had the chance once again to spend time with Amy and talk about our June, July and August. I remembered the risk of her co-worker. I said "Amy who is that golfer your colleague caddies for." She said "Anne, it's Jordan Spieth." My jaw nearly dropped. I had just returned from Tokyo, Japan where the flagship store of Under Armour had been unveiled a few weeks prior. Who was the face of golf for this increasingly popular line of sportwear? Jordan Spieth. Who do people continue to tout as the future of American golf? Jordan Spieth. And who walked with Bubba Watson in the final pairing of the 2014 Masters? Jordan Spieth....and Michael Greller.

One of my favorite songs is "Badlands" by Bruce Springsteen. It's message is so poignant because it's hungry. And it's raw. The Boss sings:

Talk about a dream, try to make it real.
You wake up in the night, with a fear so real.
You spend your life waiting, for a moment that just don't come.Well, don't waste your time waiting.

It's hard not to love the tradition of the green jacket

We all have dreams. It's hard not to be inspired by real life examples of those who go after them.

Today, Jordan Spieth tweeted "Well, I'm glad it wasn't a dream." When Bubba Watson won The Masters for the first time in 2012, he said "I never got this far in my dreams." One of my favorite messages from the University of Notre Dame is "maybe the best dreams in life are the ones you never knew you had...that still come true."

Congratulations to Jordan Spieth, yes. But huge congratulations to Michael Greller for taking a risk. For doing things right. For letting the dream to come to you. I might not have been one you knew you had, but I will be calling you about summer work.

And ee you on your home course of Chambers Bay at the 2015 US Open! Thanks for a great story—one of my favorites.

Tomorrow's post: The Story that is The Masters....

Photo Credits
Green Jacket

Greller and Spieth
Winner

Mike Singletary: Man on a Mission The Singletarys: Family With a Mission Statement

It might seem odd to post a story about Mike Singletary on the evening before the Super Bowl. Besides, after last year's half time show what's left to say?

Undoubtedly, the Saints are a compelling story, as they represent a city that knows all that the spiritual life entails--"aching pain & delicious hope." Their opponent, led by the goodness that is Peyton Manning is as "controversial as a turkey sandwich from the gas station". No evil enemy, no proverbial axe to grind. Perhaps this is why the only controversy I have heard around the championship game of the NFL (apart from the fact Jeremy Shockey's voice in no way matches his physique) pertains to an ad that holds a pro-life message that will run. Although it is about Tim Tebow, Singletary & he share a common history. Today, it is widely recognized that they are both men on a mission, with a mission. I have wanted to write about Singletary ever since Ted Robinson told me about a compelling story in the San Jose Mercury News. Upon completion of his career as a football player, Singletary did the dishes, a whole lot of housework and drafted a mission statement for this family. A mission statement for his family? Who does that?! Mike Singletary, that's who. Read on.

It is impossible to look at Forty Niner head coach, Mike Singletary and not recognize there is something different about him. You need not know anything about football or what makes an athlete a Hall of Fame linebacker to understand he is a man of purpose, he settles for nothing but the best. Truly, he is a man on a mission.

A firm presence both on and off the field, to say Singletary is “a man of good moral fiber” is a near insult. Let’s not mince words, he is a virtual moral “tower of power.” He addresses men as “Sir,” he wears a wooden cross, and speaks slowly, passionately and thoughtfully. And, he is one tough interview.

Brian Murphy co-host of the “Murph and Mac” radio show speaks on the air with Coach Singletary the morning after every Niners game. Singletary says what he means and means what he says. His remarks although candid, deliberate and important are often stoic, even terse. If you make an attempt to probe deeper, he will say “I don’t want to talk about that anymore;” stalemate. I can recall several times whereby upon completion of an interview, all Murph was able to say was simply—nothing. Rather, at long last he would—exhale. And I so did I, a humble listener, the bipartisan fan.

Perhaps this is why Murph and I were so drawn to the December 2009 interview by Santa Rosa Press Democrat sports writer Lowell Cohn. The 4000 word transcript (!) is deeply personal. How Cohn was able to engage Singletary in this way is beyond me ( and I’ll speak for both Murph and Mac on this one, for them too). Although I do not have the answer, I am glad he did, and that "The Cohn Zone" posted the interview in four parts.

Cohn wrote: Some have complained Singletary may be interesting but that doesn't make him a good coach. Fair enough. This interview does not address his coaching abilities. I simply am trying to reveal the fascinating personality of the man who coaches the 49ers. To me that's worthwhile in itself. I hope you feel that way too.

Most surprising to me is that Singletary and Tim Tebow share a similar story, one that will be revealed during Super Bowl XLIV in an ad that has garnered much controversy. Tebow’s mother, Pam got sick while on a mission trip to the Philippines. Already the mother of four, she ignored a recommendation by her doctor to abort the child.

Cohn's interview revealed that Singletary's mother faced a similar predicament.

Before I was born the doctors really told my mom she should strongly consider having an abortion because Mom was a little older. I think she was close to 40 and had had several miscarriages and they just felt I would have a really tough time being a normal child and having a normal birth. So that was not an option for my mom or my dad and they just prayed and trusted God. It worked out that when I was born I did have some issues, bronchitis and had trouble breathing, pneumonia, in and out of the hospital for maybe the first six, seven years of my life. I remember sleeping in a tent, bubble kind of thing as a kid.

It’s as if the circumstances that surrounded their decisions not to abort have colored Tebow and Singletary’s worlds. Tebow continues to go on mission trips to the Philippines where he tends to the sick.

And the truth of the matter is all these years later, Mike Singletary is not normal. He is the only player in the Pro Football Hall of Fame to have his wife introduce him at the induction ceremony. Furthermore, he is the only father I know who has drafted a mission statement for his family that hangs in the home.

“The Home of Champions” chronicles how the Singletarys are a model of support and how “one night at the dinner table, Mike came up with the idea of creating a family mission statement. The statement still hands in their kitchen. It reads.

This is the home of champions. As Singletarys we will always strive to do our very best in all we do. We will strive to be honest and respect each other’s feelings, property and time. We will always pray for one another, fight for one another and encourage one another. For our trust be not in our home, nor our money or status or knowledge, but in each other, and above all, in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

”That was one of those moments when it hit me that, ‘Wow, this is so different from other people’s families," Kristen Singletary said.

Forty-Niner faithful know of this man’s mission. His m.o. “We want winners” has become the unofficial anthem of a team who longs for another Super Bowl title. But, you can’t look at this man on the field and believe it ends there. Without a doubt, Mike Singletary is different; he is not normal. Yet when Mike Singletary speaks to his players, the fans, and his family, you can’t help but believe he "wants winners" because he is one. Seeing IS believing.

*I would like to thank my student Kelli for passing along the article from the SF Chronicle about Tebow's Pro-Life message.

**I would also like to thank Ted Robinson, ND Grad and now voice of the Niners for sharing the San Jose Mercury News article about the Singletary Family with me.

Photo Credits
HOF
Solo Shot
Bruce