30th Year Reunion Prayer: Help, Thanks, Wow

The Class of 1996 continues to grow more legendary.

When our 25th reunion was canceled because of COVID, we rallied and returned a year later to celebrate together. This year, more than 400 classmates gathered on campus for our 30th reunion. As noted in our official class communique, the efforts of Larissa Herczeg and the class leadership group resulted in "an all-time record attendance for a 30 year class and the most memorable reunion we have had." Here, here!

When I tell others about reunion, they want to know: Don't you have Homecoming? Why attend a reunion? Is it mostly networking? Why hold it in the spring rather than during football season? These are fair questions.

Notre Dame does not have an official Homecoming. In many ways, every football weekend feels like one. Reunions are held when school is not in session because many alumni stay in the dorms—which I have said more than once I will never stay in again...and yet, I know I will. While networking undoubtedly happens, that is not why most of us come back.

I know why I come. Upon returning home, I found the answer on the front of a card I received in the mail while I was away. It says:

Ask yourself what makes you come alive and go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.— Howard Thurman

That is exactly why I have returned to my class reunion in recent years. Time with friends and classmates, walking the campus, sharing stories, laughing about old memories, and creating new ones—these things make me come alive. I suspect the same is true for many of my classmates.

Farley girls. All non-smokers

For one weekend, hundreds of people stepped away from their routines and reconnected with a place and a community that helped shape them. The result was more than nostalgia. It was renewal. So, rather than editorialize my experience or give a (Keenan) review, I thought I would share my highlights in the form of one of my favorite prayers. 

A spiritual writer whose work I return to often, Anne Lamott, has said, "I do not know much about God and prayer, but I have come to believe that there's something to be said about keeping prayer simple: Help. Thanks. Wow." She writes that authentic prayer can be distilled into three simple responses to life:

1. Help — When we are overwhelmed, frightened, confused, or in need, we ask for assistance.
2. Thanks — When we recognize gifts, blessings, or simple goodness, we express gratitude.
3. Wow — When we encounter beauty, mystery, love, or wonder, we respond with awe

Thus, allow me to frame my thoughts about the 2026 reunion and offer them as a prayer. Amen.

Help. 
I wasn't sure if I could or should attend reunion, given that my mom is in hospice. Diagnosed with Stage 3 ovarian cancer in December, my mom's prognosis took a hard turn on Mother's Day. Rather than celebrate my mom, we ended up in the E.R. only to discover her cancer had spread. She came home later than week with hospice care underway.

As a teacher, I love to make travel and adventure plans for summer. My mom has been one of my co-pilots and compatriots in these experiences for years. This year, I am grateful that June and July give me time to be with her and help out. But going to campus was a risk. With cancer, the hospice timeline is unpredictable And yet, my one hope was to be able to return to my spiritual home, Notre Dame for reunion. I asked Our Lady to protect my mom when I was away. She answered my cry for help and my mom is holding on and hanging in there.

What I did not expect from my three days on campus is the help I received from my classmates in the form of empathy and compassion. So many of my peers have already dealt with the challenge of aging and ill parents. Although I don't wish suffering on anyone, it did help to hear the struggles and the graces the moms and dads of my classmates have endured. Perspective. Community. Wisdom. Their offers to pray for my mom and my family, to listen and let me cry provided much more than help, it brought healing. Thank you... which leads to...

One aspect I love about ND is that you often make friends with your classmates after graduation

Thanks.
I arrived at Notre Dame sight unseen in August 1992 (times were different back then). In an effort to save money, my mom brought me to campus, while my dad planned to visit during a home football weekend with my uncle (he may have gotten the better end of that deal!).

I still remember my mom and I not knowing exactly where to go or what to think. We entered through the Stepan gate—not quite the iconic arrival down Notre Dame Avenue and into the Main Circle. However, when I got to Room 213 of Farley Hall, I was delighted to discover that I had a view of the Dome. (That's a "Wow!") My roommate, who had grown up in South Bend, was not impressed.

My mom helped me get settled and then left me to begin my new life. I was homesick. I knew only one other person on campus. Yet I found my way.

Returning 30 years later, I realize that I succeeded academically, socially, and spiritually because my parents believed that I could. Through every challenge and every uncertainty, I knew I had their support.

At our class Mass, Father Joe Carey, C.S.C., encouraged us to thank our parents for the opportunity they gave us to attend Notre Dame. For those whose parents have died, he invited us to share with our siblings what Notre Dame has meant to us. What a beautiful invitation to gratitude.

This mass was made that much more meaningful because it was held in memory of the 27 men and women from our class who have died. We read each name and honored them with a yellow rose. This bouquet was taken to the Grotto as an offering to Our Lady. 

Traditions and rituals like these are what animate the ethos of Notre Dame. I have never taken that for granted. I love that Father Carey noted that the chapel where we gathered—Saint Patrick's chapel inside of Dillon Hall— opened in 1931. Construction was funded in part by revenue from the famous 1925 Rose Bowl team coached by Knute Rockne. The head coach of Notre Dame football, Knute Rockne died on March 31, 1931, just months before the hall opened. This explains why there is a shrine honoring Saint Olaf—the patron Saint of Norway—in remembrance of The Rock, who was born in Voss, Norway. Indeed, Sports and Spirituality is part of that ethos.

The Shrine to Saint Olaf inside of Saint Patrick's Chapel
Dillon Hall

Wow.
Ask anyone of my classmates their favorite part of the weekend and I have a feeling we might offer the same response—being together. Football weekends are incredibly hectic. There is so much packed into a short amount of time and for me, all the hype around, before during and after the game make those visits exhausting. Reunion however runs in a liminal space...a kairotic time. Wow!

The dinners, parties and after parties are tremendous, but I enjoyed the simple pleasure of reconnecting for a meal in North Dining Hall (NDH). Given the amount of time I spent there as an undergrad, this might not be a surprise. But it was at that table and the eucharistic table that we share our authentic selves.

Inside NDH

When it was time to gather for our class photo, the photographer had to keep adding more chairs and benches. Our class smiled as we shared stories e.g. "What P.E. class did you take?" (The best answer came from Aaron V who said he took gymnastics because he thought it would be all girls. It wasn't). At the conclusion of that picture—a snapshot in time—someone started the cheer "Let's go Irish!" It caught fire. We responded. We cheered. We clapped as one. Again, Wow! Wow!

I absolutely loved Garret Gray's Improv show: "Cheer, Cheer for Main Stage Improv," reconnoitering with members of ACE 3, and taking over Legends once again. I don't know how or when my class became so awesome. We know who we are and appreciate each other. We know that we are part of something special...and for that I can only say "Thanks" and "Wow."

Why go to reunion? Sure, it's the beer tent and closing down the Backer. But, it's fortified by continued learning in sessions like. the University Leaders' Forum—a conversation between Irish Athletic Director Pete Bevacqua '93 and Alumni Director, Dolly Duffy '84, participating in the Notre Dame Women Connect retreat and even meeting up with Father John Jenkins, C.S.C. in his President Emeritus office before walking to the all class mass (I got to know him thanks to my time in ACE). I hope my prayer spoke to a gathering that IS a homecoming. It is networking in its most basic form. And yes, we will have smaller ones during the football season.

I watched the movie Song, Sung Blue on my flight out to South Bend. My favorite moment in the film is when Eddie Vedder invites Lighting and Thunder to open for him. He joins them on stage to sing "Forever in Blue Jeans." I can't help but think that message of that song underscores what I found at my 30th reunion: love, companionship and joy in the simple memories of the past and new ones of this past weekend. So helpful. So grateful. Amazing.

Photo Credits
None! All taken between June 5-7

From the Locker Room to Commencement: What the Words of Tom Brady Reveal To Me

I just completed my 27th year of teaching—move over, LeBron—and my 20th at St. Ignatius College Prep. People often ask me what the biggest change I've seen in students over the years has been. Most assume they already know the answer, and there is some truth in their assumptions. But my answer may differ from that of many educators. And, listening to Tom Brady's commencement address at Georgetown's McDonough School of Business only reinforced my thinking. Watch it. Give it a listen and let me know what you think—or keep reading and let's talk.

For some context, many in my department will suggest that teaching Religious Studies feels increasingly more like teaching a foreign language. While recent news has highlighted a rise in Mass attendance among young Americans, especially those between 18 and 29, my experience in the classroom suggests another reality: each year, many students arrive in theology class with less religious formation, less catechesis, and fewer encounters with the life of faith. But sadly, this has always been the case for me and my experience. 

Ask most educators what has changed, and they will point to social media, the proliferation of smartphones, and the ubiquity of iPads and personal computers as the chief drivers of change among today's students. There is certainly truth in that assessment. Each technology offers its own powerful distractions, and the intended and unintended consequences are evident: shorter attention spans and increased difficulty sustaining focus. Students do not read the way they once did. I've said it myself—there are books I once taught with confidence that would be far more difficult to teach today. Indeed, every era has its challenges, and the newest—and perhaps most consequential—is unfolding as I type this: how to use A.I. in the classroom.

Yet none of these developments capture my sentiment on change. I suppose it is because the shift I have noticed is not technological but cultural. It is revealed in both formal and informal settings. Social scientists would note it is reflected in both high and low culture. To me, one of the bigger changes in my time teaching is the widespread acceptance and use of profanity.

Is the "F" necessary?!

That is why Tom Brady's commencement address caught my attention. I was not surprised that Georgetown invited him to speak. He is, after all, one of the most accomplished athletes of his generation. I was, however, surprised by how casually he employed profanity throughout his remarks. Early on he quips, "I had a coach for 20 years tell me how sh***y I was every day." Sports fans know that Bill Belichick could be demanding, but I was not expecting that language in a commencement address delivered before graduates, parents, faculty, and administrators from the get go. But that example is soft.

Brady's broader message is actually quite traditional: embrace hard things, develop resilience, and never quit. The profanity appears sparingly and serves to make his stories sound less scripted and more like the language athletes often use in competitive settings. In fact he even uses that as an excuse for what caught me most by surprise. 

His recollection of Super Bowl LI was riveting. I loved the way he played with the percentages. I kept thinking what we all thought in 2017: What though the odds...?! Brady lets us in on his inner monologue as he leads his team back from a 28-3 deficit. He tells himself "Don't be a little b****. Go out there and fight your ass off." Had I been in that audience, I would have looked at the reaction of others. Would anyone else question the word choice? It's honest. It's raw. It's authentic, but is it appropriate in this setting? He does offer a disclaimer, "I was an athlete, so you might feel like you're in a locker room a little bit." But graduation is a far cry from a locker room.

I could be wrong, but twenty years ago, the language might have overshadowed the message. Today, I can't help but wonder if it only registers with me because of the household I grew up in. Movies could be rated "R" because of language alone. I wasn't allowed to see them. Today, I hear it on the radio, it is common in our student fine arts productions, such as plays, musicals and our comedy show. That, more than the profanity itself, is what I find noteworthy.

My students will drop swear words into class discussion. Sometimes, they will self correct and other times I do that for them. While I rarely see it in their essays or writing, it is part of their music and social media.But, I hear profanity the most is in the hallways and among casual conversations. SI is next to a public middle school. I hear sixth graders through seniors use it without any regard to those around them. For example, my office sits at a crossroads where students sit and walk by during passing periods. Not a week goes by when and where either my colleague or I have to confront a student about their language. The unapologetic use of the "F" word—as a adjective and a verb is prolific. I've been told that it is the akin to how the word "damn it" was used in the past. Not okay.

Sometimes people will say, "Wow, at a Catholic school—your students speak like this?" While I appreciate the notion that we hold our students to a high standard—and we do—profanity is woven throughout our culture. It is part of our common lexicon, whether I like it or not.

When I hear it at SI, I do make an effort to address it. We have expectations for young people regarding how they conduct themselves, what they wear, and the words they choose. Language has power. It shapes both the speaker and the listener in ways seen and unseen and we are a community that seeks to share common values. Respect is one of them.

Is there a time and a place for strong language? Perhaps. I'm not going to pretend like I don't use it in my own life. I have dropped F-bombs on the golf course and at sporting events. I've used foul language in front of my friend's children. I don't use it in class, but I would be lying if I said it has never slipped out. Indeed, there are certainly moments of intense emotion, frustration, pain, humor, or camaraderie when people will argue that it serves a purpose. My concern is not with the occasional exception. It is with the disappearance of the distinction. When language once reserved for exceptional moments, becomes commonplace, something is lost. Words matter because they are not all the same and that is why we invite exceptional people, icons of excellence to share their own. I would like for the language we use to reflect that. Let's go...

NB: I've read reports on the psychological effects of foul language. It's interesting because the findings do not show that profanity is simply harmful or simply harmless. Rather, it appears to have several psychological effects that depend heavily on context. I still don't want it at Commencement

Photo Credits
Georgetown
LFG
ATL