Friendships From Sports: Another Jewel of Life

The words of  Jessie Owens resonate with my life's story. The four-time 1936 Olympic champion said, "Friendships born on the field of athletic strife are the real gold of competition. Awards become corroded, friends gather no dust." 

I met two of my closest friends on the Carondelet High School tennis team. One was my favorite doubles partner and the other came back from a 7-0 deficit to beat me during freshman year tryouts, 9-7 in the 8-game pro-set. I haven't played tennis with or against either of these women in over 25 years, and yet their friendship means more to me than ever.

I continue to make friends—new ones, good ones, even wild ones through sports. The game of golf has introduced me to women and men, young and old from a variety of backgrounds, careers and much more. Truly, my life is so much richer because of the time we spend together playing what is much more than "just a game."  Indeed, through the shared pursuit of something challenging, competitive. and fun that those relationships are strengthened and sustained. Sport really is the gift that keeps on giving.

I love the fact professional sports celebrates the friendships that are born from being teammates. For example, the long waited return of Klay Thompson (941 days to be exact) wasn't the only story that caught the media's attention. Prior to tip-off, this Splash Brother was greeted with a hug by his little league teammate, Kevin Love. As written on SFGate

The intertwining paths of Klay Thompson and Kevin Love trace back to a baseball field in a Portland, Ore., suburb.

Long before the NBA All-Stars faced each other on their current sport’s biggest stage, they shared a Little League team. Thompson was the speedy leadoff hitter, Love the hard-throwing pitcher. Even then, while playing a sport that won’t figure in their legacy, the preteens recognized in one another the potential for greatness.

But a few hours earlier, the highest profile position for the Rams was working to secure another victory for a Los Angeles team. Matt Stafford, the team's quarterback grew up with a man who knows what those expectations and that pressure feels like. The Dodgers long time ace, Clayton Kershaw has called Stafford a teammate and friend since they were six years old.

Stafford watches Kershaw pitch at Dodger Stadium. #support

In fact, as written in The Bleacher Report

They played on the same youth soccer, baseball, football and basketball teams together. They played freshmen football and two years of varsity baseball together and both graduated from Highland Park High School in 2006 after dominant final seasons. Kershaw compiled a 13-0 record with an ERA of 0.77. In a five-inning mercy-rule game, he struck out all 15 batters.

These two examples, on one of the more exciting sports Sundays, got me thinking about other friendships born from youth or high school sports. I know that many collegiate and professional athletes consider their teammates to be like friends and in some cases, like family. But what of those born from those formative years. 

Andy Roddick and Drew Brees both are long time friends and former teammates. As written by the 2003 US Open Champion:

“Yes Drew Brees beat me in tennis when I was 9 and he was 11. Twice,” Roddick wrote on Twitter back in 2014. “I finally beat him and he quit tennis. You’re welcome football.”

What other former teammates/friends come to mind?

Reflecting upon these types of connections, got me thinking. Can you name two women that became friends through sport? I could not.  The first example that came to mind was Venus and Serena Williams. I gave myself a half point of credit, as they siblings. However, I genuinely think the two sisters—born just 15 months apart—have an affection for one another that is akin to the best of friends. Please share names of female athletes if you know any. They ought to be publicized too!

And while we are at it—what about male and female friendships. I knew that Jerian Grant and Jewell Lloyd became friends at the University of Notre Dame thanks to shared space. In the time between the men's and women's practices, the two would shoot around and engage in a friendly, yet competitive game of H.O.R.S.E.  All-Americans, Player of the year candidates, and now...friends. Go IRISH.

I believe every person should have a number of quotes, prayers and mottos memorized by heart. One of mine is by the late author and activist, Elie Wiesel. He wrote "friends are the jewel of life." Thank you sports, for bringing many jewels, many colors, shapes and sizes. Shine brightly.

Photo Credits
Drew and Andy
Venus and Serena
Klay and Love
Matt Stafford

The Sports Hangover....of a different kind

All week, I suffered from a mini-hangover. It lingered. It came and went at a varying intensity. I didn't get this hangover from too much wine or champagne, or even vodka on the rocks. No, this hangover was different. Though I wasn't physically sick, I can't deny it was there. Sports fans might understand; I know many athletes do.

The 2019 men's final at Wimbledon was truly one of the ages, an instant classic. But, I couldn't let go of the outcome. As I recalled the match with friends, I couldn't help but feel bummed—for a lack of a better word. The 37-year old number two player in the world, Roger Federer didn't lose a single game. He did, however, lose the match. Staving off two match points—his opponent—Novak Djokovic beat him in three tie breaks in five sets. As much as I felt the loss—that ache, I wondered What it must feel like for the athlete, for their spouse, their coach, "team" and friends? Hungover, but in a different kind of way, is my guess.

I have read about said hangovers before. In the movie "Venus and Serena" Venus Williams, a five time Wimbledon champion admitted that after she lost, she didn't get out of bed for a week. Phil Mickelson has as much before, too. It wasn't after his fatal fall at the 2006 US Open at Winged Foot. According to Golf News.Net 

The reigning (British) Open champion had what he described was his best chance to finally capture the elusive U.S. Open in June. Instead, he came up short against Justin Rose, posting a sixth second-place finish in the championship -- only adding to a record no one wants to own. 

In an appearance on 'Today" on NBC,  Mickelson said, "My worst, hardest loss of my career was the U.S. Open just a month ago. For days, I didn’t get out of bed; I was tired." 

Once again, however, it was Mickelson's family that helped pulled him out of the funk. 

"It was a trip that we had to Montana that kind of got me out of my funk and I realized that I’m playing great golf, and I can’t let one loss affect the rest of my year," he said.

Fortunately for Fed, the circumstances are slightly different. There is no Grand Slam out of his reach. With eight single's championships, he is not only the winningest man in Wimbledon history, he has twelve others, 20 major championships in all. But what made this win so desirable is to see what we don't often see in a sport like tennis. The great enemy of every athlete is age. Fed responded to that truth by smiling and sharing "I hope I give some other people a chance to believe that at 37, it's not over yet." It does. And BTW: The Maestro will be 38 when he plays the fourth and final Grand Slam of the year, the US Open.

I think it is important to feel these hangovers and to let them linger. That storm cloud may need to rain for one day, or maybe for three. But it's not a condition or characteristic of today's athletes alone. In the film 'Hogan: Perseverance" Bantam Ben Hogan admitted his struggle in defeat. 

On the 71st hole of the 1960 US Open at Cherry Hills Country Club, in Denver CO, Hogan hit a wedge loaded with backspin that went into the water, essentially ending what was another bid for a fifth championship title. He said, "I find myself walking up at night thinking of that shot. Right today. How many years has that been? That's been 23 years ago and there isn't a month that goes by that that doesn't cut my guts out." Wow. 

I don't know what Fed will say weeks, months or even years after the loss. Business Insider wrote,

After the match, Federer was graceful in defeat, joking with the crowd while speaking in his post-match interview. Federer was congratulated for his brilliant performance, with BBC presenter and former Grand Slam champion Sue Barker saying it was a final we would "remember forever."

"I will try to forget," Federer replied, earning laughs and cheers from the crowd.

I'm not sure he will...or I will. I do not believe that a person is strange or selfish, if they are depressed or down after a loss. Why? These contests and competitions are great because we see humanity at its best. We see men and women giving everything—physically, emotionally and spiritually. They literally having nothing left in the tank. Their cup cannot runneth over, that is, unless it's spiked with adrenaline. 

Family, friends and fans can't expect to see one face of greatness—the joy, exuberance and triumph without realizing there might be another. 

The fortnight of Wimbledon is a special time of year. New wine was poured into both new and old wineskins. We drank it all. In spite of the "other" type of hangover, I'd do it again. Thank you Fed. Congratulations Joker!

Photo Credits
Heart on hand
Loss at Merion
Staying Positive
Tough Loss

Most Inspiring Female Athlete: Venus Williams

They say you can't be what you can't see. Another way of saying this might be "you can be what you can see." The first round of the 2019 Wimbledon tennis tournament revealed this truth and and much more as the 15-year-old Cori "Coco" Gauff beat Venus Williams in straight sets.

Gauff's victory makes her the youngest player to win a match at Wimbledon since 1991. Williams is the oldest female in the tourney; she will stay at the All-England Lawn Tennis Club to watch her sister Serena play singles and mixed doubles with Andy Murray. I was disappointed that Venus and Serena, who have won 14 doubles titles together will not play in the women's division. 

Venus, a five-time Wimbledon champion won four Grand Slam titles, including two at Wimbledon before Gauff was born. 

Gauff said "I wouldn't be here if it weren't for her. She is so inspiring and I've always wanted to tell her that." Her chance came when they shook hands at the net after the match.  From the look on each of their faces, it's safe to say that feeling might be mutual.

If a female tennis player is to serve as a young athlete's inspiration, I'm not sure I can make a stronger argument for anyone in today's game other than Venus Williams. Teaching about her life in my Ethics, Morality and Justice course through the Nine for IX video "Venus Vs." and the resources available through ESPN W this year was a true highlight. My students, both male and female felt the same way. Here is one student's impressive summary of what he learned:

Throughout the late 1990’s and early 2000’s, Venus Williams and her sister Serena were among the most popular and dominant female tennis players in the world. Both won major tournaments, braced magazine covers, and received massive endorsement deals from companies such as Gatorade and Nike. However, Venus Williams’s biggest achievement did not come on the grounds of Wimbledon or the US Open. Instead, Venus’s biggest victory came in her battle against the wage gap, as Venus, along with help from the WTA and other female players, finally gained equal pay for the 2007 Wimbledon tournament.  

Equal pay, or the desire for it, is the central issue of this case of social justice. Our society has (and still does) struggle with equal pay between men and women, as men have consistently made more than 20% more than their female counterparts over decades in American society, and beyond.  

In this case, Williams saw that although the television packages and ticket sales grossed the same amount of money for both men and women, men received more prize money at Wimbledon. Other tennis tournaments such as the US and Australian Opens paid women the same amount of prize many stretching back decades, yet Wimbledon, The Masters of tennis (definitely not trying to appeal to you), refused to pay women the same prize money. 

Venus Williams’s story has also inspired me to watch WNBA basketball this summer while the Nationals sit deep below .500, as WNBA athletes also face a similar financial struggle to Venus. Venus’s story can be translated into the stories of women around the world who fail to see equal pay for the work they put in daily.

What an excellent reflection upon a social justice issue and the role that Venus Williams played in advancing the cause. For three young women, she was named the person they enjoyed learning about the most! Here is what they wrote:

My favorite person we studied this year was Venus Williams because of her inspiring efforts regarding women’s equality in sports. I thought Venus’s story was especially inspirational because, despite the racial discrimination she already had to face in her career, she continued to fight to make a voice for women’s tennis and demand the equal pay women deserve –– even if it meant sacrificing her reputation. I believe that all people have the responsibility to fight for their beliefs regarding gender equity, but only some people will have the courage to do so –– and Venus Williams is the perfect example of a leader who is willing to take action to achieve what is truly right.

The person I found most influential in understanding myself again this year was Venus Williams. The film Venus Versus film did not only tie into race and equality but tied into my favorite part of the year Jan Term. Through this class, I found how passionate I am about women's athletics and female athletes. Before this class, I knew what title IX was but that was it I didn't know any statistics, how unequal women are still treated. After watching Venus struggle it fueled my fire even further, her perseverance and persistence does not only make her a great athlete but an amazing person.  I find Venus as in inspiration as a face for the movement of women's sports equality. Venus has even gone as far as inspiring me to possibly pursue a further investigation into this cause and maybe one day even properly join the movement. ;)

My favorite person we studied this year was Venus Williams in our studies about sexuality and culture. Tennis has been a huge part of my family as nearly everyone on my mother’s side has played. I have grown up watching the William sisters for as long as I can remember, and I appreciate learning more in depth about their impact on prize money equality and on changing the face of tennis.  

I believe the Williams sisters share an important ideal of fighting for what you believe in. Throughout their lives, the Williams sisters overcame adversity and made great strides toward eliminating the prize money gap at Wimbledon. The Williams sisters also share the lesson of representation. Two strong black women dominating the typically white and proper country club sport, give inspiration and encouragement to many young aspiring athletes. I believe their story is important because, today the wage gap still exists, and their effort encourages all women despite race and socioeconomic backgrounds to take a stand and make efforts toward gender equality.

I have always said that Serena Williams is my favorite female athlete. However, since teaching about Venus Williams, I now think I do not have one, but two. I admire and respect the Williams sisters for different and overlapping reasons. While I love Serena's style of play, I value Venus' with a new eye. To see her congratulating Coco Gauff at the net was to witness sportsmanship at its best. Time and again, Venus Williams has offered that to fans with her game, her plight and her victories on and off the court. Women's tennis won, yesterday. Congratulations all around.

Photo Credits
Venus and Coco
Champs
Interview Photo

The Men and Women of Sports and Spirituality: Who My Students Meet

On the first day class for seniors enrolled in Sports and Spirituality—an elective course for seniors at St. Ignatius, I assure my students that we will not spend six months on this:

In case you can't read this, it says "Sports & Spirituality: Not just athletes pointing to the sky

I love that one of my students had the good humor and understanding to affirm that what we read, discuss and learn is much more than the gestures/rituals we see on display in sports. 

So what then, is the curriculum? What do we study? What are the learning outcomes? I'll leave that for my syllabus and course reader (available upon request). Instead, I would like to honor the men and women my students "meet" as a result of the course work. These are the athletes who make an impression on them for much more than their strength, fitness, achievements, contracts, championships, and so forth. The athletes featured here are the ones my students have singled out as individuals they are "glad to have met." While some stars are familiar to them—Serena Williams and J.J. Watt, others are new—Haley Scott DeMaria and Jake Olson. Meeting them, in this course, however means they are examined in a new way, with a new vision and speaking a new language. The way that Sports and Spirituality asks us to see and speak.

I have articles or video clips posted beneath most photos so you can share in the learning!

Jill Costello: Featured in the SI's 60th Anniversary Issue, The Courage of Jill Costello won an award for "Most Outstanding Story" at the 13th Annual Luce Awards. I was Jill's novice crew coach; she graduated from SI in 2006. She lives on in the memory and hearts of so many.

Jake Olson: I first "met" Jake through "Sports in the News" a presentation that asks students to choose what is happening in the wide world of sports that they want to teach the class and discuss. I have loved following Jake's story and success at USC. There is no shortage of video documenting this man's incredible journey.

James Conner: This year's addition to "Sports in the News" I'm not convinced Conner wasn't on this presenters' fantasy football team. However, this assignment and even mentioning fantasy football is reflective of the Ignatian Pedagogical Paradigm. The IPP is, in short, how teachers are called to teach at Jesuit schools. The very first step is a call for Context: 

• Understand the world of our students, including the ways in which family, friends, social pressures, politics, economies, media and other realities impact them. 
• Love them, love what they love…love what you teach. 

Fantasy Football is a viable way to enter in the world of a high school student. Knowledge of James Conner can only add to that.

JJ Watt: At the conclusion of the course, I ask students who is someone they wish they had "met" in class. Two years ago, one bright and visionary student mentioned JJ Watt. I knew she was right.....and then Hurricane Harvey happened but a few months later. What he did for the people of Houston earned him the title of "The Patron Saint of Houston" as well as Co-Sportsman of the Year. I am not the least bit surprised so many students enjoyed learning more about the Texans Defensive end. Talk about fun to teach...

Bethany Hamilton: I can't quite put my finger on it, but boys and girls—no matter what sport they play—are interested the story of this Soul Surfer. Maybe it's because the movie was released when they were at an impressionable age (2011). Regardless, she is unapologetic for her faith and not one student seems to challenge her words or rebuff her devotion.

Serena and Venus Williams: It is an honor, a privilege and a delight to teach about the Williams sisters. Race, gender, excellence, ascesis, soul force, equality and justice, fashion and flare, sisterhood, motherhood...the list of themes goes on. I use "Venus and Serena," a video recommended by a former student (thank you, Sydney!) and will be showing "Venus vs" in my Ethics class in January.

Haley Scott DeMaria: Our 80-minute class periods begin with what I call "the Silent 10." Students read a Sports and Spirituality book of their choice, in silence for you guessed it, ten minutes. One student picked from my S&S library. I had no idea if "What Though the Odds" would resonate with her, as its the story of a swimmer who experienced hardship and tragedy and found hope and healing through her teammates and the larger Notre Dame family. She was so inspired by DeMaria's message and her story that she said it ought to be required reading for the course. What a gift....and it became one that kept on giving. Haley actually came to SI to speak to my class and followed up our time together with a Skype session. Still amazed that all of that happened....

The Fordson Football Team: A colleague asked in the faculty room just the other day, Where do must Muslims live in the United States. I was able to provide an answer right away, thanks to this documentary. The largest Arabic speaking population can be found in Dearborn, Michigan. Their religious and cultural practices are tightly bound, as evidenced in this documentary. My students love learning about a community that is unfamiliar to them through something  as familiar as....football.

Bo Jackson: The final unit of the course is "Story, Saints and Sportsmen and Sportswomen." One of the essential questions is What is the relationship between story and spirituality? I dare say Bo Jackson is essential to answering this question. After all, the "30 for 30 You Don't Know Bo" is subtitled "The Legend of Bo Jackson." The legend lives on...and looms large.

Eric Liddell: Teaching about the Muscular Christian is a non-negotiable. I have his beautiful words: I believe God made me for a purpose. He made me fast. And when I run, I feel his pleasure and a personal connection to him in my life to thank for the gift of this course. His story, his witness is the gift that keeps on giving.

“We might not have the same gift as others, or the same success,
but we are asked to make an effort with what we have been given.” - Running for God

I am hoping to offer Sports and Spirituality as an evening course for parents in Spring 2019. It is exciting to me to share these life stories with adults and gain from the own collection of beloved athletes, spiritual heroes and saints.

Photo Credits

Back to School Made Easier: Thank God for the US Open

Thank God for the US Open. The final and my favorite of the four majors in professional tennis takes place in Queens, NY at the United States Tennis Center im late August, early September. I come home from work so tired that the only thing I can do is lie on my couch, ice my back and not move. I could easily complain but instead, I get to watch live tennis. And what a treat that is: the matches go so late in New York, that even after Back to School Night, an exhilarating match awaits. 

I once thought part of what I loved about watching the Open is seeing someone else work really hard and battle it out, especially because I can't. But, that's not even a half truth. Several times this year, as in years past, matches have gotten hot—really hot...and intense...and suddenly the game demands things of me I have too little energy to give, but I always do. I yell. I hit the table. I whistle and cat call. I text anyone who can and will listen and respond. I clap and tonight when Juan del Potro was invited to address the crowd in Spanish, his native tongue, I even teared up.  That's the Open (and Tom Rinaldi. So good).

I have likened the beginning of the school year to getting a plane off the ground. A considerable amount of preparation is necessary to leave the gate on time. All precautionary safety measures must be taken so that the crew can close the doors as we are ready for departure. Once the wheels have been lifted, the plane must climb rapidly and the goal is to reach cruising altitude within a set amount of time. From there, the crew can settle in,. Those in charge are on auto-pilot and know what to overlook and control until it's time to descend the plane for landing.

Honestly, teaching is no different. My classes require similar preparation.Every day I feel as though I am reviewing some form of a plan to get the class up and running: syllabus, ground rules, homework policy, participation guide and more. With each passing day, my students grow more comfortable and familiar with the cabin pressure. This plane will begin its descent for landing in May. Layover in December!

When I learned how much energy it takes to get a plane off the ground, I almost felt relieved. I say this because it used to bother me how tired I was in late August, early September. Sure, my plane is a 747; I also coach a fall sport. I haven't had to make cuts in a few years and that task is always challenging. I only finalized my roster today. But I figured after these many years in teaching, the plane had to be lighter and the burden lessened. The flight path ought to be much more clear. Why the need for the same amount of fuel? Wrong question. Errant approach.  

My love for the US Open has helped me to realize how much I value the physical demands of teaching and coaching. I am heartened by the fact that standing, instructing, leading and guiding wears me out. No, I don't use a towel to dry off the sweat but I do have time to sit during a changeover. Yes, I marvel at the players who take the match into the fifth set or win the tie breaker. I look at them and hope I dig as deep and remain calm. I want to give my best when challenges arise and figure a way to excel.   

In sports we see what is required of the body; in education, we know what is expected of the mind. Neither is complete without the integration of it all. Thanks to organizers of the US Open, the USTA, for hosting a Rock n Roll Tourney. And all the gratitude in the world to the athletes themselves who make me love, not dread, Back to School. I can't wait to talk to kids tomorrow about the four US women in the final and the del Potro vs. Federer match. You are great teachers!

Photo Credits
Fed US Open 2017
Four US Women
del Potro

Sports Stories Surprise Us

Though I cannot tell who reads Sports and Spirituality, I can determine how many unique views each entry has gotten. I can also ascertain where my audience lives, but only by continent. My second most popular posting hails from one continent—the Land of Oz. Much to my surprise, the January 26, 2011 blog Australia Day + Australian Open = A G'Day has been read by 10,000 people. I'd love to know how many of those readers live Down Under. I'd also like to know why that story has proven to be so popular. I've been wrong about sports stories before, and as my blog has proven, I will be wrong about them again. 

In the last month, "Catholics v. Convicts: The Story Behind ESPN's Shirt of the Century" surpassed my tribute to the National Day of Australia with over 12,000 unique views. More people took to ESPN's 30 for 30: Catholic vs. Convicts than I ever thought possible. My sense was that the story would only interest those who loved the once storied Miami vs. Notre Dame rivalry. I figured most sports fans would deem this tale as one that is no longer relevant. Boy, was I wrong. I've had more people stop me to tell me how much they enjoyed everything about the ESPN film, including many of my own students, who—honestly—have never been required to watch it for credit or for extra credit (ok maybe). And my first blog posting on this topic is now my most popular entry of all time.

I have always loved writing about the Williams Sisters. Their story of their lives speaks for itself; remarkable content and the very fact that I am still able to write about them—their on-going success and outstanding careers is a blessing. This year's women's final gives me yet again another opportunity to enjoy tennis' two greatest siblings. As written by the BBC, "It would also be a seventh Australian Open victory for the younger Williams sister, while Venus hopes to win an eighth major title, first in  Melbourne and first since Wimbledon 2008." This is already a great feat, but the casual observer should know that Serena and Venus are the second and thirteenth seeds, both women are in their mid 30s, and should Serena win she would earn her 23rd grand slam title. Her older sister by 18 months seeks to write her own tale. The Aussie sports commentator told Serena (after she defeated Johanna Konta), "We love you here in Australia. You've won a lot and we hope you will win some more!!!"  

But on this 230th Australia Day, I would like to raise a glass to a country so many Americans love with the same affection extended on Center Court to America's greatest female athlete. It is much more than a home to the best accent in the English language...rather, it is a country, a people, and a culture that has given both sports and spirituality, some of its greatest content, stories, champions, cheers and mates. A place and a people I never get tired of writing about...or that you deem unworthy of reading. No surprise there!

• I Am Adam Scott, April 17, 2013
• The Land of Oz: One Masters Champion and One Catholic Saint, April 9, 2016
• Persevere Mates, Persevere: The Message of Father Miscamble and Jason Day, November 17, 2015 
• It's Shark Week....A Tribute to Greg Norman, August 13, 2014
• My Favorite Award: Defensive Player of the Year, April 24, 2016

Photo Credits
Australia Day
Pat Cash
Sisters in the Final

I Still Pray with My Legs: 8 Lessons from ARVD

Since 2010 I am reminded of something on this day: I am bionic. That should make me feel badass...superhuman...even futuristic? Instead, it is one of the greatest sources of humility in my life (I have several!). I'd like to say that my ICD reminds me of my humanity and my limitations, but the irony is that the very thing it's connected to, my heart reminds me of that truth just as often. The Creator knew what He was doing when he tied literal and metaphorical matters into the same organ.

This is me. It's scary to think too much about, but it's pretty cool too.

In the six years since my diagnosis of ARVD, I have had to let go of many things but I have gained others. Some of the greatest gifts I still hold were given to me at the hardest time—when I was diagnosed and implanted. So in honor of that miracle—and it is one—here are the lessons I learned from an eight day stay at CPMC hospital. There's one for each day.

1. The Miracle is Diagnosis
I show the documentary "Venus and Serena" in Sports and Spirituality every semester; it is utterly captivating. I've written about it many times and I have given the DVD to about three different friends. The unsuspecting viewer is in for much more than a film featuring the triumph of two black sisters from Compton, CA and the success they never should have had. No, it rounds out these two great athletes: they are fashoinistas, shrewd business women; they are best friends and they have had their fair share of injuries and health concerns. 

In addition to various injuries, in the mid-2000s Venus was forced to withdraw from many tournaments due to incessant fatigue, joint pain and what she believed to be a viral illness. Fortunately for Venus, her doctor was able to determine she has an autoimmune disease known as Sjogren's syndrome. 

As I watched this part of her story unfold, I said to myself "the miracle is diagnosis." I don't know if I made that up or learned it from someone, but I consider it a poignant truth. By changing her diet dramatically and adapting a "new normal," Venus was able to return to the tour again.

Once you know what you have, you can work with it. You learn what you can and can't do...or more realistically what you should and shouldn't do. You know how to proceed. I lived with uncertainly for nearly five years about my heart health. I used to joke that I didn't want to be one of those people who dies on the golf course. The sad and scary truth is that I could have been. Once you know you cannot not know. I implore anyone who has questions about their health to work with their physician and others to get answers. #MiracleDX

2. I believe in the Communion of saints
The communion of saints one of my favorite topics to write about only because I have seen saints at work so often in my life. June 22, 2010 is one of those times. Before I went on that fateful run that sent me into cardiac arrest, I went for a brief walk that took me past what was my grandparents' home at 35 Ashbury Street. I hadn't done that in years; I called my mom to tell her where I was and we discussed a few of our memories from their home. Less than 30 minutes later I was in an ambulance heading to the ICU. I will never be able to prove it as true, but I believe my Grandma was with me that day. 

As my heart rate climbed to 275, I stayed calm. I determined I should call 911 at the right time. Cyclists with cell phones passed me at that moment and stayed with me until the EMT arrived on the scene. You can call it luck, but I see my grandma's hand in all of this. 

one of my favorite photos of my mom and grandma

Jim Heft writes, through belief in the Communion of saints, we recognize that "Even though people die, we stay in touch with them and they with us. How is this possible? It is possible through Baptism by which we enter into the death and resurrection of Jesus. Even though Jesus died, he rose from the dead, remaining even more present than when he was on earth to all who believed in him. We live in Christ. Those who have died believing in Christ remain alive in him.Therefore, whether dead or alive, we are connected in love. So when your grandmother who loved you very much dies, we believe that she now continues in heaven to love who she loved on earth, but with much greater intensity and depth and selflessness."

My grandma believed in Christ. She loved God and loved her family—especially my mom. Though she died long ago, her love remains. And St. Ignatius has said "love is shown in deeds more than in words." My greatest memories of my grandma are those of her great love in action—playing cards with me and letting me win, teaching me how to make pie crust from scratch, singing Irish folk songs and more. On this day, she was working in ways I can't explain.

3. Just Show Up

One of the corporal works of mercy is to "Visit the Sick." I understand why. When your health is compromised, you are viscerally hungry for love and friendship. I remember taking to the kindness of certain nurses as though it were a drug and when friends came, so did a litany of distractions, laughs, questions, stories, gifts, treats and more. I still remember what some friends brought with them, like magazines I never would have purchased for myself, but enjoyed reading. Thank you Kealy for purchasing that issue of Vanity Fair. It's sad to say, but the transgressions of Tiger Woods passed a good chunk of time quite quickly. Or, if you know me, you know I'm a big believer in banana bread. Who knew it was my most welcome post-surgery meal? Thanks Betsy! When my family showed up, I remember I could be myself. I didn't have to talk. I could be testy or unpleasant, happy or sad. I didn't have to put on a face of courage or of fear. You never forget those who "Just Show Up" when you are sick.

4. Stay with Me
I can't hear the 2014 Pop hit "Stay with Me" and NOT think of the late SportsCenter host, Stuart Scott. Though Sam Smith's monster hit was overplayed on the radio, it aptly served as the background of Scott's biopic at the 2014 ESPY awards.

Those same words also remind me of a choice my mom made and didn't think twice about. I went in for surgery at 8:00 a.m. and the surgery lasted seven hours. I was transported back to my room and when I woke up, I saw my Mom sitting there and looking at me. I had no idea how much her presence would mean to me. The night before, I told my dad not to come; he and my mom didn't both need to be there. I figured I would come out of the surgery and be fine by my lonesome. To see my mom, smiling and at peace that I came out okay made my heart swell.

It's one thing to show up, it's another to stay. Thanks Mom.

5. You'll never be lonely with a good book
In 1983, we visited our family in Ireland where my appendix decided to rupture and remain as medical waste on the Emerald Isle. It couldn't have been fun for my brother and sister to have their nine-year old sister in the hospital for five days. I'm not sure how my parents managed it all, but they did. When everyone left to return to the Bed and Breakfast at night, I remember feeling a little bit lonely and scared, but not entirely so. And that's because I had a picture book of kittens. 

I was reminded of that book when my nine-year old niece Grace saw a poster of those furry cuties and yelled out "KITTENS!" with glee. I was transported back to that time and place when I felt comforted by something as simple as a good book, even if it's a picture book.

Laura Bush who is an only child said she never felt depressed or lonely growing up because she loves to read. Her words have stayed with me because I think they are true. I don't know if I already had it or if a friend brought it (Skol?) but I read John Daly's autobiography "My Life in and Out of the Rough" from start to finish. Eight days at CPMC hospital and I'm happy to report, it was hard to feel lonely with a big guy, big personality like JD and all the other magazines and articles friends brought. It nourished my mind and my heart. 

6. Stories nourish us

Any extended stay in an unwanted place is likely to build character, teach virtue and test one's humanity. But I also think it will yield a fair share of good stories. My stint in the hospital prompted good ones and sad ones. Regardless, they are mine to tell.

One the hardest stories I hold is about Jill Costello, a young woman I worked with coaching novice crew at St, Ignatius. Jill died the night before I was scheduled to have my surgery. I can't forget the e-mail our Father president wrote about her passing. I read it alone in my room, praying with the image of Jill in her mother's arms when I was interrupted by an unwelcome surprise. A nurse asked me to sign waivers about the implantation of my ICD, informing me of the risks involved with it. I didn't think I would need an ICD. I was hoping for an ablation and a quick procedure. The doctors knew much more.

Jill's death gave me the grace to accept a new life. She has given thousands of people thousands of gifts. For many with battle lung cancer, she has given an important face to a disease that is riddled with stigma (due to cigarette smoking. Jill was a non-smoker). I still feel connected to Jill in a profound way. She left me a grace—to live as she did, even though she no longer could (see Communion of saints).  I share her story with all of my students today. I know it is one of the most important ones that they hear. 

And there are countless others. I think of the $1000 ambulance ride from St. Mary's hospital to CPMC. I shared what was essentially a very expensive taxi ride with my good friend and colleague Naj. We both thought the EMTs were adorable (one was a lefty!) and they got a big kick out of us too. After they left us, Naj said "you know they think we are together." I'm sure she's right; I'll take that as a compliment ;-)

And my favorite story comes from....

7. Champions come from the heart
I can't wait to watch the "30 for 30" about John Daly that should be released soon. I already know a lot of what it will share. I'm didn't know what someone could be addicted to M&Ms among 10 other addictions he holds. Regardless, the a theme from his autobiography also served as the title of my reflection about my diagnosis in 2010. I'll let those words speak for what I learned six years ago and those I've posted today affirm many of those sentiments.

8. I still pray with my legs
Rabbi Abraham Heschel has written "I pray with my legs as I walk." I always prayed as I ran, when I ran. The two were one in the same. Today it's different, and it's still hard to believe that it's something I no longer do... so I'll share my "Love Letter to Running" tomorrow. 

But I recently heard a great quote by Dr. Martin Luther King that touched my heart.

If you can't fly, then run.
If you can't run, then walk.
If you can't walk, then crawl.
But whatever you do, keep moving forward.

It's not a bad way for any one of us to live our lives. Keep moving forward. Do so with other people, and please know you'll meet some remarkable people along the way.

Photo Credits
Venus
Kittens
ICD