Fandom as Friendship: Life Lessons from Klay Thompson

For a full week, Bay Area sports radio was unable to stray from conversation, conjecture, criticism and critique on the departure of Klay Thompson from the Golden State Warriors. I  listened twice to the ESPN Daily Podcast: Why Klay Thompson's Exit Spells the End of the Warriors' Dynasty to gain a better understanding of how this happened... why it happened...and more. The more I read (and hear), the less I really know. One thing however is certain, this Splash Brother will be missed. If it's not for an era that seems to have passed, it's for what could have been. Thus, I would like to offer the tribute as a way to thank #11 for all the life lessons he offered both on and off the hardwood. Sports and Spirituality is a better class because of Thompson and his impact on the "Klay Area." Here are but a few ideas and understandings gained from this Warrior. 

What Meets the Eye
In 2019, Klay Thompson purchased a house but five homes from where I live. Though the article says his digs were near the Chase Center, his real estate agent informed me was on Washington— a street that dead ends into Alta Vista Park. Given that I park on the street—my unit on Fillmore and Washington does not include parking—I usually find a spot in and around this locale. 

Standing 6'6" Thompson is easily recognizable. I have no doubt I would have seen him and tried to do so. I am certain he would have taken his bulldog Rocco out to walk and enjoy the remarkable 360 degree vistas of the city from Alta Vista. I hope I would have respected his privacy and yet I would like to believe I would have been a fun and friendly neighbor. 

Unfortunately for fans like me, it never happened. Due to personal reasons, Klay did not move in and well, that idea lives on as but a dream (and a story). 

When I told this story to my former roommate, she asked me if I ever figured out who lived in the house two doors down from Klay. "Why?" I asked. She replied "Well, a Lincoln town car sits in front of it every day and picks somebody up. I've always wondered who lives there."

I have seen that black limo she mentioned every single work day for at minimum two or three years, before COVID. Not once did I think twice about it. I never wondered who ordered it or why. In short, my vision caught sight of it but I'm not sure I saw it. It registered and yet it didn't. 

The contrast presented by what I saw but didn't see and what I wanted to see has always been striking to me. What do we see and why? What do we want to see? What do we not see? 

These questions and this story is such an important metaphor for the spiritual life. How? Why? Because for so many of us seeing is believing. However, the spiritual life demands something more. As mentioned in the article "Team Leader" Notre Dame's new president Father Bob Dowd, C.S.C. states, "Among other things, I see my role as a priest as one who helps people to believe that there is more to life than what meets the eye and that God is with them."

I stopped when I read his message. I have long believed that is my job too. Such is the task of a teacher of Sports and Spirituality. The course is not about public displays of faith—athletes pointing to the sky. Rather, I aim to help young people see the world through a different lens—a sacramental one. At its best it's one of meaning and grace, that is open to the many ways God is working in the world. With all due respect to Klay, life isn't about seeing just what we want to see. Instead, what else might we see, notice, acknowledge and recognize that is hidden in plain sight? That requires a new perspective or point of view? That has a deeper meaning? 

Lights Out
In the event this metaphor needs extension, let's unpack a test run by ESPN's Sports Science after Thompson scored 37 points in just one quarter. Thompson set an NBA record and prompted this blog post as it exemplified the concept of FLOW.

Every athlete has heard the words "keep your eye on the ball." This science determined that during a shot, Klay keeps his eyes locked on the target for 90% of his shooting motion. This allows him to use visual information to guide the ball from his hands to the target. For the sake of science, John Brenkus sought to discover: How might that change with the lights out?  Watch the video for the amazing scientific explanation. I'll offer the metaphorical one.

Thompson made 80% of his shots in total darkness. His form was was remarkably consistent. In other words: the trained eye will see. Form will not only follow function, it will flourish. We will do what we need to do and see what we need to see with training, commitment, practice and performance. I guess Father Bob and I need to keep at it!

Fandom as Friendship
Though I have not read much about this, I think to be a fan is to enter into a particular kind of friendship. To really follow and stay loyal to a certain player means you take on a certain responsibility. You support and defend your friends. You give them grace and space. You pay attention to their joys and their struggles, their passions and pursuits. To lose Klay Thompson from the Warriors is to see a neighborhood friend move away. In life, people change...they move on. Perhaps a new opportunity is for the best. But, doesn't mean it's easy.

When Thompson signed with the Mavericks, I immediately thought of my former colleague and friend Matt Balano. I think of him often, but especially in times like this, I would like to know his thoughts on the deal. I trusted him and his input. At my gym, I had to reach out to my friend's boyfriend. I know that Klay is one of his favorite players. I wanted him to know, I knew what all of this might mean for him. It's a loss. Ugh.

I have written about Klay Thompson in this context before, in the blog post: Friendships from Sports: Another Jewel of Life. It is better to have loved this friend, than to have never have had the friendship at all? Tennyson had it right. 

The Athletic writer, Marcus Thompson II said it best with this tribute. Thompson was genuine enough to be in relationship with us—his fans. He did bare his soul. I'm grateful we kept him strong. That's what friends can do. That is what friendship is about. We are all witnesses to that gift—seen and unseen. Thank you for the life lessons, the wins and even the losses. You will be missed; you are beloved, Klay. 

Photo Credits
Marcus Thompson
Mavericks

Friendships From Sports: Another Jewel of Life

The words of  Jessie Owens resonate with my life's story. The four-time 1936 Olympic champion said, "Friendships born on the field of athletic strife are the real gold of competition. Awards become corroded, friends gather no dust." 

I met two of my closest friends on the Carondelet High School tennis team. One was my favorite doubles partner and the other came back from a 7-0 deficit to beat me during freshman year tryouts, 9-7 in the 8-game pro-set. I haven't played tennis with or against either of these women in over 25 years, and yet their friendship means more to me than ever.

I continue to make friends—new ones, good ones, even wild ones through sports. The game of golf has introduced me to women and men, young and old from a variety of backgrounds, careers and much more. Truly, my life is so much richer because of the time we spend together playing what is much more than "just a game."  Indeed, through the shared pursuit of something challenging, competitive. and fun that those relationships are strengthened and sustained. Sport really is the gift that keeps on giving.

I love the fact professional sports celebrates the friendships that are born from being teammates. For example, the long waited return of Klay Thompson (941 days to be exact) wasn't the only story that caught the media's attention. Prior to tip-off, this Splash Brother was greeted with a hug by his little league teammate, Kevin Love. As written on SFGate

The intertwining paths of Klay Thompson and Kevin Love trace back to a baseball field in a Portland, Ore., suburb.

Long before the NBA All-Stars faced each other on their current sport’s biggest stage, they shared a Little League team. Thompson was the speedy leadoff hitter, Love the hard-throwing pitcher. Even then, while playing a sport that won’t figure in their legacy, the preteens recognized in one another the potential for greatness.

But a few hours earlier, the highest profile position for the Rams was working to secure another victory for a Los Angeles team. Matt Stafford, the team's quarterback grew up with a man who knows what those expectations and that pressure feels like. The Dodgers long time ace, Clayton Kershaw has called Stafford a teammate and friend since they were six years old.

Stafford watches Kershaw pitch at Dodger Stadium. #support

In fact, as written in The Bleacher Report

They played on the same youth soccer, baseball, football and basketball teams together. They played freshmen football and two years of varsity baseball together and both graduated from Highland Park High School in 2006 after dominant final seasons. Kershaw compiled a 13-0 record with an ERA of 0.77. In a five-inning mercy-rule game, he struck out all 15 batters.

These two examples, on one of the more exciting sports Sundays, got me thinking about other friendships born from youth or high school sports. I know that many collegiate and professional athletes consider their teammates to be like friends and in some cases, like family. But what of those born from those formative years. 

Andy Roddick and Drew Brees both are long time friends and former teammates. As written by the 2003 US Open Champion:

“Yes Drew Brees beat me in tennis when I was 9 and he was 11. Twice,” Roddick wrote on Twitter back in 2014. “I finally beat him and he quit tennis. You’re welcome football.”

What other former teammates/friends come to mind?

Reflecting upon these types of connections, got me thinking. Can you name two women that became friends through sport? I could not.  The first example that came to mind was Venus and Serena Williams. I gave myself a half point of credit, as they siblings. However, I genuinely think the two sisters—born just 15 months apart—have an affection for one another that is akin to the best of friends. Please share names of female athletes if you know any. They ought to be publicized too!

And while we are at it—what about male and female friendships. I knew that Jerian Grant and Jewell Lloyd became friends at the University of Notre Dame thanks to shared space. In the time between the men's and women's practices, the two would shoot around and engage in a friendly, yet competitive game of H.O.R.S.E.  All-Americans, Player of the year candidates, and now...friends. Go IRISH.

I believe every person should have a number of quotes, prayers and mottos memorized by heart. One of mine is by the late author and activist, Elie Wiesel. He wrote "friends are the jewel of life." Thank you sports, for bringing many jewels, many colors, shapes and sizes. Shine brightly.

Photo Credits
Drew and Andy
Venus and Serena
Klay and Love
Matt Stafford

The Real Winner of the 2016 Sportsperson of the Year....

The death of British singer, songwriter—George Michael—on Christmas Day serves as a punctuation mark on what so many people have deemed a year of total loss. The world also bid farewell to several music icons in 2016—David Bowie, Glenn Frey and Prince (NB: a future posting will be written about the many athletes and coaches who are no longer with us). Though their legacy lives on, their music remains. We still miss them.

I have a sneaky suspicion that on New Year's eve you will read on social media a tremendous number of bitter goodbyes to 2016. Never before have I heard so many people proclaim they were ready to be done with these 365 days. I thought even years were supposed to be good? Maybe the "7" in 2017 is something folks look forward to...?.... Regardless, it's more than fair to say that 2016 has not been easy.

The crisis is Syria is so heartbreaking, I have difficulty reading about the plight of these refugees, the persecution of Christians and the violence too many children have suffered. Race relations in the United States reached Fahrenheit 452...one degree more than the temperature at which paper combusts. The violence in our inner-cities: Oakland, Chicago, Detroit—the struggle is too real. And as much as people want this year to end, prior to November 8, 2016, I have never heard so many state that they wanted the presidential election to be over. When it was, a new pandemonium broke out. 2016, you took no prisoners....except for one. Sports...and guess what? Sports won.

Sports put up a fight, one of its very best in decades. Sports showcased epic victories in our heartland (NBA Finals and the World Series) on our homeland (Ryder Cup) and internationally (in Rio) that should not be overlooked. Records and droughts were broken. Honestly, LeBron James should not have been named the Sportsperson of the Year. I wish Sports Illustrated had given the honor to....sports. 

As written by the editors of SI, 

Every month, it seemed, unlocked a watershed moment, bigger and more dramatic than the previous one, a sort of Russian nesting doll in reverse. Who, last January, would have been so bold as to predict that the Cubs, a team from Cleveland and a 5,000-t0-1 long shot in England would win titles? Other shocking events—the Olympic excellence of Bolt, Phelps, Ledecky and Biles, a record tying seventh NASCAR title for Jimmie Johnson—bolstered the argument for this being the Greatest Year in Sports.

So if you would like to change the tone of your New Year's celebration beyond resentment, despair, anger, or fear, I'd like to suggest raising a glass to the following great moments in sports. Please post and share your own!

1. NCAA Men's Basketball Championship Game: Villanova d. UNC. With 4.7 seconds left on the game clock, Kris Jenkins to Ryan Arcidiacono to Kris Jenkins for three and the national championship over North Carolina.
   
   
2. When Madison Bumgarner defeated the formidable right-hander Jacob deGrom of the New York Mets at CitiField, San Francisco Giants fans truly began to believe that maybe—just maybe—a single player could bring another World Series title for the 4 time in 6 years. MadBum led the Giants in their only defeat of the Chicago Cubs in what became a 13-inning game that lasted at nearly seven hours. I kept thinking of my brother, the biggest Giants fan I know who remained awake at 3:00 a.m. to see the finish. Ultimately, Bumgarner did NOT get the win in that game and we know who did not win the Series. That being said, much of America was happy for the Cubs, or suddenly became Cubs fans. The outcome of the Presidential election seemed to rain on their media victory parade. That being said, over one million people attended.
   
   
3. Ryder Cup, Hazeltine, MN. Though 2016 wasn't one of the great years for men's golf—Spieth had an epic collapse at the Masters, the finals of the US Open (which I loved) was fighting for time with Game 7 of the NBA Finals, and the PGA Championship faced one rain delay after another, the Americans took the Ryder Cup title by a definitive score of 17-11. Some folks don't like the trash talking and ardent emotion of match play golf. Golf purists are uncomfortable with etiquette on vacay, but I loved seeing good golf. The competitive spirit was alive and bumpin'. Great job Team USA!
   
   
4. Klay Thompson drains a 3 in Game 5 of the Western Finals. As written on NBA.com, while Klay Thompson added 27 points as Golden State sent the best the best-of-seven series back to Oklahoma City for Game 6 on Saturday night. The Warriors trail 3-2 and are trying to become just the 10th team to rally from a 3-1 deficit. Thompson's shot that rocked Golden State's world, singlehandedly changed the momentum of that game. The Thunder did NOT want to get on that flight back out to the Bay Area. History proved why. I'll keep silent about the next chapter of this story...a different team, who also came back from a 3-1 deficit.

These are but a bit of my favorite moments from sports in 2016, and there are literally hundreds more. There are folks who left the game: Kobe Bryant, Tim Duncan, Peyton Manning and David Ortiz among others, and those who left us (again, future posting). I do not want to deny that 2016 has been incredibly challenging. The world has seen some dark days—too many—but for all our readiness to put 2016 in the books, I urge you—before you do—raise a glass to the miracles that unfolded before our eyes. Thank you sports.

Photo Credits
Simpsons
LeBron
Nova

Rule #1 for Taking the High Road

As tempting as it is, I am not writing a "Dear LeBron" letter or an open one to King James. The purpose of this posting is to reflect upon one of my favorite ideals, one that I call my athletes and own self to time and again: taking the high road.

With every action, there is a reaction. We choose how we will respond to a question, a challenge, a problem or in LeBron's case, name calling. When we succeed it's hard to contain our enthusiasm and keep the celebration far from excessive. At other times, it's not easy to let emotions of anger, frustration and disgust get the best of us—especially when prodded or provoked. Thus, when given the choice, we ought to take the high road or as Ron Burgundy would have it, "stay classy." 

Though scripture does not mention "the high road" and why good people must take it, in Saint Paul's letters he urges the people of Corinth to "strive eagerly for the greatest spiritual gift, the Way of Love. But I shall show you a more excellent way" or as the Notre Dame Folk Choir sings it, "to set your heart on the higher gifts." (1 Corinthians 12:31)

Some spiritual gifts are better than others, some pathways are straighter, narrower and higher. So when we set our sights on greater gifts or choose to take the higher road, we are exercising the virtue of love. Love has many iterations; no wonder the Greeks have so many words for it. And for me to try to connect taking the higher road as an act of love to what transpired in the NBA Finals feels like a stretch—a big one. It's an emotional game. This is the final series. Competitive greats love the game, but they love winning (maybe even more!). Hence the conflict between LeBron James and Draymond Green on the hardwood.

And this is what LeBron had to say about it in his post-game interview—a series of questions and answers in response to comments made by Green's teammate, Klay Thompson. The Yahoo interview includes the transcript

LEBRON JAMES: I’m not going to comment on what Klay said, because I know where it can go from this sit-in. It’s so hard to take the high road. I’ve been doing it for 13 years. It’s so hard to continue to do it, and I’m going to do it again.At the end of the day, we’ve got to go out and show up and play better tomorrow night; and if we don’t, then they’re going to be back-to-back champion, and that’s it.But I’ve taken the high road again.

I think it's important to take the high road, I think it's critical for coaches to model this and for players to choose it. However, in order to take the high road, one must know a little bit about what that means. Love has something to do with it and yes, focusing on our spiritual gifts does too, but I'm pretty sure that one of the primary rules about taking the higher road is that you don't tell others you are taking it. One need not mention how difficult it is or for how long you have been taking it. Defeats the point, no?

Here is where I find a much stronger connection to Scripture. When Jesus taught about Giving Alms and how to pray, He said the following in Matthew 6:1-8:

[But] take care not to perform righteous deeds in order that people may see them; otherwise, you will have no recompense from your heavenly Father. When you give alms, do not blow a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites* do in the synagogues and in the streets to win the praise of others. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right is doing, so that your almsgiving may be secret. And your Father who sees in secret will repay you.   

When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, who love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on street corners so that others may see them. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go to your inner room, close the door, and pray to your Father in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will repay you. In praying, do not babble like the pagans, who think that they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them. Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

LeBron, you played a remarkable game last night. The Warriors lost to your team because you and your teammate Kyrie Irving were unstoppable with 41 points each. But I'm not convinced you took the high road in Game 4 (personally I think you deserved a flagrant). 

And, I believe the people of Cleveland, happy as they are to have you back, would sincerely question if you have taken the high road for the past 13 years. In the article "I'm Coming Home" you wrote, "Remember when I was sitting up there at the Boys and Girls Club in 2010? I was thinking, This is really tough. I could feel it. I was leaving something I had spent a long time creating. If I had to do it over again, I'd obviously do things differently, but I'd still have left." Taking the high road involves not just what you do, but how you do it. Though Miami confirmed you were a champion, the road you took to get there was a low one.

The road of the NBA Finals heads back to Cleveland, known as the "Mistake on the Lake" and the "armpit of the United States." And yet the most recent "3o for 30 documentary" refers to it as something else: Believeland.  

Thank you LeBron for helping me believe not only what we are called to do, but how we should do it. 

Photo Credits

Klay post game
LeBron and Day Day
High Road

Truth and The Story Behind "The High Five"

Truth has a funny way of revealing itself, of being made known and understood. Truth is truth, whether or not I agree with it (that's another thing that's funny about truth). I've encountered truth through literature, art, Scripture, prayer, the classroom and in unlikely places too. I've found truth on the N Judah Muni line, in Yosemite Valley, and in a yearbook inscription. The other way I've found truth is in one of the simplest and most basic gestures—the high five. Here's the story...or stories. 

When I was in high school I could not wait for the distribution of yearbooks and the ritual of signing them. This was an important tradition to me. I was anxious to read what certain people might say. I was hoping others—certain boys—would ask to sign mine. I remember taking home the yearbooks of good friends because I had a near treatise of memories to recall.

Having an older brother, I also couldn't wait for the opportunity to look through his for several reasons. One, Mark attended De La Salle, an all boys' school. Though we largely went to "one school with two administrations," my high school, Carondelet had a separate yearbook. Thanks to him, I got to look through their annual. Two, as his annoying younger sister, I wanted to know what his friends wrote. My sister and I would tease him about what certain girls said and the phone numbers he got.   

I love this photo because it captures an "hell yeah" type of high-five. sometimes that's how you feel...

To this day, I can recall certain witty or creative messages. and a strange one. It said, "We mock what we don't understand." Why my brother's friend wrote this, I'm not sure—it's a bit sardonic for a yearbook posting—no? However, it has stayed with me and I think that's because it points to a certain truth. He's on to something. If we truly understand a person, a place, an idea, I don't know that we mock it (...although that's not entirely impossible). And I was reminded of it last week when a friend put down what I consider to be a positive, fun hand gesture: the high five. 

She said "the high five is lame. I think it is so overused and have don't have a lot of respect for people who use them." I had heard similar complaints about "The Wave" but never the high five.

I consider the high five a fundamental extension of our humanity. I can recall my nieces at 16 months learning to high five. We loved it. I think of the times I crave "a little of that human touch" (thank you Bruce Springsteen) and how in those moments, the high-five is relatively sufficient. For example, I've been excited to see my seniors after a big game or an big moment. A hug isn't entirely appropriate—however, a timely high five is. 

I think Iggy is giving Klay a big "oh yeah" type of high five here.

I think of many iterations of this hand slap and the degrees of emotion that characterize each one. Sorry folks, but when Klay Thompson drained that 3-pointer with 1:35 left in Game 6 to put the Warriors up by 3 against OKC, I reached across to Amy—a friend I've had since high school—and I gave her a high-ten with so much power and attitude, you would have thought I made the shot. (I'm sure there was a massive overbite going on at that moment too). No, in my world, there was no need to make an argument for the high five.

As I was thinking of the memorable high fives, of why and how it's fun, of a world without them, or making my case for them, another co-worker asked us if we had seen the "30 for 30" Short: The High Five.  We hadn't. He debriefed us on the story...I think you should watch it now.

I watched it and found myself totally unprepared—emotionally—for what lies behind this simple extension of one palm—raised in the air—as it meets another. Former LA Dodger, Dusty Baker who was in on the inception of the high five said "sometimes you don't know why you do the things you do, especially when you're extremely happy—you just respond to each other." That's part of how the high five was born....but there's more to it. My friend Elizabeth who once mocked the high five said "I have a whole new respect for the high five. Although, I will say I am an amateur high fiver due to my past reservations. Thanks for sharing Sean!" #truth

The conclusion of the video honors Glenn Burke, the inventor of the high five with these words: "A newspaper reporter tracked him down years after he had retired, and they asked him about the high five, he said "think about the feeling you get when you give the high five. I had that feeling years before anybody else." There's another type of truth in that. 

I hope when I get to heaven—pending God's approval—that I'm greeted with a high five from Dawn Hanson—my grade school track coach, Clarence Clemons, St. Peter and the inventor of it: Glenn Burke. RIP

Photo Credits
The High Five: Glenn Burke
Klay
Steph

Standing on Squared Up Shoulders: Klay Thompson

Golden State Warriors' shooting guard Klay Thompson knows a thing or two about shoulders. When he was asked how he scored 37 points in the 126-101 win over the Sacramento Kings, he didn't say a lot, except for "I always square up my shoulders to get a good shot." Thompson, who was nine for nine at the 3-point line and thirteen for thirteen on shots taken, stands on some tall shoulders. His father, Mychal Thompson was the first foreign born player to be drafted as the number one pick in the NBA. And both father and son know that their success can be attributed to the same man, a man whose shoulders are very broad, a man who made many sacrifices, a man no longer with us but still living in two dreams that came true: Mr. DeWitt Thompson.

Before two famous foreign born players, Hakeem Olajuwon & Yao Ming,
Mychal Thompson was the #1 pick in the NBA Draft.

Learning about the Thompson family history in "Klay Revealed" raised important questions for me. I thought about the simplicity, trust, and humility of DeWitt Thompson and wondered:What if parents stopped making sacrifices for their children? What if parents determined that their own wants and needs were more important than those of their kids? What would the world look like?

I ask these questions because I don't think we should ever take for granted that people will do so. You could make an argument that we are programmed to care for our young—Is it in our DNA? I hope so. But to the hard work, the vision that looks out rather than in, the risks and demands of truly putting others before ourselves may also work against some of us. St. Augustine said that "Grace builds on nature." If we have prioritized our own needs and wants—for reasons of pride and ego, self-preservation, bad example and/or pleasure, it can be very tough to change our ways, especially when it gets interrupted 24/7 by someone who expects nothing less.

Okay...that's a little heavy. 

The good news is that some good deeds do go unpunished! When the Lakers won the NBA Championship in 1987, Mychal honored his father by giving him his ring. DeWitt wore that every day until he died in 2013, at 94 years of age. And upon revisiting the Thompson family roots in Nassau, Bahamas, Klay said "I feel a sense of gratitude toward my grandfather that I have never felt before. I realize now that so much of my success is owed to him." His dad, Mychal responded by hugging Klay and his younger brother Trayce as they stood over DeWitt's grave. He added, "You guys wouldn’t be where you are today. He let me go to the US to pursue my dream. Goodbye, Grandpa. We love you and we miss you. We always think about you."

Gratitude begets gratitude. In Klay's appreciation for his grandfather, he also recognizes the gift of his own father. In talking about Mychal a two-time NBA champion, Klay said "Some people say he was lucky, but I think he was brave. He set out on an unknown journey to become a great basketball player. His journey proves one thing. It doesn’t matter where you’re from, but where you are going and when you get there, it’s never by yourself.

We are all witnesses.

Klay's right. His teammates understood that something very special was happening during the third quarter. Realizing he was in the "flow channel," they wanted to get him the ball. Draymond Green laughed as he said, "I almost turned over the ball a couple times trying to get the ball to Klay." He added, "I'm honored to be out there on the floor, just to witness that." Basketball fans and Warriors fans, in particular, are honored to witness that too. Please know who had a hand in making it all possible...

Photo Credits
Father and Son
Witnesses