What Losing Does to Me....Thoughts on Notre Dame vs. Texas

On Sunday September 4, 2016 Notre Dame lost to Texas 50-47, in a game that went into double overtime. The Fightin' Irish, ranked number ten in the nation were were 4.5 point favorites over the Longhorns—in their house. Just last year, in another Labor Day weekend showdown, the Irish came out of the gate with gusto, defeating UT 38-3. Though that game ended the season for Irish running back and starter Tarean Folston, the 2015 season looked very promising. 

Today, even two days removed, I found myself still upset about the outcome of the 2016 meet-up. Certain encounters at work left me irrationally angry or frustrated. Though I have written about winning and losing, and in particular why losing hurts, I needed to make sense of my sentiments. So, here are but a few additional insights and take-aways....that I hope you can either a) relate to b) forgive me for holding or c) pass along to therapist near me. 

Nuances are important
I will admit, Sunday's contest was an exciting game. I would not however say it was a great game. I saw TONS of holes on both sides of the ball (by both teams) and a whole lot of mistakes and missed opportunities. Granted it's not October and we're not in full stride, so I should be kind...but I need to be honest, too.

So what can one say? How should a football fan talk about a game like that one?. I'm still not a fan of the pity party, but a number of people did offer a humble and sincere "sorry about the loss." It's the best thing they could say. Many of those who offered these simple words of consolation "get it." It helps....thank you.

Consider Timing.
A co-worker decided he would share for me that he lost his passion for Notre Dame football. Consequently, the loss didn't upset him in the way it once had or...remotely in the way I was feeling. I understand that our interests and passions change. For example, thirty years ago I would be glued to the TV right now watching the US Open. Tennis under the lights in New York really is electric. Today, I check in for but a few matches at best. 

But, the conversation he started is worth having at another time and in another place. The guy is smart and knows a ton about football.  He also knows that I am irrationally passionate and/or dedicated to my alma mater. I would have sincerely appreciated any of his thoughts on what he did observe or notice....not that his psyche wasn't the least bit crushed. #narcissist. 

Did I mention the Irish came back from an 17 point deficit in the 3rd quarter? AGH!

Never add insult to injury.
What may have been worse, is that another co-worker—generously listening to this strange conversation—(may?) have tried to relate to my colleague by telling him "you're a father now. That's what happens when you become a parent." Though I understand the message he intended to pass along, again my irrational anger and frustration did not leave me listening kindly. I started to wonder if he and I were inhabiting the same planet. Is this what parenthood does to adults? It makes them not care about sports? about their favorite teams? Maybe....but clearly he hasn't been to South Bend....or to any SEC stadium....#jackass

Be careful of the voices you listen to.
After a loss, it's important to debrief with people you know, trust and respect. Personally, I seek out those who I know a) care about my team—genuinely care about Notre Dame and b) know something about football. 

If you did not watch the game—and I've heard these people spew their venom—please refrain from polluting the airwaves. If you don't know much about football and what makes a good team work, keep your insights and words brief. A wise person knows what he/she does not know.

For those that do know—thank you for your time. I want to hear your thoughts on why our defense does not tackle and hear your thoughts on our defensive coordinator, Brian Van Gorder. I want to sing the praises of DeShone Kizer all day. Do you agree that if Torii Hunter, Jr. hadn't taken that hit in the end zone that we would have won the game? Do you miss Jaylon Smith and Will Fuller as much as I do? What do you think of Brian Kelly's play calling?

Griping and whining just doesn't assuage the irrational frustration and anger. Unpacking, reviewing, reconsidering and next steps does...a little.

Never Be That Person
I have always believed you can learn as much from the example of who you do not want to be as the person you do. 

There are teams and college programs that I despise. I have little to no respect for their program, their coaches, what they stand for and so on. As strong as those feelings are for me to share (and admit), I would not tell an alum from that institution in the way I hear those sentiments said to me about Notre Dame from time to time.

For example, someone said "I never cheer for Texas but since they're playing Notre Dame, I am now."  I suppose a charged statement like that beckons a glaring retort. I just don't want to be that person. Either one.

Be that Person
But who I do want to be isn't without a gentle internal reminder and peronal exercise in generosity. I have to remind myself—because it's not easy —that after a tough loss, I want to be a fan who takes the higher road. I want to reach out to Texas fans and say "exciting game, Congratulations." (Notice I didn't say great game). 

I was able to share that I am genuinely happy that their program seems to be on the up-and-up. I think they deserve to be ranked. I respect their coach, Charlie Strong. I sincerely wish him well and think he's good for the game. When you lose, it's easy to hang your head. Instead, look up and look at the winners in the eye. It's not an easy pill to swallow. You may have to fake it till you make it, but it's the right thing and the right way to be.

A very small part of me wishes I didn't care so much....but I do. It's in my DNA. Ask any Stricherz around. The cost of caring is that when you lose—at times when it matters A LOT e.g. against Stanford at the last regular game of the season or a lot, e.g. the season opener—there's a price you pay (one of my favorite Springsteen songs). Your emotions play with you, and it's not easy. But....being a fan of a team and a program like Notre Dame means there are many more stories to tell. And, not all of them end this way. Grateful for the many I've had and all those to come.

And our hearts forever......

Photo Credits
DeShone
Torii
Texas Wins
Fans

Colin Kapernick: Questions and Considerations

I'm not really interesting in clogging the airwaves on a story that has gotten tremendous local—and to my surprise national—media attention. But, I suppose most writers feel that way. We believe we have a thought—or two—to offer. But opinions are like belly buttons: everyone has one. And Colin Kapernick's decision to sit during the national anthem has elicited a firestorm of them. The spectrum of  reactions, responses, questions and stories it has spawned is as diverse as our nation. However, what's been interesting to me about this particular story is not my opinion, but my reaction. When I heard about it via SportsCenter, I thought to myself, I'm surprised no one did what he did at the Olympic Games in Rio.

Do you agree? Have you held that same thought? In 2012 I heard Dr. John Carlos speak at the school where I teach about the decision that he and Tommie Smith made at the 1968 games in Mexico City. Given the social and racial climate in our country, I figured the time was right. Also, I know there is a black national anthem; I have wondered when or if an African-American athlete will request that song to be played in lieu of Francis Scott Key's masterpiece.

So it is with those questions in mind that I aim to address other ideas and questions Colin Kapernick's decision has invited me to consider. Let me be clear, the intention of this posting is not to take a stand on or share my view, but rather to add to the airwaves a humble thought...or two.

First, I think it's important to know that the Thursday night contest against the Packers is not the first time that Kapernick has refused to stand during the national anthem. I am not sure why it became newsworthy now, and not the first, second or third time he made that choice.

Second, the choice he made in the past and on August 26, isn't one that has gone unnoticed by his teammates. Alex Boone, now with the Minnesota Vikings said, 

“It’s hard for me, because my brother was a Marine, and he lost a lot of friends over there,” Boone told USA TODAY Sports. “That flag obviously gives (Kaepernick) the right to do whatever he wants. I understand it. At the same time, you should have some (expletive) respect for people who served, especially people that lost their life to protect our freedom.

With all due respect to Mr. Boone, his words make me cringe. He is not the only person who has shared that sentiment...or euphemism. 

Freedom does not mean that one can do whatever they want. As a society and a culture, we set limits and we evaluate and reevaluate the lines that we draw. When one breaks the rules, dishonors the law or pushes the limits they must be held accountable. And, there is a price to pay when we disagree. It's a cliche for a reason. Freedom isn't free.

To me, Kapernick was well aware of his right—given by the First Amendment—toward freedom of speech. He exercised his right and from what I have gathered, he knew there would be consequences. 

Historically, Kapernick has been terse with the media. Local fans have wondered if he studied at the public speaking school of Marshawn Lynch But in this instance, Kapernick welcomed the microphone and the opportunity to address the reason behind his decision. he said,

"I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color. To me, this is bigger than football and it would be selfish on my part to look the other way. There are bodies in the street and people getting paid leave and getting away with murder."

Kapernick's decision has prompted Americans to consider how else they express their national pride or disappointment. I had talked to a friend earlier this summer about the time in the late '80s or was it the early '90s when a number of Americans burned flags at Major League baseball games. That gesture ushered in a desire (by some) to add  a constitutional amendment, outlawing the burning of a the Star and Stripes. I started to question: Is the flag as a symbol more or equally sacred as our national anthem? 

CK kneels during the Niner vs Charger game on 9/1/16

As much as I feel frustrated by the shelf life that certain stories hold in the American news cycle and within popular media, I have grown to learn each one invites me to respond—ever new, ever challenging. I've been surprised by many of my reactions in the past. I have learned more about myself than I would if these stories never came to be. 

Kapernick's decision forgo an important pregame ritual has prompted—is it safe to say—the best and worst of us? I've listened to the spectrum of viewpoints and all that I truly have to offer are questions. Having taught ethics for 12 years, I conclude with a poignant thought from an introductory article we use each year.

Questions, you know, are not only the problems or paragraphs or multiple-choices on mid-terms and finals.  Questions can be teachers.  Questions can be like enigmatic but enduring friends; like someone whom you know so well yet still do not know but are thankful for. —Coleman Brown

What has Kapernick's decision prompted you to consider? What has been uncomfortable to talk about?  How could things be different?.......

Photo Credits
Kneeling
Teammates
Media
X

Kareem Abdul Jabar: Much More than a Weird, Cool Dude

"What a weird, cool, dude." That's exactly how I described basketball legend Kareem Abdul-Jabbar after watching the HBO documentary "Minority of One." I had faded memories of this basketball legend as the eye goggles wearing center for the Lakers...as having been in the movie Airplane ....and wasn't he on The Muppets, too? I considered him to be quiet and introverted off the court and crazy good with the sky hook on it. I was hungry to talk about the man once known as Lew Alcindor to gain a stronger sense of his legacy, his social and cultural impact and confirm his place on the Mount Rushmore of Hoops. And, after hearing Kareem Abdul-Jabbar—author, activist, philosopher, actor and athlete, speak at the Commonwealth Club—now all I can think is: what an erudite, thoughtful, articulate, compassionate and great American. He's funny too. 

Here are but a few brief thoughts and recollections from the evening that prompted the necessary change to my descriptor.

As many fans know, Abdul-Jabar is the all time leading scorer in the NBA. Let's make this a little more clear in case it's not already: No one has more points in his entire career than this great center does with 28,287 points and an average 24.6 points per game. The six time NBA Champion also won three NCAA championships at UCLA. 

Though the list of his accomplishments is both lengthy and highly impressive, what touched me most is that so many people are pushing for him to win the Presidential Medal of Freedom. The session led me to believe that he was going to earn what is

America's highest civil award. It is conferred upon men and women of high achievement in the arts and entertainment, public service, science, education, athletics, business and other fields. For most recipients, this award is a special distinction added to many prior honors.

Unfortunately, I cannot find any evidence that it is confirmed. I hope he is included in the next class.

The emcee, Von Jones made me laugh when he said "Kareem, you are my tallest hero." I thought of the literal and figurative truth behind his words. Jones had the wisdom to ask who was Abdul-Jabbar's hero. When he said "Emmett Till" I raised my hands to clap and clap loudly. 

Abdul-Jabbar was just eight years old when Till, a 14 year old boy was lynched for allegedly whistling at a white woman. "I couldn't and didn't understand," Abdul-Jabbar said.  "But that story had a profound affect on me, even at a young age." 

Till's legacy lives on when an American hero, like Abdul-Jabbar honors him and his mother. Mamie Till decided to keep her teenage son's casket open so the world could see. Till's life and his mother's decision paved the way for Rosa Parks and the Civil Rights movement. They are fitting and worthy heroes. Thank you Kareem.

Jones also pointed out that today, Abdul-Jabbar is the most visible and beloved Muslim in the west. Though I believe Mulala Yousafzai, (who now lives in the United Kingdom), might give Abdul-Jabbar a run for the money, I was struck by the poignancy of those words.

Abdul-Jabbar, who advocates for women's rights called out the injustices to women that he has encountered in his own faith. He referenced the inconsistencies between what the Quran says and how many Muslim countries proceed in their treatment of women. For example, "the  Quran says that women are free to choose who they marry, the are equal partners in a marriage, that they have the right to inherit money and property." I am not sure in what way Abdul-Jabbar is responding to this inequity; perhaps his new book, "Writings on the Wall: Searching for a New Equality Beyond Black and White" does.

At this point in the conversation Jones pointed out that it has been written that Abdul-Jabbar is a teacher and philosopher trapped in a basketball player's body. Abdul-Jabbar didn't disagree.  I appreciated his talk as much for his insights on Colin Kapernick's decision to sit during the national anthem as I did his tales from the hardwood.

He gave total respect to his coaches, including the great John Wooden. When he spoke about the Wizard of Westwood, his tone, his body language and his message was one of reverence. He said that the greatest lesson Coach Wooden taught him was the importance of being prepared. Though this doesn't sound either surprising or all that interesting, he elaborated quite eloquently on the point. Abdul-Jabbar admitted that he was always mentally and physically ready for the task at hand because of how Coach Wooden taught him to prepare. And what he appreciated about this teaching was that it was in no way limited to basketball. "He used basketball to teach us how to be prepared as a family member....as a husband...as a citizen...as a member of society."

Abdul-Jabbar got me to laugh when he admitted that he didn't understand Wooden's Pyramid of Success during his four years at UCLA. "I thought he was a Mason for a long time. Now I understand how it was related to Wooden's utter conviction of how important it is to do things the right way. He was totally committed to it. I attribute his way to his deep Christian faith."

There were many local cheers when Abdul-Jabbar admitted that no one played defense on him like the late, great Nate Thurmond. But I think there was even more enthusiasm when an audience member asked the leading question that delights all sports fans: "Who is the greatest Laker?" Ever serious, Abdul-Jabbar went through the list of who could be number one. He said, "it's a tough question. You can make an argument for Jerry West, Elgin Baylor, Wilt Chamberlain, Magic Johnson...some say me...others Kobe...."  With his pause, there were both cheers and jeers until he said "but this is why they have sports bars! You get a beer and some wings and can debate this question for hours." Amen.

My favorite story from the evening was about his teammate of 10 years, Earvin "Magic" Johnson. The very first year this 1-2 punch played together, they won 60 games and clinched their first of five NBA titles. Johnson, the number one draft pick was so excited to play with Abdul-Jabbar that after their first game, he ran up to Abdul-Jabbar, leaned his arms against the 7-footer and celebrated like they won the title. Abdul-Jabbar said, "He looked like a pogo stick!" Again, he paused and then added "I told him the problem with that is Magic, we have another 81 games...it can't be like this every night. But I'm often fairly serious, and Magic taught me how to enjoy the moment."

I felt as though the audience got a bonus story when Abdul-Jabbar added "Whenever we played in Michigan, we would have some of Magic's mom's home cooking. Fried Chicken...collard greens...I would pack my bags with extra pies that she gave us." I don't think I've ever heard an athlete tell a story about a teammate's parent and something as relatable as their delicious home cooking. Too often, Magic and Kareem seem so larger than life that we forget about those people near and dear to them that stand in the background. Abdul-Jabbar has a way of recognizing those types of people with sincerity and appreciation.

The author of a new book Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's message for changing racial climate in this country was simple and practical: "get to know your neighbor." Though no longer a Christian, I could not help but the beginning of the parable, The Good Samaritan. In it, the lawyer asks of Jesus. "And who is my neighbor?" Fortunately Kareem Abdul-Jabbar has thought about this question long and hard many times before. 

I'm grateful, I got but an hour of his time to hear some of his answers to the most pressing questions of our time. Weird and cool? Sure. Compassionate, thoughtful and grounded and rooted? Absolutely.

Photo Credit
Black Muslim
With Coach Wooden
Magic and KAJ

A Sports Fan's Take on the Olympic Games

When asked if I enjoyed the 2016 Summer Olympic games, my immediate response was a loud, sincere “of course.” However, if you knew my viewing patterns and how little I actually watched, you would think otherwise. So, what gives?

I enjoy the Olympics for something other than the fact that it showcases the world’s greatest athletes on the highest stage. Or, that certain sports —swimming and diving, track and field and gymnastics— get the attention they so deserve. My love for the games isn’t even out of appreciation for the outstanding traditions that come with it—the Opening ceremonies, the lighting of the Olympic torch or the valiant theme song.  And who doesn’t want to cheer for Team USA?

No, the reason I so enjoy both the Winter and Summer Olympics is because the spirit, the enthusiasm, the questions and quandaries, challenges and complaints that fill the airwaves resonate with those I hold about sports on a regular basis. Every single day, I want to talk about sports with others and share what I have seen and heard. The way that people feel during those 21 days of the Olympic fortnight is how I feel 365 days a year.

Like the NBA Finals or the NFL under Commissioner Roger Goodell, the Olympics is far from drama free. Whether it’s the sheer corruption of the IOC, the quandary of how much money a community must spend to host the Games or the sexist language and coverage throughout the 21 days, the so-called joy of sports isn’t blind sighted, there is always more than enough to improve and do right in the future.

And as sports is wont to do, a ridiculous story too often fills the airwaves. From the moment Ryan Lochte cried wolf in tweeting that he was held up at gunpoint. I was reminded that Olympians are like anyone and everyone we know. Some are exceptional human beings…and others, well “jackass” seems to be an appropriate descriptor.

these two swimmers contributed very different stories to the 2016 Games

It’s true, every Olympic games brings athletes to the limelight. Whether or not it’s individual competition or a team sport, the narrative of the games is colored by their rise to glory or fall from grace. We watch in anticipation of what will be…

Dan Patrick of Sports Illustrated wrote,

as great as dark horses can be, the Olympics are like March Madness.. We like Cinderellas and upsets, but in the Final Four we want the big names.. We want to see the greats be great. And the interest in the biggest names is what ultimately drives coverage. Unlike some sports where we want to see the dynasties crumble, it was gratifying to see the Phelpses and the Bileses of the world dominate.

The achievements of the greats stays with us beyond the medal stand, because their talents, efforts and the stories of their lives, give us much to consider.

For example, while reflecting on the success of Michael Phelps, I found myself believing that he needed these games…and then I paused. I turned to a friend and said “maybe we needed him to have these games.” Sports and the Olympics in particular make us consider new questions, And what I love so much about sports are the ever new, ever unique questions they invite me to so this on a regular basis.

So proud of the US Women and in particular the 3-seat: Amanda Polk from ND

I know my own father had never considered crew an exciting sport. However, having read and adored “Boys in the Boat” he couldn’t wait to watch rowing. He saved both the US men’s and women’s race for me to watch. As we watched it together, he asked me about my experience as a rower at Notre Dame. Though I once coached this sport and traveled throughout the country with my fellow Irish oarsman, prior to the 2016 Olympic games, I don’t that my dad had ever once asked me a technical question about crew. He wanted to know where I sat in the boat. Did I row port or starboard? And why did I switch from port to starboard during my juionr year? In our conversation, I was reminded that the gift of the Olympics is like the gift of sports—there is always more to learn, consider, connect to and figure out.

I was 10 years old when the Olympics took place in Los Angeles.. I was able to stay up late night to watch Mary Lou Retton, Edwin Moses and Carl Lewis, because the competition took place in the summer, my favorite time of year. I was just old enough to comprehend—beyond the feats of great athletes—the spiritual nature of the games.

Perhaps the seed of my love for sports, planted by my dad, was beginning to grow and take root with those Olympic Games. Though I don’t watch as much of them as I did in 1984, my appreciation for what they offer the world is something I can’t help but enjoy. And the best part about it all is that, the joy of sports does not have to end with the closing ceremonies….we have a pennant race going on here in San Francisco. Football fans know we are less than a week away….St. Ignatius girls golf has try outs this week. Play Ball!!

Photo Credits
Rio
Phelps and Lochte

Tokyo