Beauty and Sadness in Sports and in Spiritual Places Part II: Doc and Darryl...The Sadness

As written in the first part in this series, If Pixar's animated hit "Inside Out" is a story of the how joy and sadness can coexist, the "30 for 30: Doc and Darryl" affirms that beauty and sadness can and do. Ask anyone who has seen the latest in installment in ESPN's documentaries that aim to highlight important people and events in sports history, and I think they will leave you with the impression that "Doc and Darryl" is colored more by sadness than by beauty. However, both truths are worth reflecting upon and learning from. 

The directors, Judd Apatow and Mike Bonfiglio wrote, 

The stories of Darryl Strawberry and Dwight Gooden seem inextricably linked, whether the lives of these two very different men are actually intertwined or not. Both phenoms drafted by the Mets straight out of high school, their parallel meteoric rises in early-1980s New York and the demons that plagued them turned these two superstars and franchise saviors into tabloid fodder and punchlines. We were interested in understanding the men behind the headlines, and what drove them to their spectacular highs and lows. We hope that this film humanizes Doc and Darryl, and in doing so sheds light on issues that we can all relate to in our own lives or the lives of those around us.

The directors succeed. The film does more than humanize these two great athletes. It sheds light onto the beauty and sadness of their success, their life stories and our society. 

In many ways, it is not easy to relate to either athlete. Gooden and Strawberry met great success at a young age in a media saturated and star studded city (Doctor K was 21 and Strawberry was 24 when the Mets won the '86 World Series). Overnight, they were wealthy, and famous as world champions. And yet, the source of sadness in this tale is a universal one. "Doc and Darryl" is a honest and real look at the face of addiction, a disease that does not know age, race, color or creed.

I don't know if it's medically certifiable that some folks have an addictive personality or not, but those who struggle with addiction carry a heavy cross. Addicts don't call it the "monkey on your back" for nothing. Addiction tares lives apart. It ruins marriages, families, and most relationships. For Dwight Gooden and for Darryl Strawberry addiction did that and much more. 

The low point of Gooden's addiction must have been when he missed the World Series parade because of the extent of his usage guised in the name of celebration. For Strawberry, it was a very honest admittance that he let his mother down...and he knew it. But what might be even more heartbreaking is what we never saw—because of Doc and Darryl's addiction to crack, cocaine, and alcohol.

American political satirist, writer, TV host and life long Mets fan, Jon Stewart said, 

I think their legacies will always be….like anything else….any star that didn’t live up to its luster will always be about what could have been. I mean both of those guys should be in Cooperstown. It was like both those guys were made in a laboratory. You want to see the perfect pitcher? It’s Dwight Gooden. You want to see the perfect hitter? It’s Darryl Strawberry.

Other personalities such as their former manager Davey Johnson and baseball writer Tom Verducci weigh in, complimenting Stewart's claim. And then Jon Stewart adds, 

I feel strange being upset that I wasn’t able to witness as much of their greatness as I should have. That’s probably not my heart ache to have…it’s theirs.

If Stewart were to share those poignant words with me personally, I would nod in agreement. It's hard to disagree...and yet I do. 

My fundamental view on professional sports, especially the high profile ones...the sports where the athletes are near celebrities who stand on heroic pedestals (whether they want to or not) is that when our team, our favorite athlete, or our coach succeeds, we all do. When they lose, our hearts break too. In their greatness we applaud them...and in their downfall we cry, and we lose. How can you say it was not the ache of Mets fans...of African American baseball players and fans....or of those who love to see great athletes play a beautiful game? It's both their heart ache and ours.

I think Doc and Darryl is important to watch because it reminds us of an important, though sad truth: Addiction is ever present. Though the viewer will guess that Gooden is still struggling and Strawberry is not, any addict will tell you how dangerous it is to think that addiction is a thing of the past. The narrator says,

It’s right behind Darryl, It’s right behind Doc. Maybe one day one succeeding more than the other. What’s the truth of it? I just know that D&D are tied in OUR Minds…and not in theirs…….

We are all called to live every day, one moment at a time. For addicts in particular there is no other way to live. 

I don't necessarily think that is a sad truth. I think it might even be a beautiful way to live. And the next posting will address that beauty and more, as seen in "Doc and Darryl"

Photo Credits
SI Cover
Doc and Darryl
Today

Beauty and Sadness in Sports and in Spiritual Places Part I: the Oklahoma City National Memorial

The 2015 Pixar hit "Inside Out" is the story of a young girl, Riley Anderson and five personifications of basic human emotions: joy, sadness, fear, disgust and anger. Each one comes to life and influences her actions via a "console" in her mind. As she grows up, her experiences become memories, stored as color orbs, some of which are sent into long-term memory each night. 

But discord erupts as Riley comes to realize all of her core memories are joyful memories, but her move to San Francisco, so far, offers sad ones. She recalls the good times at her childhood home in Minnesota and her love for her family and friends who are now thousands of miles away. She begins to question the purpose of Sadness and strives to keep it away from the console in her mind —the control center for emotions. But as she must learn, sadness is part of life. Riley must accept this hard truth, and an important character Bing Bong helps her understand not only why but how sadness and joy can co-exist, offering a fuller though more complex reality.

Recently, I've thought a lot about a modified plot of "Inside Out." Rather than making room for competing emotions, my mind has been trying to reconcile and recognize how beauty and sadness can walk hand in hand. My trip to the Oklahoma City National Memorial and watching the 30 for 30 "Doc and Darryl" has asked me to understand and appreciate how experiences of each reflect the depth of our humanity.

At the NCEA convention in San Diego last April, administrators from Bishop McGuinness High School asked me if I would be willing to travel to Oklahoma City to speak to their coaching staff. With humility and without reservation, I said "yes." An American Studies major through and through, I truly enjoy visiting the states and cities that comprise our nation, and in particular those of our heartland. My only personal request was to visit the Oklahoma City National Memorial (ok...and play a round of golf with some folks on staff).

A great way to spend the last day of summer for the Bishop McGuinness Athletic Dept and Campus Ministry!

The campus minister and his three daughters accompanied me to the site. In a state that is less than 5% Catholic, I was a little surprised to discover that we pulled into the parking lot of what was once their Cathedral, St. Joseph Catholic Church. At the edge of their property, they added to the Memorial walk with a statue of a despondent Christ. He stands on a podium inscribed with the shortest passage of scripture, John 11:35 And Jesus Wept.

Joe asked me what I already knew about the events of the tragedy. I pieced together a few ideas: ....Timothy McVeigh, who has since been executed drove a Ryder truck....the event took place on April 19, which is Hitler's birthday and the same date (not year) as the events at Columbine.... the federal building also housed a day care center...and young children died in the attack.... I appreciated that he asked me what I knew and wanted me to experience the memorial at my own pace, but together with him and his daughters. I think it's important to encounter a difficult place with others while allowing each individual to walk where and how they need.

Like many memorials, the gates outside still have flowers, rosaries, posters, pictures and mementos honoring those who died that day. Regardless of city, state, or country, remembering the dead in earthy, tactile and personal ways is what we do. 

The memorial spans 3.3 acres of land that once housed the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building. Nine stories tall, it housed offices like the DEA, Social Security Administration, Secret Service, Department of Veteran Affairs and the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, among others. 

The explosion that took 168 lives in that building did not completely destroy it. I learned that the remains of the building were imploded and N.W. 5th Street, where McVeigh parked the truck with its explosives, is now closed. The Reflecting pool in its place "helps soothe wounds; with calming sounds providing a peaceful seating for quiet thoughts." (brochure) 

The space is framed by two bronze walls known as the Gates of Time. As written on the brochure from the museum, 

these monumental twin gates from the moment of destruction—9:02 a.m.—and mark the formal entrances to the Memorial.The East Gate represents 9:01 a.m. on April 19 and the innocence of the city before the attack. The West Gate represents 9:03 a.m., the moment we were changed forever, and the hope that came from the horror in the moments and days following the bombing. 

The magnanimity of space between the Gates of Time symbolizes the shared and open wound of this act of terrorism. And in its architectural design, it conveys a sense that it's not just a city or state that carries this loss, but our nation as well. 

In contrast to the communal message of the reflecting pool, just beside it stands the Field of Empty Chairs. This intensely personal space, again through architecture, captures the catastrophic loss of life.

Each of the 168 chair symbolize a life lost, with smaller chairs representing the 19 children killed. Arranged in nine rows, one for each of the nine floors of the building, they are placed according to the floor on which those killed were working or visiting. Each bronze and stone chair rests on a glass base etched with the name of a victim. By day, the chairs seem to float above their translucent bases. By night, the glass bases illuminate beacons of hope

I had to wonder if this tribute influenced the 9/11 Memorial at the Pentagon in Washington DC.

From the Field of Chairs we moved toward the Survivor's Wall and then the Survivor Tree. Like the Callery Pear tree at the  9/11 Memorial at Ground Zero in Lower Manhattan, the 

90+ year old American elm bears witness to the violence of April 19 and now stands as a profound symbol of human resilience. The message it sends to visitors reads: The spirit of this city and this nation will not be defeated, our deeply rooted faith sustains us. 

Joe who proved to be an outstanding tour guide shared with me that he had taken his family to visit the 9/11 Memorial during their summer travels to New York. Standing underneath OKC's survivor tree we discussed what was moving and significant about each space, as well as a few similarities, e.g. the symbol of the tree, the integration of water, the naming of those killed. I then asked if he had seen, in New York, what a friend pointed out to me. Several women were named along with the words "and her unborn child." 

At that moment I had to turn away. Tears filled my eyes as the gravity of this place had taken its toll. I shifted my gaze back to the survivor tree and looked up under its branches hoping my eyes would absorb the pool of tears.

Joe said "I didn't see that. These places are hard, but even in the midst of sadness, there's beauty in the world." Looking at the full scope of the Memorial, it was very hard to disagree. The beauty of the space, its spirit, and sanctity fill the heart. A heavy heart, but a full one.

Joy and sadness...even beauty and sadness weave the tapestry of our lives. How I wish that places like the Oklahoma City National Memorial did not exist. But they do and though the tragedy of the events must be remembered, I thank God that beauty helps us along the way.

The next posting will feature the beauty and sadness of the stories of two baseball greats: Dwight "Doc" Gooden and Darryl Strawberry.

Photo Credits
Inside Out

NatsMass 2.0

I hope what I'm about to write isn't a total shock to you. Unfortunately, you don't hear about it often enough, but I'd like to share an important truth.  The Catholic Church meets people where they are. It's been the message of Francis' pontificate in word and in deed. But, I know long before this Jesuit became the Holy Father, the Catholic Church was showing up in the streets, homes and ballparks of the faithful.

Ballparks? That's right. And, I'm not referring to the many teams, like my alma mater, that have a chaplain that travels with certain (shall we say high profile?) teams. In fact, I'm not even talking about the Church tending to the spiritual needs of athletes. No, like the call of the Good Shepherd to tend to it's flock, the Catholic Church is tending to Washington Nationals baseball fans and their Sunday obligation in what is known as NatsMass. Nats colors of red and blue, jerseys sporting your favorite player and prayers for good sportsmanship are required. 

The website of the host parish, St. Vincent de Paul in South East, Washington DC  reports

Sunday @ Noon on game-days. 
Our parish is proud to serve game-goers who want to worship God and enjoy our nation's pastime. Join fellow fans for Sunday Mass before the game and enjoy the short walk over to the stadium in plenty of time for the 1:35 PM first pitch.
We're one-block from the center-field Gate at Nats Park -- half-a-block from Navy Yard Metro (exit: Half Street) -- at South Capitol and M Streets, SE 

I was thrilled to discover my annual August visit to our nation's capital coincided with not only a chance to see the San Francisco Giants play the Washington Nationals, but another chance to attend NatsMass. Last year, I shared the Good News of NatsMas with friends, students, colleagues pretty much anyone who would listen. Aware that my enthusiasm might have been overblown or over-hyped, I was anxious to discover if it was as special as I remember it to be. Fortunately, I was not disappointed.

My brother and I pulled into the parking lot only to find an Eritrean community considers SVdP its home church. A country of 6 million people, the great distance runner Mebrahtom "Meb" Keflezighi, is their native son. A naturalized citizen of the US since 1998, Meb is competing for his first Olympic gold medal in the marathon. He is the only marathoner in history to have won the Boston Marathon, the New York Marathon and an Olympic medal! With this simple encounter, I was reminded that the Olympics has a way of connecting us to others.

Once inside the church, I noticed that my brother and I were the only fans sporting colors of the enemy. I suppose if it were an appropriate venus for talking trash, I might have reminded folks about 2014 (I still can't believe we won NLDS) or asked a mother and daughter both wearing a navy blue "Span #2" jersey who they were cheering for. Denard Span, signed by the Giants in January, is our starting centerfielder. My take away from the NatsMass faithful is that Bryce Harper is by far the town favorite. Harper, also known as "Bam-Bam," was taken as the number one pick in the overall draft by the Nats in 2010.

Also a fan of a shorter mass, the pastor reverently moved through the order of the mass with a haste. He even joked that if it ran long, it's because the readings—the Gospel in particular—was lengthy. I love a presider with not only a good sense of humor, but an awareness of time. I wondered if the game of baseball might not learn a thing or two from his leadership.

The prayers he offered in the spirit of NatsMass were exemplary for how all athletes and coaches should pray together. During the intentions, he asked for the health and safety of all athletes and fans. He prayed that both teams demonstrate their God given talents for all to enjoy. He offered his prayers in a spirit of true sportsmanship, and at the conclusion of the Mass, he thanked everyone for coming to his parish and participating in NatsMass. Father Andy was sincere and kind in his gratitude, as his parish stands in a neighborhood that might otherwise, not have a crowd of this size at noon mass. I looked at my watch and saw that NatsMass ran all of but 40 minutes. We had nearly one hour until the first pitch. 

The late Yogi Berra, is known not only for his Hall of Fame career as a Yankee, but his pithy quotes and sayings. They stay with us because in their irony, they reveal a truth.  He said, "If people don't want to come out to the ball park, nobody's gonna stop 'em." Too often, I think about those who don't come out to the Church. It's disheartening to sit in a beautiful church that's nearly empty. I think of the souls who sat, prayed, listened to the word of God before me. I hope people will be there after me, too. But, nobody is stopping people from staying home or, rather going straight to the ballpark or their other Sunday obligations. But NatsMass presents a viable and warm alternative. We can say yes, to the Word, the Eucharist and the Nats faithful. 

Yogi said "When you come to a fork in the road, take it." This fork—at South Capitol and M Streets is worth taking.

Photo Credits
Pope Francis
SVdP
Harper fan

A Case for the Away Game

I love the away game....sitting in enemy territory...being that fan that stands out of the crowd for their opposing colors or cheers. And my annual service trip to the Romero Center in Camden NJ afforded twelve students, two fellow teachers and me the timely opportunity to watch our San Francisco Giants take on the Philadelphia Phillies at Citizen's Bank Park. Many of my students remarked that they had never seen the Giants on the road. They were excited to experience the unique traditions of another team, to determine how "The Bank" compares with AT&T Park, what Philly fans are like, what they do with the Liberty Bell right of centerfield...and of course who or what the Phanatic appears to be. 

Through their eyes, I was reminded that there is much to gain from the away game. We enter in with fresh eyes and must modify our listening skills. Even though a respectable number of fans donned orange and black, the roar of the crowd wasn't in our favor. I know many people who plan summer travels in and around exciting cities where their hometown team will play.Summer vacation is an ideal time to visit another Major League Ballpark and take in a road game. But I will not let this idea be limited to sports. I have always believed the notion of attending an "away game" applies to our faith as well.

For most people, teachers in particular, summer is a wonderful break from the daily grind of work. We all need rest and relaxation. Time away from both home and work is a welcome thing. But I have never understood how or why people view vacation as a time to take a break from our faith. If anything, we should have more time for prayer or service work. I know for a fact that parishes don't stop hosting mass in the summer. In fact, many of those located in popular summer destinations count on out of town visitors. And much like my appreciation of attending the away game in Major League baseball, I have always enjoyed visiting other parishes throughout the country. 

The view from behind the altar at St. Francis

Growing up, my family went to Tahoe the first week of August every summer. Given the view from inside of St. Francis of Assisi Catholic Church in Incline Village, it was hard to complain about the Sunday obligation. It was also impossible not to be prayerful and feel grateful for the beauty of God's creation known as Lake Tahoe while listening to the Gospel.

A popular summer spot for many people from the Bay Area, I remember attending mass in anticipation of who my family might run into. always enjoyed wondering who we might run into at Mass up in Lake Tahoe every summer. I never knew if the priest was going to have us stand and share with the congregation where we were from (always felt a little awkward). I gained a glimpse what different churches valued and promoted and with what issues they struggled. I didn't need to know that Catholic means "universal" in order to understand how that spirit applies to my faith. 

There's more value to attending an away Mass...a roadie....and even standing out in the crowd that one might anticipate. I encourage any family or individual who is traveling for what's left of our summer, to make the little effort that it takes to find the away game Mass. No one loses...everyone wins.*** (99% of the time. blog posting on this to come).

Photo Credits
St. Francis

The Faces of Hunger

"Hunger is an assault on human dignity."

I found myself professing these words as we concluded our first night of the Urban Challenge at Romero Center in Camden, NJ. I fail to see in country such as ours, given the extent of our wealth and of resources, how people—too many people—go hungry on a daily basis. To think that children grow up in food insecure homes and the elderly are at a great risk of it, begs the question: why. Why do we allow our brothers and sisters to go without food? How can we help? Working at Virtua Hospital, an extension of the Food Bank of South Jersey provided me with a little more insight into this query. To me, the reality is we don't see or know the face of hunger.

Like me, many people's encounter with hunger is limited to a soup kitchen. St. Anthony's in the Tenderloin neighborhood of San Francisco or Cathedral Kitchen in North Camden offer us a likely glimpse of a hungry person. He or she is chronically homeless. Quite often they are a human being down on their luck. Perhaps it's a bad time of the month for this individual as their check just ran out. Their resources are tapped. But this view is very short sighted...or at least that's what I realized as we prepared 3,000 ham and cheese sandwiches and 1,500 chicken salad sets for school children in and around South Jersey. Knowing that so much food was being prepared for so many people made me reconsider that face of hunger.

During the school year, millions of American school children get free breakfast and lunch at their school (known as the National School Lunch Program or NLSP). Thanks to government program, these kids are not only less hungry during the day, they are able to learn because their minds and bodies are nourished. The summer months however present an ardent challenge. However, the good news is that food banks nationwide have responded creatively. They distribute bags with healthy meals and snacks tat libraries, day camps, public pools and from food trucks of another kind. 

I have never seen the children who receive these meals. I do not know this face of hunger...and yet, I do. Seeing in this case is believing. I saw the food we prepared in a seven-hour shift. I met the volunteers who show up weekly, giving of their time and talents to make sure the dignity of thousands of children is respected through a simple and tasty meal.

The beautiful logo of Cathedral Kitchen

This unseen face of hunger challenged me to think differently about who she or he is. What does she or he look like? Where is their dignity respected? How is it compromised?

The Blessed Mother Teresa talked about this unseen face of hunger. She knew first hand that millions of people go hungry on a daily basis, but she also knew what she could do for them. She could give them a hot meal or a cool cup of water. The article "Fr. Bob Fabing, SJ, to Sing for Mother Teresa Toward Sainthood" explains more. 

When Fr. Fabing explained his ministry doing therapy and spiritual direction at the Jesuit Institute for Family Life and at the Jesuit Retreat Center of Los Altos (formerly known as El Retiro), Mother Teresa told him that his job was harder than hers. “I asked her what she meant, and she said that the poverty I dealt with was deeper than the poverty she faced. ‘I can take a bowl of rice downstairs and give it to someone in the street, but it’s harder for you to get a smile out of the people you serve,’ she told me.”

She called us to encounter those who are hungry for love, for meaning, for community, beauty and truth. These hungers are hard to see. We may not know who in our communities, in my classroom and on my team is hungry for acceptance. Who is longing for forgiveness? Who among us hungers for true intimacy—with Christ and with another person? 

Both faces of hunger are an assault on human dignity, and both present their own challenges. First, we must see, hear, touch and hold them. We have the resources and the talents to end each one. This is my prayer for today. Blessed Mother Teresa....Pray for us.