From Notre Dame Stadium to the Pew: The Power of Presence

This is not a blog post I’ve been eager to write. I try to use this space to share messages that are hopeful, uplifting, and meaningful. Sure, I have my gripes—but I usually keep those close to the vest... or the water cooler.

But there’s a question I feel compelled to raise, and I think you have an answer: Have you ever been to a game where a singular fan, compromised your entire experience? Have a group of fans ever detracted from your enjoyment of the game? Have you ever been subjected to rude, boorish, or selfish behavior by someone cheering for the same team as you—a fellow fan?

Sadly, I fear that too many of us can answer "yes." The purpose of this post however isn't to castigate fans in 2025. I don't want to play the "it never used to be this way" game—although that might be true. No, I hope that you will read and consider the power that you as a fan have and will use it for good.

My friend Steve gave me an early Christmas present: a pre-game field pass for the Notre Dame game at Stanford Stadium on Saturday, November 29. To stand behind just feet from the entire team—ranked 9th in the nation—and on their level is amazing. Although you might not have the vantage of those who are perched from above, the energy and excitement is palpable—it's electric. Just before kick-off, I walked approximately 20 rows up to my seat and joined my friend Charlie. He noted that our section had been standing since he arrived. A few minutes into the game, the crowd around us took their seats and cheered loudly. We stood up, we sat down. We exchanged high fives. The blue, gold and green drowned out the Cardinal red. Clearly, this is was not enemy territory. 

I stood next to DeShone Kizer on the field and didn't recognize him until it was too late.
I would have loved talking to him about "A Season with ND Football."

The young man sitting in front of us was an enthusiastic fan. He stood every single time the Irish had possession of the ball or when defense made a great play. However, the problem with this gesture is that in order to see the game, we had to stand as well. If we stood, those behind us would need to do the same. Think of this as a different type of wave, and an unnecessary one. 

Charlie politely tapped him on the shoulder and said "excuse me, but when you stand, we can't see. Do you mind sitting down?" This fan retorted, "I do. I'm not going to sit. I'm going to stand when I want to." I listened in disbelief. I thought to myself, "maybe he didn't understand what we were asking." I tapped him on the shoulder and said "I'm sorry, it's just that your view is unobstructed (there was no one sitting in front of him from an angled sight line). When others stand or if someone else is standing—go for it. But you're the only person who stands and that means we can't see the play. We're happy to switch seats with you if that helps."

I was calm and hoped our simple request made sense. He shook his head and said, "I'm not moving seats. And I'm not going to stay seated. I'm going to stand when I want. That's what I'm going to do."

I have never heard another fan speak with such defiance. I would have said, "I am so sorry. Of course. No problem." While that might be too accommodating, I know I would have listened and at the very least found some middle ground.

Charlie shook his head. He told me to let it go as we turned our head to watch the plays on the Jumbotron. 

I tapped this man on the shoulder once more. I don't know from where this came but I said "Please don't cheer for Notre Dame." He looked at me quizzically. I asked "Are you an alum? Are you a current student?" He shook his head, "no." I said "Well, I'm an alum and I would rather that you not cheer for the Irish. What you are doing does not resonate with the values of the University. Don't cheer for the Irish. Please don't." I sat down.

In the words of Thomas Magnum "I know what you're thinking" and you're right. This story doesn't end well. He dug his heels in. He became almost more defiant by standing more and sitting less. 

This fan soured my experience; I would be lying if I said I could shake it off.  I wish he wasn't cheering for ND. The whole thing was disappointing and disrespectful.Very unfortunate.

Marcus Freeman's first game as Head Coach, January 2022

It could have been different. I say that because I know it’s true—I’ve lived it. On September 18, my friend Bill and I joined my aunt, uncle, cousin, her husband, and their four kids for the Purdue game at Notre Dame Stadium. Sitting together in two rows, we made quite an impression on the people around us.

With under two minutes left in the second quarter, play stopped because of lightning. Rain followed. We waited under the overhang for nearly two hours, then returned to our seats for the second half. While a third of the crowd didn’t come back, I noticed those around me were actually talking about my family. A couple of men picked up on the fact that my Uncle Jay has an uncommon knowledge of the game. They noticed how he explained a few of the rulings on the field in great detail. One of them inquired about it only to learn that my Uncle Jay was a Pac 10/12 referee for 35 years. Whether in the classroom or on the field, my Uncle Jay has always been someone who instructs, informs, and helps others. That’s who he was as a teacher and principal, and who he was wearing the white hat.

I love watching games with my Uncle Jay. Yes, I'm an info hound—I do love to gain clarity and comprehension—but he is incredibly spirited, too. He is locked in when the clock is ticking and helping others when it stops. I grew up watching him on the field work games. In his retirement, I have only benefitted from his presence in the stands. I am proud to say that others have too.

But Jay wasn't the only force for good in this crowd. My Uncle Jay's daughter Jodi—my cousin and her husband CW have four children. These fifth through eighth graders, have been raised to cheer for the Irish. To their credit, they did so until the final whistle. They understood the play calls, cheered at all the right times, and were held up for push-ups after a touchdown. It was a long day, but their enthusiasm, attention, and youthful energy were fun to share. They made a great game even better. Young fans have power, too.

The question I raise for fans is one about presence. Whether we are at a sporting event, a movie, a concert or show we have the ability to make a positive presence on the places and spaces we inhabit—including sacred ones. Are you aware of this?

I attend 8:00 a.m. every Sunday at St. Vincent de Paul parish. Because of its early start time, most of the congregation is comprised of elderly people and families with very young children (they get up early as it is!). Of course all are welcome, and I know the spirit of hospitality is important—but it is not with a sense of "do whatever you want" or "everything is okay."

I believe that because of an experience I had recently. A mother and her teenage daughter sat next to me and talked at a low whisper throughout both readings and the Gospel. The only time they refrained from chatting was when they sang. 

I glanced over a few times—giving that teacher look I’ve mastered over 25 years. They noticed but kept at it. During the homily, I held my gaze a little longer. Still nothing. In hindsight, I should have removed myself rather than hope something would change.

ND Football Chaplain, Father Nate Wills, C.S.C. offers a prayerful presence on the sidelines. 

When their conversation continued through the consecration, I couldn’t stay silent. I leaned over and said, “Do you mind not talking? I’m trying to focus and pray.”

My request was met with utter disgust. Both mother and daughter looked at me as though I were committing an unthinkable offense, a stranger daring to disturb their world. 

I stood frozen in fear that I would be the reason this young woman would stop going to church in the future. Perhaps she would say "this woman in church asked me to stop talking. How rude." I was that woman. I am that woman. And sadly, I shouldn't be the one apologizing.

I offer this message in contrast to what a woman once said to my brother as they were leaving Mass. She tapped him on the shoulder and said "I just want to say thank you for helping me pray better." Mark said "thank you" and paused. She added "Your prayerful presence really helped me to be still and hear the Word." 

I love that she thought to say this to my brother. She named for him the giftedness and grace of a positive presence. No words or money required. Truly we have the power for good.

I won't tell you what I said to the girlfriend of the guy who continued to stand during the game, but I can assure you that in the future, I will be thanking fans who make the experience even better.

Photo Credits
Kizer and Freeman

Agony and Ecstasy: Take-Aways from Notre Dame vs. USC

I don't have high blood pressure. 93 over 60 is on the low side. That being said, I am certain that my numbers were far different on Saturday, November 30, 2024 when I saw Notre Dame defeat USC 49-35  at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. Attending this historic rivalry game is both a blessing and an agonizing experience. I find myself confronting interesting questions, important ones. Am I glutton for pain? Is it worth it? Why do I care? The purpose of this post is to offer but a few insights to which all sports fan can relate both in the positive and the negative. And the next time I see you, I hope you will add, amend and acknowledge some truth in it all.

It's personal.
I won't apologize. I can't. I hate USC. I didn't go to Cal or to UCLA. I'm a Notre Dame grad. We share this sentiment. The reasons for our shared disdain are abundant, but I'm supposed to take some high road (so I've been told) so I'll keep it brief. 

To a large degree, I have inherited these strong sentiments. My Dad and my uncle can't stand the Trojans. It's not for the infamous moniker "University of Spoiled Children" as much as it is for the number of National Championships they have cost ND. To their credit, they have great athletes who manifest their two word slogan: Fight On.

However, I don't like their athletes, their ethos or the way that they play. Chippy is one way to describe it. Furthermore, I do not appreciate that their fans boo the visiting team upon entering and exiting the field (at the start of the game, at the half, etc). That is unsportsmanlike conduct. Their is no penalty, except for the fact it speaks volumes about their character. I don't know what I would do if my team did that as a regular practice; it is not okay.

I know many alumni who are loud and proud of their school; I get that. Notre Dame alums are no different....but we are.

Quite the Headache
Unfortunately, I arrived on campus with a headache. No, I was not hungover. Despite taking three Advil, the discomfort did not subside. I found it symbolic. The USC marching band was directly across the stadium from where we were sitting. At times, I could hear my head pounding to the relentless beat of that drum. 

Their fight song is incessant. It seems to pause for but a few announcements and media spotlights. The Coliseum does play popular hype songs, but these are even interrupted for the band to play "Fight on." It's not hard to imagine the men of Troy going to war with that soundtrack in the background. I have always wondered if students and alumni appreciate it. Trojans: weigh in, please!

Number 13
Regular readers of this blog know that I am not a Caleb Williams fan. In fact, I actively root against him in the NFL for a multitude of reasons—again, which I have blogged about before. I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw his return on the field for the retirement of his jersey. A transfer from Oklahoma, Williams played but two years for the Trojans. He won a Heisman. during his first year with the team and early on in his second year was supposed to win it again. Jayden Daniels took the prize.

Yes, he was the number one pick in the 2023 NFL draft. He holds a number of personal records and as written on the USC Trojans football website he "was instrumental in successfully turning around a program that went 4-8 in the 2021 season to an 11-3 team in 2022." But in his second season, the Trojans underperformed; they finished 8 and 5. There is room to celebrate individual achievements and success, but last time I checked football is a team sport. Some call it the ultimate team sport. I question the decision to retire his jersey this soon. You might not agree...it's certainly up for debate.

Speaking of debate...
We live in a new era of college sports. Once known as student-athletes, many of these young men and women are not amateurs. While they may not earn a salary, many—not all—receive compensation via booster gifts, agreements with companies to utilize their names, images, and likeness, and endorse products. They can also earn money through corporate sponsorships and support from other sources. In light of this reality, I have started to wonder, Given that these athletes are paid, should they be fined for the penalties they commit on the field?  And should the ND Assistant Coach who was penalized for unsportsmanlike conduct get one, too?

I ask this question because as written on NFL Football Operations page, "The NFL uses the fine schedule to outline the league’s and the union’s expectations for players to conduct themselves in a way that honors the sport and respects the game, themselves, their fellow players, the fans and the league. The rules are intended to protect the players from unnecessary risk, promote player safety and emphasize sportsmanship and respect of teammates, opponents, coaches, officials and fans." I find the entire system and pay structure fascinating. Check it out. 

Actions have consequences and given what is at stake, I'm not convinced a financial penalty isn't worth further consideration. The fighting between OSU and Michigan this past weekend brings this into a new light. Still, if you find my question ridiculous or inappropriate, I understand. On some level it is and yet, the sheer amount of money swimming/driving/fueling the ecosystem of college football is too. 

Notable Change
NIL hasn't just changed the face of college sports for just the athletes, but it has shifted the apparel of the fans as well. In the past, all jerseys included but the school name and number. On Saturday, I couldn't help but take inventory of who wore what. Notable examples include:
#5 Te'0, #7 Estime, #9 Zibikowski, and of course #10 Hartman. 

It's nearly antithetical to Irish football to have names on the jersey (minus the Shamrock Series and the Bowl game) but they are for sale! I don't have strong opinions against them, it's just a trend in this new era. But so are the all white uniforms ND wore. To quote my friend, Andy "I don't hate the uniforms." How I love a good double negative.

Both Pick-Sixes happened right in front of our eyes.
This was taken after Xavier Watts ran the ball 99 yards for a TD securing the W

Accentuate the Positive
In spite of the agony, the ecstasy came in the form of not one but two pick-sixes late in the game leading the Irish to victory. Winning in enemy territory is never easy, especially at the Coliseum. It is always something to celebrate. Yes, we were hyped. See photo above.

Furthermore, a football game in Southern California in late November? Not too bad. It was sunny and 75 with a beautiful skyline. I loved the time with friends—making new memories— and interacting with other fans.

USC knows pageantry. Yes, I will complain about the band, but their uniforms, Trigger, and some of the on field recognitions are very impressive. For example, they acknowledged two USC grads who are members of the World Series Championship team, the LA Dodgers. Congratulations to Kyle Hurt and Mark Prior. Totally makes sense that you would be acknowledged at a game. Well played USC, well deserved gentlemen.

One of my favorite parts of the weekend was the Mass at Our Savior Parish and USC Caruso Catholic Center cohosted by the USC and ND Club of Los Angeles Alumni Associations. As stated on their website, it "is a home for Trojans of all ages who wish to learn and live out their Catholic faith." The Church was beautiful and in a modified round seating. The music was prayerful, the preaching was powerful (thanks to visiting co-presider Father Bob Dowd, C.S.C, the President of the University of Notre Dame). They have space adjacent to the church for communal gatherings, featuring indoor and outdoor seating. If I were at a student at USC, I would be drawn to this spiritual home. It is a gift to the larger Church. Thank you, Rick Caruso.

In Conclusion
I always debate whether or not to go to this game—every other Thanksgiving weekend. I know what I'm in for emotionally, financially, personally and even physically. Nothing is scripted. There are no guarantees. However, a chance to see my team in person, to spend time with dear friends and share Mass, a meal and a game?! So many blessings. Those are the numbers worth counting.

Photo Credits
White Uniforms
Our Savior/Caruso Center

The Juice Box: Featuring Fred Warner

A colleague recently told me about a new podcast. I like it so much I almost feel like I have a new friend. I want the people I care about to "meet" my new show. So for you, Sports and Spirituality readers, I'm excited to make the introduction. Meet Pod Quad. 

Hosted by two Holy Cross priests, Fathers Pete McCormick, C.S.C. and Nate Wills, C.S.C. are real friends "having curiosity conversations with interesting people. Talking about life.” The title is a nod to where that happens at a place like Notre Dame: on the Quad. I want the creators and any new listeners to know, although I am over 2000 miles from campus and live amidst the urban sprawl of San Francisco, their message resonates with me. In other words, the quad is not required. Furthermore, I'm so invested in their show, I have  found myself answering the final question for myself. I would like the hosts to know I get a whole lot of juice from Sports and Spirituality.. And juice this week has come from the Niners win over the New England Patriots on Sunday, September 29. I'll give the squeeze in a bit. 

The format works. Although Pod Quad is but a few episodes in, it is a delight to listen to and learn from their guests. They conclude each interview with the question “What's one piece of wisdom that you've received that you think would be awesome just to share with Pod Quad Nation?” While those nuggets are always meaningful, what leaves me hanging is their final question. 

Father Nate says,

And so now this segment, we close out the Pod Quad here with a little segment we like to call the Juice Box, which is where we talk about what gave us juice from that conversation.

Pete, how would you define juice?

Man, juice is, you can look this up in the dictionary. Juice ultimately is a vigor for life, a passion, a new insight, perspective that just gets amped up. And so what we're doing is honoring that in this way with some very tasty apple juice.

But at the same time, to be able to remind us all, like, yo, what are the things in your conversations, in your lives that are ultimately bringing you juice and how can you bring that into your world more broadly?”

I've never been partial to juice.I don't start my day with an OJ in hand. I don't own a juicer. A day without coffee is criminal, but a day without juice? No problem...and yet, I love this metaphor. This question gets me fired up—What gives you juice? 

Juice has flavor—lots of it! Juice makes things sweeter. The Juice Box has given me a way to understand and appreciate events, ideas, insights and sharing that fits their description.

Sitting in the Boston airport, I relished watching the Niners in enemy territory. In what appeared to be a beautiful day at Levi's Stadium, I couldn't help but cheer when I saw that once again Niners linebacker Fred Warner was the main squeeze. He was outstanding in Game two against the Vikings (some fans said he was the only Niner who played well that day) and his pick-six in the second quarter of this game made me wonder: Do I need to get a jersey with #54 on it?! But what made this play so memorable was not only his feat, but the reaction from the fans. Kendall Baker of Yahoo Sports, featured Warner's interception for a TD in his Baker's Dozen as one of the "Top Plays of the Weekend." Watch his clip here.

I love his defensive genius. I love Warner's vision, speed and his heart. But I also love what the camera reveals: the viewer gets confirmation of the TD and then a panorama of the response from fans in the stands. In this sea of gold are two men in their turbans next to others in a baseball caps. Women, men and even children are standing and clapping. Football is flawed, but it's also one of the greatest games. It's emotional, it's heart, it's thrilling.  There's just so much juice to squeeze. Even thinking about it now gets the juices flowing.

So give to others what Father Pete and Father Nick have given us—a place and a space for a curiosity conversation. Talk to someone you admire or respect. Ask them for their best piece of advice. Reflect upon what you have learn. You might walk away with a juice box in hand. 

Photo Credits
Fist bump
Pod Quad convo
Icon
Pick-Six

True Confession: I am a Geno Auriemma Fan

I know exactly when it happened and why. I didn't want to admit to myself that the  contempt I held—that colored my vision and my language—was fading.  That disdain? it's gone. I haven't turned back. Maybe I have softened, but  I have now find affection, respect and admiration for a man I once identified as an arch-enemy (one, two or three). And I believe it's time that I profess this publicly: I am a Geno Auriemma fan.

Luigi "Geno" Auriemma, more often known as "Geno" has been the head coach of the UConn women's basketball team for 35 years. He has led the Huskies to 11 NCAA National Championships, several at the expense of my beloved team, the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame. Furthermore, it is no secret that Muffet McGraw, the head coach of the Irish women's team has no lost love for Geno. In case this was remotely unclear, read what Sally Jenkins of the Washington Post wrote in the article Muffet McGraw, Geno Auriemma: "These Two Plain Don't Like Each Other." I am team Muffet. With two NCAA National Championships to her name, she was the coach when I was a student and continues to march onward to victory, with over 900 wins to her name.

This photo is a lie.

In 2016, a good friend of mine—the varsity football coach at St. Ignatius, shared a video clip of Geno talking about the importance of body language. John said he found it refreshing to hear a coach articulate so clearly what is important. I encourage you to see for yourself , if you haven't already. You won't misunderstand what Geno says; he is pointed and he is principled. If only more coaches were, too....

He declared “We put a huge premium on body language, and if your body language is bad, you will never get in the game. EVER,” he said. “I don't care how good you are.” 

I shared this video clip with my students in the context of a conversation on the importance of body language. I wasn't sure how they would respond. The first thing I heard from a student was "I love it." I wanted to hug that kid that very moment. 

I have continued to pay attention to Geno's words—or is "rant" a more fitting term?— any time I get word of a new one. Just this past week, Auriemma took issue with what he said was a conference request to skip the postgame tradition of shaking hands in order to prevent potential coronavirus spreading. According to the New York Post,

When asked about it following UConn’s 79-38 win over South Florida on Sunday, Auriemma ripped into the new policy. 

“The conference has a policy that you can’t shake hands after games. Well, we did today anyway,” said Auriemma, whose team advanced to the American Conference Tournament championship against Cincinnati with the win. “Our men played Houston the other day. They sweated on each other for two hours and then they weren’t allowed to shake hands. 

“Our assistant, Sarah, her son is a wrestler,” he added. “They wrestled for I don’t know how long on this dirty mat and they go, ‘no shaking hands.’ I mean, come on … Don’t get me started.”

The Coronavirus has led to confusion and mild pandemonium. Clearly we are roaming amidst uncharted territory. What seems most important right now is prudence. Known as the queen of all virtues, prudence is not cautious calculation but practical wisdom -- recognizing and making the right choice in specific situations. No time like the present.

I believe Geno's logic is on point. We ought to realize that athletic contests are joint ventures in the exchange of germs in the form of sweat, passing/sharing the same equipment, contact in close quarters—the locker room, bus and the bench and player-to-player contact. Athletes high five one another. They fist bump, toe tap, butt slap, and even butt heads, intentionally. To take precaution in the form of eliminating a hand shake seems far fetched. You go Geno. That ritual is an important way to conclude a game. It's a shared part of our humanity. We are tasked to look at our opponent, say "thank you" or "good game." Other times, we might not want to say a single thing. If the game must go on, let it go on with integrity.

However, nearly a week has passed since Geno's comment. We know the COVID-19 has presented a much different reality. At this point, most games have been cancelled. There will be no need to shake hands following an athletic contest for we will table those until further notice.

Geno is a straight shooter. I understand the exasperation he often brings to his interview. It's not for everyone but my ear loves it. Brian Murphy of KNBR said "A pissed off East Coast guy is so much better, more effective than a west coach pissed off guy." I agree, I do find him entertaining but more often than not, I find prophetic. I appreciate that he uses his platform as a coach to speak about trends in sports, the character of athletes, problems in our culture that need to be aired, etc. Some might say he is old school, but that might not be a bad thing. Old school can mean—honest, diligent, industrious, and non-individualistic. 

Finally, for a non-pissed off Geno, watch his tribute to Kobe and Gianna Bryant from the Staples Center. My very favorite part of his speech is when he goes off script and recalls the time Gigi met the University of Oregon women's team. He took notice of her reaction when asked if she wanted her photo taken with them. I have a feeling he would have said the same.

Photo Credits
Coach
Muffet and Geno

Reflections on: 18 For 2018

My good friend Erin has given me many gifts—an introduction to Spring Lake, NJ, most of my beloved Dunkin' Donuts paraphernalia, and a sporty pair of shoes replete with interlocking ND—but her greatest is one that has done what it claims to do: make your life a little happier. In June of this year she wrote, "I wanted to let you know I’m dipping my toe into the podcast world! Have you listened to Happier with Gretchen Rubin? She’s the one who wrote The Happiness Project that I scoffed at for many years but finally read and loved. She has a podcast with her sister with all sorts of fun and interesting tidbits. Check it out, I’ll be curious if it’s up your alley!" 

I listen to several podcasts and this one ranks among my favorites. I've been inspired and integrated many of their recommendations—one of which is the idea behind this posting. 

In Episode 199 "Evaluate Your '18 for 2018' List," Gretchen and her sister/cohost Elizabeth Craft reviewed the 18 goals they set for 2018. I am going to set 19 for 2019, but for this final posting of the year, I will offer 18 accomplishments and actions that occurred and that...made my life a little happier. I hope you might consider a few to make your 2019 a little happier, too.

1. Listen(ed) to Happier
I had to start here. Without listening to the podcast, this list wouldn't exist. It's one thing to receive a recommendation and another to implement it. As with anything, consider the source of the rec. and take the appropriate action.

2. The creation of: Sports and Spirituality Synopsis 
The Sports and Spirituality development of 2018 in which I take the most pride. This bi-weekly resource is for coaches, athletic directors, parents and athletes who are seeking tools for athletic ministry. It's free! You can subscribe through my blog (box is one the side panel). Please share it with others!

3. Read Qaddafi's Point Guard
An easy read and a pressing one. This is the story of Alex Owumi, a Nigerian native who emigrated to the United States at age 11. Owumi's exploits on the basketball court led him to a successful career as a small college player. Undrafted by the NBA, he pursued his pro basketball dream overseas, eventually signing with Al-Nasr of Libya, a state-run athletic club privately funded by the family of then-Libyan president Muammar Qaddafi. 

Owumi's tenure with Al-Nasr was interrupted by the Libyan uprising and resulting civil war. Imprisoned in his Benghazi apartment for more than 2 weeks with no food, phone, Internet, or hope, Owumi wondered whether he would make it out of Libya alive. His faith in Jesus Christ was a source of strength and sustenance that you must read to understand.

4. Listen(ed) to Why Sports Matter
A great resource for deepening your awareness and appreciation for how story can deepen our spirituality. One of the best stories I have ever heard came to me through this new podcast. Read more here.

5. Ate an Apple a Day
Thanks to FIERCE, I was ever more encouraged to use Advent as a time to prepare for the coming of Christ. I set nutritional, spiritual and physical goals and used the on-line journal to hold myself accountable. Eating an apple a day is a good nutritional habit and an easy one. I haven't seen a doctor in a long time...

6. See(ing) Your Team in Enemy Territory
Attending a game "on the road" or as a guest sharpens your vision—as a spectator. The simple compare and contrast that occurs from entering into enemy territory has enhanced my experience as a fan and faithful follower of the Irish...the Giants...etc. AND, winning in someone else's house? Not bad.

It really was this beautiful out.

7. Attend(ed) a game at your high school
In September, I returned to Winton Drive to see the De La Salle vs Bishop Gorman football game. I went to see the Spartans play on Owen Owens field for four straight years when I was in high school. It was good to be back—even though some things have changed, a whole lot hasn't.

8. Play Together
Whatever sport you play and practice, include others. Invite new people to join you. Play often, play alone...but play together with your children, nieces and nephews, aunts and uncles, your team, your friends, your frenemies. Something transformative can happen in the act of play....

9. Play(ed) Dominos
Like cards, there seems to be an infinite number of games one can play with dominos. You can play games with one person or many more. Dominos are easy to transport—play indoors or outside. Play with the young and the old. Play for money or pride, or both!

10. Practice(d) with a Friend
Critical to becoming a great golfer is the willingness, the discipline and the wherewithal to practice. This is true for any sport, activity or passion you pursue. I have told my own golfers that if they aren't partial to practice, they must trick themselves into doing so. Listen to music, set up a schedule or for me what it takes is to practice with a friend. I did. The time goes by so much faster.

11. Got the Best Kind of InsuranceIt's possible that I might need more excitement in my life, but in March of this year I paid what I consider to best the best insurance possible. While most people get insurance for that can go wrong, I got it for what I hope goes right. I now pay $4 a quarter? a year? for what is known as hole-in-one insurance. Should I get one, I won't be paying the bar bill. I would like to thank the Olympic Club in advance....we'll see.

12. Find our the athletic heroes of your heroes/favorite athletes of your favorite athletes
I was not surprised that George W. Bush Presidential museum in Dallas featured his love for baseball. However, I was surprised to learn that his favorite baseball player was Willie Mays. I am always interested in learning who inspires others. To know that W values the Say Hey Kid...San Francisco's own, made me respect 43 in a new way!

13. Celebrate an Achievement
I did not grow up in a home where we toot our own horns. Our personal achievements have always been viewed as something we ourselves, should enjoy and hold as intrinsically valuable. I'm glad my parents value humility, however, once in a while, it's ok to go for it. That's why when I hit my first Eagle, on the Lake Course of the Olympic Club in January, I let it be known. I hope to have many more...I might not. Great venue to get this done! Still celebrating...

14. Give Blood
I write for Genesis, the alumni magazine of St. Ignatius College Prep, where I teach. My favorite article to pen this past year was about our annual blood drive, organized by the Block Club. I learned so much about the importance of giving blood and the selfless and priceless gift given by countless student athletes, coaches, teachers and others thanks to the mobile blood bank. To find out where and how you can give blood, look here.

15. Breathing as Prayer
It is still difficult to think about the extent of death and destruction caused by the wildfires in northern and southern California. We continue remember those who lost so much in our prayers.  One of the most meaningful ways I have since prayed is breathing as prayer. This spiritual discipline resonates with young and old. 

16. Make a List
A friend told me that his father made a t0-do list every single day. If you were to review his planner, you would see the same item at the top of the list... every single day. Can you guess? Yes, #1 said: make a list. This action ensured some sort of success. After all, momentum begets momentum. I will begin my "19 for 2019" list when I finish this blog!

17. Take a lesson
I don't know a person who can't benefit from some sort of instruction—a spiritual director, a personal trainer, a life coach or in my case, a golf coach. Another person with skill, wisdom, acumen and insight can see what we cannot. If you want to get better, consult another. Even the best golfers in the world have coaches. I took lessons knowing this is how it has to be...that is, if I want to get better. And I do.

18. Pray and Practice with Purpose!
I continue to reference and speak from my book, published in 2017. I am grateful for the people I have met because of this resource and I hope it is of use to those who read it.  I have another three to four books in me. I hope to find the discipline to finish one in 2019! Time for that list

Photo Credits
18 in 2018
Qaddafi's Point Guard
Dominos

The Fan Experience: Worth Considering

I take fandom seriously. If fans could take vows, I would probably offer mine to Notre Dame athletics: in good times and in bad, in sickness (or injury) and in health. You get the point.

I realize that being a fan means different things to different people, but I demonstrate mine by showing up when the Irish come to town. Hence, I am always a little surprised when people ask me if I am going to see the football team play when they come to town every other Thanksgiving weekend. I live 2500 miles from campus and 25 from Stanford's; I can't imagine not going to the game. On one level, the question is a non-question; my answer never varies. Yes, I will be there. For the first time in my 20+ year loyalty, I'm not so sure. 

The Stanford Cardinal defeated Notre Dame 38-20 on Saturday, November 25  in what was the final regular season game of the 2017 season. I left upset about the loss, but probably, even more disappointed? troubled? disturbed by the fan experience inside Stanford stadium. I can't say what I experienced was offensive, disrespectful or rude. In fact, nothing a Stanford fan or the Univesity did was inconsiderate or inappropriate (which, given the history of their band has not always been true). No, it's what Stanford didn't do that raised questions, has given me pause for consideration of how to express my loyalty to the Irish in the future.

In his book "The Joy of Sports" Michael Novak has described football as one of the three great American public liturgies (baseball and basketball are the other two). Liturgy in a religious sense gathers a community for the purpose of public worship that invokes participation, call and response, watching, listening, making time for silence, praise, worship, and song. Liturgy is framed by ritual and tradition; it is a celebration and it is timely. It's not difficult to understand how this concept applies to sport. 

Finishing the season 9-3, fans continue to raise questions about Coach Kelly

Collegiate and professional sports are orchestrated by ritual and traditions, too. Many are shared throughout the country and others are unique to each institution and organization. This is one reason that fans love to travel to see their team on the road. I have loved seeing Notre Dame play at Texas, LSU, University of Washington and even Rutgers. Nothing beats winning in enemy territory. It's fun interacting with the enemy and taking in the many ways they reveal their allegiance by donning certain colors, participating in their own unique calls and responses i.e. cheers and more. This notion of the liturgy, however, was vacant at Stanford.

Within the first ten minutes of the game (not on the official game clock), I turned to my friend and asked if we were at a pop concert. Would a football game break out? I have never been to a sporting event with so much music inundating the airwaves. It was incessant and prevented me from hearing anything on the field. I have written about the importance of silence on this blog many times and I found the total lack of it offensive. I had difficulty focusing on football because the music, totally unrelated to the game was so loud. Football is not a silent game. There is the sound of hitting, tackling, whistles blowing, fans reacting, clapping, and yelling. I want to hear the masses cheering and jeering. Please, no more Meghan Trainor.

I hate this band...but, damn it if I don't respect them.

I have never totally understood Stanford's infamous marching band. They delight in being different, but their impact is anemic. I can't stand USC's fight song— it's hard for me to like much about USC—but I recognize their band is impressive. They accomplish what they aim to do, set the tone for the men who are going to war on the gridiron. They entertain their fans during halftime and during the game itself, their music carries a cadence that increases fan engagement. Cheerleaders work in concert with the band, as they should. I might be wrong, but Stanford's cheerleaders seemed divorced from the Dancing Tree et al.

The pageantry and the rituals of college football are simply the icings on the cake of a great American liturgy, but the real "work of the people" is the game itself. Stanford beat us. They capitalized on every one of our mistakes. They stopped the run and covered our receivers. They deserve congratulations for converting, for being up when we were down. But honestly, this is something I could easily watch and experience on television. I could probably hear the actual game better, I could have saved $160 which is the face value of the ticket (more expensive than my USC at ND ticket). Call me an unsavvy shopper—I enjoyed sitting in a group with my friends—but that much for the fan experience I had is imprudent.

The late Michael Novak helped me understand the liturgy of football a little more. In the introduction, he spoke about the voice of Monday Night Football's Howard Cosell. He wrote, 

Howard challenged me to prove football is more than just mere entertainment, means more to us than entertainment, elates or depresses us more than entertainment, affects us more deeply. Entertainment is what occurs at halftime when you get up to go to the bathroom or to buy a hotdog. Entertainment is what you see on a television above the bar in a hotel far from home when no one is paying attention. Football is what makes the people are around the same bar silent, reverent, elated or despondent as the last quarter brings on the game's climactic moments. —Joy of Sports

Call me sour grapes for letting the entertainment get in the way of the football. And if I was Stanford fan, I might see things differently. But the liturgy isn't to be underestimated. It frames the source of the reason we gather, and well, some do it much better than others. I invite any Stanford fan to come to Notre Dame to compare and contrast.

Will I show up two years from now? Given my vows, I think the answer is probably "yes." However, when people ask me that question in the future: Are you going to see the Irish play this weekend? My answer isn't necessarily a given "yes." Staying committed to someone or something is a choice we are always making, affirming and doing. The fan experience at Stanford helped me appreciate that a little more. 

Photo Credits
USC band
EQ

A Case for the Away Game

I love the away game....sitting in enemy territory...being that fan that stands out of the crowd for their opposing colors or cheers. And my annual service trip to the Romero Center in Camden NJ afforded twelve students, two fellow teachers and me the timely opportunity to watch our San Francisco Giants take on the Philadelphia Phillies at Citizen's Bank Park. Many of my students remarked that they had never seen the Giants on the road. They were excited to experience the unique traditions of another team, to determine how "The Bank" compares with AT&T Park, what Philly fans are like, what they do with the Liberty Bell right of centerfield...and of course who or what the Phanatic appears to be. 

Through their eyes, I was reminded that there is much to gain from the away game. We enter in with fresh eyes and must modify our listening skills. Even though a respectable number of fans donned orange and black, the roar of the crowd wasn't in our favor. I know many people who plan summer travels in and around exciting cities where their hometown team will play.Summer vacation is an ideal time to visit another Major League Ballpark and take in a road game. But I will not let this idea be limited to sports. I have always believed the notion of attending an "away game" applies to our faith as well.

For most people, teachers in particular, summer is a wonderful break from the daily grind of work. We all need rest and relaxation. Time away from both home and work is a welcome thing. But I have never understood how or why people view vacation as a time to take a break from our faith. If anything, we should have more time for prayer or service work. I know for a fact that parishes don't stop hosting mass in the summer. In fact, many of those located in popular summer destinations count on out of town visitors. And much like my appreciation of attending the away game in Major League baseball, I have always enjoyed visiting other parishes throughout the country. 

The view from behind the altar at St. Francis

Growing up, my family went to Tahoe the first week of August every summer. Given the view from inside of St. Francis of Assisi Catholic Church in Incline Village, it was hard to complain about the Sunday obligation. It was also impossible not to be prayerful and feel grateful for the beauty of God's creation known as Lake Tahoe while listening to the Gospel.

A popular summer spot for many people from the Bay Area, I remember attending mass in anticipation of who my family might run into. always enjoyed wondering who we might run into at Mass up in Lake Tahoe every summer. I never knew if the priest was going to have us stand and share with the congregation where we were from (always felt a little awkward). I gained a glimpse what different churches valued and promoted and with what issues they struggled. I didn't need to know that Catholic means "universal" in order to understand how that spirit applies to my faith. 

There's more value to attending an away Mass...a roadie....and even standing out in the crowd that one might anticipate. I encourage any family or individual who is traveling for what's left of our summer, to make the little effort that it takes to find the away game Mass. No one loses...everyone wins.*** (99% of the time. blog posting on this to come).

Photo Credits
St. Francis

John Paul II and bin Laden: A Common Humanity

It’s hard to believe that one year ago today "Operation Geronimo" was executed and succeeded. Jake Tapper writes "Geronimo was the code name for the operation that sent two teams of 12 SEALS zooming by Blackhawk helicopters to a walled compound in Abbotabad, Pakistan, on Sunday to kill or capture the most wanted man in the world. Anxious White House officials weren't positive that they would find bin Laden in the fortress-like complex, that he might leave while the SEALS were en route."

My seniors asked if we could spend some time talking about the historical event in class. I said “yes” because believe it or not, I have a lesson about bin Ladin that relates to our curriculum. In a broad talk I give on Sports and Spirituality, one slide in particular gets quite a reaction. It features the face of two men the world readily remembers: Blessed John Paul II beside Osama bin Laden. The title on the page reads “humanity.”

People see it and they laugh in discomfort, others raise eyebrows and give wary retorts. I let the images and the title sit for an uncomfortable minute until I ask: What could these two men possibly have in common? The answer is on the page—their humanity.

The humanity of Blessed John Paul II is inviting. It is as warm as the smile in his eyes. For me, he is an image of truth, light and love.

The humanity of Osama bin Laden however is easy to forget. In fact, it’s something I often deny. When he was killed a Navy SEAL sent back the coded message to Washington that said simply, "Geronimo-E KIA." The “E” stands for Enemy.

However, as described last year in my post “The Humanity of bin Laden,” I confronted this reality from unsuspecting information. It wasn’t when I read about his parents, his wives or his children. It wasn’t when I learned about his heritage or his education. No it’s when I read the teenage bin Laden was tall, almost gangly, and was often picked as a forward on his school soccer team for his superior ability to head the ball in. Bin Laden was an athlete. He played and may even have loved a game that unites boys and girls, men and women throughout the world. Suddenly, the enemy was human.

Blessed John Paul II was larger than life. Perhaps his devotion to God and the demands of a life of faith make him unrelatable. But it’s a well-known fact that JPII was an athlete, possibly the most athletic pontiff in history. Nate Beardsley writes

While growing up in the Polish town of Wadowice, he played goalkeeper for his local soccer team. 'Lolek the Goalie,' as his teammates called him, also took frequent dips in the Skawa River and played ice hockey on its surface once its waters froze in winter.

Karol Wojtyla, as he went by then, would hike up mountains for nearly five hours just to ski to the bottom in ten minutes. Unlike most of us, John Paul II didn't forget what was important to him or what made him happy.

He remained active, even after becoming pope in 1978. During the first summer of his papacy, the pope had a pool built at his summer residence at Castel Gandolfo, said biographer George Weigel. He also took breaks during the first 15 years of his pontificate to go skiing, hitting the slopes at 72 years young.

To read about bin Laden’s athletic gifts and appreciation for sports makes me uncomfortable; he has entered the familiar territory of my life. I do the same for JP II and I only love and revere him ever more. Suddenly, I am confronted with the common denominator among us—humanity. Mine is replete with limitations, failings, findings and a desire for truth.

I remember this day as a victory for freedom, I do. I do not defend a single act or choice that bin Laden made.  Humanity is capable of doing great things; too often it chooses the other. 

Photo Credits
Operation Geronimo
bin Laden and JP II
Blessed John Paul II

Biggest Regret of 2010: Thoughts on Winning in Enemy Territory

As we walked out of FedEx field, home of the Washington Redskins, I realized something tremendously important. I love winning in enemy territory.

Mike, dressed in Eagles gear from head to toe and was jumping up and down, raising his arms, like well—the Birds he loves (the term of endearment anyone from Philly will call their NFL team). The weirdest thing about his antics was that he did it without a sound. For once, Mike was silent. Why? The Eagles squeaked out a victory 23-20 over the Redskins by a field goal in the final seconds of the game.

That very moment—one that took place...no joke...10 years prior— crystallized a humble truth. Victory is sweet, but doing so on the road or when it’s unexpected is that much sweeter. I looked at Mike, who didn’t know what to do with himself, and thought about how many times I felt as he did in that instant. Notre Dame won at LSU in the fall of 1997. I had been called “Tiger Bait” by my students for well over a year. Tiger Stadium aka Death Valley had no hold over the Irish that day. Or one-year prior, my housemate Joy and I drove eight hours from Baton Rouge to Austin. We may have been overwhelmed by the sheer size of the University of Texas’ stadium, but not as much as we were by the surprise Irish win.

We don’t call it “home field advantage” without good reason. Victories on the road can be tough to obtain. But it can also be hard as a sports fan to get to those road games. And that is why my biggest sporting regret of 2010 is that I did not go to San Diego when the Giants won three out of four games in the pivotal series the weekend of September 9-12. The pennant race was heating up and the Giants were taking command.

I define a “sporting regret” as an event you had control over but chose not participate in or to attend. Due to my cross country team’s WCAL championship meet, I was not able to go to the Giants victory parade. As much as this is something I will regret for the rest of my life –not a subjective opinion but an objective fact-- I had no control over going or not. I could however have taken a cheap Southwest flight down to San Diego. I could have seen Brian Wilson seal the deal and put the Giants ahead by two games at that point. I didn’t. I didn’t plan ahead, I didn’t bite the bullet. And I regret it.

Supporting your team on the road means you are subject to hecklers and harassment. It means you have to be willing to take the taunting and the walk of shame should your team lose. And I say “bring it,” for if you win (or I should say your team wins), you feel that much more ownership over the feat that just played out. In enemy territory, fellow fans share a common and powerful connection. You are no longer strangers. You are all too ready to raise a tall one and recall, retell and relieve what just happened.

And I must concede that as a Catholic, I occasionally feel as though I live in enemy territory. At times, San Francisco feels all too secular. I am amazed and how often I am criticized for what the Catholic faith may ask of me. When this I have to remember that Jesus’ teachings were counter-cultural, even in His day. Being a Christian means I am asked to respond to the challenge and call of the Gospel. No one said it was ever going to be easy.

Last year, I made a resolution to “rub some dirt on it” when folks launched into an unsolicited criticism on what I hold as sacred. I am not the sole defender of the faith, nor do I want to be. I try to keep my faith front and center of my life. At times, this can be very difficult. Fortunately, my family members, friends and mentors nurture my faith and are willing to partake in the effort required to build it. Attacks on Christianity or complaints against the Catholic Church aren’t going away (I’ve had my own gripes!) so when they do occur, I hope to remember the wisdom of Romans 8:35-7 Victory is ours through Him who loves us.

In enemy territory or not, victory through the life, words and teaching of Jesus Christ allows me to share a powerful connection with others. In fact, through Christ we are no longer strangers. Every Sunday we recall, retell and relive the significance of His life. I’ll raise a tall one to that.

Photo Credits
'Skins Fan
Victory Parade
Christ Victor