Lessons in Leadership: The Importance of The Table, Thank you, Aaron Rodgers

One of my favorite stories from the summer involves a conversation that I did not have with Aaron Rodgers at the American Century Championship in Lake Tahoe. After a brilliant shot out of the woods, the Jets' quarterback's walked up the fairway until he came to his ball. As he waited for his turn to play, he stood behind a bunker ready to get it onto the green. Respectful of his personal space, fans stood several feet behind and around him, including me.

It was totally quiet. I broke the silence when I asked him, "Can we talk about Hard Knocks?" He didn't nod or concede.  He didn't even pretend to hear. I know he did. 

I said, "that scene when you encourage the other quarterbacks to have lunch with different members of the team. I loved that. I told my students about it. I think it's great advice."

Rodgers shifted his weight, kept his eyes on the hole in front of him and said "It was good advice." And then he turned to make eye contact with me. "Thanks for saying that. Thank you."

Thank you, Aaron. In fact, I think this is information for schools and students, teachers and teams to hear and to remember. In the midst of a lot of change at St. Ignatius College Prep, it is something I am working hard to facilitate and formulate. The purpose of this post is to offer than reminder.

In Episode One of Hard Knocks: Training Camp with the New York Jets, number eight said: "Find a conversation at lunchtime with somebody new, don’t always sit in the same little group. Get to know your teammates a little bit. That’s part of the leadership role." I agree.

For one, anyone can eat a meal with a friend or a familiar teammate. But how often do we sit with someone we don't know...or know yet? It can be a risk. It requires putting aside our natural desire to be with "our people." But Rodgers was speaking to the other QBs as team leaders. He was offering a simple, tactile suggestion for how they might lead. Build a bridge. Share a meal and maybe a story, too.

Second, I don't take for granted that anyone is willing to sit down and break bread with another person period. The work place and our home life is so busy, quite often we eat on the run. But this is not good for our bodies or our souls. We need to sit down and slow down. And the table is a good place to make sure this happens.

But this year at St. Ignatius College Prep, where I work and teach, this choice isn't a given. How? Why? Our building is under construction. There is no faculty dining room. While we have a faculty lounge, the space is not conducive to sitting at table or sharing a meal. This fact actually kept me up at night. I thought to myself "this remodel means two years where faculty are without a lunch room. I don't want to be in a school community where everyone eats in their classroom or their office." Rodgers' message prompted me to seek a solution.

As I wrote in Magnanimity and More: Lessons for the New School Year from Pope Francis and Hard Knocks

Those of us involved in Jesuit education believe that "education happens at tables." In Sports and Spirituality, my seniors quite literally sit at tables. At SI, where I teach, we encourage faculty to eat with one another because we learn about other students, our coursework, we disclose our challenges and laugh a whole lot over a meal. And most importantly, we gather at the Eucharistic table for the Mass as an entire school community throughout the year. We begin the year with Mass of the Holy Spirit and conclude it with the Transition Liturgy. The Holy sacrifice of the mass commemorates one of the most important meals in Jesus' lives. So too, it plays an role in our formation, our identity and more.

This teaching is repeated at the beginning of the school year—serving as a wonderful reminder of who we are and what we do. It is an image that all can carry and remember, understand and pass on. I never want it to ring hollow. And yet, I knew the loss of the faculty dining room meant that it might. Where could teachers go for lunch? How might we even sit with someone new let alone have a conversation to get to know others without a table on which to share a meal? 

My colleague Maria and I went to the faculty lounge and took a quick inventory. Inside this room we found four different tables with a mismatch of oversized chairs—none all that conducive to dining. One table was balanced by a stack of detention slips. Another one served as the dumping ground for everything from DVDs to last week's croissants. We cleaned up and cleared out. I knew the task was imminent. According to the New York Times article "How to Make New Friends," I had all of three weeks to get the job done.

One veteran teacher said "You need faculty buy in. Ask other teachers what they want. " We did. Three teachers rearranged the couches. Buildings and Grounds brought in a set of smaller chairs and put five to a table. People started commenting on the change of the energy in that room. "It's so much better! People show up! They sit and stay." We have tried to keep this space clear of packages and the plastic paper trays teachers no longer want or need. It's a work in progress—but it's the work of the Office of Adult Spirituality. Maybe we are the QBs.... I like that. I also like that it's not perfect or brand new. We have made the most of what we have and it's good. That's ground for all of us to sow the seeds of community.

As you enter this new year, consider: How might you invite others to your lunch table? With whom might you strike up a new conversation? How will you lead? What might you learn?

Photo Credits
Cigar
Hard Knocks