Over lunch after a round of golf with a good mix of friends, someone asked, “Did you hear Scottie Scheffler’s comments before The Open?” The responses—from a group that included several avid golf fans—were varied, thoughtful, and insightful. We unpacked what he said, what he might have meant, and how he said it. Having just written about it the night before, I shared what I posted and yet, there was still more to say!
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| So grateful for these relationships AND how committed to excellence these people are... |
Scottie's remarks made for excellent conversation because ultimately, he is asking the question we all must ask of ourselves, of others, of our society. What makes for a fulfilling life? Whether he knows it or not, he gave the answer and left room for one more: commitment to excellence, relationships and mystery.
Commitment to Excellence:
No one will question Scottie Scheffler's commitment to excellence. His has been ranked number one in the world since 2023. He works extraordinarily hard at a singular endeavor and his efforts result in Ws....by many strokes. By the age of 29, has won four majors and is just one title away from a career Grand Slam.
But what haunts Scottie has haunted many others, including tennis legend, Andre Agassi. In his autobiography "Open," he confessed "part of my discomfort with tennis has always been a nagging sense that it is meaningless." His remarks don't strike me as shallow or seeking sympathy. Sure, the life of a professional athlete appears to glamorous and desirable, but it comes with questions of deeper meaning. (The article "What's the point?" offers several examples of athletes who raise this question). And it should. No lives are being saved, no nations defended or lessons learned. So what, right?
The late, great American football coach Vince Lombardi offers important advice. He said, "The quality of a man's life is in direct proportion to his commitment to excellence, regardless of his chosen field of endeavor."
I love his message because it speaks to all of us—to Tom Brady, my parish priest, teachers, truckers, dancers and doctors. Every person can commit themselves to excellence in their work. Moms and dads, aunts and uncles, artists, accountants, offensive linemen, wide receivers, bat boys and girls, politicians and the police.
While professional athletics is a highly favored field of endeavor, what about those who labor in less desirable circumstances? I would argue the commitment to excellence remains (although I'm struggling with the example of the meter maid). Nothing beats the feeling of completing a hard task and a job well done. Easy for me to say, but I can't help but think this is inherent to the story of a Helen Tobolksi. She served on the custodial staff at the University of Notre Dame and tragically, she was killed at the age of 62 on campus. Her killer has never been found.
I have wanted to write about her since I read the piece "A Life Lost, A Mystery Unsolved," in the Spring 2025 issue of Notre Dame magazine. Ken Bradford '76 said, "she had been an ND employee for 13 years, Her primary job was as a maid in Grace Hall, then a men's dorm, but she picked up extra hours cleaning academic buildings." I encourage you to read the rest of the story here.
I've never questioned the value of a custodian's work. While their jobs may not be glamorous or widely sought-after, maids and janitors are essential workers whose labor deserves deep respect. Our spaces are cleaner, healthier, and better because of their daily efforts.
Indeed there are those who never question if their work matters and as with Scottie, there are those who do—but we can all consider our commitment to excellence. A fulfilling life is found part and parcel right there. I believe Scottie has a sense of that AND yet he seeks more. This is where relationships weigh in...
Relationships
Unlike Agassi who also revealed that he hated tennis. Scottie said, "I love the challenge. I love being able to play this game for a living. It’s one of the greatest joys of my life, but does it fill the deepest wants and desires of my heart? Absolutely not.” Instead, Scheffler said that his family mattered far more – and he would stop playing professional golf if it ever affected his relationship with his wife, Meredith, and his son, Bennett.
Clearly, those words weren't in vain. Moments after sinking his final putt, Scottie embraced his wife and held tight to his 14-month-old son. Seeing him cradle both Bennett and the Claret Jug spoke volumes. Watching Scottie and his caddie, Teddy, laugh and play with Bennett on the green was heartwarming. Even his parents, Scott and Diane, were there—his dad handing off an iPhone for a celebratory photo with his mom. That’s as normal as it gets! Support from family, friends, and teammates matters—and it’s one of the most meaningful byproducts of the relationships we build.
The importance of relationships for a fulfilling life is not new. It's far from a best kept secret. As one of my favorite authors, Gretchen Rubin—notes, "Ancient philosophers would agree that if you had to pick one secret to a happy life, it would be strong relationships. Enduring bonds. People you confide in. People you can rely on. You need to both get and give support."
Social scientists today add that these relationships can come in all shapes and sizes—from siblings to neighbors, colleagues and cousins. Loose ties are not to be underestimated. For example, your hairdresser, local barista, freshman English teacher or a fellow parishioner: all can have a positive impact on you.
Again, the example of Helen Tobolski weighs in. Her daughter Marilyn said "she really loved interacting with the students and got to know many of them." Upon reading those words, I thought back to the women who wore a uniform short sleeved blue coat both in the dining hall and in my dorm. I considered the work of these men and women who made Farley feel like home. I was saddened to think I didn't get to know them in the way that Helen got to know the residents of Grace Hall. I saw them. I appreciated them, but I missed out on that relationship.
The good news is that this opportunity still exists in my work place today. Although our custodial staff doesn't wear the striking blue coat, I do know them by name. I hope they know mine.
Mystery
A commitment to excellence and relationships are the stuff of a meaningful life and yet, so is something more. So too, is this searching and this longing. We know the way—the proper path—and yet we do not. This is where Jesus' invitation "Come and See" offers respite and opportunity.
Saint Augustine has said "our hearts are restless until they rest in thee." While many people know the prophetic words of this doctor of the Church, it's worth remembering the first part: You have made us for yourself O God.
Jesus' invitation coupled with the understanding for what we have been made—whether we play professional golf or clean dorms—require a commitment to excellence and a relationship to The Divine, the great Mystery—to Godself.
I can't help but think Helen Tobolski lived a fulfilling life. And in spite of his questions, I think Scottie does too. Please weigh in on this one....
Photo Credits
Helen Tobolski
Scottie
Scheffler family
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