Rory McIlroy Offers One of Three Life Lessons from Golf

Make no mistake about it. Golf, like many sports affords many life lessons. Here are but three that you will understand whether or not you chase a 1.8" ball around the greens. 

1. Injuries Are Part of the Game...or...err...part of life.
The Open: Golf::Wimbledon:tennis. The analogy is a good one—as both tournaments played in Great Britain are considered to be the most prestigious of the four majors. And for the first time in 61 years, the defending champion will not be on hand to reclaim his title. Why? Rory McIlroy, the number one golfer in the world, announced today that a ruptured ligament will keep him from playing. 

Whether or not you are a McIlroy fan, this is a bummer because right now, the number two golfer in the world, Jordan Spieth has won the first two majors. Last year, McIlroy captured two of his own. It would be very exciting to see these two compete against one another at St. Andrews. But, McIlroy  injured his ankle while playing soccer with friends back home in Northern Ireland.

No Jeff Kent comments about acquiring an injury from washing one's truck (It's largely understood that Kent was on his motorcycle, attempting to do stunts). As written on ESPN "He was hopeful that he would recover in time for The Open, but decided two days later it was not worth risking a full recovery."

Injuries are part of the game. The physical demands that athletes put upon their bodies is tremendous. Ligaments tear, bones brake, and bruises run deep. Time, rest, rehab and PT are a necessary yet alternative form of training. And yet, sometimes injuries just happen in life. Bad luck, bad hits, bad breaks. We are all human and prone to fatigue, illness and injury. 

For McIlroy, this was just bad timing. He was probably home before heading to the Scottish Open. A natural competitor, he probably has one speed, and that speed took his ankle down. Sad to see it, but hoping this puts him in a good space to defend his title at the PGA Championship in Whistling Straights. 

Let Golfers Play Through
We arrived at Rita's Water Ice in Philly as a group of ten. Of this San Francisco bunch, all but one person—me—had any idea of what water ice is all about. Two women entered at the same time and had a long and unfortunate wait. I should have perceived the delay we would hand them. As golfers know, this was an opportunity to let them play through. 

As a golfer, I hate waiting too long; it can kill momentum. I am also not a fan of being rushed by the golfers behind me. Letting someone play through is the right thing to do. And according to the rules, the group in front should make the offer. The group behind should not ask.

But it can also be tricky. Sometimes there is already a delay on the course. Or maybe you speed of play is appropriate. My advice: use prudence—make the wise decision…maybe even the generous one.  People are usually glad you ask and I've been impressed with how folks respond. "No, we are having a great time together, don't worry about it." or "Thank you so much, that's much appreciated." 

Maybe those women at Rita's enjoyed the extra time together. Regardless, at the end of the purchase: 8 students and 2 adults, I apologized for not letting them play through.

Sometimes it's not about being "politically correct"...it's about being correct.
On Monday, my friend David and I joined two grumpy old men for a round of 18. They wanted to know if we would all play from the same tees. They looked at me and I said "no problem, I will play white." They acted impressed.

Throughout the round, they referenced the fact that I wasn't hitting from the women's tees. At long last, I said "isn't the correct term the forward tees?" Someone came to my defense and said "that's right." Another chimed in by saying that "where he grew up there is no time for terms that are P.C." 

My response? Sometimes it's not about being politically correct, it's about respect. Other times, it's about being correct. Technically, anyone can play from the forward tees, but a some golfers shouldn't. The tips exist for a reason: when you drive the ball 330 yards off the tee, you should play from a different tee box. Counterpoint: new golfers should play from the forward tees to keep the pace of play appropriate to their level of the game. Even seniors can benefit from playing from the forward tees. We think of them as women's tees, but I know a lot of women who play green/white combo or with their playing partner as they see fit. That's correct!

The list of life lessons from golf and other sports is long. These are the three I have thought about in the past two weeks. Send me yours!

Photos Credits
PC Cartoon
Play Through

Baseball, Bicycles & America the Beautiful

How do you celebrate the 4th of July? I was talking to two friends this morning about how and why it's a holiday we can all rally around. Perhaps it has something to do with timing. Set in the heart of summer, the 4th beckons us to get out of our homes and play outside. Maybe it doesn't carry the same emotional baggage or expectations that other holidays do. Who knows. It's my favorite holiday and I love that all Americans—new and old can enjoy this day with family and friends, far and wide.

And with this blog I would like to offer three easy ways to enjoy Independence Day!

1. Go to a baseball game.

America's past-time is something the whole family can enjoy. For my brother and his daughters as well as two former co-workers—all huge San Francisco Giants fans— they were given the gift of seeing the defending World Series Champion take the field in our nation's capital. Not only did they hear the national anthem, they were able to see former Presidents run the bases at Nationals Park. I think it's important to recognize our Founding Fathers on this day. That's one way to do it.

I'm not a Yankee fan, but I can recognize they have a remarkable 4th of July history. For those of you with ESPN app, perhaps you have noticed the number of "no-hit alerts" that have rung up this season (the most interesting of which was Max Scherzer's near perfect game). The "no-no" remains an impressive feat, and if there's one way to do it, Dave Righetti did it best.

On July 4, 1983 Rags shut out the Red Sox at Yankee Stadium. The House that Babe built was adorned with bunting and over 40,000 fans in for an incredible feat. The Wikipedia entry says it all

It was the first Yankee no-hitter since Don Larsen's perfect game in the 1956 World Series, and the first by a Yankee left-hander since 1917. It was also the first time ever a no-hitter occurred during a Yankees-Red Sox rivalry game. Righetti recorded swinging strikeout against Wade Boggs to end the game. 

All I can say to that is "Yeah America."

But it's also worth pointing out what occurred in the Bronx 44 years prior. Captured in the movie "Pride of the Yankees" Lou Gehrig shared even with t"he bad break" he got, that he considers himself the "luckiest man on the faith of the earth." ESPN's An Awful Lot to Live For says

The place was home plate at Yankee Stadium. The day was July 4, 1939. The weather was steamy.And the circumstances were heart-breaking. 

The New York Yankees were honoring Lou Gehrig between games of a doubleheader with the Washington Senators just two short months after the greatest first baseman in the history of baseball found out that it was amyotrophic lateral sclerosis that had robbed him of his physical abilities. The Stadium was packed with 61,000 fans as members of the '27 Yankees and his current teammates fanned out in the infield.

It must have been incredibly emotional and yet inspiring. "Wow America."

The original Iron Horse. Gehrig played 2130 straight games.

2. Go to a 4th of July Parade

If you are like me, you love a good Independence Day parade. I am usually attending my favorite in Danville, CA but this year I will be at the oldest parade west of the Mississippi in Huntington Beach, CA. And I've never seen anything like it. Homes along the parade route were decorated with red, white and blue banners, lights, signs and anything else they could think of like it's Christmas in July. People of all ages are free to enjoy, and that's noteworthy: it costs nothing. Tax that America.

The morning festivities began with the Surf City 5k and concluded with a pancake breakfast. My only regret is that we didn't have a bicycle in the middle of all of this. 

There's something about the beach and a bicycleon the 4th. People decorate those too...or they should. We saw many. "Good job America."

3. "American the Beautiful"
Memorial Day, Thanksgiving Day and Independence Day are worthy days to attend daily mass. I can imagine the same closing song for all three would invite the congregation to sing "America, the Beautiful." 

I think the 4th is a fitting day to give thanks for our freedom and the men and women who have given their lives to protect and defend it. Mass is a communal, powerful and prayerful place to do that.

A friend shared an e-mail chain informing us of what happened to the men who signed the Constitution. Learning the price they paid so that this nation could come to be is worth thanksgiving and a deepened sense of appreciation. "God Bless America."

The only thing left to say is "Thanks America." Amen.

Photo Credits
Rags
Getty Image of Gehrig

Addition by Subtraction: Beyond Yasiel Puig

One of my favorite expressions is "addition by subtraction." I was reminded of it this morning as I listened to something that I never get tired of hearing: the local San Francisco Giants' radio station harp on the Los Angeles Dodgers. That's right, Murph and Mac of the the KNBR radio show delighted in sharing excerpts from a book due out during the All Star break "The Best Team Money Can Buy."

Anyone who has coached, managed or taught understands "addition by subtraction." Sometimes we gain by losing, someone or something. We can be better off by cutting ties and letting go. We have all heard "less is more." It applies to the spiritual life as well.

Yasiel Puig has played for the Dodgers since 2013. In that time he has batted close to 30o is known for his power hitting. Most opposing pitchers consider him to be a notable threat. But he has also proven to be a threat to team unity. And to continue the math metaphor, it's not that Puig is divisive in the clubhouse. It's ≥ than that. He might do more harm than good. Jeff Passan writes:

While some issues, like his habitual tardiness for games, have abated this year, according to sources, Puig's work ethic in batting practice and the wfeight room continue to bother some teammates. Much of the hostility stems from a general sense of entitlement shown by the 24-year-old. During spring training this year, as Knight writes and multiple sources confirmed to Yahoo Sports, Puig argued with teammates over who should be allowed on a plane ride that typically includes wives and girlfriends. The subject of someone from Puig's entourage joining the traveling crew came up, and sources told Yahoo Sports that Puig argued with pitcher Zack Greinke and nearly came to blows with infielder Justin Turner over the matter.

No player is perfect—far from it. But building a team is already hard work. It demands drawing an athlete out of him or herself and thinking about others as much as yourself (ideally more). Passan adds, "Inside the Los Angeles Dodgers' clubhouse, the contempt some teammates hold for outfielder Yasiel Puig is no longer a secret limited to whispers. They discuss it openly, resigned to the fact that the Dodgers don't plan to trade their mega-talented right fielder no matter how deep the animus runs."

When a high profile athlete brings a sense of entitlement and holds a questionable work ethic to a professional environment, you have to evaluate their worth. 

"We've talked about this," one Dodgers player told Yahoo Sports. "At this point, it would be addition by subtraction." 

I have no tolerance for entitlement. Its opposite is gratitude.

This past year we had 107 girls on the cross country team. While I would love to think it was wonderful for so many young women to have the opportunity to compete, be a member of a team and develop a life long love of running, the truth of the matter was something different. 

Cross country is a hard sport. Although there's a cliche that states "you can run but you can't hide," we found a lot of girls did quite the opposite. They weren't interested in running, and so they hid—in the bushes, behind tress, in the bathroom or locker room. When caught, the excuses were many. Ultimately, those who suffered were the athletes were on task, who wanted to improve and make the most out of the sport. I don't know how many times we said it was time to "trim the fat." Meaning, toss away what is unhealthy and tenderize the meat. In short: addition by subtraction.

Had we added by subtracting, we could have given more time to our top 15 runners. We could have reached the runners on the cusp with better training, coaching and attention to detail. Addition by subtraction frees one up to see what they have, and can change the perspective away from what is getting in the way.

As I thought more about this expression I couldn't help but think about how it relates to the spiritual life; in particular the virtue of forgiveness. When we let go of the hurt and the grudge, we add joy and peace. Subtracting hatred or contempt, we add love. It's no easy task...far from it, which is why I think the saying is so important.

And because it is challenging, I started to think of a spiritual exercise that might allow us to become familiar with adding by subtracting. I was reminded of what William O'Malley wrote in the article Teaching Empathy. The paragraph is entitled "Check out the Closets." He says, 

Yet another way of developing a sense of humanity (grace builds on nature or not at all) is simply to ask kids to go through their closets and drawers and pick out anything they haven't worn in a year. Obviously, they have no remote need of it, and it could save someone's life--or at least give them a momentary lift. And even in a worst-case scenario, where the Salvation Army driver steals all the best and fences it for money-in the first place, you'll never know· that, and. in the second place, your compassion and generosity have done something very good inside you.

I have made a point of regularly going through my closet to determine if I need all that I have. When I have the tendency to hold onto something, I challenge myself to let it go. We don't gain virtue in practicing that which is easy—we need to stretch ourselves toward the good, the loving and the just. 

As St. Francis has said "in the giving that we receive." When I give, (especially what I don't need away), I am able to see more clearly all that I have. The paradox remains, by subtracting what I have, I gain more than virtue—I add appreciation. Give it a shot...or maybe I should say "add it to your life."

Photo Credits
Book
Yasiel

Addition.

A Nugget in the Gold Rush: The Niner Museum

Tonight, thousands of Grateful Dead fans will descend upon Levi's Stadium for the "Fare Thee Well" Tour. If you know anything about the band or the venue, you can't help but find it strange. Perhaps that's fitting. What a long strange trip it has been for the San Francisco 49ers who now call that $1.3 billion dollar complex home.

Brian Murphy of KNBR's Murph and Mac show said it well when he admitted, "it's popular to hate on Levi's Stadium." I'm a nominal fan and his words resonated more deeply with me than they should have. As someone who has lived and worked in the City by the Bay for 15 years now (I can't believe that!), it's unfortunate that our team now plays in a venue 40 miles south. Miles! minutes might be another...?... For Niner fans, the (hate) list is long. But I would like to offer a nugget in the gold rush that has hit Silicon Valley and San Francisco for the Forty-Niner Faithful: The 49er Museum.

I don't know why, but I entered with little to no expectations. I am a sports enthusiast and American Studies major, so I should have held high hopes. I guess Murph's words have removed the rose in my colored glasses. But that rose, or Niner red is back and with this posting, I would like to offer three insights I gained that will stay me with!

1. The Forty-Niners are the first professional sports team born and bred in San Francisco.
The Giants came to town in 1958, but that was by way of the Polo Grounds in New York. So when the Morabito brothers bought the franchise—a dream that allegedly began over many lunch breaks at the Saint Francis Creamery—what is now also the oldest professional sports team from the West Coast became a reality.

Of additional interest might be the purported story behind the Niner's team colors. Victor and Tony, two graduates of St. Ignatius (where I teach) played football at Santa Clara University. They adopted the colors of their collegiate alma mater for their team. NB: today Santa Clara goes with a maroon and white and like many other schools—black. As I've said before "black is the new black." 

The greatest WR & QB in Niner history

2. It's all about chemistry.
Anyone who has ever been in a romantic relationship knows this is true, but chemistry is never limited to a love interest. A good team has great chemistry. Friends "click" or they don't. When my roommate and I asked a new priest why he chose to be a diocesan priest rather than one in a religious order, he admitted that he didn't find the right chemistry with the religious communities he visited. "I liken it to a relationship, I didn't find the right chemistry" he confessed. "Everyone understands it when I put it that way." Indeed.

Look up to the ceiling when you are inside the Niner museum and you will see footballs hanging midair—206 of them. This display plays tribute to the 206 passes that Jerry Rice caught for touchdowns, as a Niner. 19 of those pigskins were for TDs in the post-season. According to #80, the majority of those were made possible because of the great chemistry he shared with quarterback Joe Montana. In the introductory video, Rice says "I always told Joe, if you were a woman I would date you."  I have a feeling a lot of men might feel that same way.

As I heard that, I thought of all that great chemistry has made possible. Chemistry is a factor we cannot control, as much as we would like to. Give thanks to the Creator for those with whom you share great chemistry.

The image in the video is up close and hard to believe!

3. The role of the Superbowl Championship in 1981.
I love history and I love it that much more when it includes the context of sport.

I recommend that you take the 10 minutes to watch the introductory video inside the museum as it sets the tone for what you will see decade by decade. Many stories, profiles, facts and accomplishments have stayed with me, but a poignant one was the impact of the Niner's victory in their first Superbowl.

The Niners had struggled in the late '70s. They were the laughing stock of the NFL and even coaching Bill Walsh didn't make the switch overnight. The city itself had seen very dark days with the assassination of Mayor George Moscone and City Supervisor Harvey Milk. Racism and crime were tearing neighborhoods apart.

But times began to change. Dwight Clark and "The Catch" led to a win over the hated Dallas Cowboys and an entry to Motown for Superbowl XVI against the Cincinnati Bengals. With the 26-21 victory, the city had something to rally around and celebrate, as oppose to mourn. 

There is an image that captures the victory parade. Players, politicians and coaches wave from their respective cable cars to thousands upon thousands of adoring fans. The image looks like a cartoon it is so incredible...whimsical...supersize. It made me wish I had been there.

Forty-niner fans have much to be grateful for. I have only written but a few observations from my brief visit with a friend in town from Washington, DC. We both enjoyed interactive presentations as well—I tried my stint as a Niner cheerleader (a member of the Gold Rush) and he at the NFL combine.

Maybe it's appropriate that the Dead are playing at Levi's. A band that lived in the Haight and whose music has underscored the energy of the city by the bay has another chapter in its book. One worth learning and celebrating...even if it is 45 miles south of Shakedown Street.

The Moral Bucket List: 3 Life Lessons from Pinehurst

Brooks writes regularly for the New York Times

One of the best articles I've read in a long while is "The Moral Bucket List" by David Brooks. I think other people feel that same way too; it has been inspiring to discuss it with unlikely people in unlikely capacities. If you haven't read it, click here.

Brooks drew me in with his initial claim. It is an astute observation. He writes, "About once a month I run across a person who radiates an inner light." Who doesn't want to be one of these people?

He describes them further.

"These people can be in any walk of life. They seem deeply good. They listen well. They make you feel funny and valued. You often catch them looking after other people and as they do so their laugh is musical and their manner is infused with gratitude. They are not thinking about what wonderful work they are doing. They are not thinking about themselves at all.

When I meet such a person it brightens my whole day. But I confess I often have a sadder thought: It occurs to me that I’ve achieved a decent level of career success, but I have not achieved that. I have not achieved that generosity of spirit, or that depth of character."

So why write about them? Because like me, he wants to be like these type of people. And the good news is that these "great people are made, they are not born." 

It occurred to Brooks that in life, we are measured by two standards: resume virtues and eulogy virtues—those that we speak about when our time has come. We know which ones are more important but he believes our culture and educational system spend more time teaching skills and strategies for career success. However, the qualities that you need to "radiate an inner light" require inner work, and character development. So, Brooks names them for us. And the more I read, I more I thought to myself: many of these qualities can be acquired from the game of golf.

26 Women from the Olympic Club in SF faced off against NC women at the historic Pine Needles Golf Course

I just returned from a 6 day vacation to Pinehurst, North Carolina. I traveled with 26 women to play five rounds of golf. Some women played more, some less. I wish I had jumped in for 36 holes on Sunday. Way to go warriors....golf warriors that is. 

That much time committed to one sport revealed several of the morals on Brooks' bucket list. Perhaps you can determine how they apply to your sport. Maybe you play golf and will agree with my thoughts. Give them a shot. 

The first virtue he names should be the most obvious one of all: Brooks calls it...

"The Humility Shift."
Nothing keeps a person humble like the game of golf. Earlier this year, I played golf with a 72-year old woman who carried her bag for 18 holes. I used a push cart. She hit the ball farther and with more accuracy that anyone else in my foursome.  

At Pinehurst, our groups played in a number of games/competitions. During one round, a friend told me I scored a nine. I said 'no, I got an eight." It was a little bit awkward and uncomfortable to discuss what I scored on the hole. I try to count by the clubs I use, but when you use the same one twice to get out of two different bunkers, it's easy to lose count. She was right, and she was kind (sometimes certain virtues work in harmony with one another, sometimes not so much). She said "Are you upset?" I said "No, I'm not upset with you. I'm upset with myself. It bothers me that I can't keep track of my own strokes. That's upsetting to me."

Two holes later, the same friend said "nice par." I said "I didn't par, that was my fifth shot. I bogeyed." On this one she underestimated; how I wish she had been right. We were able laugh. 

The root of humility is humus which mean earth. It's why we have the expression "down to earth." Humble people are down to earth. They aren't inflated by a sense of self-importance. They realize we all have a few bad shots in us. And some more than others. #Humility.

Sunday on the historic #2

Self Defeat
Brooks states that "character is built during the confrontation with your own weakness." To play golf is to confront limitations on a regular basis. Every golfer knows exactly what his or her own weakness is and we only have so much control over "fixing it." We take lessons, we ask others for advice, we trouble shoot and we hope the golf gods are good to us. We also share the struggle.

On Sunday that struggle involved turtle greens and waste bunkers on Pinehurst #2. As I played, I remembered that golfing legends Payne Stewart and Phil Mickelson have played where I did and met their own struggles. It always helps to put a challenge in perspective; it can prevent self-defeat. Knowing those guys had walked with their caddies there before me was fun to imagine and kept me sane. 

Tiger Woods once said "play to your strengths." I agree, but the sport and life offer us opportunities to improve ourselves all the time. 

The Dependency Leap
Brooks writes, "people on the road to character understand that no person can achieve self-mastery on his or her own. Individual will, reason and compassion are not strong enough to consistently defeat selfishness, pride and self-deception. We all need redemptive assistance from outside."

The night before I went to Pinehurst, a friend warned me about my trip. He said "Wow, you haven't broken 100 yet and you're going to play golf for five days? Good luck." I knew I was in for a challenge, but his words were discouraging. Thank God for the Dependency Leap.

I played with some excellent golfers. So many of them were more than generous with their encouragement and "redemptive assistance." They saw my potential and helped me stay calm and focused when necessary. One golfer struggled to get out of the bunkers (we all do). A more veteran golfer heeded her to do it right. It wasn't about their score or rushing the hole. She wanted her to learn now so she could understand. It worked! Dependency isn't all that bad.

One of my favorite golfers, the late Payne Stewart is memorialized here. He won the 1999 US Open over Mickelson.

Brooks names three other virtues: Energizing Love, The Call within the Call and The Conscience Leap. For me to connect those to golf would be a stretch, but later this summer I might have the opportunity to gain more insight into those when I travel with 10 students to Camden, New Jersey. There, we will  stand with the poor and vulnerable, the elderly and disenfranchised, the sad and the lonely. Many of them radiate that inner light. I think that light shines brighter when its amidst so many struggles.That's Camden.

For many golf enthusiasts traveling to Pinehurst is on their life's bucket list. For me, it was a wonderful way to start summer and a thoughtful way to test out Brooks' "Moral Bucket List." In any given group, folks possess the eulogy virtues and the resume builders. This group was no exception. The game of golf was simply our paradigm. It certainly builds...and reveals character.