Tiger Woods: Where is the (word) Love?

Driving to Capitol Hill, I did a double take. Out of the corner of my eye I saw “The Catch,” an iconic image—for Bay Area sports fans in particular—towering above the entrance to the Newseum. Underscored by the word “ATHLETE,” I deduced they must be running an exhibit. Indeed, Athlete: Sports Illustrated Photography of Walter Iooss was running through December 31—that very day. What luck!

The work of Walter Iooss has graced the cover of SI more than any other photographer. “Athlete” promised to display familiar images such as "Air" Jordan dunking or Joe Namath in a poolside lounge chair “holding court” with reporters, beside some unfamiliar ones—children playing béisbol in Cuba, or champion surfer Kelly Slater, his board and those...Hawaiian waves. “Every picture tells a story, yes, but for certain photos in this collection Iooss has chosen to tell the story behind the picture.”

About three images into the exhibit, a breath-taking print of Tiger Woods at the tee caught my attention. I stood gazing at its distinctive lighting while my mom read the “back story.” In light of recent events, it was impossible not to gaze and stand in wonder. The silence around me was deafening, until my mom leaned over to me and said sardonically, “Don’t get too close to Tiger.” I had nothing to say. Silence resumed as my mom shifted her gaze to the image and I read the description:

The first time I followed Tiger Woods I wanted to recreate a picture Hy Peskin once took of Ben Hogan. I wanted to do it with an old-fashioned 4-by-5 Crown Graphic camera, which meant I had to get close. And getting close to Tiger is a problem. I was really on the edge of the rules. At one point, his caddie Steve Williams, came over and said “Excuse me, mate, have you covered a golf tournament before?” I’d covered about 15 majors, but I just said “Yes, sir.” From that point on, he and Tiger kept looking at because I was still too close.

About six months later, I shot Tiger for the cover of Sports Illustrated and finally met him. I mentioned how I’d covered him that day and said, “Did you notice me?” He said, “Every hole.”

Iooss (pronounced Yose) said those words “…getting close to Tiger is a problem” in 2007. For those of us who did, his “transgressions” were disappointing. Although my friend Kevin thinks it comes down to two words: Who cares? I do. Golf does. Perhaps you disagree.

And from the other perspective, in no way was I surprised to read that Tiger saw Iooss at “every hole.” Tiger is renowned for his extreme attention to detail. He is the master of discipline. So when Tiger made his first public statement on Friday, February 19.

I was surprised not by what I heard--no doubt it was scripted, rehearsed, even choreographed, but rather by what I did not hear. Woods assumed full responsibility for his selfish actions. He acknowledged the many people he has hurt, even his foundation. He apologized and articulated how much work he has to do. Yet, he never once said the word “love.” This man— driven by discipline, who notices everything from an unknown photographer to the tiniest undulation on the course, did not say “I love my wife” or “I love my children,” or even “I love golf.” I think that says a lot.

I believe however, there is hope for Tiger. If the sum of his other words are true, and if he chooses to channel his level of discipline to his personal life, my recommendation is that he read the words of M. Scott Peck, MD from “The Road Less Traveled.” In it, Peck defines "Love," and what it asks of us. It is an act of the will, it is not effortless, it leads to spiritual growth. Perhaps Tiger lost sight of this along the way.

Tiger, read on. Perhaps this will serve as your new "back story." I look forward to corresponding image.

Love Defined
Discipline, it has been suggested, is the means of human spiritual evolution. The force that provides the motive, the energy for this discipline, is Love.

In attempting to examine love one must be conscious that one is trying to define the mysterious and the inexplicable. In the face of the mystery of love misconception about it abound. Love is too large, too deep ever to be truly understood or measured or limited within the framework of words.

Nonetheless, the broad definition is thus: The will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.

This is a teleological definition; the behavior is defined in terms of the goal it seems to serve – in this case, spiritual growth.

Often, what seems to be love is not love at all. One of the major distinguishing features seems to be the conscious or unconscious purpose in the mind of the lover or non-lover.

It may be noticed that, as defined, love is a strangely circular process. For the process of extending one’s self is an evolutionary process. When one has successfully extended one’s limits, one has then grown into a larger state of being. Thus the act of loving is an act of self-evolution even when the purpose of the act is someone else’s growth. It is through reaching through toward evolution that we evolve.

The unitary definition of love includes self-love with love for the other. Since I am human and you are human, to love humans means to love myself as well as you. To be dedicated to human spiritual development is to be dedicated to the race of which we are part, and this therefore means dedication to our own development as well as “theirs”.

Ultimately, self-love and love for others are indistinguishable, yet it is impossible to forsake our own spiritual development in favour of someone else’s.
The act of extending one’s limits implies effort. When we love someone, our love becomes demonstrable or real only through our exertion – through the fact that for that someone (or oneself) we take an extra step, or walk an extra mile. Love is not effortless. To the contrary, it is effortful.

By the use of the word “will” an attempt is made to transcend the distinction between desire and action. Desire is not necessarily translated into action. Will is desire of sufficient intensity that it is translated into action. The difference between the two is like the difference between “I would like to do it” and “I will do it." Everyone in our culture desires to some extent to be loving, yet many do not in fact love. Thus the desire to love is not itself love. Love is as love does. Love is an act of will – both an intention and an action. We choose to love. When we actually exert ourselves in the cause of spiritual growth, it is because we have chosen to do so. Then the choice to love has been made.

*Special thanks to Allison Howard for encouraging me to write about Tiger

Photo Credits
The Catch
Tiger by Iooss
Presser

Mike Singletary: Man on a Mission The Singletarys: Family With a Mission Statement

It might seem odd to post a story about Mike Singletary on the evening before the Super Bowl. Besides, after last year's half time show what's left to say?

Undoubtedly, the Saints are a compelling story, as they represent a city that knows all that the spiritual life entails--"aching pain & delicious hope." Their opponent, led by the goodness that is Peyton Manning is as "controversial as a turkey sandwich from the gas station". No evil enemy, no proverbial axe to grind. Perhaps this is why the only controversy I have heard around the championship game of the NFL (apart from the fact Jeremy Shockey's voice in no way matches his physique) pertains to an ad that holds a pro-life message that will run. Although it is about Tim Tebow, Singletary & he share a common history. Today, it is widely recognized that they are both men on a mission, with a mission. I have wanted to write about Singletary ever since Ted Robinson told me about a compelling story in the San Jose Mercury News. Upon completion of his career as a football player, Singletary did the dishes, a whole lot of housework and drafted a mission statement for this family. A mission statement for his family? Who does that?! Mike Singletary, that's who. Read on.

It is impossible to look at Forty Niner head coach, Mike Singletary and not recognize there is something different about him. You need not know anything about football or what makes an athlete a Hall of Fame linebacker to understand he is a man of purpose, he settles for nothing but the best. Truly, he is a man on a mission.

A firm presence both on and off the field, to say Singletary is “a man of good moral fiber” is a near insult. Let’s not mince words, he is a virtual moral “tower of power.” He addresses men as “Sir,” he wears a wooden cross, and speaks slowly, passionately and thoughtfully. And, he is one tough interview.

Brian Murphy co-host of the “Murph and Mac” radio show speaks on the air with Coach Singletary the morning after every Niners game. Singletary says what he means and means what he says. His remarks although candid, deliberate and important are often stoic, even terse. If you make an attempt to probe deeper, he will say “I don’t want to talk about that anymore;” stalemate. I can recall several times whereby upon completion of an interview, all Murph was able to say was simply—nothing. Rather, at long last he would—exhale. And I so did I, a humble listener, the bipartisan fan.

Perhaps this is why Murph and I were so drawn to the December 2009 interview by Santa Rosa Press Democrat sports writer Lowell Cohn. The 4000 word transcript (!) is deeply personal. How Cohn was able to engage Singletary in this way is beyond me ( and I’ll speak for both Murph and Mac on this one, for them too). Although I do not have the answer, I am glad he did, and that "The Cohn Zone" posted the interview in four parts.

Cohn wrote: Some have complained Singletary may be interesting but that doesn't make him a good coach. Fair enough. This interview does not address his coaching abilities. I simply am trying to reveal the fascinating personality of the man who coaches the 49ers. To me that's worthwhile in itself. I hope you feel that way too.

Most surprising to me is that Singletary and Tim Tebow share a similar story, one that will be revealed during Super Bowl XLIV in an ad that has garnered much controversy. Tebow’s mother, Pam got sick while on a mission trip to the Philippines. Already the mother of four, she ignored a recommendation by her doctor to abort the child.

Cohn's interview revealed that Singletary's mother faced a similar predicament.

Before I was born the doctors really told my mom she should strongly consider having an abortion because Mom was a little older. I think she was close to 40 and had had several miscarriages and they just felt I would have a really tough time being a normal child and having a normal birth. So that was not an option for my mom or my dad and they just prayed and trusted God. It worked out that when I was born I did have some issues, bronchitis and had trouble breathing, pneumonia, in and out of the hospital for maybe the first six, seven years of my life. I remember sleeping in a tent, bubble kind of thing as a kid.

It’s as if the circumstances that surrounded their decisions not to abort have colored Tebow and Singletary’s worlds. Tebow continues to go on mission trips to the Philippines where he tends to the sick.

And the truth of the matter is all these years later, Mike Singletary is not normal. He is the only player in the Pro Football Hall of Fame to have his wife introduce him at the induction ceremony. Furthermore, he is the only father I know who has drafted a mission statement for his family that hangs in the home.

“The Home of Champions” chronicles how the Singletarys are a model of support and how “one night at the dinner table, Mike came up with the idea of creating a family mission statement. The statement still hands in their kitchen. It reads.

This is the home of champions. As Singletarys we will always strive to do our very best in all we do. We will strive to be honest and respect each other’s feelings, property and time. We will always pray for one another, fight for one another and encourage one another. For our trust be not in our home, nor our money or status or knowledge, but in each other, and above all, in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

”That was one of those moments when it hit me that, ‘Wow, this is so different from other people’s families," Kristen Singletary said.

Forty-Niner faithful know of this man’s mission. His m.o. “We want winners” has become the unofficial anthem of a team who longs for another Super Bowl title. But, you can’t look at this man on the field and believe it ends there. Without a doubt, Mike Singletary is different; he is not normal. Yet when Mike Singletary speaks to his players, the fans, and his family, you can’t help but believe he "wants winners" because he is one. Seeing IS believing.

*I would like to thank my student Kelli for passing along the article from the SF Chronicle about Tebow's Pro-Life message.

**I would also like to thank Ted Robinson, ND Grad and now voice of the Niners for sharing the San Jose Mercury News article about the Singletary Family with me.

Photo Credits
HOF
Solo Shot
Bruce

Free Agency: Revisited

I wanted to give Tom the perfect gift for his ordination to the priesthood. A card with a check was now out of the question. He already had a fair share of religious art, a lifetime supply of journals and considering his future studies, another book on spirituality was a near insult. After some careful deliberation, I went with a framed picture featuring our mutual friends and a fitting passage from scripture:

In our prayers for you we always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, for we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love that you have for all…. —Colossians1:3-4

I thought these words said it best, until I saw what his college buddies were oh so proud to present. Tom held high a pewter flask, engraved with the words, Poverty + Obedience + Chastity; reminding Tom of his vows to the Congregation of the Holy Cross. Let's raise one to religious life!

Spend some time with anyone vowed to the priesthood or religious life and they will let you in on a secret. Of the vows they take to their community, most concede the most challenging vow does not involve the one you might think. None are easy, but obedience can be particularly difficult. In fact, one friend refused to consider a call to religious life because she “wanted to be a free agent.” Her desire to serve the Lord was real, but not in such a way that she was willing to allow a religious community to determine how and where she would do that. Bearing that in mind, I found ESPN.com’s report Top A’s Prospect Enters Priesthood, inspiring yet riddled with irony. Grant Desme, a 23-year old outfielder is leaving baseball—a sport defined by free agency, to pursue his vocation to the priesthood.

The play on words is too much; vocation stems from the Latin, “to call.” MVP of the Arizona Fall League, ESPN reports that Desme would have likely “gotten the call every minor leaguer wants this spring,” a call to the “Bigs.” It seems however, he received another call, and he will begin what he says is “about a 10-year process.”

When Desme informed the A’s General Manager, Billy Beane of his aspiration to “higher things” Desme said that although Beane was “understanding and supportive,” the decision “sort of knocked him off his horse.” I wondered if Desme used those words intentionally, for St. Paul’s conversion began when he was knocked off his horse and blinded by the power of grace. Yet the fact that Saul—a man who had persecuted Christians became Paul—an apostle, a saint, a missionary, was shocking news during his day as well.

Grant Desme had an opportunity to play a sport our country reveres at the highest level. At some point during his days off “which gave him time to…read and study the Bible” he must have come across the passage from Luke 12: 48. It says, From everyone to whom much has been given, much will be required; and from the one to whom much has been entrusted, even more will be demanded. 

I know my friend Tom knew this passage; he thanked his mother for echoing Luke's Gospel at his ordination. Tom was student body president at Notre Dame, he had walked on the football team and left a successful business career to become a Holy Cross priest and now serves as VP for student affairs. It’s tough to say, but perhaps Grant Desme’s choice will lead others with whom much has been given to consider a vocation to the priesthood or religious life. Good luck with obedience.

Photo Credits
Desme
St Paul
Tom Doyle

The Bruce Mahoney Rivalry: Proof that Authentic Spirituality Leads to Community

Recently, a friend who resides in Oakland called me out the fact that I reference San Francisco as “The City.” Considering that I grew up in “The East Bay,” he was surprised that even I use such myopic language.

There are, after all, other cities in the US and the world—even other bay areas. I explained that my childhood is colored with memories of that fateful trek to “The City” to visit my grandparents. Today, I take great pride the fact I live in the place where my mother was born and raised. This is the language my mom and I speak, we know San Francisco as “The City.”

So imagine my chagrin when I recently read a cultural review of “Sex and the City” by James Martin, SJ editor of "America" magazine. He launched this same complaint about New Yorkers. When I read his words “the place that New Yorkers annoyingly call ‘the City, “ I suddenly felt a little defensive, a little territorial. “The City” is San Francisco. New York already has its fair share of unique descriptors—the Big Apple, Gotham City. Compared to Zoo York, we are but a one-horse town. Can we at least keep “The City?” With this question looming in my mind, imagine my pleasure when I read that "The New York Times," the unofficial source of wisdom and truth for one too many San Franciscans, gave a nod to the Bruce Mahoney basketball game. New York has a lot over San Francisco, but I would find it hard to believe that it has much over the high school rivalry that beats all in “The City. Truly, it is a spiritual experience.

In his article “I’m Spiritual, Who Needs Religion?” Tim Muldoon writes

People want spirituality (read: they want to feel good about their lives), and so will hop from one form of spiritual practice to the next in search of what they think will help…. The problem with this approach to spirituality is that it doesn't take seriously the very basic wisdom that comes from not only the history of spiritual literature, but also from more contemporary studies in psychology, sociology, political science, and others: namely, that human experience naturally involves suffering, and that living wisely means confronting this reality. Authentic spirituality takes seriously the fact that human beings across the ages have confronted many of the same basic dilemmas about being human: growing up, growing old; falling in love; pain and suffering; hope and joy; fear of death and hope for rebirth. It further recognizes that no individual can make him- or herself grow into wisdom, but that we must seek the counsel of others who have wrestled with these “limit questions” over time.

James’ article “Catholics Gather Courtside to Put Their Faith on Display” alludes to much of what Muldoon claims in terms of how and why “authentic spirituality leads to community.” Participation as either an athlete or a fan in the Bruce Mahoney games (football, basketball, and baseball) is a rite of passage for any St. Ignatius or Sacred Heart student.

These games serve as the lens by which the same basic dilemmas about being human are revealed. The rituals and the ambiance leading up to the game—the spirit themed days, the pep rally, the players dress up on game day and the extra attention they get in the hallways capture hope and joy. After losing the Bruce Mahoney trophy last year, this year’s senior class came into this school year with hope for rebirth. The game itself is a battle. The stakes are so high that at one point you can smell the fear of death. Once glance at the student section—a royal fire hazard or the lower seats—filled with a significant number of alums, gives witness to the reality that we grow up and we grow old. A win on Tuesday would have captured the Bruce Mahoney trophy for the year. Instead, our players and students had to confront pain and suffering not only on the court but perhaps more palpably the next day at school.

It is amazing how one game can serve as the paradigm by which my students wrestle with limit questions and hopefully grow into wisdom. The day after the Bruce, two former students who are basketball players came into my classroom just to talk about the game. After hugs and listening to their thoughts about the game, I myself was struck by what Michael, the team captain told me his coach advised. They were reminded that this game with this many fans, friends and family members was like no other. At some point during the game, their coach said they should take a moment to recognize what they were a part of, to remember to have fun and enjoy. I thought to myself, if a player, a student or an alum could do just that, how could he or she not feel good about their life? It is, after all, a spiritual experience.

Sure, I wish that the common faith of both schools still had the influence it once did. I would love for my students and their families to attend mass regularly and willingly and not have to apologize for doing so. Reality is, however, something different. It can be isolating, lonely and downright challenging to bear witness to all that the Catholic faith asks of us. But I find comfort in the words of Archbishop George H. Niederauer; “it isn’t ultimately a question of numbers and percentages. It is, you know, the quality of the faith life and of the spirituality.” Our students led prayer before the game, the players took a moment at their coach’s recommendation during the game to give thanks and their classmates, parents, and friends cheered for them and supported them until the end. I couldn’t be more proud of this unconventional way that Catholics put their faith on display this past week. Truly, authentic spirituality was found in this community—a community of faith and a community that is ready for the Bruce Mahoney baseball game that will take place in “The City” on April 16.

Photo Credits
SH Team
The City
Trophy
SI wins

My New Year’s Resolution: Rub Some Dirt On It.

A new year, a new decade; this is a welcome thing for Notre Dame Football. Legends, a popular university owned and operated restaurant and ale house is an ND sports fan's paradise. Along the perimeter of the pub is a time ine that chronicles the success of Notre Dame athletic history with the inception of its football team in 1887. It’s a thrill to take that walk around the restaurant and note Notre Dame’s accomplishments, particularly in football: 11* National Championships, 7 Heisman trophy winners, some legendary coaches and a striking number of All-Americans over 100+ years. When you arrive at the decade we just left however—the ’00s, apart a victory in the 2009 Hawaii Bowl to end the NCAA's record nine-game bowl losing streak, Notre Dame Football is painfully M.I.A.

True, during this time the Irish flourished in other sports such as soccer and hockey and reached new heights in women's' sports, my favorite being the 2001 women’s basketball NCAA Championship, but my recommendation on this New Year’s Day is to look back upon that decade and do as my resolution suggests—rub some dirt on it.

Football has a lexicon of its own—the gridiron, first down, and in the words of every other NFL player, “it is what it is.” Perhaps one of its lesser known but more colorful phrases is to "rub some dirt on it." A player would tell a teammate to do this after a failed attempt or a missed hit. It is synonymous with to “shake it off” or to “move on.” I also hope to take this expression and apply it to my own life.

Being a Christian means I am asked to respond to the challenge and call of the Gospel. Jesus’ teachings were countercultural, even in His day. Living in an increasingly secular place, this is no easy task. I am amazed and how often I am criticized, even attacked for what the Catholic faith may ask of me. More often than not, people offer their charged personal views and ask questions of me about the church’s teachings that they do not want answered. What people may not realize however is that I take their criticisms to heart. If someone has been hurt by a negative experience in the church, I cannot help but take that personally. However, this year, I have decided that when someone launches an unsolicited criticism on what I hold as sacred, and they typically do so at an inappropriate time e.g. in a bar or during a nice dinner, I just need to “rub some dirt on it.”

I am not the sole defender of the faith, nor do I want to be. I try to keep my faith front and center of my life but this is exceedingly difficult. Fortunately, my family members, friends and mentors nurture my faith and are willing to partake in the effort required to build it. Attacks on Christianity or assaults on the Catholic Church aren’t going away (and I’ve had my own!) so this year when they do occur, I hope to remember the wisdom St. Francis who said "Preach the Gospel at all times. When necessary, use words." In 2010 and beyond, I hope that the example of my life will serve as an answer to their questions, a counter to their criticism and if it don't, let's all just "rub some dirt on it."

*stands for the 1993 National Championship that was robbed from Notre Dame by Florida State. Despite the fact ND beat FSU during the regular season, the BCS gave Bobby Bowden his title and declared FSU #1.

**I cannot write this posting without recognizing two former students. Thanks to Alex for sharing with me, 4 years ago now, the goodness that is Peyton Manning. Alex, you know where it lives. And to Roy, what you declared about your beliefs (and your family's) during your Faith Stance your senior year took a tremendous amount of courage. I know you bring that same courage to the LAX field at Cornell.

Photo Credits
Irish Win
Manning
Banner