Content before Connection: Lesson from the 2025 AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am

Walking the course at Spyglass Hill, one of two golf venues that host the AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am, I turned to my friend Charlie and asked him, "Do you always connect with people?" The man talks to every third volunteer and patron. At one point Charlie cracked a great joke with one of the players's wives. Everyone is fair game. He told me, "I just want to make people laugh. If I can get a chuckle from them, that's a good day." I said "I had a student who once told me his goal was to make another person smile. Everyday. Those are two great goals."

Whether is a laugh, snort or a smile, connecting with other people is not something I take for granted. The effort and attempt to reach out to others makes the world a better place...a warmer place...it's more interesting too. And attending the 2025 AT&T Pro-Am reminded me it's both an art and science. I think it's worth consideration and further reflection. Here's what came up for me.

For many people, reaching out to a stranger/someone new is a bit of a risk. Therefore, I think it's important to connect with others in a way that is comfortable for you—reflective of your personal style. For me, this means content before connection. Whether it's at the American Century Championship in Lake Tahoe, AT&T Pebble Beach Pro Am or at my own club—I like to offer an observation, insight or information as my way of connecting. 

One might not need any content to connect when it's this beautiful out....

For example, when I stood near Jay Bilas on the 14th hole at the American Century Championship, I brought up an anecdote from his book "Toughness." A friend had given me the book to read and I finished it—not for the purpose of connecting with the Duke basketball star turner announcer, but because I wanted to learn if one can coach toughness. While I did not mention that question, I did say I couldn't believe the story about the game he played after having his wisdom teeth out. We both laughed. I met Charlie and my own goal in that space!

Other connections are born from observations about a person. For instance, walking off the 13th green, the crowd surrounded Stephen Curry hoping for an autograph or photo. He had to pause and wait for the ropes to clear so he could proceed to the next tee box. I said "Steph! What? no mouth guard?!" He looked at me out of the corner of his eye. He laughed and smiled. My student would have been proud. The Warriors great gave me a smile, but another NBA star, Chris Webber might have one of the most electric smiles I've seen. Rather than give a nod to his success at Michigan with yet another "Go Blue!" I told my friend to comment on his megawatt smile. He was so moved he gladly took a picture with her to show off those pearly whites.

Harrison Smith is known by his teammates at ND as "Hayseed."
Inside Irish is always a good point of connection

And one of my all time favorite connections was born from a conversation I did not even have with Aaron Rodgers. I chronicled that exchange in the post: Lessons in Leadership: The Importance of The Table, Thank you, Aaron Rodgers. Thanks to the Netflix series: Enigma, I already know what I want to say to him this year. 

Content before Connection isn't for everyone. You might have your own way of relating to others. And in no way is it a fail proof way of connecting. For example, although we followed the English golfer Justin Rose for 13 holes, I didn't have anything special to say. This was unfortunate as we had ample time and space to connect and I had seen the show "Full Swing!"  Furthermore, content before connection can be a challenge when what I know or am thinking about isn't exactly positive. I didn't want to bring up how astonishing it is to me that Alex Smith, the retired quarterback and first round draft choice of the San Francisco 49ers, was 9-13 in his first three seasons with the team. In fact, he didn't play half of the games. No one wants to connect over that! I have to think this is where a smile is sufficient.

As a teacher in a Jesuit school, I have been formed to focus on connection before content. The Ignatian Pedagogical Paradigm urges teachers to walk through the student's door. The program suggests that all learning is . . .

• Situated in a specific context 
• Rooted in previous experience and the result of new learning experiences.
  
  
  

Our job is to find out how that relates and connects to the lives of our students and go from there. I find this to be a valuable framework for teaching and for learning....but outside the classroom—this past weekend—I was reminded there might be other ways of proceeding. In the meantime, I would like to offer a few questions for your personal consideration.

• How do you connect with other people? What approach works for you?
• Do you have a goal to brighten another person's day? make them laugh? smile? 
• What do you know, think or see that might be meaningful, unique or fun for another person to hear? 

I think taking on an approach that works for you puts you on the path toward connection. Something we all need. 

Photo Credits
Celebs
IPP