Good Recommedation, Great Friend: The Gift of Building Others Up

We get recommendations about shows to watch and movies to see all the time. What prompts you to put that series into your queue? What gets you to press play? How often do you really listen to a friend or family member's advice?

I believe I follow up on a recommendation based on the message and the messenger. Sorta. If it's a messenger I know and trust, a person who "gets" my passions, interests, indiosyncracies— then I am all in. I'm grateful for these influencers. And one of the best is my friend and classmate, Alex Montoya.

Check out this photo....Cyndi Lauper. MJ. The Boss. Is that Kenny Loggins or Billy Joel?!

In late January 2024, Alex sent me a text that said: You have to see “The Greatest Night in Pop” on Netflix. Wow.

Alex knows me. He knows and shares my love of music. I opened up my laptop and 96 minutes later came up for air. I must have emailed and texted any and everyone my age and older who I knew would delight in the collaborative genius.

However, I thanked Alex for the recommendation first. We shared our observations and musing. His insights are always on point—or rather in tune and on key. He asked me when I was going to write about the program  for this blog. I gave it a pass—but not a hard one. I quoted from another one of our favorites movies and said "negative ghostrider. The pattern is full." I added, "Remember, this is a blog about sports and spirituality!"  Though I have touched on music over the years, my focus is always on sports...sports with a spiritual problem. And nothing about this documentary connected those dots. That is, until it did. It does. It has. It will. Here's the scoop.

Readers look good on you, A-Mo

Thirty five plus years of being a Springsteen fan has given me a lot of expsoure to and understanding of The Boss. I've seen him live 23 times, I have read at least five books about him, countless articles and more. I always pay very close attention to his message, his body language, his affect and his insights when he speaks in concert and especially in interviews. When Bruce Springsteen weighs in on a music documentary, people listen. Though I find him rather diffident, he is a legend, a musical genius, a singer and a songwriter, a poet and a performer.

Springsteen plays an important part in the recording of "We Are the World." Coming in hot from the Born in the USA tour, he made a good effort to be in Los Angeles for the session. Almost 40 years later, he still looks good (he turns 75 on 9/23). He recalls why he decided to show up and what that great night was like. As the egos were checked at the door and different voices found their harmony, in one snapshot scence (from today) Springsteen said, "Steve Perry can sing. He's got that great voice, up in that Sam Cooke territory."His words did not surprise me. The  realization I had from the documentary however did.

Bruce Springsteen always always always builds up other musicians. In countless interviews, I have heard him name the music he is listening to and what music he is excited about. He thanks those who have gone before him, who has made an impact, and how they did it. I know who they are because he builds them up. Examples include The Clash, the Sex Pistols, Bob Dylan, Elvis, Johnny Cash, Ray Charles, Elvis Costello and more. He speaks to their strengths. He shares what inspires him about other artists, too. What an exceptional quality.

One could say that Bruce is able to compliment others because he is so secure and grounded in who he is and the success he has had. To me, that's a sad, sullen justification. Not everything in life is a competition. To give credit where credit is due, to offer praise and build someone up costs nothing. It's just so easy to tear others down. People do it all the time. However, I've noticed—it may feel right at the moment, but ultimately it leaves everyone feeling less connected, less loving, less whole...less holy. Life is hard enough. I don't know why we can't build each other up instead of tear each other down. 

This singular, stand out quality in Bruce Springsteen has prompted me to look for it in others. Fortunately, I have found it in a few people. Though my Dad is not an athlete (today) one of the reasons I think my he is a great sports fan is because of the way he builds up certain athletes. For example, Jeff Ulbrich was one of the candidates for the position of defensive coordinator with the 49ers. Ulbrich, who is currently with the Jets played at linebacker for the Niners for nine years. My dad said, "I loved his drive and desire on the field. He was a total overacheiver. The man always played hard. I can see that now as he coaches on the sidelines. Doesn't surprise me." One might read "overachiever" as a put down—it's not. Ulbrich played up. He was more than his height and weight and what his scouting report ever put into print. 

For reasons like this, I enjoy talking to my Dad about sports. He has a good habit for finding the best in a player, especially when they are on our team....and even when they are not. Let me be clear—what I am referring to should not be confused with toxic positivity (more on that another time. Sorry Denver).

In my Lenten journal from The Grotto Network, I was invited to respond to this quote and question today, Day 22 of Lent

He who goes aboutto reform the world must begin with himself. —St. Ignatius of Loyola
Name one change you would like to see in the world. How can you make a starting point within yourself for that change? 

I truly would like to live in a world that builds others up. I hope we can see, recognize and celebrate the gifts and talents of one others and ourselves. Let us not always view ourselves in competition with one another. As written in the song "We are the World" We're all a part of God's great big family And the truth, you know, love is all we need."

Thank you, Alex for building me up all these years and believing in my writing. I managed to get a little sports and a whole lot of spirituality in here.

Photo Credits

We are the World
Boss interview
Jeff U