A Question Worth Asking: Why play a sport if you're not good at it...?!

A close friend of mine, a former teammate and avid sports fan once told me why she and her husband spend so much money, time and personal resources into the development of their children's athletic experiences.  "It's not fun to play a sport if you're not any good at it. Who wants to suck?" I was horrified by her words, primarily because they struck a nerve. Why?  Deep down inside, I knew that both a big part of me agreed with her and ferociously disagreed with her. And yet, her words have stayed with me because they spawn a question worth asking: Is she right? 

Sopan Deb's article How I Found Common Ground With My Immigrant Dad on a Tennis Court provides the answer I suppose I want to hear..or need to hear. Please read the article for yourself. It's funny, insightful, and surprising.

Deb writes:

There was one other issue, though: Shyamal (the author's father)  was terrible too. Really bad. I mean, so was I, but I had an excuse. This was not a grand display of tennis on either side. This was the opposite of Borg vs. McEnroe. It was more like two Muppets facing off. I stopped feeling bad for the ball boy once I saw him openly laughing at some of our volleys. Shyamal trotted from one side of the court to the other, flailing at my serves, which were surprising each time they made it over the net. 

I had thought he was being polite by playing down his tennis skills. He actually was terrible. What was his coach teaching him that whole time? 

After an hour, we mercifully ended our eyesore of a match. Neither of us kept score, but we didn’t need to. We both lost.

The sports metaphor looms large for a reason. As an athlete and as a coach, I know when I have lost and lost (think of this as the negative, lower left quadrant on the x, y axis/graph). I also know I have won, even when the scoreboard says otherwise. Such is the case here for the Deb men.

Shyamal Deb plays tennis and sucks at it. He has invested in instruction and has the equipment and wardrobe to play the part and yet, his game is still terrible. His talent, or lack thereof doesn't diminish the shared experience that unfolds. Or the insights and lessons he and his son have gained from trying to hit a fuzzy tennis ball over a net—replete with a hired ball boy! 

The authnor, Sopan Deb is a basketball writer and a contributor to the culture section for The New York Times

I have always believed one of the many gifts of sports is that serves as another means of communication—both verbal and nonverbal. I know people because I have run, played basketball or a round of golf with them in a way that is very different, often intimate, playful, challenging and endearing. 

Perhaps this is what children are always seeking from their parents and parents from their children—a relationship so important that the memories made, the physical strife, communication without words are worth investing—whether you suck or not. I think one of the comments says it much better: When going fishing with your father it is never about the fish.... Amen.

Photo Credits
Sopan Deb
Tennis Court

The Last Dance: Discussion Guide Part 1 of 5

The sports gods must know how desperate we are for new content. With the NFL draft taking place tonight, Notre Dame women's basketball coach Muffet McGraw announcing her retirement after 33 years at the helm and the fact that we are but three days away from the next two installments of the latest 30 for 30: The Last Dance, sports fans everywhere have some good material to chew on. We will make it! 

While the subject of this documentary event isn't exactly new—it tells the story of Michael Jordan's career, through the lens of his final season with the Chicago Bulls—this ten part series began with but two episodes on Sunday April 19, 2020. Even though fans tweeted "Can I watch the other 8 episodes NOW please!" you will have to pretend like it is 1997-1998 again, when we had to wait!

What has impressed me most are the number of talking points that emerge—in particular for coaches and athletes from this unfolding story. Thus, what you have here is the first of five posts, serving as a  discussion guide. Since the proverbial water cooler is quarantined, find a way to create your own and I hope you reach out to other coaches, athletes and sports fans to break open and discuss. Please share other ideas or questions it has sparked for you!

Episode 1:

• Jerry Krause, GM of the Chicago Bulls said "players and coaches alone don't win championships, organizations do." Respond.
• The name of the program is a reference to the title Coach Phil Jackson used for the Bulls 1997-1998 season. Do you /have you named  a season? Ever given it a title? Is this idea appealing to you?

Episode 2: 

• Scottie Pippen elected to undergo surgery on a ruptured tendon in his ankle before the season concluded, He admitted that he didn't want to spend his summer rehabbing (projected at two to three months). Jordan and Jackson have very different reactions to Pippen's choice. Do you think he made the right decision?
• Michael Jordan's fundamental principle of sport—as evidenced so clearly post-injury is: You do it at the highest level possible and to the best of your ability every time. Respond.
• Why does Jordan say he will not play for another coach?  How and what does Phil do to develop relationships and keep everyone moving in one direction?

Please note, a viewer can choose to watch with mature language or not. Always glad to see the option!

Photo Credits
MJ and Pippen
The Last Dance

The Jewelry of Jerry Jeudy: the power and significance of Religious symbols

Alabama's Jerry Jeudy caught the attention of many at the 2020 NFL scouting combine. In some ways, this might be surprising. Standing 6'1" tall and weighing 192 lbs., Jeudy is not a physical specimen. Furthermore, this year has a talented group of wide receivers. But folks took notice because Jeudy prominently wore a Star of David on a necklace. 

It's not uncommon for athletes to wear jewelry— symbolizing their religious tradition, or for them to use the platform of sport to talk about it.  As noted on ESPN, 

Asked about its significance, he explained it was in reference to the first syllable of his surname.

"My last name's Jeudy. People sometimes call me 'Jew,' ... So, I just got a Jewish star," he explained. "I'm not Jewish, though."

The Star of David, known in Hebrew as the shield of David, is a six-pointed star formed of two, often interlaced, equilateral triangles and is a widely recognized symbol of modern Jewish identity and Judaism. 

Listening to this story reminded me of the power of symbol, what do we hold as sacred and how do we personally respect that and ask it of others.

I was once asked to write a blog posting in response to the question: Is it okay to wear a Rosary? For those who don't know the Rosary Latin for rosarium, “rose garden” is a religious exercise in which prayers are recited and counted on a string of beads or a knotted cord. By extension, the beads or cord may also be called a rosary. It is a it is associated with the Catholic faith.  I enjoyed the opportunity to research, reflect upon and answer the question. You can read my full response here, but essential answer is as follows:

Ginny Kibityz Moyer captures an answer quite well. She says, “The rosary isn’t jewelry; it’s a sacramental, which is an object meant to help bring about spiritual effects through the prayer or devotion it inspires. (Sacramentals don’t have any sort of magic power in and of themselves; the positive graces come through the prayers.) Many people argue that if you wear a rosary around your neck, you are treating it more like a fashion accessory than a sacramental and are thus distorting its intended purpose.” 

Ultimately, only the one who wears the Rosary can speak to why he or she is wearing it, but I think it’s important to understand—although a distinction: between jewelry and sacramental, it is an important one. Rosaries are never mere jewelry or “fashion accessories” and yet, I can understand how there might be some confusion and/or need for clarification.

The Rosary is however, not the Cross—the symbol of Christianity. When I encounter a person who wears a cross, I assume that they are a follower of Christ and that their faith is important to them. I say that because Christians are not required to wear a cross; I would would hardly refer to it as a fashion accessory (although Tiffany and Co has had a beautiful one by designer Elsa Peretti that is very popular). I have heard from marketers that the cross is the most widely recognized symbol in the world and yet, to wear one around one's neck, visible and made public is still a statement to me. I do not wear a cross, but I have often thought that I should. I am not ashamed of my faith and it is important to me. I do value wearing religious jewelry and have work a miraculous medal for years. I love when people ask me about it and the opportunity to share its significance.

I work in a Catholic school and am a member of a Catholic parish so my perspective on the world is skewed (meaning, I tend to know a lot of Catholics). I do not see men or women wearing a Star of David often, but when I do, I see them in the way I see a Christian who wears a cross. I assume that their faith is important to them and they are proud of their Jewish identity. 

In the United States, Jews are but 1.9% of the total population (Pew Forum). Undoubtedly this number would be higher were it not for the Holocaust of 6 million Jews in World War II. Moreover, the rise of anti-semitism and hate crimes against Jews, leads me to believe the Star of David carries increased weight and significance as a sacred symbol. To me, it deserves the utmost respect.

It is worth reporting that Jeudy, tweeted an apology.

"Don't mean no disrespect to the Jewish people! I'm sorry to the people who take my chain offensive!!" Jeudy wrote.

Jeudy has put a picture of Aaliyah—his younger sister who died— in a Star of David. When he looks at it, he says, "she's right there." 

I do not write this blog posting an as indictment against Jerry Jeudy. I do however think it serves as a great place for us to discuss: How do we recognize and understand the meaning of symbols, in particular religious one? Do some hold more weight than others? Do we have a (moral) obligation, to understand the meaning of a sacred symbol we decide to wear? And when a symbol we consider sacred is co-opted to speak to one another about it. 

One of my favorite professors at Yad Vashem in Israel once told me, "if you put two Jews in a room, you will have three opinions." I wonder for all those who watch the draft this Thursday, what their opinion on this topic might be whether you are Jewish, Christian and so forth. I personally don't think the Star of David should be used as a "frame" or worn by a person of another faith, but let's talk....please, anything other than COVID-19 for a minute!

Photo Credits
Rosary
Draft
Red Jersey
Star of David

Savor This: The Story of Sabrina Inoescu—The No. 1 Pick in the 2020 WNBA Draft

While sports fans deprived of action and activity, story and saga anxiously await the NFL draft, set to begin this Thursday, April 23, I hope they were satiated, even if just for 48 hours in the excitement and outcome of the WNBA draft which took place Friday, April 17. Why? The number one pick Sabrina Ionescu from my hometown of Walnut Creek, California and the University of Oregon was the number one pick. Her player profile is worth watching, savoring and celebrating.

When winter sports championships and spring seasons were cancelled, I felt the most sorry for Ionescu of all people, of all teams in all of college athletics. That's a strong statement. Here's why. 

Ionescu, the triple-double queen, stayed at Oregon for her senior season so that she and her teammates could earn a national title. The Ducks who rallied to the lead in the fourth quarter of the women's 2019 NCAA tournament's semi-final game, missed critical shots down the stretch in a loss to Baylor. The Baylor Bears went on to defeat the Fightin' Irish of Notre Dame in the championship. Ionescu says this was her greatest disappointment....and not getting to play in in this year's tournament. 

But rather than focus on what she has lost, she chooses to highlight all that she has gained. In an interview with Mina Kimes of ESPN Sports Daily, she said "I think I gained so much: maturity, leadership, the relationships that I built during this last year. So many people were excited and happy that I returned and I think the community around women's basketball at Oregon grew. It was eye opening to see just all the relationships I made in this last year and just how close as a team we got. Obviously that translated on the court as well, evolving my game and helping me get better on all sides."

My respect for Ionescu is unparalleled. In one way it angers me that people only know who she is because she has been befriended by the late Kobe Bryant and regularly shoots around with fellow East Bay resident Steph Curry. But the greats know a great, so I get it.

As an athlete, this lefty who stands 5'11" is the first player in Division 1 history with 2000 points, 1000 assists and 1000 rebounds. A McDonald's All American became the three time Pac-12 player of the year. She is relentless. She has perfected the floater, and earned the Wooden Award as the country's most outstanding player for the second straight year.

Her personal demeanor is equally impressive. Kimes stated "every mock draft, every analyst article has you projected as the number one pick. How does that make you feel?" Inoescu could have said "grateful" or "pumped." Instead she said "until my name is called, until I can sign the paper, I'm not too excited about it. I don't want to be disappointed so I don't expect anything. Obviously very humbled and excited about the opportunity of playing in Brooklyn and in that organization, but until I hear my name called, I'm keeping a level head."

No spoiler alert here. Inosecu did go first. As written on ESPN "it is still historic for the University of Oregon women’s basketball program as Ionescu is the first player in its history to be selected at No. 1. Less than an hour into the draft, the Ducks had three players selected in the first eight selections with Satou Sabally going No. 2 to Dallas and Ruthy Hebard going No. 8 to Chicago."

Inosecu has her work cut out for her. The Liberty were 10-24 last season. "I know what it's like to build a program from the ground up, so that doesn't scare me at all. I'm excited to be a piece of the puzzle and get things rolling."

The truth is that many sports are player profile driven. Ionescu is a great face for a great game. So be it if people only learned about her on the day she spoke at Kobe's memorial and then set a new NCAA record. She will be around for years to come and given her love for the game and great competition, it will be more exciting to see. Congratulations Sabrina, and congrats to your partner-in-crime, your twin brother Eddy. My theory is you might not have gotten here without him!

Photo Credits
Three Ducks
Liberty Pick

Twins

Checking for Understanding Part Three: Why the Greats are Great

This blog post, the third in my series entitle Checking for Understanding seeks to answer one of favorite questions: "Why are the greats great?" I'm not so interested in what makes the great ones tick, but I do want to know: What do they do? How do they think? and What habits do they hold that make the difference? As a sports fan, there is no shortage of articles/polls/blogs/lists that seek to identify the G.O.A.T., the Mount Rushmore, your All-Star team. Who you deem worthy of that title or position is up to you. I've got ideas too. But my question remains: Why is "X" great?

I have found that when I really and truly want to know something, the answer often finds me. Yes, we can research our topic, we can around and inquire from others, but I almost enjoy it more when I do and don't make that happen. And, questions, like the one I am asking make for good conversation. It's fun to see how people respond.

So before I share an answer, Check for understanding on 1) the idea of letting answers find you and 2) what makes the greats, great. 

Ready? This is what I have found....

In the article Swan Song: The key partner for Kobe Bryant in the Lakers' two post-Shaq titles says goodbye—and pines for some relentless dedication, Pau Gasol (with Lee Jenkins) writes
about his late teammate, who many consider one of basketball's all-time greats, Kobe Bryant. Gasol who played with Bryant for six seasons, earning two rings said:

If you play with him, you're looking every day at living proof of why the greats are the greats. It's not by accident. It's an obsession to reach that level and remain at that level. The dedication, the commitment, is such a unique thing. You don't find it. He inspired me to be better, to see the game in a more detailed way.

Reading the latter part of Gasol's description stayed with me. I heard the same words—seeing "the game in a more detailed way"—when former Patriot's tight end Aaron Hernandez described his coach, Bill Belichick.

Although the Netflix documentary Killer Inside: The Mind of Aaron Hernandez is a tragic tale, it doesn't negate the fact that Belichick was regarded by Hernandez, Gronkowski, Brady and countless others are aware they play for one of the greatest coaches of all time. The documentary states why: Belichick pays incredible attention to detail.

I took note of the commonality in the answers that found me. I started to wonder, do all greats incredible attention to detail. And, if so, what does THAT mean. Why is it important? 

With those questions in mind, another answer found me as I was listening to the podcast Fresh Air: Winston Churchill and Fearless Leadership. There is no transcript for this show so I have summarized what I learned here. But check it out and give it a listen for yourself.

Erik Larson, the author of  The Splendid And The Vile said, in commenting on Churchill's outstanding leadership during crisis—World War II—that the man loved to work. He said, 

His work ethic was outstanding, but not just because he worked incredibly long hours. but because he wasn't afraid to dive into the weeds and explore even the most detailed elements of government or what was going on at that time. And so, he would send off these memoranda or minutes to his ministers directly and would explore these minute points. This had the very interesting affect of putting these ministers on guard because suddenly the bureaucratic piece of their ministries was being completely uended by this man who really had an interest in everything they were doing, down to the nuts and bolts of their operation. This made people stand up and pay attention to what they were doing themselves and put them on the mark. 

In Larson' description of Churchill, I gained a sense of what it means to pay attention to detail and why that is important. I love the expression of "diving into the weeds." When you are passionate about a subject, the weeds might actually be a flower! 

I also know how much better I perform when I am being held accountable, advised and directed by a superior.  When this leader is inspiring, that attribute makes me want to do even better. When that leader is a micromanager and discouraging close attention to the details can be tedious and laborious. We all do what we have to do, but if we share a common goal and want to win, this might be the necessary path.

Checking for understanding around the question: What makes the greats great—and one answer: paying attention to detail should prompt you to ask yourself. Where are you willing to dive into the weeds? What do you take notice of and pay close attention to? How might people know this? And if you can't answer this question just yet, maybe an answer will find you.... Let me know!

Photo Credits
Churchill
AH and BB
Kobe and Pau