One of the intentions offered at Sunday mass was "for artists, musicians, authors and poets. In gratitude for the beauty and truth that they bring to our world." I paused when I heard the word author. I immediately thought of my friend and classmate Alex Montoya. All of ten minutes before Mass, I finished his latest book I'm Not a Robot and Neither Are You! I have read all of Alex's books but this one pierced my heart. I laughed, I cried and yes, I too burst into "I Want to Know What Love Is." As the lector proclaimed "For this, we pray to the Lord." I enthusiastically responded "Lord, hear our prayer."
I had the pleasure of meeting up with Alex this July in his beloved East Village neighborhood in San Diego. I wanted to catch up with him and also introduce him to my two nieces. Alex’s warm presence made an immediate impression—Grace and Lucy were captivated by his stories. Father Greg Boyle had it right when he said "good stories come to those who tell them." Alex has made a living—literally and metaphorically in doing so.
During our visit, Alex handed me a copy of his sixth book. At first, I thought the title was a little generic. Little did I know that the foreshadowing he offers in the introduction—about the title— would become one of the most meaningful parts of his work.
Whether you’ve known Alex for two minutes, two years, or twenty, he has a way of turning expectations on their head—flipping the script, proving doubters (like me) wrong, and reminding others why they were right to believe in him. Through it all, he consistently offers inspiration and hope—something we all need. Therefore, I’d like this post to serve as both a book review and a recommendation.
The premise of I'm Not a Robot and Neither are You! is not new. The science behind cultivating an “attitude of gratitude” is well documented, and creating a gratitude list is a familiar practice—whether or not one is religious or spiritual. What sets this book apart, however, is the perspective and experiences of the author. What Alex has been given, and what he chooses to be grateful for, made me eager to read each entry. He even notes, “My Gratitude List is 500 items long. But don’t worry, I don’t list them all. I’m not trying to recreate War and Peace here.” I don’t know, Alex—if more of us saw the world as you do, we might actually find ourselves a little closer to world peace.
Montoya organizes his reflections into five themed chapters, and the evidence speaks for itself: the more I read, the more I found myself highlighting, tabbing, and wanting to remember.
I’ve often heard that reading expands our capacity for empathy. Through Alex’s gratitude list, I came to better understand the physical, mental, and emotional challenges of living with a disability. None can be separated from the other. At the same time, I grew in admiration for my friend’s resolve and resilience. He has fallen and gotten back up—or out of a bathtub as one story reveals (#78: Splish, Splash I was taking a bath). In another entry, Alex recalls being in a grocery store when a stranger blurted out, “Dang, dude, look at you. Lookin’ like a robot up in here. Are you a robot?” Instead of ignoring the man or reacting in anger, Alex did the unexpected. AND he wrote about it, too. Please, read for yourself (#487: I'm Not a Robot).
Speaking of... a few of his "thank you notes" also serve as valuable reminders. For example "Gratitude List Item #161: Wait List" states
One thing that makes most of us unhappy is waiting. We live in an era of instant gratification. Waiting at the bank, doctor's office, airport or anywhere else is not pleasant. Unless you bring reading material! It is fairly common for people to state they intend to read more. This is a perfect opportunity. ... I am grateful that reading whenever I wait has increased my peace and patience.Alex loves to carry Notre Dame Magazine with him. I love that he has been profiled in this quarterly journal several times. One of my all time favorites is from Stories of Us. Go Irish.
I love sports. If it bounces, I'll watch it—particularly football, baseball, soccer and basketball. Even sports I am not a rabid fan of I will still watch casually and keep track of it's leading athletes or teams. When I immigrated to the United States at age 4, my first entrée into American culture was through athletics.My aunt, who I was just increasingly calling "mom" taught me the rules and nuances of football. Mom told me when I watched a game on television,"Pay attention. Every play matters." No wonder then that my teacher said, "Alex Montoya, no wonder you know so much about sports. You are the only student in here actually watching the game."
Neighborhood play and schoolyard recess had already shown me that with three prosthetics, I couldn't play very many team sports. But I could announce them as play-by-play, which my friends loved. I could analyze and dissect gains on TV, which made mama proud. And I could recount every last play, which impressed my teachers. At age six, I already knew I would love sports forever.
Alex urges his audience at all times to "See the Good." The man truly does it. More than once the outcomes and takeaways from his challenges humbled and humored me. In "Gratitude List Item #342: God Won't Rob You," Alex shares story an extra Padres ticket only to "go to the game solo, like Han." (that's Star Wars humor for you). He admits "I was a little miffed that day that God hadn't made it so my extra ticket was used by a buoyant buddy or beautiful brunette. Then, when I saw the seats next to me were empty I felt especially lonely." You need to read it to find out who shows up. I guarantee you too will ask, "Who says God can't?!"
In Scripture, we are told, “If you seek, you shall find.” I am grateful that Alex sought, found, and chose to share through story. I plan to read select entries with my students throughout the semester, and I invite you to do the same with your own children, family, or friends. Perhaps his book will even inspire you to begin a Gratitude List of your own. If it does, be prepared! Alex writes, “The more you are grateful for, the more God will give you.” I love this perspective—it echoes the bold question Alex asks: “Who says God can’t?!”
I don't think you can make up what transpired in #408: Sing Along. The story came to to Alex (and to Cort) because he can tell it. And he should. Alex, you know what love is: the love of God, of family—both near and far, or friends—old and new. Thank you for giving and receiving love—in abundance. Something else a robot can't do.
Photo Credits
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Alex and Books
In the Dugout
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