Book Review and Recommendation: I'm Not a Robot and Neither Are You by Alex Montoya

One of the intentions offered at Sunday mass was "for artists, musicians, authors and poets. In gratitude for the beauty and truth that they bring to our world." I paused when I heard the word author. I immediately thought of my friend and classmate Alex Montoya. All of ten minutes before Mass, I finished his latest book I'm Not a Robot and Neither Are You! I have read all of Alex's books but this one pierced my heart. I laughed, I cried and yes, I too burst into "I Want to Know What Love Is." As the lector proclaimed "For this, we pray to the Lord." I enthusiastically responded "Lord, hear our prayer."

I had the pleasure of meeting up with Alex this July in his beloved East Village neighborhood in San Diego. I wanted to catch up with him and also introduce him to my two nieces. Alex’s warm presence made an immediate impression—Grace and Lucy were captivated by his stories. Father Greg Boyle had it right when he said "good stories come to those who tell them." Alex has made a living—literally and metaphorically in doing so. 

During our visit, Alex handed me a copy of his sixth book. At first, I thought the title was a little generic. Little did I know that the foreshadowing he offers in the introduction—about the title— would become one of the most meaningful parts of his work.

Whether you’ve known Alex for two minutes, two years, or twenty, he has a way of turning expectations on their head—flipping the script, proving doubters (like me) wrong, and reminding others why they were right to believe in him. Through it all, he consistently offers inspiration and hope—something we all need. Therefore, I’d like this post to serve as both a book review and a recommendation.  

The premise of I'm Not a Robot and Neither are You! is not new. The science behind cultivating an “attitude of gratitude” is well documented, and creating a gratitude list is a familiar practice—whether or not one is religious or spiritual. What sets this book apart, however, is the perspective and experiences of the author. What Alex has been given, and what he chooses to be grateful for, made me eager to read each entry. He even notes, “My Gratitude List is 500 items long. But don’t worry, I don’t list them all. I’m not trying to recreate War and Peace here.” I don’t know, Alex—if more of us saw the world as you do, we might actually find ourselves a little closer to world peace.

Montoya organizes his reflections into five themed chapters, and the evidence speaks for itself: the more I read, the more I found myself highlighting, tabbing, and wanting to remember.

I’ve often heard that reading expands our capacity for empathy. Through Alex’s gratitude list, I came to better understand the physical, mental, and emotional challenges of living with a disability. None can be separated from the other. At the same time, I grew in admiration for my friend’s resolve and resilience. He has fallen and gotten back up—or out of a bathtub as one story reveals (#78: Splish, Splash I was taking a bath). In another entry, Alex recalls being in a grocery store when a stranger blurted out, “Dang, dude, look at you. Lookin’ like a robot up in here. Are you a robot?” Instead of ignoring the man or reacting in anger, Alex did the unexpected. AND he wrote about it, too. Please, read for yourself (#487: I'm Not a Robot).

Speaking of... a few of his "thank you notes" also serve as valuable reminders. For example "Gratitude List Item #161: Wait List" states

One thing that makes most of us unhappy is waiting. We live in an era of instant gratification. Waiting at the bank, doctor's office, airport or anywhere else is not pleasant. Unless you bring reading material! It is fairly common for people to state they intend to read more. This is a perfect opportunity. ... I am grateful that reading whenever I wait has increased my peace and patience.

Alex loves to carry Notre Dame Magazine with him. I love that he has been profiled in this quarterly journal several times. One of my all time favorites is from Stories of Us. Go Irish.

Our friendship has grown and deepened since college because we share so common values and interests. We check in on music documentaries, sports lore and of course our love for ND. Alex oversees a Facebook group that I follow closely, "Irish Fans United." I love his breakdowns of each football game, usually written 12, 24 or 48 hours after the contest. His entry "Gratitude Item List #7: Sports Department" he writes

I love sports. If it bounces, I'll watch it—particularly football, baseball, soccer and basketball. Even sports I am not a rabid fan of I will still watch casually and keep track of it's leading athletes or teams. When I immigrated to the United States at age 4, my first entrée into American culture was through athletics.

My aunt, who I was just increasingly calling "mom" taught me the rules and nuances of football. Mom told me when I watched a game on television,"Pay attention. Every play matters." No wonder then that my teacher said, "Alex Montoya, no wonder you know so much about sports. You are the only student in here actually watching the game."

Neighborhood play and schoolyard recess had already shown me that with three prosthetics, I couldn't play very many team sports. But I could announce them as play-by-play, which my friends loved. I could analyze and dissect gains on TV, which made mama proud. And I could recount every last play, which impressed my teachers. At age six, I already knew I would love sports forever.

Alex reminds me of a simple truth: pay attention. Taking notice and observing what is unfolding on the field (and not your phone) makes for a passion that is both intelligent and infectious. He is a great friend and teacher in and through sport. 

Alex urges his audience at all times to "See the Good." The man truly does it. More than once the outcomes and takeaways from his challenges humbled and humored me. In "Gratitude List Item #342: God Won't Rob You," Alex shares story an extra Padres ticket only to "go to the game solo, like Han." (that's Star Wars humor for you). He admits "I was a little miffed that day that God hadn't made it so my extra ticket was used by a buoyant buddy or beautiful brunette. Then, when I saw the seats next to me were empty I felt especially lonely." You need to read it to find out who shows up. I guarantee you too will ask, "Who says God can't?!"

In Scripture, we are told, “If you seek, you shall find.” I am grateful that Alex sought, found, and chose to share through story. I plan to read select entries with my students throughout the semester, and I invite you to do the same with your own children, family, or friends. Perhaps his book will even inspire you to begin a Gratitude List of your own. If it does, be prepared!  Alex writes, “The more you are grateful for, the more God will give you.” I love this perspective—it echoes the bold question Alex asks: “Who says God can’t?!”

I don't think you can make up what transpired in #408: Sing Along. The story came to to Alex (and to Cort) because he can tell it. And he should. Alex, you know what love is: the love of God, of family—both near and far, or friends—old and new. Thank you for giving and receiving love—in abundance. Something else a robot can't do. 

Photo Credits
Book
Alex and Books
In the Dugout 

Seven Stages Teachers Go Through During Summer Break: Sports and Spirituality Style

Calling all teachers. If you are seeking authenticity and honesty, insight and truth—look no further than Stages Teachers Go through During Summer Break. (I hope that made you laugh). I do not doubt that this meme will resonate with you. And, it can serve as a great way for us to capture how we spent the last eight weeks. Given that teachers I work with report to school tomorrow and start classes on Friday, it's time for Sports and Spirituality to speak to each stage. Enjoy.

Summer 2025.

Stage One: The Sleeping Stage (June)
In the 1980s, a banner inside the Edmonton Oilers’ hockey stadium proclaimed, “On the eighth day, God made Gretzky.” What it didn’t say—or remind us—is that this might have been possible because, on the seventh day, He rested.

So too it is with teachers. There has to be some time for sleep—because it's not a given during the school year. Nothing is more liberating that those first few days of sleeping in, sleeping long, and sleeping hard. Love this stage.

Stage Two: The Health Stage (Mid-June)
The narrator proclaims "I don't think I'm going to have another carb all summer. No seriously, I think I'm going to work out twice a day...starting tomorrow."

Although the story was published in the late July issue of Men's Health, the feature Luka Dončić 2.0 Has Entered the Chat inspired me to recommit to what I too promised myself in mid-June, too.

While I don't have a personal chef and in spite of the fact training, lifting and getting fit isn't my full time job, I still felt that as a teacher with the summer off something similar might be possible. I was wrong. 

I did go to StretchLab and the gym in the same day....once. I think I had one day of high protein and gluten free bread, but I got interrupted by a show, too. No it wasn't "Love Island." Instead, I had a love affair with Apple TV's show, "Stick" and Owen Wilson instead.

Stage Three: The Cleaning Stage (July)
Fueled by a commitment to give to those in need, lessen my dependence on material goods and increase my appreciation for all I have—the cleaning stage came on fast and hard. I reused, I reduced and I recycled all in the name of simplifying my life and helping others. Why can't I do this 365 days of the year? July vacay is not a requirement for this spiritual discipline.

My nieces got to meet my good friend and classmate "Tio" Alex!

Stage Four: The Travel Stage (July)
One of the worst things a person can say is "I need a vacation from my vacation." Seriously? 
And yet when paired with Dannenbring's question "Can I afford to go to the Amalfi Coast on a teacher's salary?" I get it.

I took my niece Grace to San Diego as her high school graduation gift—a trip that became a true highlight of my summer. I cherished the time with her and her younger sister, Lucy. With no passports, five-star hotels, or hefty bar tabs, the getaway didn’t break the bank.

Two days after returning from SoCal, I joined my usual crew in Lake Tahoe for the American Century Championship. I’m not complaining—the travel stage is one of the perks of being a teacher. But when the casino tables in Tahoe start at $25 minimum, my teacher salary starts barking back. In a single roll of craps, I lost the entire stipend I’d earned proctoring the SAT on a Saturday.

Stage Five: The Random Hobby Stage (Mid-July)
While I didn't learn a new language or get into grilling (FWIW: I applaud both efforts), I did take up stand up paddle boarding (SUP). I made it my goal to get back on the water. Due to my heart condition, I cannot row crew. I am not excited about open water swimming and I don't know how to sail. I figured that SUP is something I could do solo or with others. It takes me out of the fog (the places I'm familiar with launching my SUP are in warmer weather locales (yay!).
I went onto Facebook Marketplace and bought an inflatable board.

Putting effort into pursuing something that has grown beyond a hobby into a new past time brought a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. I now have a water sport that is quite versatile—it is recreational but can contribute to my personal fitness. When I am on the paddle board, I am disconnected with tech and in touch with nature. I took deliberate steps to participate safely and wisely and intend to keep working at it. 

Stage Six: The Denial Stage (August)
No time is a good time for the Back to School missive, but I do understand: it must be sent.  I sure every administrator thinks "damned if I do. Damned if I don't." Whether or not they send the seasonal missive, I do what I can to live in denial....until I can't.

Stage Seven: The Panic Stage (Mid-August)
I think it should be noted that I am still in Stage Six: Denial, but I find that panic is settling in. I managed to purchase a new used car just two weeks ago and it took me until today to make sure my insurance covers the vehicle (thanks St. Chris for the safe passage!). I got a hair cut on Saturday and a temporary crown put on today. I hope to have a plan for world peace by the end of the week.

So special to get to Father Scott's parish in San Diego: Our Lady of Guadalupe

In Conclusion
Being a teacher is a wonderful way to make a living. It is a rewarding profession. We are always learning—far beyond the subjects we teach. We get to start anew with each passing year. Each stage of a teacher's career offers its own challenges and opportunities and as we are reminded so do the stages of summer.  

I'm so grateful for the time I was given and the memories made with family, friends, students and colleagues. Here's to another great year!

Photo Credits
Men's Health

Beating Back to School Dread, Sports and Spirituality Style

I want to thank everyone who has expressed their disbelief, disgust and dismay that early August now marks the start of "Back to School" season. Yes, I too long for the days when school didn’t begin until after Labor Day. And yet, those of us with administrative responsibilities are already back in the building, preparing for that first faculty day. Thankfully, there's no shortage of memes capturing exactly how every teacher is feeling right now.

I’m in charge of icebreakers.  Whether you dread the requisite "dynamica" or not, it’s rare for any community gathering to begin without at least one—or two, or more. Fortunately, there’s no shortage of resources online—and now even AI—to help school leaders, meeting coordinators, or party planners find the perfect low, middle and high risk activity. Yes, even icebreakers fall into categories..

I'm partial to icebreakers that are both clever and whimsical. I like those that teach me a little bit about another person and myself. A good icebreaker will get juices flowing and elicit smiles. Best case scenario leads to clapping, laughter—maybe a high five or two. They need not be competitive. I say save that for later in the day. In the meantime, here's one of my favorite icebreakers—Sports and Spirituality style. You can use it with faculty or with your students.

Icebreaker: My N.A.M.E. (shocking, I know)
Risk: low to medium
Objective: to get to know each other to think of interesting facts that correspond to the letters of their first name. Have each participant share their acronym with someone next to them. 

Consider the letters of your first name. Find a thematic word for each letter—one that can tell a story about who you are. Here's my example, using my name, Anne.
A: American Studies. 
N: Negative
N: Naughton
E: Eclectic

 A: American Studies
I loved my major. Housed within the College of Arts and Letters, I found my way to American Studies almost by accident. I hadn’t been familiar with the field, but today I take every opportunity to share it with current students. While Notre Dame doesn’t offer a journalism degree, many alumni writers and editors earned their B.A. in American Studies. The program explores American culture and life, requiring students to choose two of three disciplines—government, English, and history. I chose the latter two, along with a wide range of cross-listed courses that enriched my experience in the department.

A huge shout out to fellow Farleyite Megan Derbes McCarthy '96 for telling me about our major.

N: Negative
I don’t consider myself a pessimistic person, but I am fascinated by the moments in life when a negative becomes a positive. My mind immediately goes to golf.

In this game, the pros often post scores in the negative. It's one of the rare sports where being “in the red” is a good thing—where the lowest score wins.

Beyond the course, I find myself drawn to the idea of addition by subtraction. When has less truly been more? Sometimes, a team improves after losing a player whose attitude or demands were holding them back.

On a brighter note, a negative can ignite change. A tough loss or a bad experience can fuel a deeper desire to improve, to work harder, to grow. Without that early-season loss to Northern Illinois, would Notre Dame have had the remarkable run they did? Though the Irish ultimately fell short in the National Championship, that initial setback sparked a season that leaves us only with memories in the black.

look at all those negative numbers on the board!

N: Naughton
Naughton is my mother's maiden name. Her father, Michael John Naughton, like many who share his surname came from Co. Roscommon, in the west of Ireland.

When I traveled to the Emerald Isle in 2022, I purchases a keychain with the Naughton family crest for my mom. On the back was the translation of the name. It said, "A personal name meaning bright or pure." To read that definition took my breath away. As written in my blog post FIT—My One Word Theme of the Year: What's Yours? my theme word for 2022 —pure— is part of my family lineage. 

E: Eclectic
Look to the 10 stations programmed on my car stereo and you will find that my musical taste and listening preferences are quite eclectic. From country to hard rock, classical to musica Latina, public and sports talk radio, more country, pop and even a modern jazz station are on queue. I'm proud of that I hold a spectrum of musical interests as song has always been a wonderful way to connect with others. 

In conclusion

• I recommend giving a little bit of lead time for people to consider descriptions for each letter. It's not just the introverts who will appreciate the lead time.
• Those with longer names are free to use an abbreviated version e.g. Jenn for Jennifer or Gus for Augustine.
• Every person also has the right to pass on one letter in their name. Dealer's choice.

Ultimately, this icebreaker allows a person to tell a story, to think creatively, to share a little bit about themselves and find all of that and more in another person. Teachers might be thrilled to start fresh and begin anew. Others are doing what they can to get in the door. Somewhere in between lies the opportunity to listen to one another, offer insight, have fun and break the ice.
I believe it more and more—investing in our social capital pays the greatest dividends. 

Here's to a great year!

Photo Credits
Teaching is a work of the heart
Leader Board
Ice Breakers
Truth for Teachers

Building Bridges with a Tow Truck, Soccer and a Story

The concluding unit for Sports and Spirituality is "Building a Culture of Encounter: Sports and Catholic Social Teaching." Given the recent passing of Pope Francis, his words on this topic are ever more poignant and meaningful. Like Pope John Paul II, not only was Pape Franceso a sport aficionado, he too embraced sport as a key pillar of the Catholic Church's social vision. I didn't need my car towed 30 miles from Walnut Creek to appreciate his teaching, but let's just say more than the Bay Bridge was crossed on a Sunday in May.

Upon safe delivery and transport of my Jeep to my mechanic,
I asked Siar if we could take a photo together

While many Catholics take heart in knowing Pope Leo is a White Sox and Villanova fan, he is far from the first pope to share his allegiance. But according to our text, On the Eighth Day, "more than his predecessors, Pope John Paul II saw sport as one of the crucial signs of the times, a 'cultural mediator' uniquely 'capable of interpreting contemporary man's hopes and needs'. In addition, sports' global popularity gave it a special potential to help build a civilization of love..." More specifically, John Paul commended sport for transcending barriers of race, religion, politics and ethnicity. Pope Francis built on JPII's "civilization of love" with his own term: the "culture of encounter."

For the purpose of this blog, I have often quoted a definition given by Holy Cross priest, Father Joe Corpora, C.S.C. He has said “The culture of encounter... simply means this: 'You have something good to give to me, and I have something good to give to you." It's so simple and so true. If we could engage with another person believing we all have something to give and receive—a smile, a tip, a handshake or hug. Maybe we can hear a story or learn a lesson. How might the world be different? 

The truth is that encounter has becoming increasingly more difficult. Many times we only see our differences, our perceived identity or interests. In light of these challenges, Francis sought to clarify the purpose of encounter. He wrote regularly about this—he spoke to specifics and modeled what it meant as it applies to sport. As written in "On the Eighth Day," 

A culture of encounter thus becomes a culture of contact rather than isolation, a culture of dialogue rather than monologue, and a culture of respecting difference and listening, even the face of firmly held commitments. In Francis‘s words, "to speak of a culture of encounter means we as people should be passionate about meeting others seeking points of contact building bridges planning a project that includes everyone."

Francis holds that sport can play a critical role in fostering a culture encounter, as well as the church's overall evangelizing mission, crossing lines of race, sex, religion and ideology, the sporting fields can be a place of “unity and encounter among people."

The Culture of Encounter was evident throughout his twelve year papacy. In that time, the Holy Father met shared with the faithful his love for soccer, he gave an address before the 2016 Olympics in Rio de Janeiro, he took photos with the Harlem Globetrotters and asked to meet with NBA players in November 2020 as a response to the events around the death of George Floyd. It is safe to say that the Culture of Encounter has emerged as a hallmark of Francis' papacy. 

The question his teaching raises for me, for my students and for you is not Why should I care? but What does this mean in my life? What might the Culture of Encounter look like? feel like? And how can I engage? I hope this story might offer a few insights.

With 190,000+ miles on it, my 2015 Jeep Cherokee is running on borrowed time. My goal is to have it for 225,000 miles and I'm not even convinced that I can or will give it up at that time! 

Car problems never emerge as a convenient time. And, it would be naive of me to think that at this mileage they are unlikely. Therefore, when the radiator busted and sent the engine temperature to red, I knew I had to get help. The alternative meant losing the car then and there. 

I called Triple A and one hour later Siar came to tow my Jeep Cherokee from the East Bay, across the Bay Bridge and to my mechanic in San Francisco. He told me to hop in the seat beside him and the hour long journey began.

I wasn't worried about making conversation with Siar, but I wasn't sure how it would go. I have never been to Afghanistan, and regrettably, what I know about this ancient, landlocked country is likely no more than what most Americans know. My associations aren't exactly positive. Due to Sports and Spirituality however, I remembered something else. I carry with me a remarkable story about an American who lived and stayed in its capitol city, Kabul because of soccer.

With Siar, I did exactly what I profess in my blog post entitled, Faraway Goal: Using story and soccer to talk about Afghanistan. Instead of my students, I was able to talk to Siar about Nick Pugliese, an American who found an opportunity to continue his soccer career after college in an unlikely place: Afghanistan’s pro soccer league with Ferozi FC. 

I told him this story, more than many others inspires and sparks my student's interest. The words of Dan Arruda, the ESPN producer who spent ten days in Afghanistan with Pugliese resonate with me. He said, “I was just fascinated by the idea of an American all by himself living in this country and of all the things, he was playing professional soccer. It just seemed very surprising to me and I wondered what his life was like.”

Siar told me all about Kabul. I'm not sure that Siar was a fan of Nick's team. He was however aware that Ghazi stadium, Ferozi FC's home, was once used by the Taliban for public executions. Fortunately, in Pugliese's tenure, it became a locale for  Afghani "association football matches." I didn't ask him what it's like today.

Soccer was the starter, the bridge and key to encounter. I came to find out more about Siar's family, especially his two year old daughter. I asked him what family members will still in Afghanistan and if he wants to visit anytime soon. 

He shared with great pride that he is now an American citizen. I should have asked him what he thinks of the MLS.

Again, encounter has becoming increasingly more difficult. Anyone could just be on their phone or engage with social media instead of talk. However, thanks to this philosophy and to soccer, what was a slightly stressful situation was made better. 

Practically speaking, Siar gave me a ride and towed my car. I gave him business and I gave him a story. But given this philosophy, I realize, I gained a deepened appreciation for one man's commitment to supporting his family and making a go at the American dream. 

Indeed, my memories are what Pope Francis professed, "A culture of encounter thus becomes a culture of contact rather than isolation, a culture of dialogue rather than monologue, and a culture of respecting difference and listening." We have so much to give and to receive from one another....even with a broken radiator!

Photo Credits
Kabul
Nick and friends
Pope selfie