Hats and Hoodies vs. Ritual and Respect

It is no secret that I am an ardent fan, a loyal listener and subscriber to Sacred Stories. In fact, my last post was about this very topic and how each video from the Notre Dame Alumni Association has shaped my Advent Journey in preparation for Christmas. But, I've lived long enough to know, nothing is above reproach—especially this blog and its author—and that includes a recent video reflection featuring Notre Dame senior, Chris Kavanaugh.

I have yet to find a testimony that doesn't inspire and invite me to prayer. But I admit when I see an athlete or coach approach the screen, I am that much more excited to hear their tale, consider their questions and reflect upon their connections. I am biased, but I was also disappointed and so distracted by the baseball hat Kavanaugh wore as he spoke, I missed his message.

You may find my complaint to be petty or unimportant. I don't. Hats, hoodies, caps and sunglasses need to be removed when speaking to an audience. Objectively speaking there is no reason that a man or a woman needs to wear a hat indoors. Out of doors is another question—sun, rain or wind?—a hat offers protection. But, when Kyle Shanahan, the head coach of the San Francisco 49ers wears his flat bill during a press conference, I shake my head.

Same Press Conference: GM John Lynch—no hat, Coach Shanahan—flat bill. 

Removing a hat is a sign of respect. It is a custom or norm that has been observed, primarily by men. Emily Post weighs in what I find to be valuable historical context and helpful direction:

Knowing when to remove a hat is as important as wearing the right hat for the occasion. If you were a medieval knight who failed to remove his helmet or lift his visor and identify himself the consequences could be fatal. Throughout history hats identified social standing and removing a hat was a gesture of respect. 

In the "old days," men took off their hats in Christian churches, when they entered someone's home, when greeting a boss, and always in the presence of a lady. While some of these customs are now historical footnotes, even in today's casual culture, men and women still remove their hats as a sign of respect. Cancer patients are exempt from hat rules. They may keep their hats or caps on at all times if they wish. 

Today, times are different. Still Post notes: Take hats off, including baseball caps …

• In someone's home
• At mealtimes, at the table
• While being introduced, indoors or out (unless it's frigid!)
• In a house of worship, unless a hat or head covering is required
• Indoors at work, especially in an office (unless required for the job)
• In public buildings such as a school, library, courthouse, or town hall
• In restaurants and coffee shops
• At a movie or any indoor performance
• When the national anthem is played
• When the flag of the United States passes by, as in a parade

Today, it's as if no rules apply. People wear hats anywhere and everywhere. For example, I recently attended a Christmas party where a friend wore his Yankees hat inside the home. I was slightly surprised he did this, while relieved that he took it off for Mass (which was held in the home as well). Yes, customs and norms can and do change over time, but many are worth keeping and/or learning more about. In addition to showing respect, taking a hat off allows one person to see another face to face. Wearing a baseball hat or hoodie, it's not hard to hide behind the lid. While it's not as overt an obstacle as sunglasses, this accessory does change a dynamic, even if slightly.

Baseball hats are not the only offender. On a regular basis, I have to remind students to put their hoodies down. In the latest episodes of Hard Knocks: NFC North, the number of athletes who speak to the camera with their hoodie still on their head is alarming. I truly do not know what that is about.

It is impossible to listen and view Kavanaugh's testimony and NOT know he is a member of the Fighting Irish Championship lacrosse team. I don't need to see his hat or read his sweatshirt to figure that out. It's a point of pride its inextricably linked to his Sacred Story. But I was sidetracked from his story by my question of Why. Why wear the hat? Why is it necessary? Will we see people wearing hats backwards or hoodies in the future? And Why didn't the director, producer, editor ask him to remove it? 

I  love the ritual of taking hats off to shake hands upon the completion of a round of golf. I like the effort it takes, the message it sends, the respect it offers—at no cost. To me, it speaks volume. It says "I see you. I thank you and you're welcome."

Respect, honor, intentionality, and authenticity always come at some cost.  Attention and effort play their part in building those virtues. One small way is to tap your cap and/or take it off. Another is to share your story. Many of those are sacred. Let's remove our hats, hoodies and glasses to share them...and as we listen.

Photo Credits
Lynch and Shanahan
Post Hats
Sacred Stories