Ricky Pearsall and Marcus Freeman Choose Hard

Sports fans know that Notre Dame football players hit a sign that says "Play Like a Champion Today" before entering the stadium. But Coach Freeman wants his team to see another sign. It's message if simple and it's clear: Choose Hard. It's a motto that does not pertain only to sports or to school at Notre Dame. It speaks to spirituality, too. 

I want a sign when you walk into this building that says "choose hard" cause when you walk in Notre Dame football, you got to have that mindset. We're going to choose hard today in practice. Choose hard today in meetings.  Choose hard today in a weight room. But we expanded that to what Notre Dame's about. Why? You're going to be challenged in the classroom. As a football player you're going to be in class with some of the most intelligent people in this world and it's difficult. Ultimately you're telling them you want this. Long term you want this. And so you got to choose it. Choose hard.

Given the success of the 2024 season, it's safe to say this team did choose it. After losing to NIU in what was its first loss as a top-five team against an unranked opponent since 2002—choosing hard wasn't just an option, it was necessary. The result? The Irish won the next eleven games and are looking to complete their mission—a hard one: to win the national championship. Let's hope that choosing hard wins.

In the spiritual life, it does too. How? What might that mean?

Look no further than Niners wide receiver, Ricky Pearsall. In an article entitled "Forgiveness wins," I came to learn that Pearsall, chose hard as he reflected upon the armed robbery attempt that nearly cost him his life. Kendall Baker of Yahoo! Sports reported:

Forty Niners rookie Ricky Pearsall was shot in the chest in San Francisco on August 31. The first round draft pick missed  six games from resulting injuries. On Monday, January 6 he was asked to reflect on the attempted robbery that upended his first yera in the league and nearly cost him his life.

His response: I don't know where [the kid who shot him] came from, what environment he grew up in, how he grew up. So I can't judge him as a man just based off one action that he made, as violent as it was.

God forbid him doing that to somebody else. I don't ever want that to happen. But for me … I have to be able to forgive him … At some point, I do want to talk to the kid [and] if I can create an impact on him in any way, I think that would be really big. I'd definitely be open to doing that.

If you struggle with forgiveness, you're not alone. Forgiveness is hard. Personally, I think it takes a lot of courage to forgive someone who has wronged you, hurt you and harmed you. It's very natural to hold on to anger. It's not unnatural to want to retaliate. But Jesus preaches otherwise. His message is loud and it's clear: love your enemies and forgive others.  

Pearsall is a devout Christian. I don't know him but wonder if his faith and its core values is what led to this beautiful response. I appreciate that he has empathy for this young man—he doesn't know his background or personal circumstances. I admire his humility—he doesn't want this to happen to another person. I value his wisdom—he admits forgiveness is something he must do.

Pearsall doesn't owe him anything. His desire to speak to him and his openness to that encounter is inspiring and it's hard. I think that would take courage, too.

“Everything in life requires courage. Whether it is playing football or coaching football; crossing the room to ask a woman on a date or rekindling a love that has grown cold; whether it’s your first day at school or your first day back at school after twenty years; starting a new business, battling a potentially fatal disease, getting married, struggling to overcome an addiction, or sitting humbly with your God in prayer—life requires courage. It’s a prerequisite. Courage brings us to life and makes everything else possible.  I think he could add forgiving another person and being forgiven does too.

Kelly concludes "So, what are we waiting for? You only get one shot at life. What would you do if you weren’t so afraid? Whatever it is, take one small step toward it today, then take another step toward your hopes and dreams tomorrow. Life favors the courageous. So, summon a little courage. You will be amazed what life will give you in return for a little bit of courage. "

Maybe that means you decide to "choose hard" at work or in a relationship. Perhaps it means you "choose hard" and forgive a person. It might be one of the toughest things for a person to to do...but it's a choice. Forgiveness does not mean that the wrong is right, or that a person ought not face justice and proper consequence. It does however mean that we can do something so much bigger than ourselves and choose hard, and choose to forgive. 

Photo Credits
Ricky P

Notre Dame Corner Back Christian Gray's Vision Board: Mission and Blessing

Although I have taken down my tree, wrapped up all the lights and come to terms with the fact that the Christmas season is over, the sights and sounds of a Happy New Year remain. The crowded gym is ample evidence that many resolve to exercise more and make this their healthiest year yet. Even seven days later, folks still greet one another with "Happy New Year." I have heard talk of one words themes and 25 goals for 2025. Thanks to Notre Dame cornerback, Christian Gray, I have one more task to offer in the zeitgeist of new year invitations and opportunities. Create a vision board—sports and spirituality style.

In Season 1, Episode 6: Win and You're In, Gray—a resident of Knott Hall welcomes the camera into his dorm room. After meeting his dragon lizard named Bahati—an African word for blessed—Gray states "I keep everything in my life blessed, and filled with God." That truth is evidenced in the vision board that hangs on the wall. He adds, "my mom and I make a vision board every year. This is all the vision that God has given me. I put it as my mission to live out this entire vision." 

That vision includes reminders and realizations, words, tasks, directives and more. The 2024 vision board includes the following:

• Smile
• Be nicer to yourself
• Create
• Serious Strength
• The Power of Restraint
• I turned my passion into a career
• Gold
• #1 in the Country
• A Calm aof Discipline
• A New Chapter
• Found
• Clean
• Brave Warrior 
• Encouraging
• Top 10
• Be ready
• 1 Corinthians 9

I wonder what vision God has given Christian for 2025. I wonder who supports him in this mission to live out that vision. I want to know in what ways does Notre Dame football—teammates, coaches and staff challenge, encourage, assist and augment that vision...that mission.

Christian Gray is a valuable contributor to a team that has clear goals and remains united in their mission: to win a national championship. He caught the first of two pick-sixes in the Irish win over USC. He has earned the nickname "The Franchise." He concludes his profile piece in Here Come the Irish with the words, "I'm up here. I'm starting now. I'm playing. It's just really a blessing." The audience sees him kneeling in prayer. I can't help but think of the blessing that his testimony has offered. I think we should all consider what vision God has for us in this new year. Let it be your resolution, your one word theme, your mission. Amen.

We Hold Both: An Irish Reflection on Events of the 2025 Sugar Bowl

Every era presents new challenges, new opportunities and new words! For example, we emerged from COVID with hard truths, lessons learned and a vocabulary that still lingers. Buzz words like amplify, pivot, leverage and optimize became daily directives a la Zoom. We learned what it means to "hold space" for people and we did. We still do. And early events of 2025 asked me to do something similar yet different: hold both.

In the early hours of New Year's Day 2025, Shamsud-Din Jabbar drove a truck at a high speed into a crowd on Bourbon Street in New Orleans LA. Fifteen people died in the process, including Jabbar, who was 42 years old. The loss of life, the injury, damage is utterly tragic. Deemed an "act of terrorism," this put local, state and federal authorities on alert and in action. Necessary decisions were made to keep the public safe and "out of harms way." That term is not COVID jargon. It prompted a prudent, solvent course of action: to postpone the Sugar Bowl. The College Football quarterfinal playoff game was scheduled for the following day

Twenty hours later, following an extended moment of silence in the pregame ceremonies, the contest between the University of Georgia and the University of Notre Dame began. The Fightin' Irish, with a season record of 11-1 and ranked #7 prevailed over the #2 team— winning the game 23-10. As my friend and classmate Alex Montoya '96 wrote, "It has been a year of exorcising ghosts, from the specter of the NIU loss to winning our first major bowl game since 1994. There is one more left, of course: winning the national championship in football for the first time since 1988." Victory tasted bittersweet. Here's why...

I can't speak for the people who were at the game, but among my family of fellow ND fans and friends, we all were aware that within a 48 hour period, there were conflicting emotions: shock, awe, and sadness followed by joy, elation and jubilee. And, we know the truth and reality that one event takes precedence over the other.  No athletic contest can account for the loss of lives and the damage has been done. Nor should it. Ever. And yet....we hold both.

We hold both. We can and we do. We have and we will. Now. Today. Tomorrow. Forever.

I would like to be so bold as to proclaim that as Catholics, to hold both is part of our tradition. I say this because it is evidenced through Catholic ritual and tradition. It characterizes the sentiments and even the structure of them. For example, when a loved one dies we gather as a community of faith for the Rite of Christian Burial. This includes a Requiem Mass as well as the Rite of Committal. A dear friend, recently shared "The Work of Christmas: Choir Edition," a reflection on this tradition whether its for 100 people or one other person. Difficult, yet important and... beautiful. 

Today, many people opt for just the celebration of life, but the exercise of walking down the aisle and publicly grieving is an important process. It is a path we all must take, a walk that is unique to no one. We can't make it alone. To ritualize it makes it possible.

You need not be Irish to know that what follows a funeral isn't just the burial. Loved ones, family and friends gather for food and fellowship. For Catholics, much more than a "fifth" of whiskey or a box of Franzia is in store. We share stories and post pictures. We celebrate. We remember. We hold both. 

Though many young Catholics are opting to marry outside of the Church, I find there is a wisdom to the ritual and rite of Holy Matrimony. The ceremony in the Church speaks to the solemn, sacred and sacramental nature of this decision and commitment. It is not without cost. It is a significant day in the life of two people, their family and friends. The formality of the church service—the profession of nuptial vows are to be heard and supported by many more than just two people. We can and should pray for one another—for the two who have become one and their future. Following this service, the bride and groom, the wedding party and all those in attendance partake in a ritualized celebration. Some cultures, other traditions make the most of the reception—as they should! We hold both.

Before the game, the chaplain of the Notre Dame football team, Father Nate Wills, C.S.C. gives to a player a medal of a Catholic saint. He offers a reflection on the significance of this holy person's life and what their example might offer for each athlete on game day. The day after the Irish victory, Father Nate shared with Irish faithful a little bit about the game day saint and that we can continue to pray to St. Sebastian for all athletes and the people of New Orleans. 

Holding today’s medal is a player who had an incredible play at ND’s 23-10 Quarterfinal CFP victory over Georgia. Jayden Harrison is a graduate transfer from Marshall and ran back the 2nd half kickoff for a 98 yard touchdown!

An elite soldier, courageous martyr, and faithful Christian, St. Sebastian is among the most beloved saints in the history of the Church. Born in the late 3rd century, he was a soldier in the Roman army who became a Christian. 

Sebastian secretly aided fellow Christians, providing them with support and encouragement during Emperor Diocletian’s brutal persecution of Christians. He was eventually discovered, arrested, and executed with a barrage of arrows. Miraculously, he survived and was nursed back to health by a fellow Christian, St. Irene.

After he recovered, Sebastian neither cowered in fear nor abandoned his faith. Instead, he boldly confronted Emperor Diocletian, urging him to stop persecuting Christians. This act of courage ultimately led to his second arrest and execution, where he was beaten to death with clubs around the year 286 AD.

St. Sebastian’s legacy is one of resilience and unwavering faith in the face of adversity. He is depicted on this holy medal as a young man tied to a tree and pierced by arrows. He is the patron saint of athletes and soldiers. 

May St. Sebastian’s resiliency and faith inspire the people of New Orleans who are still enduring the aftermath of the Bourbon Street attack on New Year’s. May the Lord bring the victims into his loving arms, comfort their family and friends, protect our police officers and soldiers, and bring peace to our hurting world. 

We hold both: sports and spirituality. Through sports and spirituality, we learn that an athlete held a medal who honors the patron saint of athletes—knowing that one hand is heavy and the other is not. One is solemn. One is celebratory. This same medal is used to remind us to pray for the protection of the people of New Orleans as well as the players on the field. Don't pivot. No need to leverage one hand at the expense of the other. We have created space. We hold both.

Photo Credits
Medals
Tears
Kneeling
Signage

Hats and Hoodies vs. Ritual and Respect

It is no secret that I am an ardent fan, a loyal listener and subscriber to Sacred Stories. In fact, my last post was about this very topic and how each video from the Notre Dame Alumni Association has shaped my Advent Journey in preparation for Christmas. But, I've lived long enough to know, nothing is above reproach—especially this blog and its author—and that includes a recent video reflection featuring Notre Dame senior, Chris Kavanaugh.

I have yet to find a testimony that doesn't inspire and invite me to prayer. But I admit when I see an athlete or coach approach the screen, I am that much more excited to hear their tale, consider their questions and reflect upon their connections. I am biased, but I was also disappointed and so distracted by the baseball hat Kavanaugh wore as he spoke, I missed his message.

You may find my complaint to be petty or unimportant. I don't. Hats, hoodies, caps and sunglasses need to be removed when speaking to an audience. Objectively speaking there is no reason that a man or a woman needs to wear a hat indoors. Out of doors is another question—sun, rain or wind?—a hat offers protection. But, when Kyle Shanahan, the head coach of the San Francisco 49ers wears his flat bill during a press conference, I shake my head.

Same Press Conference: GM John Lynch—no hat, Coach Shanahan—flat bill. 

Removing a hat is a sign of respect. It is a custom or norm that has been observed, primarily by men. Emily Post weighs in what I find to be valuable historical context and helpful direction:

Knowing when to remove a hat is as important as wearing the right hat for the occasion. If you were a medieval knight who failed to remove his helmet or lift his visor and identify himself the consequences could be fatal. Throughout history hats identified social standing and removing a hat was a gesture of respect. 

In the "old days," men took off their hats in Christian churches, when they entered someone's home, when greeting a boss, and always in the presence of a lady. While some of these customs are now historical footnotes, even in today's casual culture, men and women still remove their hats as a sign of respect. Cancer patients are exempt from hat rules. They may keep their hats or caps on at all times if they wish. 

Today, times are different. Still Post notes: Take hats off, including baseball caps …

• In someone's home
• At mealtimes, at the table
• While being introduced, indoors or out (unless it's frigid!)
• In a house of worship, unless a hat or head covering is required
• Indoors at work, especially in an office (unless required for the job)
• In public buildings such as a school, library, courthouse, or town hall
• In restaurants and coffee shops
• At a movie or any indoor performance
• When the national anthem is played
• When the flag of the United States passes by, as in a parade

Today, it's as if no rules apply. People wear hats anywhere and everywhere. For example, I recently attended a Christmas party where a friend wore his Yankees hat inside the home. I was slightly surprised he did this, while relieved that he took it off for Mass (which was held in the home as well). Yes, customs and norms can and do change over time, but many are worth keeping and/or learning more about. In addition to showing respect, taking a hat off allows one person to see another face to face. Wearing a baseball hat or hoodie, it's not hard to hide behind the lid. While it's not as overt an obstacle as sunglasses, this accessory does change a dynamic, even if slightly.

Baseball hats are not the only offender. On a regular basis, I have to remind students to put their hoodies down. In the latest episodes of Hard Knocks: NFC North, the number of athletes who speak to the camera with their hoodie still on their head is alarming. I truly do not know what that is about.

It is impossible to listen and view Kavanaugh's testimony and NOT know he is a member of the Fighting Irish Championship lacrosse team. I don't need to see his hat or read his sweatshirt to figure that out. It's a point of pride its inextricably linked to his Sacred Story. But I was sidetracked from his story by my question of Why. Why wear the hat? Why is it necessary? Will we see people wearing hats backwards or hoodies in the future? And Why didn't the director, producer, editor ask him to remove it? 

I  love the ritual of taking hats off to shake hands upon the completion of a round of golf. I like the effort it takes, the message it sends, the respect it offers—at no cost. To me, it speaks volume. It says "I see you. I thank you and you're welcome."

Respect, honor, intentionality, and authenticity always come at some cost.  Attention and effort play their part in building those virtues. One small way is to tap your cap and/or take it off. Another is to share your story. Many of those are sacred. Let's remove our hats, hoodies and glasses to share them...and as we listen.

Photo Credits
Lynch and Shanahan
Post Hats
Sacred Stories

You're With Us: A Message from the Notre Dame Football Chaplain for our Advent Journey

It's Advent—a time of penance and preparation. How are you getting your heart and home ready for Christmas? Like countless Notre Dame alumni, I make a point to watch and pray with Sacred Stories, created by the alumni association. I look forward to the daily drop on YouTube and other social media platforms—excited to see who will share their story. A few have been classmates and friends! Others are athletes, coaches, administrators and alumni. 

While each story is sacred, some are extra special. Many speak specifically to a Notre Dame audience, but most offer a message that is meant for all, regardless of your familiarity or connection to the university. Among my favorites for the Advent 2024 journey is the testimony from Day 2 by Father Nate Wills, C.S.C. I found his message particularly poignant for the first week of Advent, when we light the purple candle signifying hope.

Father Nate is the football chaplain for the Fighting Irish. This is well known as he is an active, noticeable and positive presence on the sidelines. In his Sacred Story, he takes us back to a memory from his rookie days in the role. 

Three words made all the difference. In true Holy Cross/Notre Dame fashion, I thought he would say "Come Holy Spirit." This is the prayer that the beloved past President, Father Ted Hesburgh C.S.C. urged others to pray. (NB: How I wish Father Ted had recorded a Sacred Story of his own; I don't even want to know if A.I. can help). Instead, his three words are "You're with us." I encourage you to watch here and now (or watch again).

What were we all to hear "You're with us?" How might we be different? How might our society change? I think of the school where I work. If every teenager heard this message and believed it, How would this community feel? 

"You're with us" reminds us of what Father Greg Boyle, SJ teaches: There is no 'them' and 'us.' There is only us. Unfortunately, we lose sight of this truth, and yet I believe Father Nate's testimonial is a message of hope. His recollection reminds me that there are those people who think to extend that spirit of welcome. I know those who have the courage to say those words—and I thank God for them. They give me hope. And we have a God who does the same. God offered hope in Christ Jesus In Matthew's Gospel, we read:

All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: “Behold, the virgin shall be with child and bear a son, and they shall name him Emmanuel,” which means “God is with us.” 

Father Nate puts this teaching into context with this holy time of year. He says,  

We’re one with him and we anticipate the coming of Christ, Emmanuel, God with us, anew this Advent season. Even though it can sometimes feel otherwise, we always belong to the Christian family into which we have been adopted.

We never walk alone. We’re with him, and he’s with us.

I love the image of the player walk in this video. It helps us to visualize the time and space when and where Father Nate felt alone. It also reminds us of what we will celebrate on Christmas Day: God with us. Not just me, not only you. Us. 

Our Prayer
For the times we feel uncertain, and in the moments we feel like an outsider.
When we split into groups or don’t know where to go. In places where we will doubt or panic—where uncertainty seems to reign, Let us remember to welcome the stranger, to include the lost, to harbor the lonely to smile to others. Give us the courage to say “You’re with us.”And the ability to join.


In this Advent season, we celebrate Jesus being born into the world because God loved us so much that he even wanted to share in our humanity, to be with us. Let us remember we are part of a Christian family that gives that same promise by our loving God: “You’re with us.”

We’re one with him and we anticipate the coming of Christ, Emmanuel, God with us, anew this Advent season. Even though it can sometimes feel otherwise, we always belong to the Christian family into which we have been adopted.

Past Posts from ND Alumni Association for Lent
2023 with Audric Estimé
Sacred Places at ND: Josh Lugg
Sacred Plaaces at ND: Sam Grewe

Photo Credits
Father Nate Prayer
Player Walk
Intro is from the Reflection