I Blame Me: Reflections on My Sports Ethic

I’m disappointed in myself. The only person I can blame is me. That sports ethic I’ve always held as a point of pride, the one I’ve written about and shared with my students as my way of proceeding, I compromised. I told myself I’d make an exception, that this time I’d go with what seemed like the better bet. I was wrong. I did not survive. I will not advance. I have been ousted from the Winner's Pool that I joined in August because I bet against my own team: the San Francisco 49ers. Here are a few lessons I learned.

Why?
The local sports talk radio spewed vitriol against our own team as they had their first loss to the Jacksonville Jaguars 26-21. If the SF Giants hadn't fired Bob Melvin—the team manager, unpacking the loss and menacing plight of this team would have had more air time. 

Yes, the Niners have the weakest schedule in the league but the "faith" in Forty-Niner Faithful was A.W.O.L. In thinking about this game, one friend asked me if Shanahan should bench Christian McCaffrey—the Niners' star running back. Like so many others, he came to a foregone conclusion that the Rams would prevail. he said "why put C-Mac's health at risk?" While I understood the sentiment. we agreed that it was too early in the season to take such rash gestures.

C-Mac had one things to say after last night's win: "Gritty."

When it came time to make my pick, I chose the Rams without delay. In short, I listened to the haters. Were they the wrong voices? Yes and no.

No—because a "smart bet" looks at the money line and determines how one team matches up against another. The Niners continue to be plagued by injury. One has to wonder if they should put who remains active in bubble wrap. I could go on and on and on about why this was the "smart bet" and the easy one. I won't. 

Yes—because negativity speaks loud and clear. I heard those voices and added to the conversation. That's really not my style. In sports, it's not hard to see what goes wrong, when and where. Furthermore, it can be a real challenge to be objective about your own team. You know them the best and yes, your vision is clouded. This is just one reason why my ethic forbids me for betting for or against my own team. But, this is also the entire point of having an ethic in the first place.

Didn't know this existed...

Is a Win a Loss? Is a Loss a Win?
IF the Rams had won, would I reflect on my sports ethic? Would I write about it?  This question reminds me of a comment from WNBA Commissioner Cathy Engelbert. 

Napheesa Collier, a star player for the Minnesota Lynx, said "At Unrivaled this past February, I sat across from Cathy and asked how she planned to address the officiating issues in our league. Her response was, 'Well, only the losers complain about the refs' (CBS Sports)."

I have read enough to know that Engelbert's comment was not taken out of context. I find it dismissive and an unfair. I also find some truth in it. When a person or a team loses, it's only natural to closely examine what went wrong. Many times, the officials are an easy target; fact is referees have an do impact the outcome of games. 

Failure invites us to determine What we could have done differently? and How can we get better? This is one of the spiritual gifts of failure. Losing a game invites us to ask what might have been done better. In this way, failure carries with it a kind of spiritual gift. Of course, athletes and teams also reflect on what went right in order to succeed. Still, the old saying, “hindsight is 20/20,” rings true for a reason.

Had the Rams won and my survivor status remained in tact, I think I would revisit and reflect upon my ethic. How? Why? I live with myself. I know how I felt DURING the game hoping that the Rams might pull ahead. I didn't pray, but I felt like praying for a tie when both teams reached overtime.

So What? 
This experience only reminded me of why we have an ethic in the first place. A personal ethic offers a person a place to stand and a way to proceed. It is formed over time and from lived experiences. It reflects values and can help a person live a good life. To follow one's ethic is to live with purpose and principle.

In this instance, I am reminded that a personal ethic isn't always easy to follow. We make decisions that we think are right. We aim to get an edge, an advantage or one up. This is natural, even understandable—especially for competitive people!

A personal ethic and abiding by it suggest that regardless of the outcome, winning and victory is not always external—there is much to be said for what comes from within. And hey, as my friend Haley said, "Glad it was the Niners who knocked me out of Survivor's Pool." Great perspective.

FWIW: This what I have written and shared with my students in regard to my personal sports ethic.

1. I don’t wear shirts, gear or swag of other teams. From time to time I wish I could.
1. Love Josh Allen; would love a #17 Red and Blue Bills Tee.
2. I don’t bet FOR or AGAINST my team. 
1. Most people are willing to be FOR their team. Nope. The love is pure.
3. I will not bet on my team’s rival to WIN.
1. Bet on Dodgers to win the World Series in 2024. This meant I had to cheer for them. It felt dirty.

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