Reverse Rubbernecking

Waze informed me it would be 12 minutes before I would get to and through the traffic jam. I noticed that the accident wasn't even on my side of the road. No lanes were closed and yet traffic ensued. How? Why?! Rubbernecking. According to Progressive auto-insurance,

Rubbernecking occurs when drivers take their eyes off the road to look at a distraction, such as an accident or arrest. The term originated in the late 1800s to describe the act of turning and stretching the neck to eavesdrop. Today, it's synonymous with the same motion but is now commonly associated with the action that takes place while driving—namely slowing down to see an event that happened to someone else. Rubbernecking is a form of distracted driving that can be as dangerous as texting or talking on the phone while driving. 

To me, rubbernecking isn't that much different than gossip. We are curious creatures. Who doesn't want the low down? We want to know, but, like gossip, we seldom feel better after engaging, or in this case, taking the long look. Still, this blog is not meant to be a rant on rubbernecking or to preach against the tyranny of talk. Instead, I would like to offer all sports fans a practice worth pursuing. In June 2019, I wrote "Practice Reverse Gossip." Now I would like to offer a similar post. You guessed it: reverse rubbernecking.

This morning at the gym, highlights of the Golden State Warriors win over the Boston Celtics decorated and dominated local and national sports news. From Warriors' Coach Steve Kerr getting booed (for not givingCeltics star, Jason Tatum much playing time in the Olympics) to the recent success of the Splash Buddies, (the Splash Brothers are no more) there was enough electric content to make this reel worth running every half hour.

I noticed that every time the game summary appeared on the TV, I couldn't look away. In no way was I gawking. I found myself watching again, and again and again. Hadn't I just seen these shots? I marveled at one player among the others: Stephen Curry. Steph not only led the Warriors with 27 points, 9 assists, and 7 rebounds he made it look effortless. And that is how it felt to take it all in....

I took my eyes off of my weights and kept them on the screen. I remained curious; I wanted to see more. As I did, I realized my brain slowed down. It felt as though it opened up in watching but one thing or in this case one athlete (see Flow channel). My friend Jimmy, a die hard Celtics fan admitted "much respect for Steph. One of my all time favorites to watch." I wasn't the only one to feel this way. 

What's the lesson to learn? Watch! Enjoy the long look. Give your brain a positive pause. Let it soak something in. Rather than taking your eyes off the road and turning your head, reverse the rubberneck. Keep your focus on what's seeking your attention.

Obviously this analogy can only go so far. It falls short because the fact of the matter is if you are driving a car, you're not free to just pull over and gaze. You have some place to be. And yet, I think there's a need to name this playful  idea.

Reverse rubbernecking— came about as I stood near the start line of the WCAL III cross country race. Though I have not coached XC since 2015, I make a point of attending what is final league meet of the season every year. It takes place at a true cross country course—Crystal Springs. The 3.1 mile trek is situated in a space replete with rolling hills, very few trees and a designated path. One my think it's open space, but its primary function is for the sport of cross country, and in particular to showcase a race like this one. Once I got there, I knew I was in a place where I would see something special. 

At WCAL I in early October, I caught sight of a fantastic runner—one who makes a case for reverse rubbernecking. I didn't know anything about this senior, but I heard a buzz from the crowd when the varsity boys race convened. In a few minutes time, I realized why. The winner Miles Cook from Sacred Heart Cathedral Prep took the lead very early on and at no point in time was it close to compromised. As he emerged through the tunnel and onto the Polo Fields, the crowd started cheering as he completed this final 400 m to the finish line. He came through running fast and looking strong. Exhaustion? pain? agony? not on his face. He too made it look effortless. To watch him run was a thing of beauty. It's something for every sports fan to savor. Though that is not the reason I went to WCAL III, once I was there, I was excited for what I was in for. Cook did not disappoint.

Take these images to heart. When you see sport at its best: watch! Don't look away. Give your brain a break and let it behold what is unfolding before your eyes.

I wonder if I commit to reverse rubbernecking—will I find more to enjoy? Will I encounter more sport to savor? I'm happy to focus in on Steph this season as a social experiment. Stay tuned.

Photo Credits
Rubbernecking
Coach Kerr
Miles Cook
Highlights: Photo and reel is here

The High-Low Ritual: My Top 5

A great friend & colleague to share "high/low" with!

I have always believed that Commencement is a time to look back, before moving into the future. Even though I am not graduating, every year I make a point of reflecting upon the graces of the year. This exercise became a ritual with a former colleague over a pint after Baccalaureate Mass. He had us share our highs and lows for the year. In recognizing the joys and the challenges with a friend, I was able to see each year affords unique gifts. Even some burdens became blessings. Not all....but many did. This year was no exception. And I would like this posting to be a Top 5 list of the 2014-2015 school year's highs. 

We start with the lows—graduation is also a time for celebration, so we aim to get the hard stuff out of the way. The details of these will be sparse, as this might not be the appropriate venue for such sharing and each would require more and necessary context. They are in no particular order. 

They are: the death of a cross-country parent, at one point in the year seriously questioning if I was still able to reach students anymore, accepting that my ability to run has become compromised to the point that I should not run with the cross country team, and disillusionment with some folks I trust.

The lows are tough. Tragedy still hurts. But many of these challenges have served as a pathway to a new opportunity or understanding. For the grace in that, I am grateful. And the fact that my Top 5 moments of the year are all rooted in Sports and Spirituality affirms the grace in this discipline. Here goes!

5. The Great Pink Out.
Sometimes in life, things just come together in a way that screams: serendipity. On October 1, 2014, the Giants played the Pittsburgh Pirates in the single-game for the National League Wildcard spot. The Pirates had the winningest record at home in NL. This do-or-die game took place on the eve of WCAL I: a practice day that the SI girls cross country team designates as our spirit day.

Per tradition, the captains chose a theme. Orange and Black for our Giants was an easy choice, but October is also breast cancer awareness month. The girls called for a great "Pink Out" to be highlighted by Giants hats or gear. However, I just read of a great cause that combines awareness, education and charitable efforts for single mothers with breast cancer. I read about it in the San Francisco GIANTS magazine. The rest of the story is here.

4. My Golf Boys
Coming this Fall, I will have 10 "golf girls." I am really looking forward to serving as the head coach of the St. Ignatius girls junior varsity golf team. I have finally accepted that the way I run—which is now a very slow jog—and the pace our girls cross country team runs are not compatible. Ten years wit SI XC; It was a great run (pun intended!)

3 of the 6

This spring, the JV boys golf coach encouraged me to accompany him to practice. I played a few rounds with the guys, talked trash on the driving range and handed out a lot of encouragement (they did too!). In May, I had the opportunity to join the varsity boys coach for the California Central Coast Sectional Championship. I drove the van, we shared a practice round, broke bread together and I followed their final match of the year. We had a total blast; a former golf coach referred to a high school boys golf team as a bunch of "squids." Nothing could be further from the truth...and they became MY golf boys. You can read about them here.

3. Klay Thompson's 37 Points
I would like to thank this Splash Brother for his perfect timing. The shooting guard out of Washington State dropped 37 points in the third quarter in a game against the Sacramento Kings. In doing so, Mr. Thompson secured an NBA record: the most points by a player in a single quarter and he electrified my course, Sports and Spirituality. 

In this Religious Studies elective, I teach about a "flow," a concept coined by a psychologist and author Mihály Csíkszentmihályi. As written in an outstanding article "Experiencing Life's Flow" by Patrick Kelly, 

Csíkszentmihályi criticized the discipline of psychology for attending too exclusively to the negative or dysfunctional aspects of human experience. His goal was to understand the phenomenology of human development and well-being in general. In the course of his research, he discovered a “common experiential state” that people described during their participation in sports and other activities. He refers to this as “flow” because the respondents themselves often used the word when asked about their experience. Flow, as he uses that word, “denotes the wholistic sensation present when we act with total involvement. It is the kind of feeling after which one nostalgically says: ‘That was fun,’ or ‘That was enjoyable.’”

And the beauty of the Flow channel is that age, race, creed, financial status is irrelevant. Anyone can enter into the flow when the appropriate challenge meets one's skill set. If you're interested, you can read more in Csíkszentmihályi's  book, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience or you can simply watch highlights of Thompson's performance and see what it looks like. It's more than "fun." It's incredible.

2. The Day After the World Series
I don't think I ever realized just how special a 7-game World Series can be. I suppose those on the winning side of them know exactly what I am talking about. 

Travis Ishikawa's clutch hit in NLCS!

I don't think many San Francisco Giants fans ever would have thought that team would pull off their third World Series title in five years (see point #5 for more evidence). Although it may have felt as though the 2014 Sportsman of the Year singlehandedly brought home that beautiful trophy, it was the managing and coaching, it was the clutch hits by unlikely and likely heroes. 

The Giants beat the Royals in Kansas City on a Wednesday night. I will never forget the energy that filled the hallways at school the next morning. Everyone was smiling. The joy was palpable. The celebration that took place on the field at Kaufmann Stadium continued in our hallways that special day. Makes me smile thinking about it now.

1. A Boy Named Liam: Something Beautiful for God.
This story merits its own posting. The highest high. Read it here.

Photo Credits
Klay
Ishikawa

A Mother's Day Tribute of a Different Kind: Remembering a XC Parent

It was fun to notice the many way even the sports world caught on to honoring the special women we know as "mom" on this Mother's Day. NBA Cares ran ads during the play-off games of LeBron James, Stephen Curry and other post-season players with the women who had a big hand in getting them there—their moms. A special feature during "The Players Championship" at TPC Sawgrass included pre-recorded interviews of golfers with their moms. The 2015 champion, Rickie Fowler and his mother laughed about the fact in spite of his success, he still knows who is boss. Even Sports Illustrated ran a compelling piece "Look at Me Now: Sorry Dads—Maternal Figures are Dominant in the NBA." And with this blog posting I would like to offer one of my own. 

As a high school teacher, I don't get to know that many parents all that often. For one, I have over 100 students and four classes, and students have six or seven other teachers. Furthermore, high school is a time for adolescents to learn to advocate for themselves—for their grades, opportunities, letters of recommendation, playing time and for the next step—college. Usually, parents only step in when and as needed (but not always!). While I meet a lot of parents at Back to School night, the evening is a fast paced "meet and greet." And the four years of high school somehow fly by way too fast. Before you know it, a student and his/her family has come and gone.

As a coach, I have come to see that in high school sports, parents can be a mixed blessing. Many are supportive with offering to help in any way they can. Thank God for these parents! They feed us, they help other kids with transportation, they maintain respectful boundaries and want to see their son or daughter succeed competitively, socially, emotionally, and more. However, others can be difficult. Questions about why our line-up is the way it is, why something can't be different or what they expect out of their child can be challenging. Some sports have it worse. Issues like cuts or playing time abound. Unfortunately, nothing's that simple, is it?

Regardless, coaching cross country and crew has afforded me the opportunity to meet many wonderful people. I have met moms and dads who are unbelievably generous, fun and interesting. A few have even become friends. I feel so blessed to have met some great parents who I admire and respect. One of those is Margaret Smith.

The eldest of her two daughters, Erin ran cross country for four years and served as a team captain. I remember meeting Margaret at an invitational early in the season during Erin's freshman year. In a short amount of time, Erin had made some big improvements. We were all very excited about her progress, but honestly, we were a little surprised. And when I say "we," I mean Erin herself, her mom, her teammates and her coaches. That being said, I could tell that Margaret was thrilled to see her daughter in this capacity. When Erin was asked to train with the varsity girls at the end of her freshman year, no one was more excited and supportive than Erin's mom. She never overstepped any boundaries. She checked in with us as needed and always showed up on time, with a smile and a presence that said "if you want to talk, I am here to listen."

The girls cross country coaches and I were delighted we would have another Smith this past fall, when Shannon joined our team. That incredible Smith smile can't be mistaken just anywhere. Margaret came to us with that same look of "I'm here to help in anyway I can." She was happy to be present for another era in SI girls cross country. She wanted Shannon to have her own experience in the sport and again, she supported her daughter in the best way she could.

Because I believe in the Communion of Saints, I believe Margaret can and will continue to do that, but, it will be in a much different context. Margaret Smith died on Thursday morning in a car crash; she was 49 years old. She was driving with her husband and two children in their SUV on Highway I-5 to Southern California to pick up Erin.

The counselors at school informed the cross country coaches of this tragedy early that morning. Our team has been informally meeting and will be formally meeting to support Shannon, Erin and their family. 

I have no idea how we can support two young women who have lost their mother, but part of me thinks it has something to do with the image that I carry of her in my heart. She is a parent I got to know because she showed up for their meets, one who was ready to talk, listen or ask questions when needed. I see her standing beside the cross country trail—smiling, fully present, open and warm. 

On Mother's Day, we honor and celebrate the women who gave us life. But we are tasked with remembering them too. When MLK was killed RFK shared these words"

He said, "My favorite poem, my—my favorite poet was Aeschylus. And he once wrote:

Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget

falls drop by drop upon the heart,

until, in our own despair,

against our will,

comes wisdom

through the awful grace of God."

The awful grace of God in this instance has reminded me of what we already know—every day is a gift. And so too is the meeting of another person who leaves a legacy on the cross country trail—of her children and her warm, kind presence.

A cross country race comes to an end; there is always a finish line. But I truly believe life is different. Death is not the end, but an invitation to something much different. I hope and pray the love that Margaret and her family had for one another can find some small strength for the journey in that belief. 

REQUIESCAT IN PACE

Photo Credits
Steph and Mom
Rickie and Mom
RFK

What the New York Giants Should Learn from Cross Country Runners

Although any press that cross country receives in the sporting world is a good thing, I wish it wasn’t (once again) about a runner collapsing at the state meet. Even though I am not a New York Giants fan, I should have been excited to read that Coach Tom Coughlin recently showed the team an ESPN video of University High senior Holland Reynolds crawling over the finish line to help secure the 2010 CIF Division V State Championship. His intent was to motivate his players, to help them visualize and understand what a true "fight to the finish" looks like—how gritty victory can be.

Don’t get me wrong, Holland’s feat was remarkable. Her will to complete the race truly shows an athlete who is unafraid to demonstrate much of St. Ignatius’ prayer of generosity: “to give and not to count the cost, to fight and not to heed the wounds, to toil and not seek for rest," but I see other heroic acts in cross-country all the time. So, with those respective sports in mind, let me offer an example of what I might show the Giants, were I head coach…

Considering that “The Nielsen Co. said an estimated 111 million people watched the Green Bay Packers outlast the Pittsburgh Steelers in professional football's ultimate game,” I believe the Super Bowl should be a showcase for sportsmanship par excellence. To me, the post-game ritual is a small but significant moment where sportsmanship is on display, revealed and necessary. And on October 16, 2011, Forty Niners head coach Jim Harbaugh sent sports-talk radio a-buzz as his over-exuberant handshake with Detroit Lions coach Jim Swartz that was analyzed for nearly two weeks.

According to the Huffington Post, "Schwartz didn't take it very well. He appeared to say something to that effect while the two were meeting on the field, but Harbaugh kept running toward the locker room. That's when Schwartz chased Harbaugh down and started yelling at him. Harbaugh looked as if he said "get out of my face" as Schwartz had to be separated by several staff members. Soon enough the players were taking cues from the emotions of their coaches and a scuffle ensued."

Harbaugh admitted that emotions got the best of him. He promised to “work on his handshake” which is funny to read but worth considering if you want to lead with class and poise.

I love his competitive nature. I also love that the Niners took down an undefeated team in their house. But, true sportsmanship loves something else. Sportsmanship in this moment is gracious and poised; it is pumped but it is respectful. And in that way, I think what I have witnessed as a cross country coach can serve as a shining example.

During the 2006-2009 school years, I coached a great runner at St. Ignatius College Prep, Katy Daly. Katy was a three-time WCAL champion, two-time CCS champion and as a junior, she was the CIF Division III State Champion. She excelled at every level, but her greatest title in my eyes is that of the consummate sportswoman.

After every race, Katy would wait for her opponents and her teammates to congratulate them. She would look them in the eye, give a high five or a pat on the back and say “good race." After the big races when Katy battled it out with another girl, without fail, she would initiate a hug. It was something I have rarely seen in this demanding sport. Girls are crying, writhing in pain, trying to open their lungs and Katy had the clarity and desire to extend her arms in a gesture that modeled true sportsmanship.

Runners may not speak to one another during a race, but that does not mean they are not communicating. Runners are dealing with an inner-monologue, they are assessing their opponents' strengths and their weaknesses while determining their own and that of the course. When Katy hugged an opponent, I saw this as a sign of reverence—for both the sport and the athlete. She would never say “look at what I did!” or what you did. No, to me it was Katy’s way of saying “3.1 miles of blood, sweat, and tears—we did that."

If you were to ask me what I would like a coach before the Superbowl to show his team, it might be something like that. But the irony is, as one of Katy’s coaches, this nothing we asked her to do. We never gave her any advice or input on how to handle victory or defeat—I don't know why. I suppose that’s the joy of being a witness to greatness in athletics. We get to take in the beauty of the moment and pass it on. And clearly, that’s why the stories of Holland Reynolds and Katy Daly are worth telling. One demonstrates a desire to get to the finish and the other is one of to be at the finish. I wonder what tomorrow will bring.

Photo Credits
Holland Reynolds
Harbaugh Handshake
Head CoachesKaty Daly—and I know she'll kill me for writing this!

The Spirituality of the Start Line

It is rare that a cross-country runner ever competes on a “true” cross-country course. Most competitions take place at parks or on school campuses, where with enough loops, hills, twists and turns a runner can cover 3 miles. But the final league meet for the WCAL always takes place at Crystal Springs Cross Country Park. The course is incredibly demanding—it is often hot and dusty, mile two includes “cardiac hill,” there is absolutely no shade… and yet, it is powerfully spiritual.

The starting line of the race is as intense at it gets. At Crystal, the runner sees the first mile before their eyes. The starting box (cross country doesn’t use blocks or a waterfall start like in track) is fixed at the top of a hill; a hill runners must descend before they ascend it into mile two. Every competitor knows what he or she must do, as well as what the person on their right and their left must do. They share one common fate, to beat the clock, to get from point A to point B as quickly as possible, to run their own race.

Each team is expected to arrive to the line 10 minutes prior to the start of the race. As coaches accompany their team to the line, they remind runners to stay loose and stretch, to complete a few striders, and reconsider the race plan. At SI, we remind our team of what we have done that has prepared us for the given race, we restate our strategy, and gather for a team prayer. With the varsity girls, we now take steps back from the start to let them speak with one another and pronounce their own cheer.

At that moment, I transition from coach to witness. I see the spirit of seven girls who have trained hard not alone—but together. I feel the bond that they share as four runners go to the front of the line and three girls take a few steps back. And at the very moment the race official calls their attention to the start, everything falls silent. It is as if a moment is frozen in time. I look at the varsity girls I have come to know, respect, admire and adore and I see not only are they are holding their position, they are holding their breath! The intensity of that very moment is so palpable. And yet, let me say it again, it is so spiritual.

In his article “I’m Spiritual, Who Needs Religion?” Tim Muldoon writes the word “spirituality” comes from the Latin term spiritus, which has the meanings of “spirit,” “ghost,” or even “breath.” It entered English through reference to Biblical ideas-specifically, as a way to render even more ancient terms from Hebrew and Greek. The bottom line is that the word “spirituality” was originally a word that referred to the Biblical notion of God giving us life by breathing into us, as depicted in the book of Genesis.

When the gun goes off, all runners release their breath. Indeed God has given them life and God has given them talent—speed, determination, and strength. Every breath is necessary to complete the 2.95 mile journey; and their spirituality will allow them to do more that complete the physical task of running the race. The spirituality of running and runners animates the challenge of the race; it makes running rewarding and more than worth the pain.

Olympic runner Eric Liddell said I believe God made me for a purpose. He made me fast and when I run I feel His pleasure. I highly doubt that my runners are feeling God’s pleasure as they ascend cardiac hill at Crystal Springs or the final turn up the hill to the finish. But as their coach, to see what God has made—the beauty of that park, the sanctity that one team can possess and even what these girls are capable of from the start to the finish, how can I not take a deep breath? As I inhale and then exhale, I feel God’s pleasure…the life..the spirit He has given me.

Photo Credits
All photos taken by the author on November 2, 2011