Reverse Rubbernecking

Waze informed me it would be 12 minutes before I would get to and through the traffic jam. I noticed that the accident wasn't even on my side of the road. No lanes were closed and yet traffic ensued. How? Why?! Rubbernecking. According to Progressive auto-insurance,

Rubbernecking occurs when drivers take their eyes off the road to look at a distraction, such as an accident or arrest. The term originated in the late 1800s to describe the act of turning and stretching the neck to eavesdrop. Today, it's synonymous with the same motion but is now commonly associated with the action that takes place while driving—namely slowing down to see an event that happened to someone else. Rubbernecking is a form of distracted driving that can be as dangerous as texting or talking on the phone while driving. 

To me, rubbernecking isn't that much different than gossip. We are curious creatures. Who doesn't want the low down? We want to know, but, like gossip, we seldom feel better after engaging, or in this case, taking the long look. Still, this blog is not meant to be a rant on rubbernecking or to preach against the tyranny of talk. Instead, I would like to offer all sports fans a practice worth pursuing. In June 2019, I wrote "Practice Reverse Gossip." Now I would like to offer a similar post. You guessed it: reverse rubbernecking.

This morning at the gym, highlights of the Golden State Warriors win over the Boston Celtics decorated and dominated local and national sports news. From Warriors' Coach Steve Kerr getting booed (for not givingCeltics star, Jason Tatum much playing time in the Olympics) to the recent success of the Splash Buddies, (the Splash Brothers are no more) there was enough electric content to make this reel worth running every half hour.

I noticed that every time the game summary appeared on the TV, I couldn't look away. In no way was I gawking. I found myself watching again, and again and again. Hadn't I just seen these shots? I marveled at one player among the others: Stephen Curry. Steph not only led the Warriors with 27 points, 9 assists, and 7 rebounds he made it look effortless. And that is how it felt to take it all in....

I took my eyes off of my weights and kept them on the screen. I remained curious; I wanted to see more. As I did, I realized my brain slowed down. It felt as though it opened up in watching but one thing or in this case one athlete (see Flow channel). My friend Jimmy, a die hard Celtics fan admitted "much respect for Steph. One of my all time favorites to watch." I wasn't the only one to feel this way. 

What's the lesson to learn? Watch! Enjoy the long look. Give your brain a positive pause. Let it soak something in. Rather than taking your eyes off the road and turning your head, reverse the rubberneck. Keep your focus on what's seeking your attention.

Obviously this analogy can only go so far. It falls short because the fact of the matter is if you are driving a car, you're not free to just pull over and gaze. You have some place to be. And yet, I think there's a need to name this playful  idea.

Reverse rubbernecking— came about as I stood near the start line of the WCAL III cross country race. Though I have not coached XC since 2015, I make a point of attending what is final league meet of the season every year. It takes place at a true cross country course—Crystal Springs. The 3.1 mile trek is situated in a space replete with rolling hills, very few trees and a designated path. One my think it's open space, but its primary function is for the sport of cross country, and in particular to showcase a race like this one. Once I got there, I knew I was in a place where I would see something special. 

At WCAL I in early October, I caught sight of a fantastic runner—one who makes a case for reverse rubbernecking. I didn't know anything about this senior, but I heard a buzz from the crowd when the varsity boys race convened. In a few minutes time, I realized why. The winner Miles Cook from Sacred Heart Cathedral Prep took the lead very early on and at no point in time was it close to compromised. As he emerged through the tunnel and onto the Polo Fields, the crowd started cheering as he completed this final 400 m to the finish line. He came through running fast and looking strong. Exhaustion? pain? agony? not on his face. He too made it look effortless. To watch him run was a thing of beauty. It's something for every sports fan to savor. Though that is not the reason I went to WCAL III, once I was there, I was excited for what I was in for. Cook did not disappoint.

Take these images to heart. When you see sport at its best: watch! Don't look away. Give your brain a break and let it behold what is unfolding before your eyes.

I wonder if I commit to reverse rubbernecking—will I find more to enjoy? Will I encounter more sport to savor? I'm happy to focus in on Steph this season as a social experiment. Stay tuned.

Photo Credits
Rubbernecking
Coach Kerr
Miles Cook
Highlights: Photo and reel is here

Spiritual Lessons from the No Sugar Challenge

In January 2015, I took part in the No Sugar Challenge at my gym. I jumped in. I talked to any and every person I could who was also participating in the contest. I was amazed at just how much sugar is in EVERYTHING. I never would have made this change on my own, but the timing and the fact that I was part of a group (we had to sign up and pay for this!) led to success. 

I began to read labels, make better choices, use new recipes and of course see results. The results however, weren't what you might expect. I didn't drop inches or lbs. but rather, I gained a sharper focus and mindset. What went in my body was much cleaner and far less processed and, with all due respect, what came out was no different. The No Sugar Challenge got me to to look at food much differently; I gained a lot. Chief among my realizations, is the affirmation that an individual's success is made possible by, through and in a community. We hear this truth all the time: it takes a village....no man or woman is an island....and there is no I in team (but there is a me)...so this post won't reveal anything new. It will however, remind you and us to lean in to one another...to look for opportunities to do so and encourage others to do the same.

In June of that same year, I went to the IMG Academy in Bradenton, FL. I was interested in this sports mecca and participated in a 3-day golf clinic with my friend Lisa. We ate and stayed "on campus" with over 200 athletes of all ages. I remember heading to the dining hall anxious to see what pro athlete might be eating next to us. I was so busy looking around and talking to our table mates, that I didn't pay much attention to a certain type of food that was no where to be found. 

At IMG, I suspect that sugar is a banned substance. No muffins or sugar cereals, no cookies after lunch, no dessert bar, fro-yo, nothing. The only way to end your meal on a sweet note would be with fruit. The no sugar challenge was a reality at IMG. While Lisa and I eventually made a run for some sugary snacks, I was intrigued by how a community can influence a group of people for good. The institution made this collective decision and I suppose the athletes are better for it. 

This Fall, I talked to my students in Ethics about something that might start out appealing...something that can be very tempting....it can be as addictive as sugar: gossip. Pope Francis wrote about its dangers and urged the faithful to refrain from this disrespectful, unkind and sometimes cruel act. In "The Tyranny of Talk," The Holy Father said

“It’s so rotten, gossip,” he said in February. “At the beginning, it seems to be something enjoyable and fun, like a piece of candy. But at the end, it fills the heart with bitterness and also poisons us.”

His words resonated with my students and with me. We face the temptation to think less of others, to ever so slightly delight in their misgivings and add what we know; that is gossip! In high school gossip is all too real, but it doesn't end there. As we age and mature, we ought to make better decisions and grow in wisdom and kindness. The reality of gossip reminds us we fall short at every age. Pope Francis' words also resonated with my relationship to sugar.

hands down, my favorite dessert

Susie Cakes makes my favorite dessert in the world: their signature birthday cake. At the beginning, it tastes wonderful, but if I don't exercise some self control, it fills my stomach not with bitterness, but with a substance that in no way sustains me. Sugar ultimately leaves me hollow and agitated. My system is no longer in balance. Yes, we get hyper from too much sugar for a reason.  The analogy is far from perfect, but it is moving in the right direction.

I began to wonder how the school where I teach might be different were we to conduct a "No Gossip Challenge." We could inform one another of how gossip affects a person's mental, emotional and spiritual self. In this case, we might do away with labels! We would need to encourage one another and share the challenges within the challenge. We could check in and have a metaphorical "weigh in" six weeks later.

I have always believed that good societies are comprised of excellent individuals—and yet great people are what make a society outstanding. There is a symbiotic relationship—one driving the other. In this new year, let us take on challenges to become more loving, healthier, kinder and more like Christ for the good of ourselves AND one another....and eat a little less sugar!

Photo credits
Susie Cakes
Sugar Break up
Stop the Sugar