My 10 Minutes with Coach Brian Kelly

I honestly think one of the greatest gifts you can offer another person is your undivided attention. My ten-minute conversation at the inaugural Notre Dame Family wines event and dinner with Brian Kelly, head football coach for the Fightin' Irish, affirmed my belief.

My friend Steve and I talked to Coach Kelly about everything and nothing in particular. But reflecting back on it now, I realize we exchanged ideas about some of my favorite things. I asked him if I could serve as his caddy at the American Century Championship Golf Classic, a tourney he plays in up at Lake Tahoe every summer. He made analogies between teaching and coaching. He shared thoughts on working with athletes today, about his Kelly Cares Foundation and its annual Football 101: For women only. And I talked to him about what consumed my imagination this past Fall: "A Season with Notre Dame Football." 

Showtime Sports claims that this series allows the viewer to "Go inside the locker room and coaching offices for never-before-seen footage of what goes into the makings of a champion college team." While most college football fans anticipate game day, I couldn't wait for Tuesday evenings September through November to watch the latest episode. 

This program invested me in the team and the players in a new way. I was able to see their work ethic, the demands of college football today, the different personalities, challenges, and of course the thrill or victory and the agony of defeat. (I showed multiple clips in my Sports and Spirituality class...shamelessly...unapologetically...to which my students said more often than not "Can we watch the rest of this?!") I came to know and love so many different players: DeShone Kizer, Jaylon Smith, Tori Hunter Jr., Devin Butler. But, one person captured my focus and attention more than anyone: Coach Brian Kelly. I spent the entire season psychoanalyzing him. I was desperate to get a better read on a man who is in one of the most and least enviable position in athletics.

Having the opportunity to talk to him one on one, hearing his speech, and considering what I've witnessed on the sidelines every Saturday (and Tuesday night), I have collected hundreds of thoughts. But one emerged; it crystallized from that one evening. I think it is one that many Irish fans will know and understand: Brian Kelly has grown into his role as Head Coach of Notre Dame. And I like it.

I should tell you the impressive stats and stories he shared about Notre Dame football. For example, Team 127 had not only six players taken in the first round of the NFL draft, they also earned he highest GPA of any football team in Fightin' Irish history. Perhaps wide receiver Corey Robinson has something to do with it. I hear he has a genius IQ; he will also serve as student body president next year. (Coach Kelly said he won the election with full party support). Who does that? Play football AND serve in student government? The Admiral's son, a man who deserves his own nickname, that's who.

I enjoyed learning Coach Kelly's path to the position as the head coach of Notre Dame. One step included coaching women's' softball, at his alma mater—Assumption College—where he also served as linebackers coach and defensive coordinator. The first time BK ever set foot in South Bend was when he accepted the job in December 2009. As someone who hadn't visited ND until I arrived there as a Freshman in August of 1992, I could relate. Though most people in the room were shocked to hear his story, I understood. Notre Dame is where Coach Kelly wanted to be. I get that.

He told us that Team 127 performed 2500 hours of community service and participated in 37 distinct community events. Right now, 11 men on the team are studying abroad and many others are working internships throughout the country. He successfully painted a portrait of a student consistent with his message "We are looking for a young man who will connect with the values of Notre Dame. How we develop and who we recruit is contingent on finding that fit. It's my job to recruit, retain and develop these players."

In a "Q & A" that followed his speech, an alumni said, "I watched A Season with Notre Dame Football and I was surprised at just how likable the team was. Is that true?" 

Coach Kelly responded by telling us that he had been to but two of his son's high school football games this past fall. He added, "if you had asked me 15 years ago whether or not I like my athletes, I would have told you I don't care. So long as you can run or score for me, I don't care if I like you or not. But knowing what I am missing out on with my own family, I decided I had to care about these guys." His words made me pause and think: Does this mean he's recruiting guys he knows he will like? Is he now investing in his players in a new way so he can get to know them better (e.g. training table, an open office)? I would love to talk to him more about that.

People might be familiar with this face of Coach Kelly.

I would also like him to know that what I was privy to in one evening helped me understand an important idea I encountered in Jim Martin SJ's new book "The Seven Last Words of Christ: An Invitation to a Deeper Relationship with Jesus." In it, Martin writes,

More to the point, who did Jesus think he was? Did he understand himself as the Messiah? And how did he come to understand himself? His identity? His humanity? His divinity? 

Much of this must remain a mystery. But one helpful way to understand it is that Jesus grew in his understanding of his identity throughout his life. 

To begin with, it is reasonable to think that Mary would have shared with her son her experience with the Angel Gabriel, and Joseph his experiences of his dreams. All parents want to help their children understand who they are called to be, so why wouldn't Mary and Joseph try to help Jesus understand his unique vocation? As he matured, they likely spoke with him about his identity, even if they didn't fully comprehend it themselves. Much later, of course, at his baptism, Jesus has a profound experience of himself as God's "beloved son."

But even after his baptism, Jesus may have struggled to understand what this meant. We all do the same after we have had a deep insight or passed a milestone in our lives. A married couple, for example, don't fully understand marriage on their wedding day. A mother doesn't fully understand motherhood on the day of the birth of her first chid. And a priest doesn't fully understand what it means to be a priest on the day of his ordination. All of this takes time. 

The truth of growing into one's identity and the way I have seen this in the seven years Brian Kelly has coached football at Notre Dame is what I want people to know. To think that anyone should arrive at a place and serve in a position like that one and have it all figured out is unfair. It takes time. Though our world (and alums) has immediate demands, to make something like a high profile coaching position one's own demands reflection, maturity, wisdom, prayer, assistance, support, and encouragement. I don't appreciate the fans who have written Coach Kelly off for some of the mistakes he made in his first two years. The program that he has built and the players that he is shaping are ones I am very proud to be associated with. 

Watch Coach Kelly on the sidelines on any given Saturday, and he can't help but stand face to face with his quarterback or the referee. It's a role he's grown into, one that he has made his own. And I'm grateful he's sharing that with the University of Notre Dame, undivided attention and more.  Go, Irish.

Photo Credits
BK and Kizer
Coach Kelly
Season with ND Football
Angry BK

What Bubba Watson Taught Me About St. Joseph....

Our school liturgy on Friday honored St. Joe.

My mom believes that Mother's Day and Father's Day were made up by Hallmark. She got this from her father, my grandfather. They don't think there should be an arbitrary day set by a company to profit on something we should do everyday. After all, honoring our mothers and fathers is one of the commandments. But the truth of the matter is if my brother, sister or I forget to call our mom or send our dad a card on this day, we will hear about it for years to come. All of this is my way of saying that I think many Spanish speaking countries have it right—the Feast of St. Joseph is also Father's Day—Dia del padre. Whether or not one is a Christian, the example the Joseph provides is one that all men can learn from and appreciate.

One of my favorite Father's Days was spent with my mom, dad and sister at the Olympic Club in San Francisco. After brunch in the main dining room, we went downstairs to the grill room/bar area to watch the men's US Open (golf). My dad, who proclaimed how overly full he felt from the buffet was still able to order a few beers and make room for their addictive peanuts and pretzels. That's my dad, he always has room for a beer, especially when an a good sports event is underway. Some of my favorite memories with my dad are going to Pac-10 football games with him to watch his brother, my uncle referee it. We've been to more than our fair share of Notre Dame football games together, traveling far to do so. He saves highlights and interviews of athletes and coaches for me he knows I'll enjoy. I do the same for him.

I came to love ND through my dad.

Sports have taught he a lot about my father. He earned a tennis scholarship which allowed him to attend Seattle University. He is the one who signed me for lessons at the age of 12. I still remember what he said: I hope you enjoy this sport as much as I do. It's one you can play for the rest of your life. He was right, I enjoyed it as much as he did, maybe even more. Of all sports, I consider tennis as "my first love." My dad also comes from a fanatical sports family. You could say that it rubbed off on me. Sports is just one thing I have come to love through my father.

From time to time I have wondered what Jesus came to love through his own early father. In "My Life with the Saints," James Martin writes, "Before his public ministry, we know that he must was trained in the trade of carpentry (The Greek word used in the Gospels of Mark and Matthew is tekton which can be variously translated as "craftsman" or "woodworker" but traditionally rendered as "carpenter.") And with that, Joseph would have passed on to Jesus the values required to become a good carpenter: patience, judgment and persistence.

The life of St. Joseph is considered a "hidden" one. Joseph, Jesus' earthly father speaks no words in the Gospel and there are but a few lines written about him. Although we know very little about him, his impact had to have been tremendous. Let that serve as a metaphor for relationships we have with others. I think of my friend Chris whose father died 10 years ago. I know they were very close. Even though I never met his dad, part of me feels as though I have. March 19 is a wonderful day to do that.

So Mother's Day is Sunday, May 10, 2015 and Father's Day is Sunday, June 21 (always the final round at the US Open if you need an easy way to remember).

Maybe Watson, now a father of two--he and his wife have adopted a boy and a girl, will win this year's US Open!

And the reason I write all of this is because I have been commissioned to write regularly for a blog about a holy woman named Cora Evans. There is a movement toward her canonization and this arm of social media aims to draw attention to her cause. Linked here is the reflection I wrote entitled: The Dream of St. Joseph. One of the golfers my dad and I both love made me think of St. Joe in a new way. Enjoy.

New Years Resolutions 2015: To Laugh Often & Loud

To laugh often and much.

To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children.

To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends.

To appreciate beauty;

To find the best in others.

To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition.

To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.

That is to have succeeded.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson

The first line of the American author's poem "Success" reveals one of my two New Year's Resolutions for the 2015. I hope to laugh a lot this year. I hope to laugh with my students, friends, family and strangers. I love laughing out loud when I read something funny. I can't say that I am similar to my niece Grace who loves telling jokes, but she makes me laugh and smile when I hear them! Someone once quipped "laughter is good for the soul." Well, if that's true—and I believe it is—then it's also good for our spirituality. Ron Rolheiser writes "Spirituality is about what we do with our spirits, what we do with our souls." Amen.

I hope my resolution doesn't strike you as odd or strange. Who doesn't feel better after a deep laugh? Laughter never goes out of style. Jim Martin, SJ the culture editor at America Magazine agrees. In Between Heaven and Mirth: Why Joy, Humor, and Laughter Are at the Heart of the Spiritual Life he writes,

“Humor serves some important purposes,” he said. “First, it can remind you of your poverty of spirit. Laughing at yourself reminds you that you are a human being reliant on God just like anybody else.” For leaders, humor is essential, Martin said, “particularly in the religious world, where we all tend to think that we alone are doing God’s work.” 

We feel drawn to religious leaders with a sense of humor. It shows us that they understand their essential poverty of spirit and their own reliance on God. It shows humility, which is also essential in the spiritual life. You take God seriously, Jesus seriously and the gospel seriously, but you shouldn’t take yourself too seriously.”

I agree. A good sense of humor is essential as a teach in the classroom and as a coach on the field. This is why one of my favorite moments this past year involved making my students laugh very loud and very hard.

I think everyone looks like someone else. I love to share my visual musings with others and more often than not they concur. I realize it's important to be sensitive to how and if you are to share your findings with the guilty parties. This fall, I knew I had a worthy subject, who would not shy away from the comparison his face to that of a famous athlete. 

The day after the World Series Championship, I had to find a way to publicly acknowledge and congratulate the MVP Madison Bumgarner. I did so by introducing him next to Arthur the Aardvark, a popular cartoon character among children. Some students could see the match and other couldn't. No problem. It was all a foil to compare Alex, who I have taught for two years now, to the Panda. Pablo Sandoval.

The class roared in laughter. Alex shook his head in agreement. I believe this small bit of humor is why one of my students describe this class as "Loving."

My second resolution is to pay better attention. I want to harness my focus on what I am doing to be more mindful and present. I also believe that paying better attention will help me laugh more often. Some of the funniest jokes and quips from observations about our humanity. Take for example this video entitled "Golf Stereotypes." 

It is remarkably funny for those who play golf, because I know (and you will too) every single on of these stereotypes on the course. I even know which one I think my friends will say is me. It's easy (and fun) to laugh at others. It's equally important to laugh at oneself. NB: If you have not seen this yet and/or the one on pick-up basketball (if you play) posted above, stop reading and watch. 

Martin affirms this is a good thing about our nature. One that we share with the Lord. He writes, "If we believe that Jesus is fully human, as our theology tells us, then that means he had a sense of humor. You cannot be fully human without a sense of humor. That’s a robot, not a human being."

He adds, I believe God has a great sense of humor. Sometimes he gives you something like a nudge and says, Don’t take yourself so seriously! Humor is in fact an essential element in the mirth of creation. We can see how, in many matters in our lives, God wants to prod us into taking things a bit more lightly; to see the funny side of it; to get down off our pedestal and not to forget our sense of fun."

Some of the people I admire most are able to laugh often and much. It's one thing to be funny, it's another to find humor in everyday life. And I believe it's too important not to look for. That's why I'm going to pay more attention in 2015 for joy, humor and laughter.

Joy, Humor and Laughter in Sports & Spirituality

Looking at Detroit Tigers pitcher Max Scherzer during ALDS Game 5 last week, I couldn’t help but respond to my friend’s comment with a “bad” theology joke.  What’s up with his eyes? Whoa! One is so blue and the other is so dark.  He should wear a contact lens!  I turned to her with a straight face and said “he’s just like Christ.  Jesus sees us with two eyes—one human and one divine.”  I thought it was brilliant (another pun?).  Was it appropriate? I think so….

In case you haven’t noticed thanks to the popular writer, James Martin, SJ there’s been a movement toward emphasizing and recognizing the need for joy and laughter in the Catholic Church.  Fr. Martin may promote his latest book Between Heaven and Mirth: Why Joy, Humor, and Laughter Are at the Heart of the Spiritual Life but he’s on to something. Being a Catholic is demanding—we must carry our cross, die to self and live the call and the challenge of the Gospel. But this doesn’t mean we need not find joy in the journey or a laugh along the way.  

Stephen Colbert, one of the more popular figures in mainstream media today is both a Catholic and a comedian.  His story moved me. “A Comedian and a Cardinal Open Up on Spirituality” explains why he does what he does.  It says, “Mr. Colbert is the youngest of 11 children, raised by Catholic parents who both attended Catholic colleges. His father and two of his brothers died in a plane crash when Mr. Colbert was 10. He said that after the funeral, in the limousine on the way home, one of his sisters made another sister laugh so hard that she fell on the floor. At that moment, Mr. Colbert said he wanted to make someone laugh that hard.”  French philosopher and Jesuit priest, Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, S.J. said, “Joy is the most infallible sign of the presence of God.” Indeed God can be with us at the funeral of our parents or even at an event that brought together Timothy Cardinal Dolan and Stephen Colbert in front of 3,000 students at Fordham University on September 14, 2012. 

The New York Times reported that “The evening was billed as an opportunity to hear two Catholic celebrities discuss how joy and humor infuse their spiritual lives. They both delivered, with surprises and zingers that began the moment the two walked onstage. Mr. Colbert went to shake Cardinal Dolan’s hand, but the cardinal took Mr. Colbert’s hand and kissed it — a disarming role reversal for a big prelate with a big job and a big ring. The event would not have happened without its moderator, the Rev. James Martin, a Jesuit priest and prolific author who has made it his mission to remind Catholics that there is no contradiction between faithful and funny."

So in that spirit, I would like to share another example of what has brought me joy and laughter, even bemusement in sports and spirituality.  I encourage you to think of your own.

As many San Franciscans know, October is our warmest month of the year.  We finally have temperatures climb above 75 degrees for more than one day at a time.  This is a welcome thing, with exception. 

My path to cross country practice leads me from the women’s coaches’ locker room past the girls’ locker room and then…the boys’ locker room.  As the season progresses, an odor builds to the point that it penetrates the hallway.  Boys sweat and girls do too. But boys who play football wear pads that they do not wash. I have often wondered if a power hose could assuage the olfactory cocktail of dirt, blood and sweat.  On these days, I cannot help but thing of John 11:39. 

Jesus arrives at the home of Mary and Martha knowing their brother, his beloved friend Lazarus is dead. Jesus said, "Remove the stone." Martha, the sister of the deceased, said to Him, "Lord, by this time there will be a stench, for he has been dead four days."

I walk by that locker room and after I am assaulted by the stench. I can’t help but wonder what has been dead for four days.  I also want to know how boys are able to eat food in there.  Boys. 

This is just one of many ways to link the tradition, stories and experiences of our faith to our everyday experiences—good, bad and ugly.  Funny and joyful.  We can all use a little more of that!

Photo Credits
Max Scherzer
Cardinal and Comedian
Lazarus' Tomb

The Language of the Saints: Pitching, Torture, Hustle...?

“Hardly any practice is so distinctively Catholic as the cult of saints.” As we read Avery Dulles’ “The Catholicity of the Church” I was disappointed that my students were exponentially more interested in the notion of a “cult” within Catholicism than in the saints. Matthew Kelly states “it is true, some people have placed too much emphasis on the role the saints play in Catholic spirituality.” But this is not the spirituality of the young people I teach. And it is unfortunate, for saints have made the same journey we are called to explore for ourselves. I believe if we learn their language, we can gain a better understanding of how a person is transformed in Christ.

What is the language of the saints? And how have those in this “cult” been transformed in Christ? My students are seeking answers vis-à-vis “My Life With the Saints” by Jesuit priest, James Martin. It is more than the biography of sixteen holy men and women. To an extent, it is autobiography, yet it is ultimately an invitation to discover like the saints, how one can overcome struggles, faults and failings and still draw closer to God.

Martin’s companionship with the saints began in an unlikely place, at an unlikely time. Because of his passion for French, Martin traveled several times to France. One particular journey led him outside of Paris to Orléans, a city set free in 1429 by Joan of Arc. A Catholic Saint whose story was largely unfamiliar to him suddenly became a little more familiar. He decided to read more about her short life. He writes “Joan’s story introduced me to a new language: the special language of the saints—verbs like: believe, pray, witness and nouns like: humility, charity, ardor.”

I decided we would read each biography seeking new verbs and nouns—this language of the saints. My students met my request with a bit of a blank stare. What saint doesn’t “believe” and “pray?” What saint isn’t “humble” or a model of “charity.” They were right, even if the saints were largely unfamiliar to them. In response, I decided to apply this quest with the familiar—the San Francisco Giants to determine if could gain a better understanding of this “cult” and a new language. The 2010 Giants are a dynamic and talented team. They have been deemed “lovable” nationwide, but Martin’s language of saints doesn’t include adjectives. Descriptors are easy; but choices and actions—verbs—and what they have or possess—nouns—are different. It’s a nuanced way of thinking, but it invites a creative reflection. When I think of the Giants, verbs like: hustle and execute and nouns like: heart, pitching, torture and victory come to mind. Every game in the NLDS series was decided by one run. If the Giants didn’t hustle, the outcome could have been much different. All players, the pitchers, offense and defense, executed. If you’re a Giants fan, you understand the team’s unofficial motto: torture. (For NLDS) No game was lop-sided or decided early on. In fact, the final two games of the four games series were determined in the final two innings. At times it was torture for me to watch. But this team has a lot of heart. It lacks the strong personalities of the past. Because of outstanding pitching and teamwork, victory is ours!

This example prompted my students to seek the language of the saints familiar and unfamiliar to them, in the text and beyond it. Nouns: With the Blessed Mother we think of grace. We give hail to Mary, who was full of grace. With St. Monica, I think of persistence. She relentlessly prayed for the conversion of her son, St. Augustine. Thanks be to God she did! Because of him, we have a great theology. Verbs: Let’s be honest, many of the saints are extreme. St. Francis, St. Ignatius of Loyola are but two examples of men who were able to renounce luxury and privilege. Their stories may be too severe, but they are viable examples of people who chose otherwise. Furthermore, many of their stories incorporate the supernatural. Padre Pio was able to bi-locate. He was seen at two places at once. Natural law indicates this is not possible; supernatural law allows for it. St Thomas the Apostle doubted. What person doesn’t struggle with their faith? Despite his doubt, He was also the first apostle to recognize Christ Jesus as the Risen Lord with his words “My Lord and My God!” And the list goes on… 

The unofficial theme song of the 2010 San Francisco Giants is Don’t Stop Believin’ I think the same is true for one of the great spiritual treasures of the Catholic Church—the saints. Let us learn their language, for they can lead us to victory in Christ.

Photo Credits
Tapestry of the Saints
Joan of Arc
Giants Win the Pennant
Posey & Baum

One Lovable Team, One Lovable Saint

Saint Francis: the patron saint of the city by the bay—San Francisco. Today, October 4 is the feast day of Francis of Assisi, and if you are a San Francisco Giants fan, today is a feast day as well. For the first time since 2003, the Giants are the National League Western Division Champions.

I woke up this morning with a smile on my face, ready to read two important items 1) “These Lovable Giants” a posting on SI.com recommended by KNBR’s Murph and Mac and 2) "Fools For Christ: Francis of Assisi" by James Martin, SJ for class. As I read the excerpt from Martin’s popular book “My Life with the Saints” I was surprised to learn Francis is recognized as “the world’s most popular saint.” I hadn’t thought about who might hold this crown. It made sense and still Martin’s views resonated with me:

But as much as I found him a charming figure, my understanding of the world’s most popular saint was the rather sentimental one that is common today: as a sort dopey but well-meaning hippie who talked to birds. As Lawrence S. Cunningham notes in Francis of Assisi such a view is “most completely summed up the ubiquity of those concrete garden statues with a bird perched on the saint’s shoulder found in everyone’s garden center.” In this conception, Francis was cheerful no doubt, but also a little bland. “Such an understanding is coterminous with what I would call spirituality lite.” Francis of Assisi is a good example of why the legends should never overshadow the actual life. For within his life, many surprises await those willing to meet Francis...

What anyone who reads about St. Francis may be surprised to learn is just how tremendous was his love for Christ, for all of creation, for the poor and for life. His conversion, travels, preaching and writings are testimony of this love. His great ability to love and to be loved, as cited in the prayer of St. Francis, makes him, well, lovable.

And, the same is true of the 2010 San Francisco Giants. Fans that have supported the Giants, even in July when they were in fourth place in the division, know about the numerous surprises that characterize this victory as particularly sweet. In “These Lovable Giants” Joe Posnanski writes, “here’s the thing that makes these San Francisco Giants different: They’re lovable.” Nothing demonstrated that quality more than when “the players and coaches and manager Bruce Bochy all made a full lap of the field, high-fiving all those fans leaning over the fence.”

Like St. Francis, The popularity of the 2010 Giants is for good reason; they played incredible baseball in September. Their pitching staff is to be feared—with or without the beard. I would love to see them play all the way into November! And it’s good to see that the popularity of St. Francis remains. In 2009, the Franciscans celebrated 800 years of ministry. Francis' teachings about creation as a manifestation of God have impacted the Church's theology about creation such that Pope John Paul II declared St. Francis the patron saint of ecology in 1980. My sister shared with me at this weekend’s Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival Patti Smith spoke to the crowd about St. Francis’ life and legacy. In fact, she read his prayer at about the same time the Giants clinched the pennant.

Today, however, is a feast day. We remember, we celebrate, we believe. Humm Baby!

Photo Credits
Wilson and Posey
Garden Statue of Francis 
Giants win!