New Year's Resolutions or Aspirations?

As a teacher, I celebrate a new year in August and in January. I welcome the opportunity to do something better, to commit to a healthy habit, to resign the bad ones and see what might change. I realize a lot of people don't necessarily feel this way.

By now, you've heard it more than once. When asked about their New Year's resolution, a friend or family member replies, "My resolution is to not make any resolutions." Insert canned laughter here. I always think of myself, "that's too bad."

Country music star, Kelsea Ballerini shared, 

“Y’all. I've spent the last few days writing pages and pages of things I want to do to ‘better’ myself, my body, my relationships, my career, my life this year. PAGES. And then I realized that was only going to bring more anxiety and unrealistic expectations into my world and I just don’t have the room for it this year. I ripped those pages out. Now, I'm focused on doing my damn best.”

Ok. That's a start. But how might that happen? How do we get there? Who points the way? To me, a new year's resolution provides a framework for not only achieving but committing oneself to doing their damn best. Whether it's eating one piece of fruit a day, reading for 22 minutes or walking more steps, a new year's resolution invites us to reflect upon who we are and who we would like to be.

If you're still not convinced, Dynamic Catholic offered what I found to be an invitational distinction to the January game. They wrote: 

Don't Make a List of Resolutions. Make a list of Aspirations.

It’s hard to change old habits. It’s even harder to create new ones. We tell ourselves we’ll wake up earlier in the morning, but the alarm goes off and all we can think about is the cold air and the warm bed. And if we’re not careful, making the wrong choice is easy. 

But when you make a list of aspirations, you open your eyes to new possibilities. You awaken your deepest yearnings, and inspire yourself to make small, powerful changes. Instead of thinking about the difficulties, you focus on the dreams you have for your life.

Is it helpful to your to make this distinction? Is a list of aspirations less intimidating? It's a thought.

Since I am such a both/and person, I decided that my 22 for 2022 list would include both aspirations and resolutions. Yes, I have resolved to play 22 new golf courses and go to Mass at 22 new churches. And, thanks to this template created by Gretchen Rubin, I know how 20 aspirations. She describes it this way

Tired of making New Year’s resolutions? Looking for a new, creative way to identify your aims for 2022? Try making a “22 for 2022” list. List twenty-two things you'd like to do by the end of the year. These items can be easy or ambitious, one-time undertakings or habits that stretch for years. There’s no one right way to make your list—just think about what you want the new year to hold. Onward!

On her podcast Happier Episode 359, Rubin and her sister Elizabeth Kraft discuss each item on their list for 2022. As a loyal listener, I know that come August, they will share their progress. And before the year comes to a close, Gretch and Elizabeth reveal if they have successfully checked the box or not. Call it a day of reckoning, but I know the visual tool and their testimonies breed success. Furthermore, an accountability partner is important. Finding my own, might be worth listing as an aspiration for the year.

I write about aspirations and resolutions because yes, a good number will involve sports and spirituality. In fact, I have not yet concluded my own list and am still considering if it is public domain. But one important item on that list is prompting my next blog post. Stay tuned and in the mean time aspire away!

Photo Credits
Aspirations
My 22 for 2022

How to Succeed at Sports, Spirituality and your New Year's Resolution

One reason (among many) to write a blog is that it serves as a virtual diary. Writing my latest blog posting, I realized my new year's resolution has served as a topic several times.They include

• New Year's Resolutions 2015: To Laugh Often and Loud
• My New Year's Resolution: Rub Some Dirt on It

In reviewing the list of entries, I am able to recall what I resolved to do and why. It has been fun to integrate sports and spirituality into this process. My favorite posting about this topic remains:"Notable New Year's Resolutions: More Parade Vibe."

In spite of this common theme, a common oversight exists. I have yet to write a posting that features tips, thoughts or input on how to help people manage their resolutions. What blog doesn't have "Ten Ways to..." or "Seven Practical Steps for..." I feel as though in tI have succeeded making resolutions new habits. What have I done that has helped me succeed? Who can assist me in this process? Here are but a few thoughts.

Partner in Crime.
Studies have long reported that those who have a workout buddy are much more likely to do so on a regular basis. We all need accountability and when that comes in the form of another person, especially a friend, the likelihood of success increases exponentially. 

Why not tell someone you talk to regularly, a trusted friend who is also excited about resolutions what you have resolved to do. Ask him or her about their progress and be ready to share your own. If this partner also happens to be someone you enjoying working out with, bonus points. They might also be someone worth praying for or with, too!

SMART goals
Hopefully you are aware of S.M.A.R.T. goals: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Results Based and Time-Bound. A helpful resource/outline can be found here.

In terms of new year's resolutions however, I believe they only need to include the first three letters in the acronym. It's necessary to be Specific—name what you want to do and why. By Measurable, I have found I succeed when I can determine quantity. For example, how often? everyday? how much? Maybe people are cynical about resolutions because they are unattainable. Create one that is. No one sets a goal aiming to fail. Your resolution shouldn't be any different.

Visual Aids. 
What can and will help you along the way? I am a visual learner and find images, graphics and photos to be helpful sources of inspiration. Maybe you post a reminder on your refrigerator or your bathroom mirror. Don't let these go stale or become invisible. Mix them up and keep them fresh. You are worth it!

I found this resource from Bankers Healthcare Group to be helpful. They break down the goal step-by-step. Very SMART.

I agree with BHG when they write: "Small strikes toward better fitness goals will result in a healthy and happier lifestyle. Get out there an embrace a healthy you!"
Photo Credits
Banker's Healthcare Group

Looking Back and Ahead: Checking in on Resolutions for 2016

We have to give the Romans credit, the month of January is well named. As written on Crystalinks.com

In ancient Roman religion and mythology, Janus is the god of beginnings and transitions, thence also of gates, doors, doorways, endings and time. He is usually a two-faced god since he looks to the future and the past. The Romans dedicated the month of January to Janus. His most apparent remnant in modern culture is his namesake, the month of January.

It's also my least favorite month of the year. January is long. All 31 days seem to pass slowly. I should take comfort in the hibernation mode the first month of the year invites us to, but instead I get antsy. I think to myself, Days are supposed to be getting longer—right?, but the evidence is slim. The  heart of winter has truly settled in and the cold, gray skies and cold temperatures have set up camp.

The initial enthusiasm for a new year and new resolutions has waned. Old habit die hard in spite of my resolutions that I make them new. So that is why, in the spirit of Janus, there's no better time than now to evaluate and what progress has been made and determine what do I need to do to in order to succeed.

I had three resolutions for 2015. I found that they fit the notion of sports and spirituality quite well.

1. Become a better listener. I once heard someone say that every relationship is improved by careful listening. I don't think I'm a terrible listener or that I'm at a deficit, but I do think there's always room for improvement. I want to listen to understand. This requires slowing down. Many times, I urge my students to tell me what they need or answer quickly. Why the haste?

Also, I often get so excited talking to some people about things like Notre Dame football or a recent "30 for 30" that I find myself listening so I can share my story...or experience...or....!!!

With my new years' resolution in place, I've noticed that when I listen in the way I am hoping to, I ask better questions. And I think the best interviewers are those who are attuned listeners (more on this in a future blog posting. Thank you Tom Rinaldi). 

In order to succeed at this resolution, I need to remind myself of it. I need to truly pay attention to what someone is saying. I also think it helps to picture a person who is considered a good listener. Notice what they do, how they respond and make others feel.

2. Eat a salad a day 
American author, journalist and activist Michael Pollan has written many great books on food as a moral issue. He has summarized the ideal diet in haiku form, when he said "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.” And I believe there's no better way to do that than via a tasty, crunchy, fresh, seasonal salad.

When it comes to my meals, I seek convenience, relative good taste, and variety. A salad is all of this and more. I live in a place that cultivates fresh fruits and vegetables year round. A salad can be dressed up or down. Forever seeking more fiber, vitamins and anti-oxidants, I don't know what I'm waiting for.

Honestly, I think eating a salad a day requires a financial commitment on my part. Many stores have pre-made salads and these are delish. Others require careful planning or preparing in order to just eat the ingredients before they good bad.

We have heard Paul's first letter to the Corinthians 6-19-20 in which he writes,

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been purchased at a price. Therefore, glorify God in your body. 

Why not do so with putting good food (or better food) into our bodies this year?  

I have had some difficulty fitting in a salad every single day, so I am allowing myself to modify that goal toward 5 days a week. When I go to the grocery store, I purchase Taylormade Farms and that lasts me for 2.5 days. And, when I eat out, I try to order a salad as some part of my meal. How do you integrate fruits and veggies on a regular basis?

3. Become a student of the game.
The last round of 18 I played in 2016 was with a friend Cris. One of her friends in our foursome said "Cris is a true student of the game." They laughed as she discussed how many lessons she had taken in the past year but I heard his words differently. I thought that was a tremendous compliment. 

I went to IMG in Bradenton, FL last April for 2 days to study the game

If you saw Cris play, you wouldn't think she would take lessons regularly...or need to. With a single digit handicap, she hits with power, precision and executes beautifully. But anyone who knows the game of golf knows her study of the game is a significant reason for why she's so good.

The way I see it, ones who studies the game has humility and respect for it. To me a student of the game is open to growth and is aware that the quest for excellence never ends; it's always seeking instruction and more information. I decided that I would commit to being a "student of the game" by taking one lesson a month. That's a S.M.A.R.T. goal—literally and figuratively.

What would you like to study this year? Scripture? the lives of saints? A new sport? An old one? 

As we draw the month of Janus to a close, look back on the progress you have made in the new year. Look forward to continued growth and what you need to do to get there. You'll also find longer days and warmer temps to come...

Photo Credits
Janus
Listening
Pollan

Attitude is Everything: Finding Humor in All Things

I had two resolutions for 2015: pay (better) attention and laugh more often. My sense was that one could lead to the other. I'm happy to report that my resolution proved to be true. Funny things happen all the time, and quite often we are the source of it. Human nature is worth observing—we are wacky, intense, and at times totally nuts. We are also loving, kind, generous and spirited. No wonder my aunt loves to people watch. We all simply need to notice what's going on around us. 

And that's exactly what a group known as Dude Perfect has done. As written on Wikipedia, this

"sports entertainment group who got their start on YouTube. Most known for their trick shots, they are also involved in comedy with their "Stereotypes" series, in which they poke fun at common stereotypes, mostly in the sports world."

For me, their "golf stereotypes" video was the source of laughter that bordered on tears that got 2015 off to a great start. My recent favorite is gym stereotypes. If you are invested in any of the endeavors they stereotype, you can't help but laugh because they have found truth in the human race.

My gym is no exception. I know when I hit the sixth floor the Olympic Club in downtown San Francisco for a one-hour workout, I will have 15 minutes of chatter, banter, trash talk, teasing and questions. I encounter 80% of the stereotypes Dude Perfect portrays. One that they might want to add—or at least modify—is "Mr. attitude really is everything and mine is one that must change." Here's why...

Earlier this week a friend and I were lifting together, standing in a space that was blocking no one. It was crowded. I know the time of day and the incessant rain outside contributed to that, but so does the time of year. What gym isn't crowded in the month of January?

In the middle of my set, I was nearly run down by a man who stormed out of the basketball gym and through the weight room. He looked around in total disgust and said "I don't know where all these people are the rest of the year!" As he stormed to the water cooler on the other side of the gym, all were left to pick up the scent of his alpha male spray.

We heard him alright. I had to laugh at how strongly this member sought to claim his territorial rights. Less than five minutes later, two men engaged in lifting at two adjacent machines said for others to hear, "you can always tell when it's a new year, can't you?!"

My friend looked at me and said "I read something about this recently. We've got it all wrong. What we should be saying is: It's great to see you here or glad the new year has brought you back. Instead we make people feel like they don't belong or make them feel very unwelcome" I looked at her with eyes wide open. She's right—you working out at the gym or not, doesn't make me any more or less fit or strong. My athletic goals for 2016 are not contingent upon whether or not you show up at the gym. 

Furthermore, rather than feeling threatened or annoyed by people who are seeking to make a change, we should be a community that encourages one another. That costs nothing.

Realistically speaking, it may be to everyone's benefit to change our mindset. We win as a society when public health sores, as opposes to declines. The fewer people dependent on the system and remaining healthy, means the more productive and successful we can all be!

So notice those around you. Encourage them and make them feel welcome. Make them laugh or find humor in them. And live the words of Coach Lou Holtz “Your talent determines what you can do. Your motivation determines how much you are willing to do. Your attitude determines how well you do it.”

Photo Credit
Apple a Day!
Gym 

New Years Resolutions 2015: To Laugh Often & Loud

To laugh often and much.

To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children.

To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends.

To appreciate beauty;

To find the best in others.

To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition.

To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.

That is to have succeeded.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson

The first line of the American author's poem "Success" reveals one of my two New Year's Resolutions for the 2015. I hope to laugh a lot this year. I hope to laugh with my students, friends, family and strangers. I love laughing out loud when I read something funny. I can't say that I am similar to my niece Grace who loves telling jokes, but she makes me laugh and smile when I hear them! Someone once quipped "laughter is good for the soul." Well, if that's true—and I believe it is—then it's also good for our spirituality. Ron Rolheiser writes "Spirituality is about what we do with our spirits, what we do with our souls." Amen.

I hope my resolution doesn't strike you as odd or strange. Who doesn't feel better after a deep laugh? Laughter never goes out of style. Jim Martin, SJ the culture editor at America Magazine agrees. In Between Heaven and Mirth: Why Joy, Humor, and Laughter Are at the Heart of the Spiritual Life he writes,

“Humor serves some important purposes,” he said. “First, it can remind you of your poverty of spirit. Laughing at yourself reminds you that you are a human being reliant on God just like anybody else.” For leaders, humor is essential, Martin said, “particularly in the religious world, where we all tend to think that we alone are doing God’s work.” 

We feel drawn to religious leaders with a sense of humor. It shows us that they understand their essential poverty of spirit and their own reliance on God. It shows humility, which is also essential in the spiritual life. You take God seriously, Jesus seriously and the gospel seriously, but you shouldn’t take yourself too seriously.”

I agree. A good sense of humor is essential as a teach in the classroom and as a coach on the field. This is why one of my favorite moments this past year involved making my students laugh very loud and very hard.

I think everyone looks like someone else. I love to share my visual musings with others and more often than not they concur. I realize it's important to be sensitive to how and if you are to share your findings with the guilty parties. This fall, I knew I had a worthy subject, who would not shy away from the comparison his face to that of a famous athlete. 

The day after the World Series Championship, I had to find a way to publicly acknowledge and congratulate the MVP Madison Bumgarner. I did so by introducing him next to Arthur the Aardvark, a popular cartoon character among children. Some students could see the match and other couldn't. No problem. It was all a foil to compare Alex, who I have taught for two years now, to the Panda. Pablo Sandoval.

The class roared in laughter. Alex shook his head in agreement. I believe this small bit of humor is why one of my students describe this class as "Loving."

My second resolution is to pay better attention. I want to harness my focus on what I am doing to be more mindful and present. I also believe that paying better attention will help me laugh more often. Some of the funniest jokes and quips from observations about our humanity. Take for example this video entitled "Golf Stereotypes." 

It is remarkably funny for those who play golf, because I know (and you will too) every single on of these stereotypes on the course. I even know which one I think my friends will say is me. It's easy (and fun) to laugh at others. It's equally important to laugh at oneself. NB: If you have not seen this yet and/or the one on pick-up basketball (if you play) posted above, stop reading and watch. 

Martin affirms this is a good thing about our nature. One that we share with the Lord. He writes, "If we believe that Jesus is fully human, as our theology tells us, then that means he had a sense of humor. You cannot be fully human without a sense of humor. That’s a robot, not a human being."

He adds, I believe God has a great sense of humor. Sometimes he gives you something like a nudge and says, Don’t take yourself so seriously! Humor is in fact an essential element in the mirth of creation. We can see how, in many matters in our lives, God wants to prod us into taking things a bit more lightly; to see the funny side of it; to get down off our pedestal and not to forget our sense of fun."

Some of the people I admire most are able to laugh often and much. It's one thing to be funny, it's another to find humor in everyday life. And I believe it's too important not to look for. That's why I'm going to pay more attention in 2015 for joy, humor and laughter.

"Notable" New Year's Resolutions: More Parade Vibe

Like that proverbial path to hell, the road to New Year's resolutions is paved with good intentions. -Catherine Bigelow

I am a big fan of resolutions. I scoff at the aforementioned words from the San Francisco Chronicle. When I set resolutions—I mean business. And as much as I delight in making resolutions—sometimes as many as five, I enjoy hearing what others have committed to in the year ahead. Two of my favorites include one from a coworker who has resolved to drink more. That’s not something you hear often! I support her quest; she is a lot more fun after she’s put back a few (I am too). And the other? A friend plans on spending more time in the hot tub. Here here!

As the clock drew closer to midnight on New Year’s Eve, something was remiss. I was without my 2011 New Years’ resolution. I contrived a few—to read at least five classics in literature—but nothing significant or meaningful came to mind. I asked myself would this be a year without a resolution?

I thought about what was reported in the article Bay Area Notables Share New Year's Resolutions. The only “notable” of interest to me was Larry Baer. This fourth-generation San Franciscan who is president of the San Francisco Giants wants more parade vibe (more cow bell?)

"If there is a way to harness the love, energy and spirit from the November 3, 2010 World Series Victory Parade and infuse it into daily life in our communities, that would be my wish."

"May the interim mayor (unknown), the newly elected governor (well known) & our president tap into that same optimism & spirit from diverse communities everywhere to influence positive change in challenging times. And in 2011, may our 'Local Nine' continue to bring smiles to those less fortunate and most in need."

That parade was completely magical. San Francisco is never, repeat never, warm enough for me. But the sunny skies, the love and positivity made the city radiate with warmth that I too wish could be in this community day after day.

Yet what still strikes me as unreal is that the parade took place on my brother Mark’s 40th birthday. Mark lives, breathes and dies Giants baseball; he has followed this team with his heart and soul his whole life. And I know for a fact he had dreams of a parade as a child; he made me very nervous when he started predicting his vision of the parade after the first NLCS win. He has also endured one hell of a year. Every member of my family has offered to carry his cross. But just as God extended a rainbow as a sign of God’s covenant, I believe that parade was my brother’s rainbow, dove and olive branch. God keeps God’s promise. And thank you to those “local nine" plus for making sure that parade happened. Talk about the ultimate birthday!

As much as I appreciated Baer’s resolution and a few others, I remained a girl without a resolution. I looked at what, if anything the “notables” cited in common. But the ongoing use of that term “notable” got in my way. That was a new one to me. When and how does someone become “notable?” Are "notables" aware of their status?

And then I began to realize the idea of “notable” isn’t that unfamiliar to me. The Catholic Church is full of designations for holy men and women: saints, Doctors of the Church, venerable, blessed, monsignor, cardinal, etc. “Catholic notables” might not be that far off; I readily constructed a list of them. Some intriguing entries might include James Martin, SJ, Benedict XVI, Bono, Mary Anne Glendon, Jim Caviezel, several of the Supreme Court Justices and more.

Yet as I contrived a mental inventory, I remembered today is the Feast of the Solemnity of Mary. Is the Mother of God, not the most notable of all Catholics? What might Mary declare as her New Year’s resolution? This was difficult for me to answer. I know what she would ask me to do this year—pray the Rosary, receive the sacraments, pray for peace & the conversion of souls—but What would Mary do?

And with that question came my resolution. I decided that one of my resolutions would be to take to prayer the mind of Mary. What does she ask God for? What might Mary resolve to renew? How can I be more like Mary? How can I think and act more like her?

Like all of my good resolutions, inevitably one leads to another. I started to think about Joseph—the silent saint. Bringing silence to prayer is something I strive to make it a habit. Friar Jack Wintz, O.F.M.says "One of the richest forms of prayer can occur when the heart is absolutely quiet. As the psalmist says, "Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10)." It’s something I practice on retreat but can be very challenging in my daily lives. I hope to be more like St. Joseph in this way in 2011.

I am grateful that the "notables" in the San Francisco Bay Area and the Catholic Church have hopes that this new year will be better. Let's keep the parade vibe going and Brian Wilson, if you read this, an interview with you is my third and final resolution. Call me!

Photo Credits
New Year's Resolution
Larry Baer
Parade
Mary, Mother of God

My New Year’s Resolution: Rub Some Dirt On It.

A new year, a new decade; this is a welcome thing for Notre Dame Football. Legends, a popular university owned and operated restaurant and ale house is an ND sports fan's paradise. Along the perimeter of the pub is a time ine that chronicles the success of Notre Dame athletic history with the inception of its football team in 1887. It’s a thrill to take that walk around the restaurant and note Notre Dame’s accomplishments, particularly in football: 11* National Championships, 7 Heisman trophy winners, some legendary coaches and a striking number of All-Americans over 100+ years. When you arrive at the decade we just left however—the ’00s, apart a victory in the 2009 Hawaii Bowl to end the NCAA's record nine-game bowl losing streak, Notre Dame Football is painfully M.I.A.

True, during this time the Irish flourished in other sports such as soccer and hockey and reached new heights in women's' sports, my favorite being the 2001 women’s basketball NCAA Championship, but my recommendation on this New Year’s Day is to look back upon that decade and do as my resolution suggests—rub some dirt on it.

Football has a lexicon of its own—the gridiron, first down, and in the words of every other NFL player, “it is what it is.” Perhaps one of its lesser known but more colorful phrases is to "rub some dirt on it." A player would tell a teammate to do this after a failed attempt or a missed hit. It is synonymous with to “shake it off” or to “move on.” I also hope to take this expression and apply it to my own life.

Being a Christian means I am asked to respond to the challenge and call of the Gospel. Jesus’ teachings were countercultural, even in His day. Living in an increasingly secular place, this is no easy task. I am amazed and how often I am criticized, even attacked for what the Catholic faith may ask of me. More often than not, people offer their charged personal views and ask questions of me about the church’s teachings that they do not want answered. What people may not realize however is that I take their criticisms to heart. If someone has been hurt by a negative experience in the church, I cannot help but take that personally. However, this year, I have decided that when someone launches an unsolicited criticism on what I hold as sacred, and they typically do so at an inappropriate time e.g. in a bar or during a nice dinner, I just need to “rub some dirt on it.”

I am not the sole defender of the faith, nor do I want to be. I try to keep my faith front and center of my life but this is exceedingly difficult. Fortunately, my family members, friends and mentors nurture my faith and are willing to partake in the effort required to build it. Attacks on Christianity or assaults on the Catholic Church aren’t going away (and I’ve had my own!) so this year when they do occur, I hope to remember the wisdom St. Francis who said "Preach the Gospel at all times. When necessary, use words." In 2010 and beyond, I hope that the example of my life will serve as an answer to their questions, a counter to their criticism and if it don't, let's all just "rub some dirt on it."

*stands for the 1993 National Championship that was robbed from Notre Dame by Florida State. Despite the fact ND beat FSU during the regular season, the BCS gave Bobby Bowden his title and declared FSU #1.

**I cannot write this posting without recognizing two former students. Thanks to Alex for sharing with me, 4 years ago now, the goodness that is Peyton Manning. Alex, you know where it lives. And to Roy, what you declared about your beliefs (and your family's) during your Faith Stance your senior year took a tremendous amount of courage. I know you bring that same courage to the LAX field at Cornell.

Photo Credits
Irish Win
Manning
Banner