What Losing Does to Me....Thoughts on Notre Dame vs. Texas

On Sunday September 4, 2016 Notre Dame lost to Texas 50-47, in a game that went into double overtime. The Fightin' Irish, ranked number ten in the nation were were 4.5 point favorites over the Longhorns—in their house. Just last year, in another Labor Day weekend showdown, the Irish came out of the gate with gusto, defeating UT 38-3. Though that game ended the season for Irish running back and starter Tarean Folston, the 2015 season looked very promising. 

Today, even two days removed, I found myself still upset about the outcome of the 2016 meet-up. Certain encounters at work left me irrationally angry or frustrated. Though I have written about winning and losing, and in particular why losing hurts, I needed to make sense of my sentiments. So, here are but a few additional insights and take-aways....that I hope you can either a) relate to b) forgive me for holding or c) pass along to therapist near me. 

Nuances are important
I will admit, Sunday's contest was an exciting game. I would not however say it was a great game. I saw TONS of holes on both sides of the ball (by both teams) and a whole lot of mistakes and missed opportunities. Granted it's not October and we're not in full stride, so I should be kind...but I need to be honest, too.

So what can one say? How should a football fan talk about a game like that one?. I'm still not a fan of the pity party, but a number of people did offer a humble and sincere "sorry about the loss." It's the best thing they could say. Many of those who offered these simple words of consolation "get it." It helps....thank you.

Consider Timing.
A co-worker decided he would share for me that he lost his passion for Notre Dame football. Consequently, the loss didn't upset him in the way it once had or...remotely in the way I was feeling. I understand that our interests and passions change. For example, thirty years ago I would be glued to the TV right now watching the US Open. Tennis under the lights in New York really is electric. Today, I check in for but a few matches at best. 

But, the conversation he started is worth having at another time and in another place. The guy is smart and knows a ton about football.  He also knows that I am irrationally passionate and/or dedicated to my alma mater. I would have sincerely appreciated any of his thoughts on what he did observe or notice....not that his psyche wasn't the least bit crushed. #narcissist. 

Did I mention the Irish came back from an 17 point deficit in the 3rd quarter? AGH!

Never add insult to injury.
What may have been worse, is that another co-worker—generously listening to this strange conversation—(may?) have tried to relate to my colleague by telling him "you're a father now. That's what happens when you become a parent." Though I understand the message he intended to pass along, again my irrational anger and frustration did not leave me listening kindly. I started to wonder if he and I were inhabiting the same planet. Is this what parenthood does to adults? It makes them not care about sports? about their favorite teams? Maybe....but clearly he hasn't been to South Bend....or to any SEC stadium....#jackass

Be careful of the voices you listen to.
After a loss, it's important to debrief with people you know, trust and respect. Personally, I seek out those who I know a) care about my team—genuinely care about Notre Dame and b) know something about football. 

If you did not watch the game—and I've heard these people spew their venom—please refrain from polluting the airwaves. If you don't know much about football and what makes a good team work, keep your insights and words brief. A wise person knows what he/she does not know.

For those that do know—thank you for your time. I want to hear your thoughts on why our defense does not tackle and hear your thoughts on our defensive coordinator, Brian Van Gorder. I want to sing the praises of DeShone Kizer all day. Do you agree that if Torii Hunter, Jr. hadn't taken that hit in the end zone that we would have won the game? Do you miss Jaylon Smith and Will Fuller as much as I do? What do you think of Brian Kelly's play calling?

Griping and whining just doesn't assuage the irrational frustration and anger. Unpacking, reviewing, reconsidering and next steps does...a little.

Never Be That Person
I have always believed you can learn as much from the example of who you do not want to be as the person you do. 

There are teams and college programs that I despise. I have little to no respect for their program, their coaches, what they stand for and so on. As strong as those feelings are for me to share (and admit), I would not tell an alum from that institution in the way I hear those sentiments said to me about Notre Dame from time to time.

For example, someone said "I never cheer for Texas but since they're playing Notre Dame, I am now."  I suppose a charged statement like that beckons a glaring retort. I just don't want to be that person. Either one.

Be that Person
But who I do want to be isn't without a gentle internal reminder and peronal exercise in generosity. I have to remind myself—because it's not easy —that after a tough loss, I want to be a fan who takes the higher road. I want to reach out to Texas fans and say "exciting game, Congratulations." (Notice I didn't say great game). 

I was able to share that I am genuinely happy that their program seems to be on the up-and-up. I think they deserve to be ranked. I respect their coach, Charlie Strong. I sincerely wish him well and think he's good for the game. When you lose, it's easy to hang your head. Instead, look up and look at the winners in the eye. It's not an easy pill to swallow. You may have to fake it till you make it, but it's the right thing and the right way to be.

A very small part of me wishes I didn't care so much....but I do. It's in my DNA. Ask any Stricherz around. The cost of caring is that when you lose—at times when it matters A LOT e.g. against Stanford at the last regular game of the season or a lot, e.g. the season opener—there's a price you pay (one of my favorite Springsteen songs). Your emotions play with you, and it's not easy. But....being a fan of a team and a program like Notre Dame means there are many more stories to tell. And, not all of them end this way. Grateful for the many I've had and all those to come.

And our hearts forever......

Photo Credits
DeShone
Torii
Texas Wins
Fans

Will Fuller: It's Not You, It's Me

All day I have been feeling as though I got dumped. I was in denial that he might leave. There were rumors. I should have known better and today it was made public: Will Fuller will forgo his senior year at Notre Dame for the NFL draft.

I wrote those words on Sunday, January 3 minutes after reading via Twitter about wide receiver, #7 Will Fuller. Like any break-up, it hurts. I asked myself What went wrong? I found myself wondering Could things have been different? I did a mental inventory and what I read confirmed that I wasn't totally delusional; I had some reason for thinking differently.

Fuller told reporters in early November that he would return to Notre Dame for the 2016 season. 

I paid less attention to the second part of that report: 

...however, the junior reevaluated and said after the football banquet on Dec. 11 that he was keeping his options open.

Fuller earned the highest award from his teammates at the end-of-season awards banquet. He received the Most Valuable Player honor.

I loved what Coach Kelly had to say about him that evening

"What changed for us as we look at great players through the years is when the moment was great, he stepped up," head coach Brian Kelly said. "When we needed that big play … he steps up and makes those huge plays."

Fuller caught 56 passes for 1,145 yards and 13 touchdown receptions in 12 regular season games. He earned second-team All-American honors from Sports Illustrated, CBS Sports and USA Today.

Will Fuller was a joy to watch as our wide receiver. Not a man of many words, he let his feet do all of the talking. As written in "How Will Fuller is keeping Notre Dame in the playoff hunt; Week 5 Walkthrough," Brian Hamilton writes:

We know now that Will Fuller is really fast, and we also know why he is maybe the best receiver in the country: Because he never thought he was fast, which prompted him to rely on painstaking technique and route-running, which now equips the Fighting Irish’s junior star with topflight instincts to complement world-class speed that emerged once he arrived on campus.

Someone once told me the reason to see LeBron James play live is that one cannot tell just how quickly he gets down the court on television. To be a witness, live and in person is much different. I felt that way when I saw Fuller play three times this season.

At the Fiesta Bowl, Fuller scored on an 81-yard touchdown pass in the fourth quarter. From where I was sitting, I could clearly see that two Buckeyes had the angle to catch and tackle Fuller. But what transpired was something different. Fuller locked into a second and then a third gear. Explosive speed. It was a true highlight for Irish fans at the game. Speed that fast and furious makes you go "wow."

Notre Dame fans were able to say that many times this season. I remember at one game-watch a fan quipped "there's our best player we have—do whatever you can to get it to Will Fuller." With a 10-2 record, Kizer did so often.

At one point, Fuller told Kizer he wanted 5...as in touch downs. Bring it.

But Fuller wants to be known for more than just his wheels. If you are interested in the mechanics of a great athlete, the SI article by Hamilton offers more insight.

“You can be the fastest guy in the world, but if you don’t know how to beat a defender, he can slow you down,” Fuller says. “There are a lot of guys out there who don’t know how to turn a defender around, to use him to give yourself an advantage. There are a lot of things I do other than just running fast.”Fuller’s straight-line speed is dangerous. The repertoire of receiver tricks he’s compiled over the years compounds the peril. 

There are the simple ones, such as “stacking” the defensive back: If he can get a clean release off press coverage, Fuller moves his body so that the defender is completely behind him instead of alongside him. This gives the quarterback multiple options for delivering a pass and limits the cornerback’s chances to get to any of them. 

That, again, is basic curriculum. “Something you learn in high school,” Fuller says. He has moved now to advanced stuff, like inverting the dynamic between cornerback and receiver. On a go-route, Fuller knows the defensive back, almost always, will aim to get his hands on a receiver to stifle forward motion. But Fuller holds his line and more or less invites the contact, so he can smack down on those hands as he peels off the cornerback’s hip. What appears like separation due to incredible acceleration can be, essentially, an optical illusion. “When he puts his hand out, you grab his hand and throw it by you,” Fuller says. “He’s slowing down. You’re continuing to go faster.”

It never got old seeing Will Fuller go faster. In fact, according to Irish 24/7

The 6-foot, 184-pound junior leaves Notre Dame second in touchdown receptions (30) in program history behind Michael Floyd. Fuller snared 62 receptions for 1,258 yards and 14 touchdowns in 2015, following up a breakout sophomore campaign that included 76 receptions for 1,094 yards and 15 touchdowns. No other player in program history recorded more touchdown receptions in two seasons than Fuller (29).  

Hamilton's article adds,

“He does it in practice, but what he does in the game is really something to see,” Brown says. “He’s that type of fast where he’s running, he’s full speed, he’s running pretty fast…but when he looks back for the ball, there’s something about it that he can reach for another gear. He flies in the games. I don’t know what it is.”

I don't know what it is that makes an elite student-athlete stay in college for all four years these days. I know with the chance for injury, the smart bet is to turn professional and make the money. But another part of me thinks, Why are you playing at a school like Notre Dame if you're not planning on earning the degree? Fuller shared via social media that he was pursuing his dream of playing in the NFL. I have no doubt that it true. But at the same time, Notre Dame fans want to believe our athletes are special because they both want the degree and they want to play. Good, bad, or otherwise, we always think we are different; yes, we think we are special.

Fuller is not the first and certainly not the last to turn pro early. Some of the greats have left us too soon—Jerome Bettis, Raghib "the Rocket" Ismail, Tom Carter, Golden Tate, Kyle Rudolph. And his classmates Kevare Rusell and CJ Prosise have followed suit in the past three days. It's apparent that the men who start for three years, mentally, are ready to go into the pros. (And a few come back to finish their degree. Rickie Watters made news in the last few years when he returned to campus in the summer months to earn his BA in architecture). But the loss of some of these guys hurts more than others. Some break-ups do too. 

I have been reminded this season, largely because of the Showtime series "A Season with Notre Dame Football" is that you enter into a relationship with a team. Team 127 had its own characteristics, gifts, and qualities that made them a joy to watch a group I was eager to cheer for. When folks opt out of that group, one that is special in the way they are, you can't help but feel a loss. Their impact is real. They color each Saturday in a unique way. They bring us joy and we stand with them in the agony of defeat (Clemson, Stanford).

A lot of people do not understand football. Why does it have a near religious following? The movie "Concussion" provided me with an answer. "It's a violent, mindless game. And then it's Shakespeare." Will Fuller was a brilliant actor in the play. While so many of today's athletes are flashy and in your face, Fuller was grace on the gridiron.

Anyone who has been through a break-up has heard "It's not you, it's me." It's almost comical because it's cliche and too often it rings hollow. This is where my analogy to a break-up must conclude. Notre Dame must do what it can to prepare its students for using one's gifts and talents. And ND gave Will Fuller and a platform where others can appreciate them. He will make a living do so and the Irish faithful will delight in seeing him do that. But come September, we'll still miss him. 

Photo Credits
Head Shot

With Kizer