Lessons in Cultural Anthropology

My good friend claims to be a cultural anthropologist. She takes great pride in her identity. I don't blame her. To me, the study of "humans and their cultural, social, biological, and environmental aspects of life in the past and the present" is utterly fascinating. And the best part about being a cultural anthropologist is that it will allow you to meet a lot of people, attend innumerous events, travel to unsuspecting places and ask all kinds of questions—all in the name of this social science.

To the surprise of no one, Taylor Swift was named TIME's person of the year. No one, right? I imagine Karen will read the article for its cultural anthropology 101. In October, she asked me go with her to see the Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour documentary. I was a little surprised she wanted to go. I shouldn't have been. 

I saw it opening weekend and she went later with her niece—expensing it in the name of cultural anthropology. While her husband questioned the need to do that, I loved it. It was a raging celebration of  love and friendship bringing together women, girls and even a few "girl-dads" all summer long. I need to ask Karen about the conclusions she came to after watching the show. No doubt they justify the price per ticket.

Looking through this world through the lens of cultural anthropology makes life infinitely more interesting. In a way, cultural anthropology is liberating. One can observe, take note, and enjoy it all in the name of curiosity. From time to time, I feel that I can only give my time to events or causes aligned with my passions or my values. However the field of cultural anthropology allows one to expand their horizons.

Following the second gathering of the SI bowling club on Monday night, the club leader and I sat down for a few moments to catch up and watch members of the bowling league compete against one another. Every single one of them had their own ball, their own bag and approach to the game. Their style and speed...and their scores were fascinating. Not a single game was under 200. 

The next day, I mentioned this to a colleague who I know likes to bowl. She said "oh yeah, Monday night leagues are usually a lot of football fans." I said, "that's exactly right. I saw tons of Niner gear." She added "I bet the game was on. That's a drinking crowd, too." Without being at Classic Bowling Lanes, my co-worker described perfectly who was in the house. I walked away from our conversation thinking two things: One: I'm sure every sports league in America has its own subculture. I have seen Dude Perfect capitalize on their groups and make them into humor "stereotype" videos. They're only funny because they are so accurate. Two: I honestly started thinking about how good of a bowler Niner running back Christian McCaffrey probably is.

Will cultural anthropologists study bowling leagues hundreds or thousands of years from now? Probably not—but they will consider how human beings take leisure find ways to play.

Ted Lasso popularized the quote written by Walt Whitman, "be curious, not judgmental." To become a cultural anthropologist—for work, pleasure or both is to live the spirit of this motto and more. 

Photo Credits
Niner Bowling
Bowling League
TIME

Four on Three: The Only Way Is Through.

If I see the neon light tunnel of Chicago's O'Hare airport when I leave this life and pass to the next, I may ask to turn around. In many ways, it has been my personal hell. I can't tell you how many times I have run through this passageway in a panic. 

It is a liminal space—a cold one. One that offers little to no auditory comfort. How many times must we hear, "the moving walkway is ending." Repeat, "the moving walkway is ending." And yet, one of my personal mottos was born from this very space. 

I believe: The only way is through. 

I say this to myself anytime I take on something difficult or demanding. Whether it is a physical, emotional, or spiritual challenge, I find comfort in this motto. 

Letting go. Moving on. Ending something. A medical procedure or treatment. Grading 100 papers. Running a race. A necessary conversation. The only way is through. 

We have to pass through places and spaces that are tough. We want short cuts, easy ways out, and even an alternative route. I am great at rationalizing the need for a another path. I can easily make an argument for an alternative method. But in my heart of hearts, eventually I come to accept: the only way is through.

Ted Lasso fans got a glimpse of this motto through the top player on the team, AFC Richmond's striker, Jamie Tartt. He said “If you want this to work, you have to stop going to me and start playing through me.” This scene might have been the climax of Episode 7; The Strings that Bind Us. 

At half time, Tartt stepped forward to share his realization in order for "Total Football" to work. After offending everyone in the locker room, he came to the drawing board to speak the truth. Upon centering himself in front of the diagram, his teammates and coaches stepped up and in. Tartt turned around to see them listening and shared his idea. It showed them the way. Not to....but through.

His insight was so moving that his teammate, Danny Rojas proclaimed "And there it is! Numero quatro! Sacrifice! Putting aside personal glory on behalf of the team." 

Without batting an eye, Ted said "I like that, but it ain't number four."

While Jamie Tartt's speech speaks to selflessness—a necessity among individuals on a team sport—the motto of "through, not to" speaks to something different.

To me, to go through takes gumption and commitment. I think of putting my head down and grinding it out. This is not the time or space to seek an assist. It's about getting from point A to B....and not C, D or Z. Perhaps a motto is just one tool that can help.

I think there is a mystical truth to this motto that I don't have the words to express. Instead, they are something—like "Number Four" for Ted Lasso and AFC Richmond—that I will seek to uncover (not discover).

Hands in. Huddle Up. Four on Three: one! two! three! Together: four!

Photo credits
Light Tunnel
Coaches

BELIEVE! The Ted Lasso Effect: Carol of the Bells Discussion Guide

It's the holiday season and my neighbors have a red glitter sign posted on their front door. It says "BELIEVE." I immediately think of...Ted Lasso

I admitted this to a friend—a mom of two young children and a Ted fan. "That's about Santa Clause!" she cried. "I know...I know," I said. "Must be the Ted Lasso effect."Maybe you understand. 

Do you find yourself saying "Oi!" I do, especially when I miss a 3 foot putt. That's the Roy Kent effect. Do you think some look like one of the show's characters? I have a dead ringer for Jamie Tartt, in personality too! I another for Dani Rojas."Football IS life," right? Has Ted Lasso increased your interest in the World Cup? If you have answered "yes" to any of these questions, you might be wondering how you too can bring the Ted Lasso effect into the Christmas season? What might it take to help others really "BELIEVE?" Here's my suggestion: Bring friends and family together to watch Season 4, Episode 2: Carol of the Bells. Your discussion guide is below.

"God Bless Me, Everyone." —Jamie Tartt

The holiday season is back but not at the speed it once was. Between COVID concerns and inflation, some party hosts are opting to pass. But this is a fun way to gather for drinks,  discussion and good holiday cheer. Guests need not wear their favorite soccer jersey nor do they need to have seen prior episodes. This one can stand alone.

The IMDB's plot summary says: "It's Christmas in Richmond. Rebecca enlists Ted for a secret mission, Roy and Keeley search for a miracle and the Higginses open up their home."

Begin with the entry level questions. These are questions that are low stakes and easy to talk about. The show doesn't have the complexity, character development or depth of the other episodes, but that doesn't mean you can't add that to the discussion.

Christmas in August

• This episode was released on August 12. When do you start celebrating the Christmas season? 
• Do you have any personal rules as what and when you engage in "the most wonderful time of the year? e.g. the day after Thanksgiving? November 15? Not until two weeks before Christmas do any lights go up? etc.

The Gift of Music

• When is the last time you went Christmas caroling?
• What are songs of the season that are meaningful for you?
• This song lists two of my favorite Christmas songs—"Little Saint Nick" by the Beach Boys and "Fairytale of New York" by The Pogues (which brings me to tears for some reason). What is your favorite Christmas hit?

So many Christmas Movies!

• This episode references Love Actually, Once, It’s a Wonderful Life and a Christmas Story. Do you have a favorite Christmas story or movie?
• Is there a Christmas movie you watch every year?

The next set of questions pertain to Ted Lasso as a series. 

Friendship is an important theme—one that is demonstrated among several different characters. Friendship is portrayed in a very positive light between Ted and Coach Beard, Keely and Miranda and among teammates.

• What do you want to see in a Hollywood friendship?
• Take that idea of watching something on a screen (from a distance): What have you learned from the friendships that your parents have? Your siblings have? Your spouse? Your children? 
• What have you learned about yourself in the friendships that you have?
• In the essay "For the Love of the Game," Richard Gaillardetz writes Perhaps the only other human bond of communion that can match that between teammates is among soldiers. Many athletes will speak years later of the powerful bonds created among team members who spent hours each day in training, honing their skills and learning how to work cooperatively with one another as a seamless, efficient unit. We must not underestimate the strength of this bond. Describe some of the friendships you have made through sport. How would you. characterize those friendships?

Positivity is a quality that first drew fans to the showed. Launched during COVID, we needed examples of positivity, in spite of our struggles. Ted was one answer.

• Think of a positive person you know/are close to…
• How do they do it?
• What do they do?
  
• Is this something you work on? Need to work on?

The episode is but 30 minutes long. The discussion can last as long as you want. Maybe you will add your own question or comment. For example, I love how Lesley Hingiss addresses every athlete at his table. He said "To you and all your families back in Lagos, Guadalajara, Groningen, Cordon, Montreal, Benin City, Harare, Kingston... and Santa Cruz de la Sierra. Happy Christmas." I always remember where a person is from; I loved that he nailed every locale. In him, I have a kindred spirit. 

Out of COVID, I think we learned to not take the opportunity to come together for granted. And yet, the hectic schedules and busy time of the holiday season make that difficult for many of us. I hope this post might serve as an impetus to do so—to grow more positive and to help one another BELIEVE. Oi yeah!

NB: 1) This discussion guide was used with a group of woman during a breakout session on a retreat. 2) This episode has some adult language and content; it is not appropriate for children of a certain age.

Photo Credits
Miranda and Ted
Jamie Tartt
Singing

The Importance for Coaches of being Ted Lasso

Everything I know about morality and the obligations of humanity, I owe it to football 
—Albert Casmus (*he is referring to soccer ;-)

In my workplace, the athletics office of Saint Francis High School, we hope and believe every coach ought to challenge Casmus and say "Everything I know about morality and the obligations of humanity, I owe to—insert respective sport here." However, with all due respect to the late Alex Trebeck, please know there is a bette answer. "What is Ted Lasso?"

Those of you who have watched the show already know that Ted Lasso is not a real person. As much as I am struggling to accept this is true, I am still committed to learning from him. And for those who haven't seen the Apple TV+ program, "Ted Lasso" chronicles an American football coach recruited from the Wichita State Shockers to manage a woebegone soccer club in the English Premier League.

As written in the Wall Street Journal "To be Ted Lasso is to believe things will get better—and if it doesn't, well, he'll have some fun trying. You know where this is going. Over time, Ted begins to win over even his harshest critics. Lasso-mania stirs." The author, Jason Gay adds, "Ted Lasso" turns out to be the ideal television distraction for these times, almost a salve, simply for the fact that it radiates a rare commodity in a deeply toxic moment: optimism.That's really it. It's optimistic."

Easier said than done, right? Yes and No. In Episode 10, "The Hope that Kills You" Lasso addresses the danger of this phrase that his athletes use far too often. In the locker room he said, "So I've been hearing a phrase y'll got over here, that I'm not to crazy about: It's the hope that kills you. I disagree. I think it's the lack of hope that comes and gets you. I believe in belief. Now where I'm from, we have a saying or actually, it's a question: Do you believe in miracles?  I encourage you to watch to get the rest....

For those struggling to believe in miracles and for our colleagues who are struggling to find hope, I would like to offer the message that Saint Francis' Director of Athletics, Michael Pilawski gave this past week during a meeting of our varsity coaches. He urged these athletic leaders to practice, emphasize, extend and model the following for the young people entrusted to our care. Ted would be proud.

Safety: We will always give the utmost care and attention to keep our athletes safe.

Empathy: People are in different places and are facing personal and familial challenges we may or may not know about. Walking a mile in our athletes cleats can go a long way.

Success: We want our seasons to happen! We desire for our teams to compete. As coaches we play a critical part in the success of our season and our team's experience. Own it!

Flexibility: This is my personal theme for this year. We have to be flexible and open to the changes that come our way. Be water, my friend.

Positivity: Times are tough enough. We are called to be hope for the hopeless and light in the darkness. Let us smile and extend positivity to one another. Let us focus on what we can do.

Coaches, I would love to know

• What stands out to you about Ted Lasso and his coaching philosophy: believe!
• How has he challenged, changed and constructed a new culture in Richmond?
• How is weakness his strength? And strength his weakness? 
• Would you do the running man inside a huddle with your players if you won the title?

I'm so glad I saved Ted for January—my annual comedy month. My roommate checked to see if I was okay during Episode 3 as I was laughing so hard. Many other episodes have had me in tears—and not from laughing. I am not even a soccer fan, but I am curious about the culture of the Premier League. Ted Lasso MIGHT be my favorite show. Ever. And the good news is there is more to come....

Haley and I discuss the gift of humor, in particular how Ted Lasso made me laugh. You can listen to that episode of @FaithFondue here.

Photo Credits
TV Show photo
Pointing
Ted and Coach Beard