Manti Te'o: Living Legend

What can I say about Heisman hopeful Manti Te’o that hasn’t already been said? Even the most devout ND fan will admit this team would not be 12-0 without him. His journey from Hawaii to South Bend and now from Notre Dame to Miami for the BCS title game has put him on a regional cover of Sports Illustrated and his team on the national cover for the first time since Sept. 30, 2002, (an issue that featured receiver Maurice Stovall after a win at Michigan State). The paradox of his season—tremendous personal loss amidst win after win, week after week is but a part of this story.  What is there to say about Manti Te’o (other than a pronunciation key—it’s man-tie).  It’s what NFL Hall of Fame Tight End Dave Casper said about him—he’s a living legend.

I attended a breakfast of past-presidents of the San Francisco Notre Dame AlumniClub. We met to discuss ways to keep alumni involved and increase outreach. But, it’s hard not to discuss Notre Dame football, especially when you have a team with an undefeated season. Casper, a member of the ’73 National Championship team that beat Alabama, joined this meeting/roast and said something I had not considered.  “The University hasn’t had an athlete this beloved by the students and alumni in years. He’s already a legend.” When a man who is a legend himself confers that to another player, it’s hard not to listen.

I was then reminded of what my friend Mike Caponigro ‘90, co-creator of the “Catholics vs. Convicts” T-shirt told me.   “Te’o might be my favorite player of all time.” At the time, I thought he was gushing.  And then I realized he wasn’t; nor are the hundreds of other people I have heard this from.

So what would I like to say about this living legend? 

I love his spirit.  It’s hard not to when I read “if Te’o sees a student sitting alone at dinner, he’ll invite him to his table.”  At 6’2, 225 pounds, I’m not sure I would could “no” to such an invitation. And considering that he is now the most widely recognized student on campus I wouldn’t want to.  But this gesture is both so simple and so rare.  As a member of a school community, I know this happens too often.  Students sincerely and deeply appreciate the student who is able to extend hospitality to a stranger, who can make a peer feel included. 

For Manti, this may be second nature.  He is also known for greeting everyone—cooks, walk-ons and dorm neighbors—by name, but I also have no doubt that same spirit has translated to the chemistry this team has on the field, yielding 12 wins.

I love his spirituality. Named after a warrior in The Book of Mormon, it’s no secret that Manti is committed to his faith—one that is fairly different than the traditional Catholic roots of Notre Dame.  Regardless, it’s hard not to be inspired by his deep love for God and comfort in speaking about what that relationship means to him. 

For one, it’s what brought him to Notre Dame.  In a recent interview entitled “Committed to Excellence: Manti and Skylar” Te’o told Kate Sullivan what it was about Notre Dame that made him choose it.   He said

To be honest, I had to pray about it. I grew up a USC fan—a die-hard USC fan.  All the way up to the day before signing day I was going to go to with USC.  But I sat down and I prayed about it.  Things just started to happen and everything started to point to ND. 

I learned being young and from my parents that whenever you are looking for an answer to a question, and you ask the Lord—the hardest part is not praying, the hardest part is taking whatever answer He gives you…and going through with it. 

Obviously going to Notre Dame wasn’t the answer I wanted but it was the answer that I was given. It was a leap of faith for me.  Now that I’m here, I’m with Skylar Diggins (there’s that spirit!) 

And that leap of faith proved to be a source of great comfort. As reported in “The Full Manti” “On September 12, three days before Notre Dame played Michigan State,  the parents of Fighting Irish linebacker Manti Te’o woke him up with a 7 a.m. phone call from Hawaii: His grandmother, 72-year old Annette Santiago had died of natural causes.  Six hours later, while standing at his locker, Te’o got a call from his girlfriend’s older brother, Koa, who sobbed, “she’s gone.”  At the age of 22, Lennay Kekua died of leukemia. In response to the outpouring of love and support from Notre Dame, Manti mustered the strength to address his fans at the pep rally before the Michigan game (a week after the MSU game). He said, 

Four years ago, I made a decision to come here and I don’t really know why. Times like these I know why.  I love and each everyone of you and I can’t thank you enough for all the love.

For all the love you have shown me and my family. I would like to thank my brothers you see standing behind me—my coaches, and the man upstairs. 

We don’t know His plan for all of us but I know one thing for sure: I know I will see them again.  I have faith and I find peace knowing I will spend the next life with them.  I love you guys. Go Irish!

Notre Dame faithful are hoping that Saturday will be the first numerical change to “a sacred pairing.”  With seven Heisman trophy winners and eleven national championships to its name, I will gladly switch 7-11 to 8-12. And it’s fitting, because that’s just a small piece of what legends do—they make small changes seem big and big changes seem small. They bring the joy to the “joyful anticipation” of this season. They say “hello” and “I love you” with the same ease and sincerity. Thank you, Manti, for being you.

Photo Credits
Manti and Sky
SI Cover
#1
Te'o and Toma
Dave Casper

Sportsmanship 101: Fundamental of the Game

I hated seeing the Notre Dame Women’s basketball team lose the National Championship to Texas A&M. But, I am more upset that Skylar Diggins, sophomore guard of the Lady Irish left the floor without shaking hands with the Aggies.

As point guard, Diggins has considerable power on the court. She is the offensive orchestrator, creates plays and drives the ball. And yet this tourney revealed that her social power is significant. Through social media like Twitter, her own personal blog and photogenic self, Diggins became the face of the team. This dual axis of power reminds me of the now overused but truthful line from Spiderman: “with great power comes great responsibility.”

Diggins had a responsibility as a leader on her team to acknowledge the feat of her opponents with class and composure. As a member of a university that seeks to cultivate in its students…an appreciation for the great achievements of human beings, she had a duty represent its mission. Who would want to say, “We are ND” after that?

No one will second-guess that Diggins wants great responsibility during the game. Undoubtedly, she was upset because she had a costly turnover late in the game. But it’s no excuse for her behavior. Sportsmanship 101 dictates thanking and congratulating your teammates and opponents despite the outcome. You may disagree, but as an athlete, coach and sports fan, I believe good sportsmanship is as fundamental to the game as passing, dribbling and shooting. In the same way that those skills are tested at the high level during a national championship game, so is sportsmanship.

I watch a lot of high school basketball games. Believe it or not, on of my favorite moments is just after the game is when players line up single file and shake hands with the opposing team. It may seem like a useless formality but I think this ritual reveals a whole lot. I believe it’s a snap shot that captures not only what just took place on the hardwood, but the character of a team and of each player.

For some athletes, this is the last thing they want to do. They may remain angry or upset by how they were treated, pushed or hit during a game. It may be a challenge to look at your opponent to say “good game” or “thanks” when temperatures are still high. Amazingly though, many do. I love to watch the moment when an opposing coach congratulates a player who has been double-teamed the entire game. Both parties know the challenge that was placed or taken. To me, the sign of ultimate respect is when these two exchange a hug.

Never was I more proud of my former student, Varsity boys’ captain and SF All-City team player of the year Johnny Mrlik than after the St. Ignatius WCAL league playoff loss to Bellarmine. SI could have and should have won this game before a home crowd. When the ‘Cats lost, Johnny had tears in his eyes. He had to regroup and walk back a few steps before he could get in that line to shake hands with the Bells. I want my favorite player and best athlete to feel totally disappointed. Despite age and gender, I want a loss to bring tears to an athlete’s eyes. But I also want him or her to have the chutzpah to stay in that line and demonstrate good sportsmanship.

I wish I had seen a Notre Dame team, laden with talent prevail. I wish I had seen the face of the team with tears in her eyes and every bone in her body aching with pain and disappointment shake the hand of the Aggies. Instead I saw the words of local sports talk radio host Damon Bruce come to life: “sports don’t build character, they reveal it.”

Notre Dame coach Muffet McGraw was asked if she would talk with Diggins down the line and help her gain perspective about her success and her disappointment in Indianapolis. "I think it's going to be a while for her to get that perspective," she said. "I think she's extremely hard on herself. And she will spend the entire summer, I'm sure, thinking about this game. And that's probably a good thing for us." I hope she also spends the entire summer thinking about Sportsmanship 101.

Photo Credits
Women's National Championship
Diggins: Face of the Team
Johnny Mrlik
Coach McGraw

Triple Threat or Triple Bind? A Reality for Female Athletes

Not only did tonight’s win for the Lady Irish put them in the Final Four, it ended a 20 game win streak by the Lady Vols of Tennessee. I watched the game hoping for an Irish win, I still have fond memories of the 2001 national championship team, but in all honesty, I wanted to get a better look at Skylar Diggins. A friend who an excellent, skilled basketball player, mentioned Diggins, the sophomore point guard just yesterday. She said, “ND’s point guard is good AND she’s pretty.”

To my female friends who are athletes, especially those of you who are basketball players, I hope you are offended by this comment. And, I hope that you are like me--you know exactly what she meant. All too often it seems that one is at the cost of the other. It’s not always true, but quite often…..

I’m not (really) a feminist, but I’m not convinced the conversation would play out in this way were we to describe male athletes. I love talking about the talented Ben Hansbrough or Tim Abromaitis, and I have mentioned more than once how handsome they are, but never once have I done so (about them or any other male athlete) with a tone of surprise. Simply put, it's not an "either/or" proposition.

I would like to make the claim that something other than a double standard exists between male and female athletes. It’s one dimension of a study by psychologist Stephen Hinshaw known as the “Triple Bind.”

• Be pretty, sweet and nice
• Be athletic, competitive, and get straight A’s
• Be impossibly perfect

It claims “In many ways, today is the best time in history to be a girl. Opportunities for a girl’s success are as unlimited as her dreams. Yet an alarm is sounding, revealing a disturbing portrait of the stresses affecting girls of all ages. Societal expectations, cultural trends, and conflicting messages are creating what psychologist Stephen Hinshaw calls “the Triple Bind.” Girls are now expected to excel at “girl skills,” achieve “boy goals,” and be models of female perfection, 100 percent of the time. The Triple Bind is putting more and more girls at risk for aggression, eating disorders, depression, and even suicide.”

Directly and indirectly, I have given this idea a lot of thought. A friend once asked me if I was planning to raise a daughter or an athlete. I looked at him incredulously; I hope my face revealed the disgust and sadness I felt in my heart. Is one truly at the expense of the other?

A number of friends have expressed their athletic hopes and dreams for their children. As fun and interesting as it is to think of what their kids will pursue in 7-10 years time, I have noticed that most do not want their sons to play a certain sport for safety reasons whereas the concern for their daughters is for social ones—“it’s not a sport a girl should play.” I may be oversimplifying things, but I hear very little about social stigma as a concern for male athletes. The triple bind is real, and I know my thoughts and actions have contributed to its persistence.

My experience as a fan of men’s and women’s basketball at Notre Dame revealed this hard truth; I honestly don’t know how to let go a mindset I myself hold. It is more than a triple bind—it is a triple threat.

In basketball, a talented player has command of the “triple threat.” She or he can dribble, pass or shoot the ball with confidence. My inability to dribble too often put me in a precarious position on offense; consequently, I overcompensate or inevitably, I lose possession. The triple threat, however for most women is in no way confined to the hardwood. We want to be a triple threat: smart, athletic and beautiful. Such expectations actually put women into a triple bind. When we cannot master all three, we tend to overcompensate in two areas, or just check out of the game.

In no way would I ask any member of the Lady Irish to check out of the game. Their passion, teamwork, and talent as evident in tonight's game were beautiful. These twelve players have overcompensated for one another’s weaknesses all season because that’s what teammates do—they help one another out. And when that happens, the binding isn’t suffocating or debilitating—it’s connection.

I think it's important to ask ourselves--What are we bound to? and what binds us? Is it building a connection that suffocates or is life-giving? Is it leading us to check out or to victory? Believe it or not, the root of "religion" is ligare which means "to bind." My Catholic faith affirms and helps me understand what I am bound to. I hope that in some small way, basketball does too.

Photo Credits
Skylar Diggins
Triple Bind