Book Review and Recommendation: I'm Not a Robot and Neither Are You by Alex Montoya

One of the intentions offered at Sunday mass was "for artists, musicians, authors and poets. In gratitude for the beauty and truth that they bring to our world." I paused when I heard the word author. I immediately thought of my friend and classmate Alex Montoya. All of ten minutes before Mass, I finished his latest book I'm Not a Robot and Neither Are You! I have read all of Alex's books but this one pierced my heart. I laughed, I cried and yes, I too burst into "I Want to Know What Love Is." As the lector proclaimed "For this, we pray to the Lord." I enthusiastically responded "Lord, hear our prayer."

I had the pleasure of meeting up with Alex this July in his beloved East Village neighborhood in San Diego. I wanted to catch up with him and also introduce him to my two nieces. Alex’s warm presence made an immediate impression—Grace and Lucy were captivated by his stories. Father Greg Boyle had it right when he said "good stories come to those who tell them." Alex has made a living—literally and metaphorically in doing so. 

During our visit, Alex handed me a copy of his sixth book. At first, I thought the title was a little generic. Little did I know that the foreshadowing he offers in the introduction—about the title— would become one of the most meaningful parts of his work.

Whether you’ve known Alex for two minutes, two years, or twenty, he has a way of turning expectations on their head—flipping the script, proving doubters (like me) wrong, and reminding others why they were right to believe in him. Through it all, he consistently offers inspiration and hope—something we all need. Therefore, I’d like this post to serve as both a book review and a recommendation.  

The premise of I'm Not a Robot and Neither are You! is not new. The science behind cultivating an “attitude of gratitude” is well documented, and creating a gratitude list is a familiar practice—whether or not one is religious or spiritual. What sets this book apart, however, is the perspective and experiences of the author. What Alex has been given, and what he chooses to be grateful for, made me eager to read each entry. He even notes, “My Gratitude List is 500 items long. But don’t worry, I don’t list them all. I’m not trying to recreate War and Peace here.” I don’t know, Alex—if more of us saw the world as you do, we might actually find ourselves a little closer to world peace.

Montoya organizes his reflections into five themed chapters, and the evidence speaks for itself: the more I read, the more I found myself highlighting, tabbing, and wanting to remember.

I’ve often heard that reading expands our capacity for empathy. Through Alex’s gratitude list, I came to better understand the physical, mental, and emotional challenges of living with a disability. None can be separated from the other. At the same time, I grew in admiration for my friend’s resolve and resilience. He has fallen and gotten back up—or out of a bathtub as one story reveals (#78: Splish, Splash I was taking a bath). In another entry, Alex recalls being in a grocery store when a stranger blurted out, “Dang, dude, look at you. Lookin’ like a robot up in here. Are you a robot?” Instead of ignoring the man or reacting in anger, Alex did the unexpected. AND he wrote about it, too. Please, read for yourself (#487: I'm Not a Robot).

Speaking of... a few of his "thank you notes" also serve as valuable reminders. For example "Gratitude List Item #161: Wait List" states

One thing that makes most of us unhappy is waiting. We live in an era of instant gratification. Waiting at the bank, doctor's office, airport or anywhere else is not pleasant. Unless you bring reading material! It is fairly common for people to state they intend to read more. This is a perfect opportunity. ... I am grateful that reading whenever I wait has increased my peace and patience.

Alex loves to carry Notre Dame Magazine with him. I love that he has been profiled in this quarterly journal several times. One of my all time favorites is from Stories of Us. Go Irish.

Our friendship has grown and deepened since college because we share so common values and interests. We check in on music documentaries, sports lore and of course our love for ND. Alex oversees a Facebook group that I follow closely, "Irish Fans United." I love his breakdowns of each football game, usually written 12, 24 or 48 hours after the contest. His entry "Gratitude Item List #7: Sports Department" he writes

I love sports. If it bounces, I'll watch it—particularly football, baseball, soccer and basketball. Even sports I am not a rabid fan of I will still watch casually and keep track of it's leading athletes or teams. When I immigrated to the United States at age 4, my first entrée into American culture was through athletics.

My aunt, who I was just increasingly calling "mom" taught me the rules and nuances of football. Mom told me when I watched a game on television,"Pay attention. Every play matters." No wonder then that my teacher said, "Alex Montoya, no wonder you know so much about sports. You are the only student in here actually watching the game."

Neighborhood play and schoolyard recess had already shown me that with three prosthetics, I couldn't play very many team sports. But I could announce them as play-by-play, which my friends loved. I could analyze and dissect gains on TV, which made mama proud. And I could recount every last play, which impressed my teachers. At age six, I already knew I would love sports forever.

Alex reminds me of a simple truth: pay attention. Taking notice and observing what is unfolding on the field (and not your phone) makes for a passion that is both intelligent and infectious. He is a great friend and teacher in and through sport. 

Alex urges his audience at all times to "See the Good." The man truly does it. More than once the outcomes and takeaways from his challenges humbled and humored me. In "Gratitude List Item #342: God Won't Rob You," Alex shares story an extra Padres ticket only to "go to the game solo, like Han." (that's Star Wars humor for you). He admits "I was a little miffed that day that God hadn't made it so my extra ticket was used by a buoyant buddy or beautiful brunette. Then, when I saw the seats next to me were empty I felt especially lonely." You need to read it to find out who shows up. I guarantee you too will ask, "Who says God can't?!"

In Scripture, we are told, “If you seek, you shall find.” I am grateful that Alex sought, found, and chose to share through story. I plan to read select entries with my students throughout the semester, and I invite you to do the same with your own children, family, or friends. Perhaps his book will even inspire you to begin a Gratitude List of your own. If it does, be prepared!  Alex writes, “The more you are grateful for, the more God will give you.” I love this perspective—it echoes the bold question Alex asks: “Who says God can’t?!”

I don't think you can make up what transpired in #408: Sing Along. The story came to to Alex (and to Cort) because he can tell it. And he should. Alex, you know what love is: the love of God, of family—both near and far, or friends—old and new. Thank you for giving and receiving love—in abundance. Something else a robot can't do. 

Photo Credits
Book
Alex and Books
In the Dugout 

Good Recommedation, Great Friend: The Gift of Building Others Up

We get recommendations about shows to watch and movies to see all the time. What prompts you to put that series into your queue? What gets you to press play? How often do you really listen to a friend or family member's advice?

I believe I follow up on a recommendation based on the message and the messenger. Sorta. If it's a messenger I know and trust, a person who "gets" my passions, interests, indiosyncracies— then I am all in. I'm grateful for these influencers. And one of the best is my friend and classmate, Alex Montoya.

Check out this photo....Cyndi Lauper. MJ. The Boss. Is that Kenny Loggins or Billy Joel?!

In late January 2024, Alex sent me a text that said: You have to see “The Greatest Night in Pop” on Netflix. Wow.

Alex knows me. He knows and shares my love of music. I opened up my laptop and 96 minutes later came up for air. I must have emailed and texted any and everyone my age and older who I knew would delight in the collaborative genius.

However, I thanked Alex for the recommendation first. We shared our observations and musing. His insights are always on point—or rather in tune and on key. He asked me when I was going to write about the program  for this blog. I gave it a pass—but not a hard one. I quoted from another one of our favorites movies and said "negative ghostrider. The pattern is full." I added, "Remember, this is a blog about sports and spirituality!"  Though I have touched on music over the years, my focus is always on sports...sports with a spiritual problem. And nothing about this documentary connected those dots. That is, until it did. It does. It has. It will. Here's the scoop.

Readers look good on you, A-Mo

Thirty five plus years of being a Springsteen fan has given me a lot of expsoure to and understanding of The Boss. I've seen him live 23 times, I have read at least five books about him, countless articles and more. I always pay very close attention to his message, his body language, his affect and his insights when he speaks in concert and especially in interviews. When Bruce Springsteen weighs in on a music documentary, people listen. Though I find him rather diffident, he is a legend, a musical genius, a singer and a songwriter, a poet and a performer.

Springsteen plays an important part in the recording of "We Are the World." Coming in hot from the Born in the USA tour, he made a good effort to be in Los Angeles for the session. Almost 40 years later, he still looks good (he turns 75 on 9/23). He recalls why he decided to show up and what that great night was like. As the egos were checked at the door and different voices found their harmony, in one snapshot scence (from today) Springsteen said, "Steve Perry can sing. He's got that great voice, up in that Sam Cooke territory."His words did not surprise me. The  realization I had from the documentary however did.

Bruce Springsteen always always always builds up other musicians. In countless interviews, I have heard him name the music he is listening to and what music he is excited about. He thanks those who have gone before him, who has made an impact, and how they did it. I know who they are because he builds them up. Examples include The Clash, the Sex Pistols, Bob Dylan, Elvis, Johnny Cash, Ray Charles, Elvis Costello and more. He speaks to their strengths. He shares what inspires him about other artists, too. What an exceptional quality.

One could say that Bruce is able to compliment others because he is so secure and grounded in who he is and the success he has had. To me, that's a sad, sullen justification. Not everything in life is a competition. To give credit where credit is due, to offer praise and build someone up costs nothing. It's just so easy to tear others down. People do it all the time. However, I've noticed—it may feel right at the moment, but ultimately it leaves everyone feeling less connected, less loving, less whole...less holy. Life is hard enough. I don't know why we can't build each other up instead of tear each other down. 

This singular, stand out quality in Bruce Springsteen has prompted me to look for it in others. Fortunately, I have found it in a few people. Though my Dad is not an athlete (today) one of the reasons I think my he is a great sports fan is because of the way he builds up certain athletes. For example, Jeff Ulbrich was one of the candidates for the position of defensive coordinator with the 49ers. Ulbrich, who is currently with the Jets played at linebacker for the Niners for nine years. My dad said, "I loved his drive and desire on the field. He was a total overacheiver. The man always played hard. I can see that now as he coaches on the sidelines. Doesn't surprise me." One might read "overachiever" as a put down—it's not. Ulbrich played up. He was more than his height and weight and what his scouting report ever put into print. 

For reasons like this, I enjoy talking to my Dad about sports. He has a good habit for finding the best in a player, especially when they are on our team....and even when they are not. Let me be clear—what I am referring to should not be confused with toxic positivity (more on that another time. Sorry Denver).

In my Lenten journal from The Grotto Network, I was invited to respond to this quote and question today, Day 22 of Lent

He who goes aboutto reform the world must begin with himself. —St. Ignatius of Loyola
Name one change you would like to see in the world. How can you make a starting point within yourself for that change? 

I truly would like to live in a world that builds others up. I hope we can see, recognize and celebrate the gifts and talents of one others and ourselves. Let us not always view ourselves in competition with one another. As written in the song "We are the World" We're all a part of God's great big family And the truth, you know, love is all we need."

Thank you, Alex for building me up all these years and believing in my writing. I managed to get a little sports and a whole lot of spirituality in here.

Photo Credits

We are the World
Boss interview
Jeff U