Two Assists for One Goal

My sister is great at telling jokes. She has a penchant for remembering them (half the battle!). She can reference a good one easily. Her delivery is outstanding and her timing is impeccable. As a primary school educator, it's a handy tool in the tool box. My gift? This should not come as a surprise: finding a good metaphor for sports and spirituality.

Most of my analogies are straightforward and speak for themselves. One need not be a devoted sports fan or deeply spiritual to understand and appreciate them. Others are more specialized, shaped for a particular audience. Some come easily, but not all. From time to time, I have to let a metaphor cook—or bake—churning it over until something settles into place. The core ingredient is there, but something is still missing. Such is the case with the assist—but in this instance, I mean the assist in hockey.

I have written about the assist and its significance. As written in Remembering Fr. Ted Hesburgh for A Lifelong Assist

An assist is credited to a player who makes a pass or play that directly leads to a goal or basket. It is a vital component of many team sports, including basketball, soccer, lacrosse, and field hockey. It shows how teamwork—not just scoring—helps a team succeed. 

The assist is one of the more selfless stats in all of sports. You have to think of your teammates and have a wider vision of who they are and where they are in order to get one. The assist makes scoring and winning happen; without one you have a lot of "I"s in that team. As a way of teaching its importance, UNC's Hall of Fame coach, Dean Smith "drummed into his players that, after scoring, each should point at the teammate who made the basket possible." 

I started to think of how the world might be different if we all recognized the person who gives us an assist. Too often, assists go unnoticed (which is why Coach Smith's innovation is so thoughtful and poignant).

However, in hockey, an assist is a bit more generous and structured than in other sports.  Up to two players can get assists on a single goal. In fact, a goal can have: a primary assist (last player to pass the puck) and a secondary assist (the player who passed it before that). The hockey assist depends on continuous team possession. Ultimately it rewards build-up play, not just the final pass! Talk about a wider vision.

I have let this facet of hockey marinate in my mind for some time. And I'm glad I did as I found a meaningful analog.

My mom has been in a skilled nursing facility since February 6, 2026. Since her diagnosis with ovarian cancer she has struggled in the hospital and at home. She lost so much strength and is in need of daily physical therapy and greater medical care than we could provide at home. The drawback is that the days and nights can get long and lonely.

It has been humbling to see how family and friends have reached out—with phone calls, text messages, cards, gift cards, and so many acts of service and love. Although my mom hasn’t been very active, visitors seem to restore her energy. Just last week, I reached out to a beloved neighbor, Josie from my parents’ old neighborhood, and her visit lifted my mom’s spirits in a beautiful way. She brought with her another neighbor, Jackie. The three of them had lunch together just one year earlier!

Two days later, another former neighbor, Marie, came to see my mom. She stayed for over an hour. My mom was deeply touched. "We laughed so much! We had so much to talk about. We share great memories from those days in Walnut Creek."

Marie was my brother's confirmation sponsor. When I got my acceptance letter into Notre Dame she came to our house with flowers. It made me sad that we had lost touch over the years but grateful for all we have shared.

I sent a text message to Josie thanking her for reaching out to Marie. She said "I can't take credit for that. Jackie is in better contact with Marie. She notified her." 

And there you have it: two assists for one goal. Josie brought Jackie and Jackie brought Marie. All get credit for showing up, but one is not necessarily independent of the other.

I take heart in this metaphor. All is connected. None of us stand alone. It’s important to recognize those who make the assist—the quiet contributors whose presence makes something greater possible. Whether in basketball or hockey, may we celebrate the good that comes from a wider vision and a deep commitment to one another.

And please continue to pray for my mom, her caregivers and her visitors!

Photo Credits
The Assist