The Spirituality of Siblings: In Sports and Beyond

For some reason, stories about siblings fascinate me, and I only have two of them.  Having an older brother and a younger sister has shaped by a view of the world in a way that I can never quantify. We share a common upbringing, parents, values, and traditions and yet we are our own unique persons. I think of who they are, what they do and the impact they have had and I am grateful for the gift they are to the world.  

And my sentiments for my own siblings have led me to ask in wonder: What would it be like to have a brother who is the Pope? or a sister who competing with me for the National Championship women's basketball title?  

I ask these questions because there are people who can actually answer them.  Their insights have colored the way I see Pope Francis and the Louisville Cardinals women's basketball team do what they do.

Pope Francis, Jorge Mario Bergoglio, is the fourth of five children born to Mario Jose and Regina Maria Bergoglio. Today he has one living sibling, his youngest sister—Maria Elena Bergoglio, who is 65. On March 19, 2013, the Italian Catholic newspaper, Avvenire shared (via NCR) with the world information about their relationship.

She told the newspaper that she and her brother are extremely close, which she attributes to their parents emphasis on "the value of love." 

We've lways had a close relationship despite the 12-year age difference. I was the younges and Jorge always pampered and protected me." 

Every time I had a problem, I'd go running to him and he was always there. Even though his ministry and duties as Jesuit provincial and then as archbishop of Buenos Aires kept her brother busy and often prevented him from visiting, the two silbings always spoke by phone every week, she said.

She named her first-born son Jorge, "in honor of my special brother," who also was moved to be asked to be the child's Godfather. 

The Pope's newphew, Jorge, 37, told the paper that his uncle "is someone who is very open, we talk about everything, long talks," he said. 

She said she and her family stayed home in Ituzaingo, near Buenos Aires, to watch the Pope's inaugural Mass on television and out of respect for his public request taht Argentines give to the poor the money they would have spent on airfare. 

"We are near him in prayer," she said.

Her house was still busy with phone calls and visitors, and occassional motorists would still drive by, honking their horns, shouting "Viva el papa." Avvenire reported March 19. Maria Elena and her husband painted the gate to the house yellow and white in honor of the election, the paper reported.

She said she spoke to her brother March 14, the day after he was elected Pope. "I wasn't able to say a thing and he wasn't either" because they were so overwhelmed with emotion, she said. 

I took delight in reading about this special, loving relationship.  According to his sister, Jorge's priesthood wasn't without sacrifice; he missed many family gatherings and meals as he tended to people in the slums.  Yet, their loving devotion to one another and the larger human family speaks volumes.  I don't know that I would have been able to not go to Rome for the Papal inauguration.  But I am impressed by her respect for his wishes and her creative sign of support.  I would have flown a papal flag, but that yellow and white gate is symbolically rich and fitting.  

And if you catch the NCAA women's basketball championship game, you will notice two women with the same surname. That's because Shoni and Jude Schimmel are sisters, which could be a definite advantage.  As reported in the Washington Post, "When Louisville’s Shoni Schimmel whipped a no-look, behind-the-back bounce pass to younger sister Jude for a fast-break layup in the women’s Final Four, former WNBA player Ryneldi Becenti was on a Native American reservation watching on TV — and grinning at the sight of a free-wheeling style of basketball she knows quite well."

In typical sibling banter, the eldest of the two—Shoni said “I remember her sitting there saying she didn’t want to go to the same school. But it was a blessing when she did.”  And the best part is their parents and six other siblings are probably the most excited that they did. Why?  It was because of their team's upset that their parents finally got married.

Ceci Moses, their mother said, ‘If these guys beat Baylor, then I’ll marry you.’”

That night, the sisters combined to go 7 of 10 from 3-point range to help Louisville pull off an 82-81 victory that will be remembered as one of the biggest upsets of the 2013 tournament.

The next day, Rick and Cici were married in Oklahoma City. The day after that, Louisville pulled off another upset against Tennessee last Tuesday to advance to the Final Four in New Orleans.

“My parents have been together for 28 years but they’ve never had the time to actually tie the knot,” Shoni Schimmel explained. “they had a ton of kids, eight kids, and they just never really had the time to go out and do it because they’re out coaching us or teaching us how to play basketball and stuff. They never had the time.”

It is amazing what siblings can achieve--from uniting their parents to uniting the ends of the earth.  A world with siblings isn't one we should take for granted; it's not a given in some places.  And for those without brothers or sister, I know some of the siblings of my closest friends have had just as much as an impact on my life as my own family members.  They color our world--sometimes in yellow and white and other times in under the shared colors of our team.  They have taught me how to fight and reconcile, laugh and let go, to love and to be loved.  We can always "be near them in prayer."

Photo Credits
Sisters
Bergoglio Family
Maria Elena and Son Jorge Bergoglio
Sisters in Cardinal Red

Come and See: Heartbreak in Houston

In the first chapter of John, Nathanael asks Philip, "Can anything good come from Nazareth?"  Philip said to him, "Come and see." I felt the same wasy as I found out the only game in town during a recent trip to Houston were the Astros vs. the Texas Rangers.  

I was genuinely disappointed to find out those pesky Rockets were on the road in Sacramento.  I will have to see James Harden on GSW turf.  I have to admit, the thought of seeing the "Lastros" in a a pre-season interleague game, wasn't overly enticing.  I thought to myself, "I guess I will go." What kind of entertainment could a team with by far the lowest payroll in MLB offer?

My apathy might stem from the fact I hadn't had a chance to miss baseball all that much.  In addition to another World Series title (October baseball, a great problem to have) and the World Baseball Classic that came to AT&T Park, Giamaitti's poetry wasn't resounding with me.  Baseball hadn't broken my heart....it hadn't even been gone.

I couldn't have been more wrong about a single evening.  Every single one of my expectations was surpassed and I encountered joyful surprises.  I left the park that night with one thing to say: "Baseball, I love you."

Not only was the game the second one in the regular season, the Astros weren't playing an interleague game.  As verified in my Sports Illustrated baseball preview, the Astros had moved to the AL West.  I was right about one thing--they are expected to place fifth out of five teams--living up to their name.

I walked into Minute Maid Park, excited to see another cathedral of baseball.  I was met by several fans who looked at me squarely in the eye and said "Go Giants." They said it with sincerity; wearing a World Series crown feels remarkable.  The respect and admiration the G-men are getting from baseball fans is legit.  It set the tone for a remarkable evening. 

With its retractable roof, Minute Maid park didn't feel  like an indoor stadium (closed due to impending thunder storms). A far, far cry from the Astrodome (which I made it to in September 1997) this jewel of a yard has the unconventional if not quixotic center field.  

A friend made the claim that all baseball parks should maintain symmetry --a nice way of saying they should be the cookie-cutter stadiums of the '70s.  I couldn't believe his sentiment launched a debate, but it did.  I believe today's most intriguing ballparks integrate pre-existing urban architecture e.g. the wall at Camden Yards in Baltimore or a brick building that shapes left field at Petco Park in San Diego.  Why would we want every outfield to be the same? As we were talking, I was reminded how many times baseball has served as a backdrop to debates and thoughtful conversations I have had with family and friends.  It's slow pace interrupted by action and reaction allows for this to unfold--easily and organically.

And what was unfolding before our eyes was incredible--a perfect game.  At the completion of five innings a new friend turned to me and said that the Rangers starting pitcher, Yu Darvish hadn't allowed a single player to first base.  I looked at the score board to confirm, and sure enough 15 batters had sat down at the Japanese pitcher's expense.  

During the sixth and seventh innings, we quietly observed the masterpiece develop.  I wondered if others around us were aware of what we knew.  By the eighth inning, the buzz filled the air.  It was as though fans made the temperature rise in the indoor-it-feels-outdoor arena.  At the bottom of the ninth inning, the energy was electric.  It didn't matter that this perfect game was being thrown by the opposing team (although I hope Astros fans disagree), we were aware that history was in the making.  My friend Matt made note that Darvish was facing the last three hitters in the line-up.  Translation: these should be the easiest three outs.  

The exciting tension mounted with each pitch.  Darvish, got the first two batters out with ease.  All fans were standing.  We couldn't believe we were a witness to history in the making.  Everyone felt as though the perfect game was for them.  Even though this feat was in the hands of one man, it was a truly communal experience.  And within seconds, Marwin Gonzalez hit a clean single up the middle.  It was a devastating; I couldn't believe how disappointed I felt.  For Yu!, for baseball fans and my own bragging rights.  

Yu Darvish, didn't throw a fit, he didn't toss hit mit in disgust or kick the dirt.  He didn't even stand on the mound and sigh. No, he smiled to himself.  What a feat and what an honor to witness his grace.  

I'm glad I did as Philip recommended.  I came and saw.  Just when I think baseball can offer little more by way of surprise, I am proven wrong.  I walked out of Minute Maid Park feeling heartbreak, but with an increased appreciation for something I love.  

I recommned visiting other sports venues because a fan can be more objective about what their experience.  I never leave a rival venue without an important observation or lesson to learn.  In this Easter season, joy and surprise await us.  Get out there, be a witness and play ball!

Photo Credits
Center Field
Yu's Grace
Team Support
Minute Maid Park
Lastros

Spiritual Role Models: What Would Jorge Do?

Good Friday is hard for me.  But that's ok, it's supposed to be hard. What I wasn't expecting was the challenge that Holy Saturday brought.  A royal holding pattern, I felt awash is confusion and doubt.  Jesus has suffered and died.  He was hung on a cross one day prior.  Yet the day after, there is a general silence--a vapid void.  I decided to stay with that malaise and hold on for the impending joy of Easter.

Perhaps the difficulty in navigating the waters of Holy Saturday is because no one has directed us on what we ought to do or how we should be.  When I don't know the moral way, a helpful question I ask myself is What would Jesus do? But, today these words found their limit.  Jesus' descent to the dead confounds me.  However, with Pope Francis in the Holy See, I believe I found an answer. What would Jorge do? If you have followed this humble servant, you know exactly what he would do--he would pray and he would serve the poor.

I know I needed his example (and was grateful for it) as I rolled out of my bed on Good Friday at 6:00 a.m. to work at Martin de Porres a soup kitchen.  It's funny because the regret I felt as I turned off my alarm wasn't that it was early in the day, but that I would miss my 6:30 a.m. Body Pump (weight training) class.  Physical discipline isn't something I struggle to maintain.  My spiritual discipline however needs to get back in shape.
  

Pope Francis is an appealing role model for spiritual discipline because he makes it look easy.  In the same way that the best crew makes rowing look smooth, balanced and effortless, Jorge makes doing simple things for the poor, a natural if not appealing choice.

And the reality is something much different.  Working with the poor isn't necessarily fun or easy.  On Friday, folks were particularly ornery.  Because it was close to the end of the month, when most SSI checks have been cashed out, patience runs low and tempers flair high.  One woman yelled non-stop about how much pain she was in.  It was hard to hear.  But just because it's difficult, doesn't mean its unimportant.  Jorge and Jesus have confirmed this with their words and their actions.

As Bono notes in his speech at the National Prayer Breakfast, It's not a coincidence that in the scriptures, poverty is mentioned more than 2,100 times. It's not an accident. That's a lot of air time, 2,100 mentions. (You know, the only time Christ is judgmental is on the subject of the poor.) 'As you have done it unto the least of these my brethren, you have done it unto me' (Matthew 25:40). As I say, good news to the poor.

I think working with the poor may be one of the most important spiritual disciplines period.  We know we are supposed to care for the poor, but actually going out and doing it is another matter.  So I am grateful for Pope Francis as a spiritual role model.  I want to become a better Christian, and I think working with the poor and committing myself to other spiritual disciplines--like prayer and silence is the way to increase my faith.

This approach has certainly worked for me in the past.  For example, I became a better athlete when I became a coach.  As a visual learner, I need examples of how to execute, what it looks like to work hard--to pull hard, to train hard, the compete hard.  I am talking really hard.  Several athletes color my memory.  

Al Bannis took every erg test without fear.  I've never seen a rower approach the erg like Al Bannis.  If an inanimate object could feel fear, I think it should be the rowing machine that was assigned to her 2000 meter erg test.  Or when I need to picture commitment to excellence, grit and determination, Caitlin DeBarbarie comes to mind.  Not once did I need to check on Caitlin to determine if she completed her push-ups or held a plank for a minute, for a minute and a half, or for two minutes.  Even today, when I struggle to build my core, I think back to Caitlin and her discipline.  

I am grateful for these athletes and countless others, because I saw the fruit of their labor.  Their teams were stronger, their peers had an understanding of what their coaches were asking for and these athletes inspired others to bring their best.  Not everyone was as competitive as Al, but she sure made it easier to see that maybe we could.

Today, I work out primarily on my own.  As an adult, save from a few leagues I have played in or friends I have trained with, we are our own sources of discipline, commitment and support.  If I don't show up at the gym this week, guess who notices?  Guess who holds me accountable? One person and one person only--me.  But that is not my struggle.  Getting to the gym or finding time to workout isn't a challenge for me.  It's so integrated into my life and such a given priority that I can't imagine another way.

Spiritual discipline however, is another story.  Certain commitments are non-negotiable, I have a community of faith, but the part that is of my own accord needs more discipline, more effort and practice.  I'm grateful for the role models who are doing the heavy lifting and giving what they have--their time, their hearts, their lives.  Sounds like the recipe for a good workout.

Photo Credits
Pope Francis washes feet
Balanced Crew
Christ thinking of the poor
Holy Saturday icon

Sports Can Provide: "A Little of that Human Touch"

I have no idea if you work place is anything like mine. But since the election of Jorge Mario Bergoglio as Pope Francis, something has changed. Colleagues are excited, hopeful, even joyful when speaking about the Church leadership. A small part of me keeps waiting for the shoe to drop, but for now I will enjoy the ride. It's been a nice change of pace.

Case in point, one of the "resident critics" had us gather around his computer to watch a video clip entitled "Pope descended Pope mobile to bless disabled man before Inagural Mass." He pressed replay with tears in his eyes.  We saw the Holy Father go out of his way, much to the dismay of his security team, to meet a severely disabled man.  When Pope Francis reaches him, he kisses his forehead and touches his shoulder to their mutual delight. The Pope exchanges words with the man's caregiver and he returns again to this man and blesses him. 

I wondered why I was so moved by something so simple.  I decided it was time I take off the rose colored glasses I've been wearing with this new papacy and revisit my question.  What is the big deal? Why was my heart bursting?  

I've said it once and I'll say it again, or Springsteen will (excuse me!) "It's a little of that Human Touch."

For the first few years of our lives, we are enveloped by it.  We are held, passed from family member to family member--hugged and kissed, loved and blessed.  I remember with great fondness one uncle who always said to my sister and me, "I love my nieces to pieces" as he tortured us with affection.  As we grow older, how we express affection changes and during our teenage years, it is tricky.  

Adolescence is a time when young men and women who want love and affection have difficulty figuring out how they can express it.
Girls have a little more liberty in sharing hugs with one another and affection to their parents. For boys, its not a given. Sure, there are outliers and I can think of a a few special ones, like Brett.  Officially the "strongest man in the school" this linebacker ate the "750 lb. club" for lunch. For Brett, "Thou-Pow" was his main meal (that's a combined total of 1000 lbs between the dead lift, squat and bench press).  

He gave hugs to men and women, boys and girls.  His embrace was beloved.  It always brought a smile to the victim and the perpetrator.  But Brett stands out because albeit a wonderful and open expression of healthy affection, it was the exception—not the rule.  Was it safe for Brett to be openly affectionate with his peers because he was so comfortable in his own skin?  Yes. Would others be this way if they could?  I think so...  

Regardless, the question remains: Where are teens finding love, acceptance and affection? I realized it isn't in a way the media often portrays a drunken hook-up or only on prom night.  No--there's a very real place for high school males to openly share affection—and they are already doing it, perhaps without even knowing it. It's on the volleyball and basketball court, the football field, and even at the finish line. It's in sports.

I attended a varsity boys volleyball game on the same day I saw the aforementioned Papal video.  I never leave one of their games without some sort of impression or appreciation.  On this day, I noticed just how much "human touch" takes place on and off the court.  Guys are subbed in frequently; one won't leave the court without a high five to his teammate.  Good hits, bad hits, missed hits and winners all bring a number of guys to reach out to one another--knuckle tap, to a slap on the butt, a shoulder meet shoulder jump in the air, a low five or a high five.  They say we need "6 hugs a day and 12 for growth." This team is meeting their quota and going beyond.

I know this creates a bond among players; coaches are equally affectionate.  In a society that all too often knows affection in a way that has been compromised or exploited, this was a breath of fresh air. I applaud this team and their coaches for giving these young men a safe place to recreate, work toward a common goal and care for one another in the process.  I hope and pray they are one of many teams that offers the gift of love.

Many cultures express affection more comfortably and naturally than Americans do. It must be those Puritanical roots.  It reaches a deep human need. I was reminded of that need in watching Pope Francis.  He met a stranger with open arms. He was moved by his spirit enough to kiss, touch and bless him. He was responding to his humanity and a fundamental desire we all share—to love and to be loved. Sports teams at their best can offer a place for this to happen—with a little human touch.

Photo Credits
Pope Frances touches man
Up Close
Boys VB

Gamechangers: Pope Francis and ...

Variety may be the spice of life, but so are novelty foods and beverages!  When my friend shared a spoonful of chocolate coconut peanut butter--novelty food extraordinaire, I didn't know what to do but put it on my semi-bland pumpkin muffin.  Suddenly, my breakfast was transformed.  I looked at her and said "it's a game changer."  She smiled because she knew exactly what I meant...

Game changers wake us up.  They see and do things in a new way.  As the risk of being overly redundant, they change the game (no!).  We recognize their true impact over the course of time, but it's safe to say we can also recognize them in the here and now.  

Sports is the domain where we first called this term, and they are rich with examples--male and female, across the board.  The first one that comes to mind (good, bad or otherwise) for me is Tiger Woods.  His commitment to weight lifting and physical fitness wasn't just for an issue of Men's Health. His game was different because of his discipline. Consequently, golf has become more respected as a game that holds much more than the mental stamina.  The physical demands are real.  

I encourage you to name your favorite game changer-- Is it Forty Niner coach Bill Walsh with his "west coast offense?" Dick Fosbury for the high jump? or Billie Jean King for tennis? Some folks may be given more credit than deserved e.g. Notre Dame football coach Knute Rockne didn't invent the forward pass, but he certainly popularized it,  being among the first in football, running a major program (and succeeding with it).  Regardless, the notion of a "game changer" invites dialogue and debate, reflection and respect.

And it seems that the Catholic church has a "game changer" at its helm.  Jorge Mario Bergoglio has been Pope Francis for less than a month, and every day I hear new stories, watch different video clips of the Holy Father doing what few popes have done (taking the bus home on the evening of his appointment as the 265th predecessor of St. Peter) and now going where few popes have gone before.  

And this is literally true as I came to learn this morning from Catholic On-line "On Holy Thursday, 28 March, the Holy Father Francis will celebrate the Chrism Mass in St. Peter's Basilica in the morning and then, at 5:30pm in the afternoon, will go to celebrate the Mass of the Lord's Supper at the Casal del Marmo youth detention center instead of the Basilica of St. John Lateran, where it had been traditionally held in past years."

No Pope has ever said Holy Thursday mass in a prison before.  This gesture shouldn't be a surprise to those who are familiar with the demands of the Gospel.  In Matthew 25:35-36 Jesus lays out his demands to his disciples "For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me, in prison and you visited me." 

For those that know him, this gesture isn't a surprise either. "In his ministry as Archbishop of Buenos Aires, Cardinal Bergoglio used to celebrate the Mass in a prison or hospital or hospice for the poor and marginalized. With this celebration at Casal del Marmo, Pope Francis will continue his custom, which is characterized by its humble context."

But that's what "game changers" do.  They take what their tradition and area of expertise offers and make it better. They ask a new spin on what is getting done or at least needs to be.  Be it the leader of the Catholic church taking the tradition of visiting those in prison and doing it during our holiest week or supplementing an athletic feat with a new discipline or dimension, "game changers" show that the spirit is moving, it is alive and at work in our world and in one another.  

Photo Credits
Gamechangers