Monday, April 14, 2025

Friendship as a Contributing Factor to Rory McIlroy's Masters Championship

The conclusion of the 2025 Masters for Rory McIlroy was historic, impressive, and incredibly emotional. We witnessed him best Justin Rose by sinking a clutch birdie in sudden death. The tears McIlroy finally released after years of near-misses and disappointment resonated with viewers worldwide. I smiled watching the tender embrace with his wife and the long, loving hug he shared with his daughter Poppy. But one additional moment made me pause and take notice: on his way to Butler Cabin, McIlroy encountered Shane Lowry, and their exchange radiated the joy, beauty, and love of true friendship. In fact, I believe this friendship might have been a crucial element in McIlroy's first major victory in eleven years and his first green jacket—a fitting shade among Ireland's legendary forty shades of green.


Rory and Shane have been professional golfers for a collective 34 years (Rory in 2007 and Shane in 2009). As written by Golf.com "Lowry and McIlroy's relationship was forged more than two decades ago on Ireland's junior golf circuit. McIlroy's star ascended faster, but Lowry, a dogged competitor, worked hard to keep up. As elite professionals, they've traveled the world together and battled as teammates in international team events." They are much more that competitors on the tour. They share a common homeland, stateside residence (Jupiter, FL) and connection. As mentioned in "Full Swing" Lowry said, "I feel like I'm good for him, but he's also really good for me." I didn't need to see their shared moment at the Masters to admit they do. Plenty has transpired in the past year to reveal that truth.


In addition to a shared victory in the 2023 Ryder Cup (Europe over US 16½-11½), the Irish duo won the 2024 Zurich Classic in New Orleans. As written in the PGA.com post
To win any PGA TOUR event is very cool, but to do it with one of your closest friends — we’ve known each other for a long, long time, probably like over 20 years,” McIlroy said. “To think about where we met and where we’ve come from, to be on this stage and do this together — really, really cool journey that we’ve been a part of.

Evidently, the night before the final round the Irishmen received a standing ovation when they "showed up at historic, creole French Quarter restaurant Arnaud’s on the eve of their final round at the Zurich Classic of New Orleans team event." And, you might have caught sight of the two of them the night of their victory as they showed up on stage at the tournament's after party to karaoke and sing Don't Stop Believin' with their fans. I swear I saw a performance of "Sweet Caroline" as well, but I can't seem to find it.

Shane said, “He’s getting old, but he still moves the needle a little bit,” Lowry joked as McIlroy chuckled. “Rory brings a crowd and people love him and we’ve gotten a lot of love in New Orleans. We’ve had just the best week.” 

Safe to say, these two enjoyed another good week in February 2025at the AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am. The Guardian reports, 

Rory McIlroy celebrated a hole-in-one on his way to a score of 66 in the opening round at California’s Pebble Beach Pro-Am. The 35-year-old Northern Irishman found the cup with a sand wedge on the par-three 15th hole at Spyglass Hill Golf Course and will now head into Friday’s second round two shots behind leader Russell Henley.

McIlroy’s was not the day’s only hole-in-one. Irishman Shane Lowry landed one of his own on the famous par-three seventh at Pebble Beach, with the ball landing short of the pin and rolling in. Lowry used social media site X to call it the “shot of my dreams."

The two found their way to the iconic tap room that evening where everyone in house was treated to a beverage of their choice by the Irishmen. #jealous!

In these instances, I see much of what Shasta Nelson—author, speaker and relationship expert names as the three relationship requirements in a healthy, close friendship. To illustrate the metric, she draws an equilateral triangle—with positivity at its base. Consistency and vulnerability come together at the apex. This is how she defines each side.


Positivity: The pleasant emotions we feel that makes the relationship rewarding and satisfying.
Enjoyable moments that characterize positivity include: love, trust, enjoyment, affection, enthusiasm, appreciation, silliness/fun, special, validation, happiness, excitement and hope.

Consistency: The repetition of time and behavior that makes the relationship feel reliable and safe.
Repetitive time together involves providing time and space, finding "excuses" to gather, showing the other the relationship is important to you, and so forth.

Vulnerability: The mutual sharing and listening that leaves both people feeling known and seen.
Understood as expressing the full spectrum of emotions from pride and joy to loss and failure. Can also be known though asking for help, apologizing, forgiving as well as initiating tough or challenging conversations. Vulnerability gives permission to be authentic. 

The Netflix golf reality series Full Swing, Season 3, Episode 2 entitle "Through Thick and Thin" demonstrates how Rory and Shane share a healthy and viable friendship. Rory admits, 
The tour can be a lonely place at times so to have a friend like Shane, who is always up for a laugh and always wants to do fun things—this year, more than any other year has really shown its importance to me 

I'd say the weeks that we are home, we probably see each other five times a week?! It's nice to have someone like that, to who you can pick up the phone and chat about anything—whether its about golf or stuff going on away from golf...

That's positivity, consistency and vulnerability in Full Swing ;-)

Shane added, "We've known each other probably 21 or 22 years. When you're Rory McIlroy who is the greatest player of our generation, people are not themselves around you. So you meet people and you hang out with people and they are not themselves. But, when I hang out with him, I'm just myself. I think I'm probably a breath of fresh air to his life at times where he can just get away and be himself and be normal..."

Shasta Nelson would describe Lowry and McIlroy as "relationally fit."

It was a joy to watch the Lowrys and McIlroys share the green at The Masters Par-3 contest. And hard not to love the way Shane's daughter picked up Poppy to congratulate her for putting out the hole. Perhaps all of this put Rory is a calm, clear headed state of mind for what was one of the more memorable Sunday at the Masters. The power of friendship is not to be underestimated. 

Photo Credits
Family
Talking
Video
Holding a trophy

Wednesday, April 9, 2025

What a "Deep Cut" Reveals

As we waited for the next session of the retreat to begin, I glanced at a sophomore I didn’t know. He was wearing a "God, Country, Notre Dame" Under Armour t-shirt.

“It’s Henry, right?” I asked.

“Yes,” he replied.

“Did your mom or dad go to Notre Dame?”

“No.”

“Oh, the reason I ask is because of the shirt you’re wearing. That one seems legit. Where did you get it?”

“I ordered it online from the bookstore,” he said.

“Huh. Well, it’s not unusual to see people wearing a Notre Dame sweatshirt or tee—look at Mark, for example. That shirt could’ve come from any store. But yours? To me, that’s sort of an insider’s pick.”

Another teacher nearby chimed in, “Ah yes, a deep cut.”

“Deep cut?” I asked.

He explained, “Deep cuts are usually early songs by an artist—tracks that might be less popular or well-known than others on the same album.”

“I love that,” I said. “Springsteen fans know a legion of deep cuts—the B-sides, the songs he let other artists record that became hits. His 1999–2000 reunion tour even centered around many of them, blending Tracks with the classics. And as Boss fans know, Tracks 2 is set to drop on June 27. Deep cut city!”

Whether it's a song, a reference to a book or movie or an article of clothing, deep cuts (which has its own entry in the Merriam-Webster dictionary) offer two insights into our humanity: authenticity and identity.

Identity
What someone believes, where they grew up, who they root for, and what they value—these all shape our sense of identity. We come to understand ourselves and others through these frameworks.

Phrases like “born and raised Catholic,” “Bills Mafia member,” “C & E Christian,” or “I bleed blue and gold” are common in both spiritual and sports communities. People aren’t shy about waving their flag, singing Hallelujah, or spending Sundays with their faith community or favorite franchise. Many of us want to be known by our tribes and traditions. It connects us. Sometimes it divides us. But it always reveals something fundamental.

Whether it’s a rare alumni sweatshirt or the belief that “lifelong Cubs fan” should be etched on a tombstone—identity matters.

Of course, our lens of identity can shift over time—as it should. Life isn’t static. A recent Notre Dame Magazine article titled "Out of Practice" Ken Woodward (a Notre Dame alum and former Newseek religion editor and Christian Smith—a sociologist on campus. 

KW: Readers like me, who came of age in the 1950s, will surely argue that there are other, stronger reasons for being religious. One would be group identity. “This is my crowd. These are my people.” Does traditional religion no longer provide group identity?

CS: For some people, it clearly does, but I think it’s more challenging now to get an identity from religion than it used to be. The boundaries are more porous. People are involved in many other communities. The internet has opened up people to the entire world. So, it’s still there, but it’s just less effective and clear.

KW: Would you say that other identities have superseded this? “I’m female.” “I’m LGBTQ.”

CS: Yes, exactly. The rise of identity politics. If you look at what people think matters for being a good American or for having a strong personal identity, very few younger generations are going to say, “I’m Catholic” or “I’m Jewish” or something like that. It’ll be much more around sex, gender, political affiliation. 

While not true for all Irish fans, wearing a Notre Dame deep cut usually signifies that "Catholic" is or was part of one's identity. I would argue that it might serve as an invitation for a conversation about that and so much more: midwest roots? working class/first generation student? Irish or Polish heritage? football fan?! etc.


When my student wore this particular IRISH sweatshirt, I had to ask her about it. I can't tell you how many of my classmates and I owned this specific sweatshirt (or its sibling which was grey with navy lettering). It's screams of 90's ND in the same way these baseball caps are now the poster child for the decade. 
That deep cut brought back memories for me of shopping at the former Hammes Bookstore. Turns out, her dad was two years ahead of me. "He lived in Grace Hall." (another identity marker). 

Authenticity

While not true for all Irish fans, wearing a Notre Dame deep cut often signals that “Catholic” is—or was—part of one’s identity. But it can also open the door to broader conversations: Midwest roots? Working class? First-gen college student? Irish or Polish heritage? Football fan?

For example, when I saw a student wearing a particular IRISH sweatshirt, I had to ask her about it. That sweatshirt (and its gray-with-navy-lettering sibling) was practically a uniform for my classmates and me in the ’90s. A deep cut like that brought back memories—shopping at the old Hammes Bookstore, bumping into dorm mates. Turns out, her dad was two years ahead of me. “He lived in Grace Hall,” she said. Another identity marker.

I haven’t studied identity politics or sociology in depth, but I do know this: once we begin to understand identity, we start asking questions about authenticity.

We want to know what’s real. We crave it. We want to be known—truly known—for our passions, our loyalties, our roots. Some people hold 30-year season tickets. Others reminisce about the old ballparks, long gone. We stake our pride on those loves. And we should.

That’s also why we’ve developed language for what isn’t authentic—terms like bandwagon fan or fair-weather follower. And this is where deep cuts come in.

Owning or recognizing a deep cut implies history, loyalty, and pride. It’s the T-shirt version of “I was here before it was cool.” It’s literal—people wear it on their sleeves. And it’s encoded. Not everyone gets it. That’s the point. I’m not usually a fan of the acronym IYKYK, but in this case? It fits.

For example, I once saw George Kittle and other 49ers wear a specific shirt in press conferences. I found it online and wore it to the gym. My friend Greg, a San Francisco native, saw it and said, “I love those. They used to be practice shirts. We had so many they became rags.” I told him those “rags” now sell for $199 to $299 on eBay.

For some, that’s a small price to pay to be seen as an authentic Niners fan. And given the team’s last-place finish in the NFC West this year (6–11), that shirt may speak louder now than it did after Super Bowl LVIII. IYKYK.

In conclusion, one of my favorite sweaters is a navy cardigan with the university logo on the patch. They gave them to us at graduation. I kept mine—and I wonder how many of my classmates did the same. When people compliment it, I get to tell the story.

Yes, Notre Dame is a big part of my identity. And no one who knows me questions whether I’m an authentic fan—of the Irish, the Giants, the Niners, the Warriors—or an authentic follower of my faith. These aren’t just labels. They’re deep cuts. All have been called in to question for both discussion and defense. Each one matters to me.

Photo Credits